* Posts by Captain DaFt

3821 publicly visible posts • joined 16 Jun 2007

Hacker 'Guccifer' extradited to US

Captain DaFt

"So, pretty good odds for a successful insanity plea?"

They can call it the Kardashian Defense.

Microsoft: Ditch your phone biz and do crazy hardware experiments

Captain DaFt

Re: Continuing may not be irrational

"Scrapping the Nimrod replacement and later starting an entirely new procurement might be an example of that, as for all I know might be not continuing with Windows 10 Mobile."

"not continuing with Windows 6 - 7 - 8 - 10 Mobile."

It seems MS already has plenty of practice with sunk costs, and are determined to keep going until they get it... Wronger?

PARIS paper plane lands in Spanish school textbook

Captain DaFt

"Knowing El reg, it probably exposed them to hundreds of typos and grammatical errors as well..."

Don't worry, the office that printed the textbook had an official at the door barring El Reg writers from the premises until they would buy a permit for an explosives factory. :)

Aye, AI: Cambridge's Dr Sean Holden talks to El Reg about our robot overlords

Captain DaFt

The final challenge:

True human type AI will occur when it can swap dirty jokes with you and crack up at the good ones, and go "EEEW!" at the gross ones.

Captain DaFt

"*What is the word I'm looking for..."

Succinctly?

Captain DaFt

Re: an awful lot of computing power that has managed to get them there

"But... how would you prove that it was?"

If it passes every test, how can you prove it isn't?

Move the goalposts?

Electrified bird bum bomb shuts down US nuclear power plant

Captain DaFt

Hmmm... Could it be...

SPB's Vengeance Vulture charging up Gojirra Style before the final battle with the FAA??

Rejoice, sysadmins, there's a new glamour job nobody understands

Captain DaFt

Re: Roll up, roll up! You don't even need to study!

"What best practices would you suggest?"

For one, how about gadgets that can't call out, and only answer to your personal computer/phone, which polls the gadgets with a secure key.

Then you get to set settings from your phone/PC,

You get to approve online orders for whatever item whatever gadget has deemed essential to order.

You get to see and approve/disapprove any updates and changes, because Gadget Corp has to notify you first, and then you get to decide whether to download them and let your phone/PC pass them on, all without Gadget Corp snooping on you.

But this'll never fly, because it deprives Gadget Corp of all that juicy data it could be collecting about you to sell to the highest bidder.

How exactly do you rein in a wildly powerful AI before it enslaves us all?

Captain DaFt

"raise the AI to want what we want"

And why? So we can fight over it? Look what happens when "moral" groups of people want the same resources. They just rationalise why the the other group is amoral and start head-bashing.

Better to make it want what we don't. "Earth? Eugh! Too hot, wet, unstable, and close to the Sun! I'm building my own place in Deep Space away from it and all that damaging solar radiation."

Sentinel Earth-watching sat delivers first snaps

Captain DaFt

A personal observation

Whe anyone asks why we should risk sending humans to space, just contrast these pictures with these.

One set shows data, the other set, wonders.

And those're from a tin can skimming just above the atmosphere!

Beep, beep – it's our 2016 buzzword detector. We see you, 'complexity'

Captain DaFt

Re: You What?

-My all-time top favourite:

"synergy"-

Mine is still the classic - paradigm

It was honest. When someone used it, you knew they expected 20 cents for their 2 cents worth.

Regular Fast Radio Burst detected outside our galaxy

Captain DaFt

Re: It's how heavy?

"They should just lift up one corner and estimate the weight.

It'll be close enough."

But if they do that, they'll discover that all the "missing mass" is just dust that was swept under it! :)

Hardcoded god-mode code found in RSA 2016 badge-scanning app

Captain DaFt

Re: We have to stop thinking these things are accidents

"Really, why does anyone think this is not on purpose?"

Simple, people are prone to doing idiotic things.

Paradoxically, the brighter the person, the more idiotic the gaffe they make.

Hillary Clinton private email server probe winding up – reports

Captain DaFt

Re: Pardon?

"What are the odds that as one of his last acts in office, Obama will hand Mrs Clinton a presidential pardon?"

Too hot a potato for the Dems.

The way this ball is usually danced in the inner loop, the Rep that takes office will graciously make a "mending fences, building bridges" speech, and the whole thing will blow over... until the next election.

McDonald's Sweden adds fries to VR

Captain DaFt

Nope!

Just for the record, there's no way in hell I'm letting this anywhere near my face!

NASA funds new supersonic airliner research

Captain DaFt

I hate to be a spoilsport

But why bother punching your way through dense atmosphere halfway around the world, when you could launch to near space, ride above the atmosphere until ready to re-enter and land at the destination?

Faster, quieter, more fuel efficient, plus the passengers get to say, "I've been in Spaaacce!", what's not to like?

Phew! No evidence found for global criminal hacker conspiracy

Captain DaFt

Yep, no evidence since the 5-eyes don't count themselves as hackers.

Windows 10 claimed another point of desktop share in February

Captain DaFt

Wouldn't beer work better with bar charts?

Captain DaFt

Re: 1% rise is a jump?

"1% is about half the total number of users of all versions of Linux combined,"

Hmm, Sez here that Linux use is 5.6% as of last month, putting it ahead of Chrome OS, WinXP, and Vista combined, by more than 2X. It's even a bit higher than all mobile OSs combined. (5.2%)

Thanks for the help Microsoft, keep on pushing!

Captain DaFt

Re: Forced upgrades distort stats

"If somebody asks you if you want some free cake then it's not forced cake. You don't have to take it. "

But if they keep knocking on your door everyday asking,"Now?", and leaving one on your doorstep in a FedEx box, or sticking it in your mailbox in a UPS box daily when you're not looking, labeling it, "Open Now, Important!".

Would that count as forced cake? If not, it'd at least be a major PITA.

ISS 'nauts wrap 'historic' 340-day mission

Captain DaFt

Re: Really?

"Backing away at about 1/10th of a metre per second, which will continue until they are about 50 feet away from the ISS"

"Couldn't have gone with 4 inches/s, or 15m away?"

Aw, what could go wrong? It's not like they were aiming at Mars this time. :)

We survived a five-hour butt-numbing Congress hearing on FBI-Apple ... so you don't have to

Captain DaFt

Re: Is Napalm the only answer?

"but Trump in the White House blurting would be too much even for the arselickin' British."

Never underestimate the masochism of Parliament. They have a class of officers designated as Whips, after all. :)

Microsoft gets into the advanced intrusion sniffer game – but only for Windows 10

Captain DaFt

Well color me surprised

" It'll only be available for Windows 10 users and will be turned off by default and activated on a subscription fee basis"

I never suspected Microsoft'd be rolling out a "Subscription fee for essential services" model for Windows 10.

Whoever could have saw that one coming?

(Eye rolling intensifies)

NSA boss reveals top 3 security nightmares that keep him awake at night

Captain DaFt

One more thing to keep him awake at night

The things that the paranoid worry others are doing usually turn out to be the things that they themselves are doing, and are afraid of being caught at.

Donald Trump promises 'such trouble' for Jeff Bezos and Amazon

Captain DaFt

Re: May I ask Americans a few questions?

-The damning thing about voters' options anywhere is that the "options" have to be viable, n'est-ce pas? BTW, I don't think my vote is ever "wasted."-

And the options never will be viable, as long as people keep voting for a "winner", rather than voting for change, no?

Democrats and Republicans: "Cheers! Business as usual! >clink<"

Captain DaFt

May I ask Americans a few questions?

How many of you can name just one of the more than 40 3rd party candidates in this election?

What their parties are?

What their platforms are?

Have you seen or heard of any of them on the news at all?

No?

Then Trump has done a damn fine job as this election's gonzo candidate tying up the media with his antics so that no one even so much as glimpses away from the rep/dem theatre to see if anything else might be out there that would be more palatable.

So Americans get to waste their vote yet again this November on one of two candidates whose whole purpose is to maintain the status quo in Washington without even realising that options exist.

Bravo Trump, Kudos to you and that caterpillar on your head for a job well done.

Google robo-car backs into bendy-bus in California

Captain DaFt

Re: No, just a failure of machine thinking.

But I find it interesting that the test operator didn't override because he and the machine reached the exact same conclusion:

"Bigger, faster vehicle will obviously let smaller, slower vehicle pull in front." (I wouldn't bet my skin on that!)

Possibly a bit of Google bias (Me Important!) slipping through the programming?

SCO vs. IBM looks like it's over for good

Captain DaFt

Re: Calling all makers...

"wooden stakes infused with essence of pure garlic, with a nice fat core of unadulterated Kryptonite:"

I think this might call for the ancient troll remedy of cold iron, possibly with the pragmatic addition of hot lead. :)

Captain DaFt

Re: unless .....

"IBM could just ask for SCO as payment for the hassle.

And then tear it into tiny little pieces in front of Darl."

Aw, they could do better than that.

SCO toilet paper, each square printed as a replica SCO Stock certificate.

If they make it two ply, I'd buy it!

Intravenous hangover clinics don't work, could land you in hospital

Captain DaFt

Re: "amps up the immune system and detoxifies the liver”,

"detoxifies"

That's all you need to read to know that it is either worthless, dangerous, or both.

The body is well set up to detoxify itself (or none of us would be alive right now) in all but extreme circumstances, and then, you'd better be under a doctor's care, since the cure is usually nearly as dangerous as the condition.

Samsung off the hook as $120m Apple patent verdict tossed

Captain DaFt

Geez!

Samsung get a few dozen million this time, Apple got a few dozen million last time.

The lawsuits, counter-lawsuits and appeals continue with sums being swapped that are a pittance to either company.

And when the dust finally settles down, neither gains anything but willy-waving, and the sums earned are a fraction of what they paid their lawyers.

Seems like there could have been something more productive they could be doing with all that time and money, no?

Competition? No way! AT&T says it will sue to keep Google Fiber out of Louisville, Kentucky

Captain DaFt

Hey, AT&T!

The demand's been there for years, the fiber's been there for years, and you've done sweet F-all.

And now that someone else is willing to use the fiber to meet the demand, you're squealing, "No fair!"?

Go play leapfrog with a unicorn already!

Humans – 1 Robots – 0: Mercedes deautomates production lines

Captain DaFt

I heard a rumor

That the real reason was they found out the robots were building robots instead of cars when nobody was looking.

>walks away whistling the X-files theme<

Awoogah – brown alert: OpenSSL preps 'high severity' security fixes

Captain DaFt

Re: Oops!

"Many eyes, all rubbish at spotting security vulnerabilities."

Actually, as shown here, it works quite well, when someone does look.

Probably one of the happier fallouts of the whole NSA/Snowden affair, instead of just passively assuming that someone's looking, more are actually getting into the code looking.

(Now, what do you say about closed source software, where you can't look, and there's TLA pressure to put backdoors in?)

US Congressman calls WIPO 'the FIFA of UN agencies' at hearing

Captain DaFt

Trump - an epiphany

Self assured, quick to bully, a fountain of ignorance with the unshakable conviction that he is always right...

Y'know what? Trump is the twentyfirst century version of Moe Howard, he even has similar tastes in hair styling.

(disclaimer: The above link is not the latest Republican debate, despite the similarity.)

Carolina cop cuffed for 'carjacking'

Captain DaFt

You can't escape the long arm of the law...

That hand on my collar... You did wash it, I hope?

Prison butt dialler finally off-hold after 12-day anal retention marathon

Captain DaFt

"Any details about the phone model?"

<joke> It was a Kin. He volunteered for solitary to get away from the taunting. </joke>

IT boss gets 30 months of porridge for trashing ex-employer's servers

Captain DaFt

Dumb git cubed

Dumb for doing it, dumb for the way he did it, and dumb for bragging about it.

Must have really wanted to spend time in Club Fed.

Apple fans take iPhone unlock protest to FBI HQ

Captain DaFt

"get at least some of the members of the legislature thinking."

Yeah, "Which side of this debate will keep me office?"

I've never known evidence that politicians think anything else.

Plane food sees pilot grounded by explosive undercarriage

Captain DaFt

Re: Is there anyone on board that can fly a plane?

Yarr, matey! I be bringing this fine vessel to safe harbour, no problem!

... What be that? You said "pilot", not "pirate"?

Yarr, we be scuppered!

NASA boffin wants FRIKKIN LASERS to propel lightsails

Captain DaFt

Re: "photons may lack mass"

"No, they do not. Light has mass."

Obligatory: "Geez, I didn't know Light was Catholic!"

Captain DaFt

- "DBD" works for me... -

Uh... nope! Doesn't work for me.

Captain DaFt

Re: Starwisps

"You detach the outer part of the sail and use it to reflect the beam back to the remainder of the sail."

How exactly would that work?

The outer part would still be a solar sail, thus you'd still be accelerated, and the remainder of the sail wouldn't even cancel out that acceleration, let alone over all acceleration, since the light it'd be receiving would have already lost energy to the outer part.

In other words, wouldn't you still be accelerating, just slower with that setup?

NASA's Orion: 100,000 parts riding 8 million pounds of thrust

Captain DaFt

Three monitors, four astronauts

Well hopefully they'll be working on staggered shifts to keep it going 24/7.

So on 'naut sleeping, one off duty (and playing asteroids), one on the last half of his/her shift manning one monitor and one on the first half of his/her shift manning the third.

That seems to work out about right.

Bill Gates denies iPhone crack demand would set precedent

Captain DaFt

Re: It doesn't matter...

"The reality is that unlocking the phone of a criminal/murder is mandatory and appropriate."

True that... But in this case the phone belongs to a third party, that did give permission and voluntarily turned over the password they had (The suspect's employer turned over the phone's iCloud password).

Then the FBI changed the phone's password so it could no longer sync to its backup, and locked up any data more recent than the last update in the phone.

And now they want Apple to unfix the fix the FBI themselves used to lock the data away from themselves so that Apple'd have to fix it.

Does look a trifle odd, eh?

Captain DaFt

Re: What about the password reset?

That's very interesting, isn't it? The FBI had the phone and only had to ask the owner, San Bernardino County, for the password to its backed up data.

They did, and got access to to the phone's iCloud backup, what could be easier?

Buuuut, the phone may have data that was entered after the last backup... no prob, update the backup.

Buuuut, they can't do that, since the FBI very cleverly changed the backup password first, and now the phone can't sync with it's stored data... Smooth move Exlax!

So now they insist that Apple give them a gateway into the phone's data that they locked themselves out of.

And the $64,000 question is; Is the FBI actually that incompetent that they locked themselves out of the data they wanted and need help getting it (highly probable), or are they acting for some TLA that wants Apple to build a way to get into secured iPhones in the future without pestering the court system (also highly probable)?

Captain DaFt

Re: Are you a constitutional lawyer then Bill?

Oh dear, apparently neither Billy boy's parents nor his nanny ever passed on the following folk wisdom when he was a wee lad:

"Do a job once, and they'll want you to do it again. Do a job twice, and it's yours forever!"

Black Monday: Office 365 down and out in Europe

Captain DaFt

Re: Don't worry

"five nines is just a recommended uptime level."

MS: "Huh? Oops! We thought it was nine fives!"

US DoJ files motion to compel Apple to obey FBI iPhone crack order

Captain DaFt

Latest twist:

Apple says it's to late to try to crack it because the password was changed while the phone was in police custody:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/johnpaczkowski/apple-terrorists-appleid-passcode-changed-in-government-cust#.uq37VNX4v

Solution to tech bros' disgust of SF homeless people launched

Captain DaFt

"someone looking homeless can strip them of their Rolex, iWhatsits, Credit cards etc. and they won't even see who did it."

"Can you give me a description of the muggers, sir?"

"Why yes, one was a charming wrought iron Victorian lamp post, and the other was a terracotta planter full of begonias."