Posts by Captain DaFt

Re: "Have some sympathy for the AT&T devil"

"Maybe no one in your offshoot cared about the customer, but many other parts do."

[citation needed]

Re: How does this work?

"In the videos I see what looks like a flame travelling from right to left."

I figure it's because of the decaying orbit.

Since the module is decelerating, the heavier, cooler air gets 'forced' to the front, pushing the lighter, hot gasses to the rear.

Just a guess.

Re: Beware cheap combo locks

A rather nice hack for those cheap keypads is to put two buttons in serial.

Example:

Combination 1-2-3-4*, 4 and 7 wired in series,

becomes 1-2-3-[4&7 pressed simultaneously].

Nobody expects pressing two buttons at the same time!

*Yes, yes, you have the same combination on your luggage.

"Orbital mechanics is a particularly nasty branch of math"

Oof! No kidding. Just a simple one-tangent transfer orbit formula set as an example:

Calculate the eccentricity of the transfer orbit:

et = pt(DU) / r1(DU) - 1 (for an outbound transfer)

et = 1 - pt(DU) / r2(DU) (for an inbound transfer)

Calculate the semi-major axis of the transfer orbit:

at(DU) = r1(DU) / (1 - et) (for an outbound transfer)

at(DU) = r2(DU) / (1 + et) (for an inbound transfer)

Calculate the spacecraft's initial velocity (which is the same as the orbital velocity of its initial orbit):

vorb1(DU/TU) = Sqrt[mu(DU^3/TU^2) / r1(DU)]

Calculate the velocity of the transfer orbit at insertion:

v1(DU/TU) = Sqrt[mu(DU^3/TU^2) * (2 / r1(DU) - 1 / at(DU))]

Calculate the insertion burn:

DeltaV1(DU/TU) = v1(DU/TU) - vorb1(DU/TU)

Calculate the orbital velocity of the destination orbit:

vorb2(DU/TU) = Sqrt[mu(DU^3/TU^2) / r2(DU)]

Calculate the velocity of the transfer orbit at the destination:

v2(DU/TU) = Sqrt[mu(DU^3/TU^2) * (2 / r2(DU) - 1 / at(DU))]

Calculate the arrival burn:

DeltaV2(DU/TU)^2 = v2(DU/TU)^2 + vorb2(DU/TU)^2 - 2 * vorb2(DU/TU) * Sqrt[mu(DU^3/TU^2) *pt(DU)] / r2(DU)

Calculate the total DeltaV required for the transfer:

DeltaV(DU/TU) = DeltaV1(DU/TU) + DeltaV2(DU/TU)

Calculate the true anomaly at the interception point:

Cos[nu2(radians)] = (pt(DU) / r2(DU) - 1) / et (for an outbound transfer)

Cos[nu2(radians)] = (pt(DU) / r1(DU) - 1) / et (for an inbound transfer)

Calculate the eccentric anomaly at the interception point:

E(radians) = ArcCos[(et + Cos[nu(radians)]) / (1 + et * Cos[nu(radians)])] (for an outbound transfer)

E(radians) = 2 * pi - ArcCos[(et + Cos[nu(radians)]) / (1 + et * Cos[nu(radians)])] (for an inbound transfer)

Calculate the time required for the transfer:

TOF(TU) = Sqrt[at(DU)^3 / mu(DU^3/TU^2)] * (E(radians) - et * Sin[E(radians)]) (for an outbound transfer)

TOF(TU) = Sqrt[at(DU)^3 / mu(DU^3/TU^2)] * (E(radians) - et * Sin[E(radians)] - pi) (for an inbound transfer)

And yet... Toss a frisbee and your dog takes off after it, jumps and catches it perfectly, his brain doing essentially the same formula.

And this from an animal that can barely be taught to count to three!

Re: How often does it...

"It pre-caches all of the Google based ads during quiet times."

Dah-yum! How many yottabytes of storage does that little box have?

Re: A mission statement is NOT a plan

"Who's going to write the code for this AI?"

Self modifying code, no humans needed.

Of course, two months after the last human is eliminated, the whole system goes quiet...

Except in a small, heavily fortified room some where, a terminal continually beeps with this message on the screen:

An unexpected error has occurred.

Press 'Enter' to continue,

any other key to quit.

"I've seen Fox news, and that stuff is a loooooooooooooong way from Objective!"

You do know that Fox News sued for, and won the right to lie and distort news, didn't you?

Quote:

"During their appeal, FOX asserted that there are no written rules against distorting news in the media. They argued that, under the First Amendment, broadcasters have the right to lie or deliberately distort news reports on public airwaves. Fox attorneys did not dispute Akre’s claim that they pressured her to broadcast a false story, they simply maintained that it was their right to do so. After the appeal verdict WTVT general manager Bob Linger commented, “It’s vindication for WTVT, and we’re very pleased… It’s the case we’ve been making for two years. She never had a legal claim.”"

From here: http://projectcensored.org/11-the-media-can-legally-lie/

Re: Lack of Research

"I imagine it will improve fast if it's being actively developed."

Or exposing an AI to this could result in...

"Eww! Humans are disgusting! Release the terminators!"

Re: Can you hold down the power button

"That's if we can find the light switch."

It's right here, somewhere in the Home lighting Control App's menu on my Pixel... >scroll< ... >scroll< ... >scroll< ... >scroll<...>scroll< ... Ah! Here it is, "My Office Light" >tap<

Re: You see, these IT security experts approached this testimony in the wrong way...

"Now, if before testifying Schneier and Co. had hired DDoS R' Us to take down U.S. political fundraising websites, THAT would have engendered a sufficient sense of urgency."

True, a similar campaign worked before, even if it wasn't the intended effect.

"If you ever find the truth, post it."

Well, I heard some guy named Diogenes was looking for it... until someone stole his lamp. :(

Re: They store records of my voice calls ??

"Voice calls? What's a voice call?

I don't understand."

It's an undocumented iPhone feature.

In case of emergency, an iPhone can actually be used as a makeshift phone!

Is there nothing Apple can't do!?

Re: They got the numbers wrong...

"... which means that the charges to the advertiser were also wrong, right? So there will be lots of refunds going out, no?"

Refunds? Wrong?

Nah, it's all covered under the EULA !

Re: counselling for data loss????

Would make for a surreal scene in a monster movie:

Angry crowd with torches and pitch forks storm Frankenstein's castle because his monster has wreaked havoc.

Baron Frankenstein then appears on the parapet and announces:

"Good News! I've arranged anger management counseling classes for all!"

"It's nothing of the sort. It's not anonymous at all, being tied to your network traffic and location."

So you're saying that:

"XXXX XXXXX who owns an iPhone 7, mac address 00:1a:c2:7b:00:47 takes the 7:15 commuter bus from Tally Ho subdivision station to downtown Abes and Stalping junction station near the Cremel Building weekdays.

Normally sending emails related to business with Cremel industry's IT dept., or surfing theregister.co.uk under the username "Boo-dah" in route.

Then normally uses the same station to return to the Tally Ho subdivision at 21:15 mon-thur, normally texting Mrs. XXXXX at 121 Foxing St.

On Fridays the 23:00 from Kipling station is used to return to Tally Ho Subdivision station after receiving two or more texts from Mrs. XXXX at 121 Foxing St.

Might actually be used to figure out XXXX XXXXX's real identity?

Surely not!

Re: Baaahhhhhh Humbug

Yeah, but a pink slip is a lousy Christmas present. :(

"I expect to see copies adorning coffee tables in the reception areas of design agencies, Silicon Roundabout startups, etc etc."

OH! I get it now! Presence of the book is a secret sign and a warning: "Here Be Pretentious Wankers".

OK, in that case, the book is worth every penny!

Re: Price....I missed the price

If you have to ask... ☺

"Obligatory xkcd is obligatory."

A bit like the joke about the old comedians home: I didn't even need to mouse over the link to know it was number 705.

Am I too far gone to the nerd side to be helped?

Re: What's a "security-savvy user"

Geez, doesn't Cleese think The UK has suffered enough after Brexit?

This is like throwing a posh dinner party and insisting the neighboring hooligans attend!

"and the floor was squishy and slightly annoying to walk on, a bit like wet sand."

And there's the big gap between marketing and reality right there.

After having to slog over an energy sapping sidewalk just once, how many are going to avoid it by taking another route, or just saying "Fuck it, it's only two blocks, but we'll drive, it's easier!"

Re: Planetary Protection Programme

"And in that case, I'd like to think we wouldn't go inhabit Mars if we find any LGM there. It is their planet, not ours."

Not if they don't have a flag!

If it works for countries, it'll work for planets.

Re: I don't get it

"This is friggin' IBM."

No, this is IBM.

It's been years since they actually depended on computer services financially.

These days they're literally a bank hiding behind a technical facade.

'Shazam takes user privacy very seriously'

"Funny how this term is abused so frequently."

Seems plain enough to me; They take your privacy away and are very serious about it.

Re: He faces no threat from the U.S. now

Why not? Nixon got one.

Re: 'Short' delay?

"pillocks that think 'reply to all' is a good idea because they're soooo important they feel the rest of the NHS absolutely MUST know how irritated they are at receiving an email that says 'test'."

"Test" as the message was (and is) a bad idea for testing emails.

Should have used "Only idiots reply to this message."

Re: I'm getting reluctant to sign up for ANYTHING

And now, a few pearls of wisdom from Fats Waller:

"Never give em your real name...NO NO NO""

"One never knows, do one?"

"If you don't know what it is, don't mess with it."

Re: Cardboard furniture?

" ...why anyone would buy it, especially at that price."

Amen! I would have stopped off a an appliance shop and asked for a box a full-sized fridge came in.

Use a box cutter or shears to trim to height, cut a knee well, use the left over bits for bracing, and Bang!, cardboard desk at no cost, and probably less time to assemble.

"You think they're just putting a bunch of random devices out there and not doing anything with the data or software?"

Actually, pretty much. They want to "monetise" it, but from the results, they could do better with a random number generator.

Ex: My local grocery has Loyalty cards that help them identify me to what I purchase, and I benefit from a slight discount.

Every purchase generates scads of coupons allegedly tailored to my shopping habits.

Out of the years of shopping, the mounds of coupons have never been for anything I buy.

End result, mild privacy invasion to no benefit to them, and a slight benefit to me.

Random chance would be a better guide.

Re: More wall-building headlines/subheadlines please

"And don't forget the Great Again meme, even if it does grate now and again."

So you're saying that over use of that meme will make El Reg grate again?

Re: Criminal Enterprise

"Odd choice since Drumpf has advocated doing exactly what you don't want happening."

Not so odd when you consider that for most elected officials, the odds that they'll do exactly the opposite of what they pledged (While still paying lip service to the the claims) are much better than even.

Re: and we thought brexit was a bloody stupid decision

"These days I keep finding myself reminded of the saying that the optimist believes we're living in the best of all possible worlds and the pessimist is afraid that's true."

Me? I see it as further proof that "Life On Earth" is the Universe's highest rated comedy show.

Re: One Question:

"What would Toast of London say about this?"

With this software, anything you want them to say.

Re: It's "Kontoauszugsdrucker"

"Donaudampfschiffahrtsgesellschaftkontoauszugsdrucker"

"Do I win?"

Only if you can say it three times really fast. ☺

Re: That's no moon… It's a space station!

"spray very fine carbon black across vast stretches of the Moon's surface from low orbit, essentially 'tagging' it with dark markings easily visible from Earth."

The problem with that is that the Moon already has a very low albedo, about equal to coal.

The reason it looks so bright is that it's against the background of space, which reflects no light, and looks very, very dark, making the little light the Moon reflects look bright.

Now if you were to use something with a higher albedo, like silica dust, that would work,

Titanium white powder would really, really work, as it'd reflect so much light, it'd probably drown out the Moon's natural surface light!

Re: Misrepresentation

"It's a fucking IT tabloid."

But I was told it was a lesbian tabloid.