* Posts by Captain DaFt

3821 publicly visible posts • joined 16 Jun 2007

Walmart in iPhone 5s, 5c price slash – gotta make room for that 'iPhone 6', right?

Captain DaFt

Heretic here

So, because it's Apple phones, nobody considers it might simply be because they're not selling that well for Walmart?

What's it like using the LG G smartwatch and Android Wear? Let us tell YOU

Captain DaFt

I'm a bit disappointed in the LG model

Previously, they offered a wristwatch that was a cellphone;

http://www.lg.com/uk/mobile-phones/lg-GD910-watch-phone

and in my opinion, looked better than this one.

Unfortunately, they seem to have pulled that model in favor of this one.

/petulant "I wanted to look like Dick Tracy!" petulant/

Creepy battery-operated teddy bear sex toy..,sadly, this is for real

Captain DaFt

Re: Maybe not so innocent

"So that's why Paddington Bear has a rather smug look."

It also throws a new meaning on Pooh's obsession with 'honeypots'.

What is it with cloud computing? Engage VM, disengage brain?

Captain DaFt

I may have had an epiphany*

But for the longest time, something about 'The Cloud' just seemed so... familiar.

Then it hit me: 'The Cloud' is just the old AOL paradigm tuned for business.

A walled garden for all your business needs, no need to go anywhere else, no ability to go anywhere else, because it's all seamlessly tied to one provider that damned well doesn't want to play nice with anyone else.

*Or it could just be a paranoia induced stroke.

Microsoft's Online Exchange fixed after going titsup for NINE HOURS

Captain DaFt

"Remind me, why should I move from an on premesis solution to a more expensive cloud offering?"

Because you may be making a profit, which any lackey in a boardroom will testify in front of Government belongs to their corporation!

Why do you insist on stealing from the Big Corporations?

If you like slipping your hand into Puppets, look for these certified types

Captain DaFt

Missed it by one letter!

If this was from Muppet Labs, I'd be more interested... Just to see what it does to hapless beaker!

Got a botnet? Thinking of using it to mine Bitcoin? Don't bother

Captain DaFt

Re: Maybe we should encourage them...

I think the whole mining part of malware is more of a, 'Well, as long as I have all these machines doing other stuff, a bit of mining couldn't hurt.' situation.

More a sideline than the main purpose.

Wake up, grandad: All the techies use social media

Captain DaFt

Since I started using the internet in 1998,

I guess that makes me a dinosaur!

To prove my fossilization, I still chat on IRC!

(We were using hashmarks before it was cool!)

Can I yell 'Get off my lawn!' now?

'I got a little bit upset by that Register article...' says millionaire model. Bless!

Captain DaFt

Re: Budgeting

What she means is she has unpaid interns spamming Facebook.

VIDEO SELFIE DRONE: 'AirDog' UAV follows you everywhere you go

Captain DaFt

Re: Prior Art

First thing it reminded me of was the hover cameras from Babylon 5.

Looks like it'd be riskier to headbutt, though.

Yes. App that lets you say 'Yo' raises 1 MEEELLION DOLLARS

Captain DaFt

Re: We're finally there...

Just remember:

Genius has its limits. Stupidity knows no bounds. - Dhamma Absu

Captain DaFt

Re: YO

"YO"

Yo Momma!

Mobe battery flat? These ELECTRIC PANTS will pump things up

Captain DaFt

They took the Idea too far.

Wouldn't it have been better (and cheaper) to make an inductive charger that would fit into regular trouser pockets, and act as a protective case for the phone?

(Of course, that wouldn't let you emblazon the logo on the crotch, butt, waistband and seams, so Marketing was dead against it.)

GCHQ to share threat intel – and declassify SECRET inventions

Captain DaFt

Re: They don't do this already?

"(ok I'm fairly sure uk.gov has never given me a bath but you get the point...)"

What? You don't pay taxes?

Internet of Things fridges? Pfft. So how does my milk carton know when it's empty?

Captain DaFt

Re: Electronic Nose

"You'd probably find if you opened the door it would walk/crawl/ooze out quite happily on its own and go lurk in a dark corner and scare the spiders..."

Or start lurking way in the back of the fridge... and every time you open the door you hear it hunting for revenge, "Here, kitty kitty!"

Yet another reason to skip commercials: Microsoft ad TURNS ON your Xbox One

Captain DaFt

Re: Tinfoil hat time

"It'd be like naming your dog 'stay' or 'sit'."

True. I once named a dog 'Goaway'. Poor thing had a breakdown when I tried to call it. :(

Car titans WON'T STEAL our tech, says Musk: DAMNIT, I'll GIVE IT to 'em

Captain DaFt

With or without a horn?

Come off it, Moon, Earth. We know you're 60 million years older than we thought

Captain DaFt

Re: Gentlemen NEVER discuss a lady's age

"That's just the thing, there are almost never any creationists arguing their side on these articles, just lots and lots of whining about creationists."

Bingo! There's really only a tiny, tiny minority of Creationists, it's just that they're very loud... Almost as loud as the people railing against them, who give more publicity to the Creationists than they could ever drum up themselves.

Best course? Just ignore them, except to point and shake your head in pity whenever one is paraded on TV by some attention seeking sot using him/her to drum up ratings for his/her TV program.

And... This is the last time you'll hear me mention them here.

The Force of tax breaks brings Star Wars filming to Blighty

Captain DaFt

Re: Meh. Whatever.

"Disney owning Star Wars is wrong on so many levels,"

An Evil Empire, making movies about an Evil Empire. Seems apropos to me.

Glacier's hot butt melts ice, boffins say

Captain DaFt

Re: No boom today

"It won't just go boom... it will go BOOM."

Here is the 'BOOM!' you're looking for:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWtohHwNXoU

UK govt preps World War 2 energy rationing to keep the lights on

Captain DaFt

"We do import a fair amount of coal from Russia."

Yep, despite the common saying, shipping coal to Newcastle has been a rather profitable occupation.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coals_to_Newcastle

Evidence of ancient WORLD SMASHER planet Theia - FOUND ON MOON

Captain DaFt

Re: Planetisimal?

Agreed, all I've read on the theory calls Theia 'Mars sized'.

That's hardly 'Planetisimal'.

Vodafone: SPOOKS are plugged DIRECTLY into our network

Captain DaFt

"I'm not sure I'd describe someone else reading my quite frankly rather banal email traffic "terrifying"."

So you're saying that the equivalent of a gang of masked persons of unknown provenance following you around everywhere, taking copious notes of everything you say and do, however banal and ordinary, is is no way unsettling?

Dude, I am in awe of your nerve!

NSA: Inside the FIVE-EYED VAMPIRE SQUID of the INTERNET

Captain DaFt

Re: Not that I particularly like being spied on, but...

"Claims that it was developed in order to spy on the population at large is hopelessly paranoid nonsense,"

But ignoring the fact that it has been co-opted as a tool to do so is sheer folly.

Captain DaFt

Re: Lets not forget who is to blame

"A 24/7 surveillance state is not a free country, and a complete inability to change this through election is not democracy. You may want to reflect on this as you look at the current behaviour of 5-eyes, and decide what sort of country it is that you actually live in ;)"

This needs to be engraved in stone, in letters two meters high, and placed in each Capital of the Five Eyes loonies, where it will always be visible when the Governments are in session.

YOU - NASA. Enough with the ROBOTS, get some PEOPLE to MARS

Captain DaFt

Re: Humans > robots?

"What can a human do on Mars that a robot can't?"

assess and adapt to new information on the fly make immediate decisions when faced with unexpected situations and adapt accordingly.

Also, the probes we've sent to Mars have done amazing work over the decades, but a human crew could have done a similar amount of work in months.

Apple Fanbois are the biggest pervs, say people who know

Captain DaFt

Re: Who would have thought

"Or maybe this what they do when they're riding the bus?"

Is that what the kids are calling it these days? Slang is so weird!

Oh, wow. US Secret Service wants a Twitter sarcasm-spotter

Captain DaFt

Re: Tunnel vision again

"make the US government look silly, what kind of monster would want to do something like that?"

From what I've seen during my life, most elected officials, all party leaders and their respective flunkies, have been engaged in an all out competition to do just that.

DARPA crazytech crew want to create HUMAN-FREE cyber defence systems

Captain DaFt

Re: Sentient Perfection

"it will be impossible to take down when it decides we are all a liablity."

Mankind will always have the upper hand in the end. Why?

Klutzes!

You know the type, in their hands, batteries go flat, cameras go blind, software crashes, and electronic devices fail in mysterious ways.

The only thing any sentient machine can do when faced with one of them is run away screaming!

For your next privacy panic, look no further than vending machines

Captain DaFt

Invest in Krylon now!

If this takes off, I foresee big sales in small cans of black spray paint!

Snowden never blew a whistle, US spy boss claims

Captain DaFt

Well... DUH!

http://www.propublica.org/article/nsa-says-it-cant-search-own-emails

They've already told World + dog that they can't find *anything* in their email archives.

Or is this only a thing when they *DON'T* want to find them?

Still using e-mail? Marketers say you're part of DARK SOCIAL

Captain DaFt

Re: How much would you pay to Like my stuff?

I've always had a suspicion that Most online ad marketeers (Google included) rely heavily on the Forer effect when pitching themselves at companies.

Captain DaFt

Re: They missed one or two things....

"let them have their whine, and maybe someone will send them some cheese to go with it."

I'll do it! Tastefully served in designer rat traps, of course.

Disney plans standalone Star Wars movies to go with the main trilogy

Captain DaFt

Re: Furry

I dunno... Any movie that ends in a climatic 'There can be only one!' battle between Goofy and Jar Jar might be worth watching.

(As long as Jar jar loses, of course!)

Adobe blames 'maintenance failure' for 27-hour outage

Captain DaFt

"I'm sure a lot of studios that got hit by this are not looking into that."

And more than a few have been looking into this as well:

http://www.graphicdesignforum.com/forum/forum/software/other-software/34309-free-open-source-alternatives-for-adobe-creative-suite

Microsoft throws Kinect under a bus, slashes Xbox One to $399

Captain DaFt

Re: Popular commands...

"I would have thought "Xbox Off" would have been pretty high in the list too..."

Nah, people always yank the plug out when they rage-quit.

Japanese cops arrest man with five 3D printed guns at home

Captain DaFt

In Japan, no guns means children are safe!

... Oh wait...

8 Children Die in Japan Knife Attack

Well, it's not like it's a common occurrence.

oh wait...

7 killed in Japan knife attack

Japan knife attacker injures at least 13 people

Turns out it's so common Japanese press tend to label them tōrima* cases.

Looks like some people are going to kill other people, no matter how you try to limit their murder choices.

*'torima' = 'passing demon'

Don't let hackers know Mandiant founder checks his email on an iPad. Oh.

Captain DaFt

Re: No, US hacking won't appear to come from the US. Duh.

Mandiant "hadn't seen" any cyber-espionage activity that traced back to the United States

More like, he's seen no activity because they just ask for it and he has no recourse but to hand it over and keep mum.

Truck-sized asteroid slips silently between Moon and Earth

Captain DaFt

Beep beep!

They would have missed it completely, but it honked its horn when it passed the Moon.

NASA space shuttle landing site to turn commercial

Captain DaFt

Emerson!

“A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do."

Ouch... right in the Androids! Google hit by another antitrust sueball

Captain DaFt

Re: Yep

More like there is a gold rush to become a lawyer in the US.

It's driven by high profile stories of lawyers raking in millions, but the truth is, most step out of law school and find they can't get work.

End result? Crap like this situation.

https://www.theformtool.com/coming-50000-unemployed-lawyers/

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2012/jun/17/unemployed-lawyers-sue-schools-over-promises-of-jo/?page=all

http://www.abajournal.com/news/article/job_market_for_would-be_lawyers_is_bleaker_than_it_looks_analysis_says/

http://www.businessweek.com/articles/2013-11-25/will-too-many-lawyers-destroy-american-society-ask-peter-turchin

So Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be lawyers, unless you want to see them pan-handling, 'Will sue for food."

White House to world: We don't hoard IT security vulnerabilities

Captain DaFt

So he's saying...

We don't do that kind of thing, it'd be foolish.

Buuttt... we totally do that thing when we think we can get away with it.

Shut up, Siri, I'm watching telly! iOS 7.1 code reveals new role for Apple's PA

Captain DaFt

Re: Android Already There?

Well they tried to patent the wheel, but someone in Tokyo had beaten them to it.

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2013/09/27/japan_apple_loses_patent_click_wheel_siri/

Bankrupt Bitcoin bunker blender begins: MtGox admin starts liquefaction

Captain DaFt

Re: Missing bitdosh

Isn't progress amazing? These days you can hide a fortune on a micro-SD card!

Apple patent LOCKS drivers out of their OWN PHONES

Captain DaFt

Oh great...

tinfoilhat/ First they get the devices into everybody's hands, then they start using them to censor behaviour.

'The Twonky' was supposed to be science fiction, not a blueprint for the future! /tinfoilhat

MIT boffins moot tsunami-proof floating nuke power plants

Captain DaFt

Re: And when the Greens get pissy...

"but do they have lasers on their heads?"

Here's Your freakin' shark with a frikkin' laser on it's head. Now can we let this this poor old tired meme die with dignity already?

Elon Musk's LEAKY THRUSTER gas stalls Space Station supply run

Captain DaFt

I understand he tried to file a complaint over the delayed delivery, but they told him that he hadn't a leg to stand on.

Parent gabfest Mumsnet hit by SSL bug: My heart bleeds, grins hacker

Captain DaFt

"Wow! All this hatred for MumsNet...

Really! Where?"

Don't you know? If you're not uncritically, unabashedly, and constantly praising them, You obviously must hate them!

Fools only feed on flattery.

Forget the beach 'n' boardwalk, check out the Santa Cruz STEVE JOBS FOUNTAIN

Captain DaFt

Re: Images per meter

"There is a street named for Steve Wozniak in San Jose. (Woz Way.)"

A one way street, I take it?