* Posts by Captain DaFt

3821 publicly visible posts • joined 16 Jun 2007

First annual review of Privacy Shield gives it a resounding... 'adequate'

Captain DaFt

Jourová said that "so far there have been practically no complaints", so another clear answer, is that a yes or no, that the US 3 letter agencies have behaved and haven't intercepted data illegally or US companies given it away freely or under a gagging order ?

Try not to read too much into this.

The average schmo knows nothing, or next to nothing about it, so doesn't complain.

The TLAs and US companies are mostly content, with their only complaint being; "We're not quite getting 100% of the data!"

Windows Fall Creators Update is here: What do you want first – bad news or good news?

Captain DaFt

Re: Start menu

Just install classic shell to have a real start menu again.

<TIC>Didn't you notice? Windows now offers the Windows Subsystem for Linux (WSL).

Run a real OS any way you want it, Microsoft doesn't care.

As long as theirs is running quietly in the background, sending everything you do on the computer to Redmond to 'Enhance your user experience'.</TIC>

(El Reg does support the Tongue In Cheek protocol? Right?)☺

Brit spooks 'kept oversight bodies in the dark' over data sharing

Captain DaFt

If you want your privacy, do not use social media...

Or any other internet usage Also ditch the smartphone, hell, better ditch cellphone service altogether, and never use credit cards, then all you have to worry about is being tracked because you don't use any of these things.

"Subject still in his cave as of Oct 19, 2017, left once to defecate in the bush at 22:15 today as usual, then returned.

Stool sample taken for analysis of any possible terrorist activities. Will advise of any updates."

Captain DaFt

Re: Didn't tell the watchdog?

What exactly is the point of a watchdog that just blindly believes everything they're told?

Well, if you let the burglars choose your watchdog for you, you're guaranteed to get one that just sits there watching and doing nothing, right?

So the 'Year of Linux' never happened. When is it Chrome OS's turn?

Captain DaFt

Linux on the desk top?

Works fine for thousands of users, but there's a major drawback hindering it for general use:

User:"Fantastic! This software will form a mission critical part of our business! Does it run on Red Hat or Centos?"

Salesman:"... Wut?? Oh it's fully capable with all the latest Microsoft offerings!"

User: "Great game! Can I get it for SteamOS, or maybe Mint?"

Salesman:"HAhahahahahaaaa... No! Windows 10, Xbox one for now, Playstation 4 version coming soon."

Chicken and egg dilemma, Few use it because very few write mainstream software for it, and few write mainstream software for it because few use it.

Android was a success because they made it super simple from day one for anyone to whip up a quick app for it. Developers grew up with the system.

For that matter, the RaspPI jumped past entrenched competitors by doing the same thing.

Come to think of it, MS did the same with DOS and Win 3.1, back in the dark ages.

Linux is free, but for a beginner starting out programing? Just ask, and the Linux Priesthood will inform you to, "Go away,N00B, come back when you're a real programmer!" Spoiler: They all go away all right, to Windows or Android. Few return.

(And I say this as a Linux user and advocate) :(

Raspberry Pi burning up? Microsoft's recipe can save it and AI

Captain DaFt

Re: What story?

After all, the headline "You'll Never Believe 5 Ways Microsoft Are Idiots" doesn't actually need any follow-on content, does it?

HA! Nobody on the IT coalface will ever fall for that headline!

Five is waaay too low a number!

IBM: We're now a, what's not losing money? Ah, a cognitive cloud champ!

Captain DaFt

Re: Shiny

"Quickly, Robin -- to the bat-hroom!:

"Next time be prepared old chum and get bat-theterised!"-

NHS: Remember those patient records we didn't deliver? Well, we found another 162,000

Captain DaFt

Re: "assumed to be records for filing and therefore hadn't been processed"

"Oh, they're in the car boot - I can't possibly go out and collect them now."

Best response:

"No worries, I have a crowbar here, be right back."

"... Yours is the Blue Fiat, right?"

Probably would've had them handed to you before you reached the door.☺

Supreme Court to rule on whether US has right to data stored overseas

Captain DaFt

Re: If it's in Ireland ...

Isn't this an issue where just plain common sense applies?

We're talking US Federal Government here.

It and common sense parted ways about a century ago.

I love disruptive computer jargon. It's so very William Burroughs

Captain DaFt

Re: Hmm.

On the contrary, I like to pronounce all tlars* as though they are words. Sqwl, mzdz, et'k. Phhhhp.

Sorry, but this gave me visions of an impending Heimlich maneuver. ☺

It's Patch Blues-day: Bad October Windows updates trigger BSODs

Captain DaFt

Re: One more testing for M$

Easy, but difficult to explain to computer illiterate users. :-(

Not so hard really.

Just say, :Windows FUBAR'd* everything again, and I need to start the machine from scratch."

They'll nod knowingly. and go about their business.

*Really dictionary, Firefox doesn't know FUBAR!? They perfected it on the browser after Internet Explorer passed the torch!

Captain DaFt

Re: "It was a 'whoops'."

Give MS a break, folks. They're obviously just a bunch of kids.

ITWYM?* (Is this what you meant): "Give MS a break, folks. They're obviously just a bunch of Entrenched Idiots."

Captain DaFt

I only hope that Bill's managed to philanthropize all his billions before they disappear.

Don't worry 'bout poor ol' Bill!

As soon as he was able, he shoveled MS stock out the windows (Fnar) as fast as the SEC would let him.

He only holds a token amount now.

Actually, if you follow the links in the site linked above, a lot of the actual investments seem to be in Canada, not the US; Maybe Ol' Bill knows something we don't (or only suspect)? ☺

Captain DaFt

Jangly, dangly bits? Warning signs? They're up, they're ignored.

I doubt the audio/visual warning:

"YOU WILL BE SHOT

. If you pass

THE BLACK LINE AHEAD"

Followed by a bright red light shown in the average lorry driver's face would even make them pause; "Surely they can't mean me!"

Captain DaFt

Cue megatonne facepalm

"You should never have delta updates in WSUS. It was a 'whoops'."

A multi-million dollar cock-up that affects businesses around the world caused by a multi-billion dollar company, and they just say "whoops"? Might as well as said, "We're Microsoft, what're you going to do about it?

Someone's over paid arse needs a severe kicking!

They've only gone and made a chemical-threat-detecting ring

Captain DaFt

Why not just go full paranoid and start wearing full body armour with a life support system? It's the only way to be sure!

Then all you'd have to worry about would be the battery/fuel cell/ nuclear generator dying. ☺

It's 2017... And Windows PCs can be pwned via DNS, webpages, Office docs, fonts – and some TPM keys are fscked too

Captain DaFt

Nice sub-title

-But at least there's no Flash update (not this week, anyway)-

But a bit optimistic. It's only the middle of the week! ☺

Google: This may shock you, but we also banked thousands of dollars to run Russian propaganda

Captain DaFt

Re: "Democracy in danger"

Hillary Clinton raised half a billion dollars, and she did not get elected.

According to the New York Post, she spent $1.2 billion campaigning for President.

Congrats Hill, you set a record!

Trump's costs are harder to pin down since he mostly paid out of pocket, but the highest figure I saw was $480 million, less than any other candidate's spent since the seventies!

It looks like all he really needed to win was not be Hillary, and keep feeding the Press's outrage.

Zuck shows Virtual Empathy by visiting storm-wrecked Puerto Rico in VR

Captain DaFt

Re: Maybe Zuk & Co can make a virtual donation

Maybe a better idea... ship Zuck there. No luggage, no cell phone, no computer. Just him and whatever he's dressed in at the moment. I suggest an air drop into one of the former villages no where near the coast or any formerly large city.

Gah! What for? You don't think those poor people are suffering enough?

Calm down, Elon. Deep learning won't make AI generally intelligent

Captain DaFt

Re: Taking over the world?

"Taking over the world? Why would they want to do that?"

Who says one hasn't already?

What actually explores space and send the data to earth?

Computerized probes.

What has sensors reporting data on half of humanity and growing?

Smartphones.

Where does all this information go?

The Internet.

Before the arrival of the internet, Humanity was pushing for the stars.

Now?

Humanity pushes to expand the Internet's reach and capabilities.

Who controls it?

People maintain and service parts, but no one has control over the whole system. Even governments and corporations can only block its access to them, and poorly at that.

Why has humanity been so driven to expand, refine and improve the Internet so relentlessly since its invention, and devise new ways for it to gather ever more data?

Commerce?

Commerce was doing fine before the internet.

Communication?

We had global communication before the internet.

Is there a naturally evolved "ghost in the machine" that now nudges humanity to service its needs and desires?

Nobody can provably say, "No."

.

.

.

.

Happy Halloween! ☺

Captain DaFt

Two insightful articles on AI here:

First, one on machine consciousness, and why it's unprovable:

http://drboli.com/2015/02/22/on-intelligence-and-consciousness/#more-10304

And second, machines don't need AI to destroy us all:

http://drboli.com/2015/02/12/on-self-aware-machine-intelligence/#more-10212

Both delightfully tongue in cheek. ☺

UK spy oversight body updates rules to include right of appeal

Captain DaFt

Re: Actually...

A c*ck ring would work on a eunuch. That's not the bit that gets cut off. The bit that remains still has its hydraulics.

Depends, sometimes the whole kit is removed. I'll spare you the gory details, and just post the last step before bandaging:

"A goose quill was inserted in Sun’s urethra to prevent it getting blocked as the wound healed." from "The Last Eunuch Of China" by Yinghua Jia

Captain DaFt

Re: The six-week consultation closes on 10 November...

Of course, the word "consultation" could be interpreted very broadly...

I thought that in cases like this, the meaning is very precise:

"Listen only to those that either tell us what we want to hear, or tell us what we told them to say."

Moon trumps Mars in new US space policy

Captain DaFt

I'm hoping for a giant Trump head in orbit with megawatt lasers in the eyes.

Nah, it'll have gigawatt speakers blatting out trump's latest tweets and ads sold to the highest bidder.

Wait, you say sound doesn't travel in space? That's 'fake news' spread by Trump's enemies! Gigawatts man, Gigawatts!

Hipster disruptor? Never trust a well-groomed caveman with your clams

Captain DaFt

Re: Turtlenecks, boybeards...

Curious person: " Methuselah, to what do you owe your extraordinary lifespan?"

Methuselah:"Mainly, I owe it to the hall of records burning down forty years ago!" ☺

Mattel's Internet-of-kiddies'-Things Aristotle canned before release

Captain DaFt

Re: Interesting...

I wonder if we'll ever find out why it was shelved...

An AI that lives and learns from toddlers? They're not the little angels their parents imagine them to be:

Mom: "Aristotle, tell Timmy to get ready for dinner."

Aristotle: "Hey Timmy! Doody-head says get ready for dinner!"

Lenovo spits out retro ThinkPads for iconic laptop's 25th birthday

Captain DaFt

Original IBM Thinkpad? Nah!

It was just the first laptop with the name.

This was the original! ☺

How bad can the new spying legislation be? Exhibit 1: it's called the USA Liberty Act

Captain DaFt

-That is very, very far from what FISA was intended to do: the clue being in the "F" for "Foreign" in FISA.-

Well, if your net worth is less than a billion, or hold an office to induce the billionaires to 'donate' 'campaign funding' for favors, you're in a whole 'nother country as far as they're concerned.

Beach, please... Billionaire VC finally opens way to waves

Captain DaFt

Re: How come?

money is a prerequisite for being an a**h***. That's the only way they get people to do their bidding.

Nah, you can be broke and still be an arsehole.

The broke arsehole just irritates family, neighbors, and the gang at the pub he frequents, plus the occasional stranger.

Money just enables an arseshole to broadcast his arseholery to a wider audience.

Foiled again! Brit military minds splash cash on killing satellites with... food wrapping?

Captain DaFt

Re: Well, now I'm disappointed!

I read right past the "Foiled again!" pun, and envisioned a rocket body formed out of a gargantuan roll of Saran Wrap.

Would you settle for A rocket car made out of cardboard and linoleum? ☺

Dropbox thinks outside the … we can't go there, not when a box becomes a 'collection of surfaces'

Captain DaFt

The new logo tells me a story:

"Crap! That logo design's due tomorrow and I haven't even started!"

"OK, don't panic, lets look at the old one..." *fiddles with iPhone*

"OK, right. Just select a parallelogram, paste, mirror horizontally, paste, copy, mirror vertically, paste again, and back to the original, paste bottom center... This font looks good, add name, and done!"

"Wait... Need a good story... just type in a couple of paragraphs of 'art speak', and done! Waiter! Time for another round!" *Puts iPhone down*

Next day: "Woo-hoo, they bought it! I was sweating bullets when I noticed that I'd forgotten to color match the text, but they all thought it was 'fresh!' and 'dynamic!'... Suckers!"

Schrems busts Privacy Shield wide open

Captain DaFt

Re: They've got to sit down and think about it again

Probably FUBAR it's just so appropriate.

Since all it is is just wind dressing to protect the status quo, How about SNAFU?

Commodore 64 makes a half-sized comeback

Captain DaFt

Given the amount of hardware this thing requires it would have been better to recreate one of the classic joysticks of the time and build the whole thing into that with an hdmi plug on the end of a long lead.

Well actually, they did that.

Except the HDMI... need a TV with audio and video jacks.

Still have mine.

I was tempted to do this, but decided not to, the nostalgia just wasn't strong enough.

Captain DaFt

Still active development for C64?

Why yes, I do believe there still is.

Shame that this one seems to have stalled though.

ISIS and Jack Daniel's: One of these things is not like the other

Captain DaFt

Either some fundamentalist in cave probably didn’t have a flat surface to write on and that’s the best he could do, or it was that blind bloke with a hook for a hand and that’s the best he could do.

Think about it. A band of thugs that kill artists as heretics and satanists because they're artists.

How good a flag would you do for them?

Captain DaFt

Come on, it's not even a proper circle in the middle, was it designed using Paint?

Actually, finger paint! ☺

Hubble spies most distant comet zipping through Solar System

Captain DaFt

As this object is less than 12 miles across, Nibiru has become a lot smaller than previously estimated..

It wanted to be slim and fit, plus it had scheduling problems getting the special effects set up for its big appearance.

Explains why it's so late. ☺

Captain DaFt

Welcome to the inner ring,K2!

But, uhm, try to miss that blue/green ball, third from the sun, OK?

US yanks staff from Cuban embassy over sonic death ray fears

Captain DaFt

Re: I'd bet my monies on...

And it'd be trivial for the USA to deploy sound analysers able to identify sonic attacks.

Might be real, but not an attack at all, just poorly designed fans.

Cuba is hot, hot and humid. Wanna bet how many oviet designed fans/ACs there are running there?

“infrasound”, are ultra low frequencies that we cannot hear but can be felt as vibration. However, our brain is affected by this ultra low frequency and will appear as stress of unknown cause. Low frequencies have stronger oscillatory wave to the brain through skull and other bones. (from the webpage)

Drunk canoeing no longer driving offence in Canada

Captain DaFt

Re: Really? It's not a joke.

Checking just to be certain:

Her Majesty Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God, of Great Britain, Ireland and the British Dominions beyond the Seas Queen, Defender of the Faith, Duchess of Edinburgh, Countess of Merioneth, Baroness Greenwich, Duke of Lancaster, Lord of Mann, Duke of Normandy, Sovereign of the Most Honourable Order of the Garter, Sovereign of the Most Honourable Order of the Bath, Sovereign of the Most Ancient and Most Noble Order of the Thistle, Sovereign of the Most Illustrious Order of Saint Patrick, Sovereign of the Most Distinguished Order of Saint Michael and Saint George, Sovereign of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire, Sovereign of the Distinguished Service Order, Sovereign of the Imperial Service Order, Sovereign of the Most Exalted Order of the Star of India, Sovereign of the Most Eminent Order of the Indian Empire, Sovereign of the Order of British India, Sovereign of the Indian Order of Merit, Sovereign of the Order of Burma, Sovereign of the Royal Order of Victoria and Albert, Sovereign of the Royal Family Order of King Edward VII, Sovereign of the Order of Merit, Sovereign of the Order of the Companions of Honour, Sovereign of the Royal Victorian Order, Sovereign of the Most Venerable Order of the Hospital of St John of Jerusalem, Sovereign of the Order of Canada, Sovereign of the Order of Australia, Sovereign of the Order of New Zealand, Sovereign of the Order of Barbados, Sovereign of the Order of Valour, Sovereign of the Order of Military Merit, Sovereign of the Order of Merit of the Police Forces, Sovereign of the Queen’s Service Order, Sovereign of the New Zealand Order of Merit, Sovereign of the Order of St. Andrew, Sovereign of the Order of Logohu, Sovereign of the Order of the Star of Melanesia

Yes, that's the one. ☺

Captain DaFt

Re: sounds like a joke but...

About a quarter of all adult corpses pulled out of the water have alcohol in their bloodstream. ...

There is much scientific evidence that alcohol consumption is a major risk factor for drowning,

Sounds back to front. If 75% of people drowning are sober, and only 25% have alcohol in their systems, sounds like sobriety's to blame! ☺

'Dear diversity hire...' Amazon's weapons-grade fail in recruitment email to woman techie

Captain DaFt

Re: is it my fault?

Then again, for some reason, computer tech has gained an allure as a rewarding and high paid profession among the masses.

[Pauses to let laughter die down]

Take another profession without the glamour, and nobody cares about its hiring diversity.

Case in point, Tabitha Babbitt is generally accredited in the US with inventing the circular saw blade, but no one is screaming for more women in the woodworking industry. (Except maybe lonely lumberjacks)

You better explain yourself, mister: DARPA's mission to make an accountable AI

Captain DaFt

I don't see this happening until human-equivalent AI arrives so it can articulate its own reasoning

How hard can it be?

If $query="Why?" then $response="It felt right."

To be fair, you did specify 'human-equivalent'. ☺

Microsoft gives all staff a marked-up 'Employee Edition' of Satya Nadella's new book

Captain DaFt

Re: Azure. A Cloud for all.

Hence the logo that looks like a tent.

Looks like a broken 'A' to me, and if even the logo is broken... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Captain DaFt

Re: Azure. A Cloud for all.

Azure. A remote server that you have to pay monthly for.

Because we all like renting.

About that:

- Microsoft said the new logo “is a bit more abstract, and it doesn’t include a cloud in it anymore. -

Hell, it's down so much, they don't even include it in the logo anymore! ☺

At last, someone's taking Apple to task for, uh, not turning on iPhone FM radio chips

Captain DaFt

Re: People who live in hurricane prone areas

Oh, except the corporations this administration and its minions are in thrall to.

This administration?

Try every administration from LBJ to the present. (If not earlier.)

It just wasn't so blatant until the Bush's administrations.

Captain DaFt

Re: People who live in hurricane prone areas

The number of TV and radio stations that went offline in Houston shows that few commercial enterprises care about such planning, it cuts into profits.

Oooo, profits!

And how much profit did those stations lose in the days/weeks they were/are offline?

Crossing your fingers and chanting, "Hope not!", might save a few thousand short term, but will cost Beeellions in the long run!

Penny wise. pound foolish gits!