* Posts by Captain DaFt

3821 publicly visible posts • joined 16 Jun 2007

One black hole, three galaxies, four BEELION solar masses – found by accident

Captain DaFt

Re: High school stuff

You: "F=(m1*v^2)/r. This force is the gravitational pull by the black hole with mass m2, with F=G*(m1*m2)/r^2. Colliding these equations to eliminate m1 (the mass of the gas) you'll be left with v^2=G*m2/r, or m2=(r*v^2)/G."

Me: >gurgle< >thud<

Captain DaFt

Re: gender

Nah, a bofinette is what you use to snare boffins. :)

Captain DaFt

Re: Simple question

"black holes must eject their matter, being one such consequences."

Current theory says they do. Look up "Hawking Radiation".

Captain DaFt

Re: Simple question

"Why one universe?"

Simple answer: It's all we can know given current knowledge.

Even if our universe had a detectable edge, any type of probe we sent beyond it would by definition be a part of our universe, and would still only relay back data about our universe.

Captain DaFt

Re: solar masses?

" it suggests the need for a few prefixes beyond yotta,"

Yotta - denoting a factor of 10^24 or 1 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000.

I propose "Hella", 10^25 or 1 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000 000.

Anyone care to go higher?

Getty on Google: It’s all about traffic, duh

Captain DaFt

Re: Re I don't get it?

"that for Company "B" needs Company "A" to exist, to be even seen."

Actually, if Getty had good stock that couldn't be found elsewhere on the web, they could use robot.txt and word of mouth would lead people to them.

They want their cake and eat it too.

Free advertising for their paid content from Google without reciprocation.

On the other hand, Google wants free use of Getty's paid content without reciprocation.

Neither comes across as a saint here.

Captain DaFt

Re: Getty "has 60 million images"

"Is that all?

I think my selfie-enthusiast, food-tographer wife has at least twice that..."

I know of at least one of my friends with a toddler could easily double that.

relevant comic

Gone

Captain DaFt

Is the world (yet) ready for hybrid cloud?

If you rephrase the question as, "Is the World ready for on site servers with off site fail overs.", I think that was answered years ago.

E-cigarettes help save lives, says Royal College of Physicians

Captain DaFt

Re: A report based on evidence instead of prejudice ?

And now, a ray of sunshine, illuminating where people'd rather not look.

If you're one of the 2% with lucky genes, you'll cruise through life fairly comfortably, barring accidents, to 90+ years, then drop dead overnight simply because your body says, "Game Over".

About 15% will make it to 70+, with gradually increasing health problems, until your heart quits, cancer or your doctor* kills you.

About 35% to 40% will make it to 70+ but will have started slipping into senescence somewhere from 40 to 60 years of age and require constant care for their final years**.

About 25% will die anywhere from birth on due to accident, war, murder, or some other traumatic event.

The remaining will die from diseases ranging from Ebola to measles.***

Everybody dies, everybody suffers at some point in their life, and generally, the better you take care of yourself now, the longer you wind up suffering later.

So chill, enjoy your family and friends while you can, help out others when they need help, and enjoy your life while you can.

*Deaths by medical mistakes are the third leading cause of Death in America, and gaining.

** The percentage of people suffering senescence is uncertain, but it's generally acknowledged that the rate is increasing alarmingly.

*** Since this is about mortality, I've omitted the bit about how many go through all or part of their life suffering and needing constant care due to accident, disease, or bad genes.

Samsung's little black box will hot-wire your car to the internet. Eek!

Captain DaFt

Re: Similar to a "connected toaster"

"No, a toaster does NOT need to be "connected". Go away!"

Oh! For the good old days when that concept was laughable!

Captain DaFt

Re: DriveWiz

"If you ask me, they really seem to be scraping the bottom of the barrel looking for reasons for this product to even exist."

Oh, they have a very good reason for this product to exist, more detailed monitoring of you by the corporations and the state.

The hard part is coming up with a reason why in seven Hells would you voluntarily want it.

Have to keep up that illusion of 'free choice' for at least a while longer, don'cha know.

German prof scores €2.4m EU grant to crack software on your bicycle

Captain DaFt

Re: bollocks

"Mandating open software of open interfaces is not necessary if the law ensures the manufacturer cannot pull a fast one."

But the manufacturer is always ahead of the game, much like malware writers.

Plug one hole and they immediately jump through another.

The unfortunate result is that the one that took the short cut 'fast ones' to the top makes the easy bucks, and anyone else wishing to follow is snarled to near immobility in the maze of regulations that were enacted in its wake.

Hewlett Packard Enterprise: Wanna walk the plank voluntarily? You got it

Captain DaFt

Updated A HPE spokesman sent us this statement:

"Blah blah blah blah, buzzword boilerplate."

Microsoft fingered for Western Euro PC tragedy

Captain DaFt

Re: Microsoft

"Is MS a centipede? Or a millipede? They keep shooting themselves in the foot. How many feet do they have left?"

They just have the normal number of two feet.

After they shoot one, they just replace it. Clay is cheap.

Redback sinks fangs into Oz builder's todger

Captain DaFt

Re: IT?

"IT?

IT?"

Yes?

Hubble spots ice moon orbiting dwarf planet Makemake

Captain DaFt

-If it's pronounced but not written, that should make it a ghost "r".-

So Makemake is inhabited by pirate ghosts?

Honestly though, Twitter can't do anything right

Captain DaFt

"so users can expect an onslaught of promotional video advertising."

More annoying ads shoved in your face when you're using a service is always the answer when a trend slows.

That's sooooo going to help the bottom line! >rolls eyes<

Dropbox desktop blur

Captain DaFt

Arrgghh! My ears!

Two seconds into that video, I'm stabbing the stop button.

Couldn't they have found a narrator that didn't sound like a chain-smoking adult Alvin the chipmunk?

It's World IP Day! Celebrate by making money from a dead teenager

Captain DaFt

Re: Amazing wht they will do to protect "The Rat" (¬ C 2016 John Smith 19 )

"Yes I think people should be able to make a living by thinking cleverly.

Not their great-great-great-great-great-whatever grandchildren."

Most of the time, those 'kids' get nothing, or one of them gets a one time payoff.

The ones making the money of a creatives persons work for generations to come is usually a corporation that bought, stole, or swindled the rights to said work.

Colander-wearing Irishman denied driver's licence in Pastafarian slapdown

Captain DaFt

"If people want to take FSM as a serious religion then that's fine by me, but they should be serious in doing so."

Nope. No 'serious' pastafinarian takes anything seriously.

Good enough IT really is good enough. You don't need new hardware

Captain DaFt

Re: It's all about balance...

" drop the old kit on a marketer."

"From the 6th floor BOFH style?"

I'd recommend the fourth floor. High enough to do damage, but not high enough to make aiming tricky. You wouldn't want risk missing the market critter, would you?

Tokyo rebrands 2020 Olympics

Captain DaFt

Star Wars and Homer

"The paralympic one is even missing a section of the roof. Elegantly Japan!"

My first reaction on seeing the paralympic one was, "That's no moon!"

(my reaction to the Olympic one? "Mmm, donuts!")

El Reg Quid-A-Day Nosh Posse spared chickpea ordeal

Captain DaFt

"The wedding is more problematic. There is no known solution to this problem, short of selling the rights to Hello Magazine."

Simplest solution, sell the wedding to some studio as a reality show (My Wacky English Wedding might work as a concept title), and let the studio foot the bill.

Extra bonuses: The studio will plan(script) the entire wedding, so no hassles for the bride, no need to hire a photographer for wedding snaps, and the wrap party can double as the wedding reception and a tax writeoff!

If Android’s wings are clipped, other Google platforms may gain

Captain DaFt

Wait, wait a minute...

Governments trying to gather data on citizens because "terrorists", a major company specializing in data gathering getting out of government control because of its myriad branches...

I think I saw that documentary!

Hail Hy... er, Alphabet!

Will Comcast's set-box killer murder your data caps? The truth revealed

Captain DaFt

Re: why is it not an internet service?

"if the data originates on and stays on their own internal network"

Aheh, aheh, ah-HAHAHAHA HAAA!

Nothing online is truly secure, or truly isolated.

Now taking bets on how long after this goes live until someone hacks it for unlimited internet access.

(And when they do, a friend of mine already has the popcorn concession for the fireworks.)

FBI spies on how many?

Captain DaFt

Re: Pick a number...

Guaranteed to be less than 8 billion... there aren't that many people yet.

The web is DOOM'd: Average page now as big as id's DOS classic

Captain DaFt

Re: Mobile

" I have MCSE certification and DevOps qualifications and know about these things."

I once suffered severe head trauma and developed DevOps qualifications, but fortunately, I recovered fully.

Otherwise, I might have been MCSE certified.

(Eh, sorry, that just popped into my head... maybe suffering a relapse?)

Captain DaFt

Re: And...

Nah, nah, to get god mode on the web you need script monkey and a good ad blocker.

Ten years in the clink, file-sharing monsters! (If UK govt gets its way)

Captain DaFt

Re: Actually, no

So you're saying file sharers should hold off from switching hobbies to rape and murder to get more lenient sentencing for the time being?

Facebook: 1m Tor users

Captain DaFt

Re: Using Tor to access Facebook?!

Obviously used by the same type that orders a mega sized heart stopper combo with extra bacon and cheese, with a diet coke. :)

Embattled 123-reg flings six months' free hosting at angry customers

Captain DaFt

Re: "this is something we take extremely seriously"

"Unfortunately this argument rarely sways beancounters unless something tragic happens to the Finance server in the fortnight before the final budget meeting..."

I smell a BOFH script!

Blighty ranks 38th in World Press Freedom Index

Captain DaFt

Never heard of Eritrea before

And here it's only mentioned as the worst of the worst that so far, is still worse than the US and UK.

Interesting. So now they have to pad out the bottom of the list to keep those bastions of democracy from looking like they're too far down the list?

'Impossible' EmDrive flying saucer thruster may herald new theory of inertia

Captain DaFt

"Until the reasons why the technology works are figured out, I'll go along with "magic" for now."

Hm, your proposal has merit. On examination:

a. This uses energy in a cone to produce a kinetic effect.

b. Unicorns control magic with their conical horns to produce a kinetic effect.

c. Therefore this is magic, QED!

Captain DaFt

Re: I think _I_ can explain it (and it's not that hard)

"I think _I_ can explain it (and it's not that hard)"

I go with a simpler theory.

It's actually remaining stationary and moving the universe around it!

(What? Nobody remembers Futurama?)

Microsoft headhunters seek Linux folk for secret open source unit

Captain DaFt

"Look on the bright side - it'll mean an end to Windows BSODs and monthly Tuesday updates that bork the OS."

Ah, padawan, you have much more faith in the robustness of Linux.

But the bork is very strong in Redmond, do not underestimate it.

Big Cable threatens to sue FCC: You can't stop us ripping off customers

Captain DaFt

Re: It can be done

" If cable is wondering how it got to this they only have to look at the way they have screwed their customers with increasing gusto over the last 20 years or so."

And the irony is, the cable providers would actually benefit in the long run from the proposed FCC regs, but they'd rather slit their own throats to maintain those oh so hefty fees and next quarter profits. They want to keep standing still, while the world races past them.

Oh well, they can always fall back on selling buggy whips to the carriage makers.

Utah declares 'war on smut'

Captain DaFt

Hey Utah!

I've got the perfect slogan for your new bill:

"Get our perverts off the internet

and back out on the street where they belong!"

>Ahem<

Now that that's off my chest, a bit of (possibly poorly remembered) history:

Way back in the days of my halcyon youth, IE 1980s, when I haunted the school library, I read an article about a new program in England.

It seems that even further back in the day, there'd been a big push to get television in homes to get the youth, IE young males, out of pool halls and back home with their families where they belonged.

The new (1980s) push was to start new pool halls in neighborhoods to get the youth, IE young males, weaned off television and out of the house to socialise more.

Buut, the internet happened, and oh well...

My twisted take on this?

In a few years, Utah will be spending billions and legislating to get the "perverts" off the streets, where they're "corrupting" "honest youth".

Captain DaFt

Re: "War on Smut"

"Hopefully some politico will soon issue a War On Common Sense. We need more of it and that seems like a surefire way."

"Unfortunately you'd have to find it first, which may well be the tricky part..."

How did something so uncommon get named common sense, anyway?

Sneaky Google KOs 'right to be forgotten' from search results

Captain DaFt

Re: Syntax

"I had friends on completely different machines in a separate geographical location repeat the Google query. And they had the same result."

And then, after this article goes online, people try it and get wildly varying results... How fast does that Google algorithm adapt?

Windy Wanaka wallops NASA's Super Pressure Balloon launch

Captain DaFt

Re: but Monday's aborted launch must have been intensely frustrating

"Start with a large box and a laser pointer."

Even easier, just set the box in a room the cat aren't in, then say loudly, "Damn cats better keep the hell away from this box!".

Then exit room, close door, count to three, re-enter room.

Some-freakin'-how, the cats are all in the box.

Gartner's broken out its crystal ball again. Huawei's object storage bods won't be happy

Captain DaFt

That crystal ball of theirs

Judging by their past accuracy, that ball doesn't by any chance have three holes in it and the name "Brunswick" engraved on it by any chance?

Belgian boffins breed 'digital canaries' to test your random numbers

Captain DaFt

Re: I call dibs

OK, but only if you make the alert message, "I tawt I taw a putty tat!"

What's wrong with the Daily Mail Group buying Yahoo?

Captain DaFt

Re: You know...

"Someone must be reading it....."

Hipsters, ironically, of course. :)

Captain DaFt

Re: Yahoo

"Anyone else?"

If I get 10 spam a week in Yahoo mail, I consider that heavy.

Normally 5 or less a week.

But then, the Yahoo mail is my throwaway address for websites like this one, with no contacts in the account.

Captain DaFt

The AOL Time Warner merger

Um, if you look back, it was AOL that bought Time Warner.

Beautiful move on AOL's management's part.

They took bubble billions and bought something with some real worth, consolidated management, then when the bubble burst, AOL-TW took a big hit in profits short term, but survivable.

AOL alone would have died.

All that was left was to jettison the 'Acquiring' AOL, name and all, then retain their management positions in Time Warner.

Sheer, evil, genius.

How much faster is a quantum computer than your laptop?

Captain DaFt

"How much faster is a quantum computer than your laptop?"

Hard to tell. Measuring it keeps changing the results, but the real bugger is that it's never where I left it after I measure it. :/

Furious customers tear into 123-reg after firm's mass deletion woes

Captain DaFt

"For some reason I thought of Stewart Lee's delivery on reading that, not the redoubtable Mr. Presley."

I read it with John Cleese's voice as Basil Fawlty. Much more hilarious.

Obama to admit Moon landing was faked?

Captain DaFt

Re: You do have a lot of fun there at the Reg don't you. ( ゚∀゚)っ由

"BTW, when people ask "me" if the moon landing was "real" or "faked" "

I always say, "Of course it was faked, any fule can see it was shot in a studio at their secret base on Mars."

That usually shoo off the tin foilers.

Telsa S robo-death-dodge

Captain DaFt

Butt clencher for the driver

I noticed the "Oh Shit!", was that for the truck, the car unexpectedly swerving, or both?

Facebook's big trouble in its little world domination plan: China

Captain DaFt

Re: Sounds familiar?

"So *exactly* like the UK and US then?"

Well not exactly. China is upfront and honest, "We don't trust you lot, and are watching you."

UK and US, "WE respect your rights and freedoms... But Terrorists! and Pedos! are threatening you! We must be vigilante and monitor Everybody for your own good!"