Posts by Captain DaFt

Re: We identified a bug affecting a small number of users

Yes, it's always "a small number" isn't it? Even if it's a corp's entire user base of over a billion, it's still "a small number" compared to astronomical terms, isn't it?

Re: “The Web of Things was coined in 2007 by a couple of researchers and myself,”

"It's 'a couple researchers and me' or ' I and a couple researchers coined...'"

Rebuttal: "Me genius that make web of things thing. Not need know good words grammar."

Re: Ca fait mal

"Protip: If you haven't any morals and want to make money at computer crime, look for a successful business model and copy it. Ransomware seems to work well."

Nah, nah, go for banking. Then when you royally fuck up and get caught out, the Government'll pay you to keep doing it!

Here's an idea, PETA, write your own damn game

Good idea.

They could base it on their "animal shelters", and show exactly how fast they gas animals in their care.

https://duckduckgo.com/?q=peta+animal+shelter+scandal&ia=web

More like: PETA: People Exterminating Terrified Animals

I just couldn't resist!

"A saboteur, eh?"

Wooden shoe like to know?

>dives out window<

"If the ads are genuinely non-intrusive and no malware gets through, then maybe."

And when (not if) malware gets through, this could bite them in the arse, since it makes AB+ the target to sue.

Re: No lazy stereotyping?

"Not a lot, mind - all it takes is just a little bit more than your PHB knows."

So:

A. The monitor has an on/off switch, and is not the computer.

B. The big box under it, or under the desk, has an on/off switch, and is not a hard drive.

C. These two need to have a cable connecting them, plus each needs to be plugged into a power outlet, and both need to be switched on for proper operation.

D. If the computer is not connected to the network, either by WiFi or a cable, Facebook and linkedIn will not be available.

E. The wireless mouse and keyboard both need to be on if you want to use the computer.

a.Yes, they both have off/on switches.

b. They both also need batteries.

If the PHB uses a laptop, substitute these for A through C above:

A. It didn't update to Win10 again, did it?

B. Is it on?

Yes, that's different from standby or hibernating.

Yes, it will hibernate by itself if you leave it alone long enough.

C. When was the last time it was plugged in to recharge?

The above covers about 90% of the problems the PHB has encountered.

"Is our internet provider up?, and, "were they paid last month?" handles about another 9.9%

Did I leave anything out? ☺

Re: Keeping food warm in the air

"But next time I'd go to the food truck and get one much more quickly."

Yeah, and that could be even more convenient!

Didn't one of Trump's supporters promise us that, if Hillary was elected, there'd be a taco truck on every corner?*

They usually sell burritos too!

*Why, yes, he did!

Re: iPhone7 - pay more, get less

"By the way, when is the iPhone 8 coming out. I want one. NOW!"

Details about the iPhone 8 are already leaking*.

*"Leaking", as in "taking the piss".☺

Chess?

Pah! Real men play Jarts™!

A virtual beer to anyone that gets the obscure reference.

Re: It is all wishful thinking

"Yeah, it looks like we pretty much know how the universe works at the lowest levels."

Hubris much?

The same thing was said in Victorian times, the Renaissance, and in Ancient Greece, Egypt and Sumeria.

Yet we still keep saying, "This is odd...", and finding something novel to us.

" but if somebody sold me a 'fridge that had a capability to connect to the Internet, I wouldn't connect it to the Internet. Nor to any network."

But what do you do if it "helpfully" auto logs on to any available WiFi connection it can detect?

You might have yours locked down, but Fred across the street will be wondering who keeps sending him those "Need more cheese and beer" messages.

Re: Perfect present for the missus....

You must have a very comfy sofa!

Re: Here's a novel idea

Better idea.

<Angel Face> Simply state that Apple has gone quiet and quote their response when contacted by El Reg.

Then fill out the article with a "Best of Apple" reprint, selected from the ones mentioned in article.

Close article by wishing Apple the best, and hoping that they have some announcements to share in the future.</Angel Face>

Re: Where's the Trickle Down?

-I looked "everywhere" and after a few months finally bought a new one. The next day I found my lost camera......-

Known in paranormal circles as, "a sacrifice to The Lord of Hidden Objects, AKA Picabu*."

*Not to be confused with a Pokemon of similar name.

Re: Oh good grief

"I would really like to see the stuff they reject (if any), because that must be pretty dire not to pass."

Worse than you think. A microsoft employee once slipped a patent for an apple tree into the patents MS sent to the USPO. It was granted.

(Latter withdrawn, only after the Public Patent Foundation publicised it.)

"I wonder what they will call it, supercalifragilistic speed USB?"

Ludicrous speed USB. The cables will be plaid.

I was gobsmacked to discover that Amanfrommars Writes for them!

(Slightly NSFW)

Re: Hmm...

El Reg has a stateside office.

So apply for FAA's Rule 107 exemption to launch LOHAN as an ad for El Reg, and... Profit?

Re: Pronounced...?

OK, I watched the video.

What I saw was was a very over long and complicated version of the old "You Are Here" stationary maps that dot most Malls and Airports.

(Plus the little annoyances look like they were designed specifically to be kicked right under the chest plate for maximum distance.)

Re: cant see much

"It was obviously an ISIS sniper trained in rocketry by North Korea and smuggled near the facility by the molepeople firing a prototype rifle provided by aliens!"

I knew it! That's exactly the sort of claim a lizard person would make to cover his tracks!

[Dons Q metal cap to reinforce the aluminium one]

Re: As long as

Just ship'em with no OS, or FreeDos if they insist on something, and let me install WIN7, Linux, BSD, Basic OS, Haiku, whatever the hell I feel like.

Just sell me damn computer, I'll supply my own headaches, thank you very much!

Re: Dear FBI

"How about setting up a "safe area" for the dear FBI Director wherein he can navel-gaze in peace and pursue the self-indulgent logic of "anything goes, because I'm the good guy"?"

Well, there are already many state sponsored sanitariums set up for just such a purpose, but alas, they are woefully underfunded. So the psychiatric profession is not a diligent as it should be.

Maybe if we diverted some of the spook funding to them instead?

Re: AT&T hasn't even tried

This one's more to the point: https://youtu.be/CHgUN_95UAw

Re: Is this really an issue ?

"Climbing up to the ceiling to replace a light is not inconspicuous,"

Someone dressed like a janitor comes in, says he needs to do PM(preventive maintenance) on the light fixtures.

Do you do more than give an annoyed grunt and carry on what you're doing?

"How broken can it actually be if it's been around since 1946 in its current form?"

Well for everyday uses, like commercial electronics and bog standard electrical engineering, it works just fine.

It's when the physicists get down to nano and particle physics experiments, the current system is a bit too loose for accuracy.

"This just further tells me that MS's left hand hasn't a clue what the right hand is doing"

It's really just a matter of determining whether it's aiming for the left foot or the right foot this time.

Re: Deja Vu

"On 13 December 1958, a Jupiter IRBM, AM-13, was launched from Cape Canaveral, Florida, with a United States Navy-trained South American squirrel monkey named Gordo on board. ... The nose cone sank 1,302 nautical miles (2,411 km) downrange from Cape Canaveral and was not recovered."

Hence the origin of seamonkeys?

Re: So?

"except Linux is much more successful than Unix."

And the reason? Because all the Unix vendors were perpetually engaged at throwing sueballs at one another. By the time it was sorted out (and probably the reason it was), Linux had taken its place in most of the market.

Point scored for Linus there.

Did you try "elgooG"?