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* Posts by DJ Smiley

410 posts • joined 14 Sep 2011

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Ad watchdog: Amazon 'misleading' over Prime next-day delivery ads

DJ Smiley

> Amazon was ordered not to let the advert “appear again in its current form”, and to ensure that some Amazon Prime-labelled items were not available for next-day delivery.

Is it me, or does that second bit not make sense? Was it meant to be 'as some Amazon Prime-labelled items were not available for next-day delivery' I wonder?

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Sysadmin sank IBM mainframe by going one VM too deep

DJ Smiley

Re: "...hashland would sound silly."

I'm just trying to figure out what poundbrowns would taste like....

2
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Swiss sausage sizzler 4.0 hits 200 bangers per hour

DJ Smiley

I just did some really bad math, and came out with sausages weighing in at 3.5Kg each?!

200 hr, over 48 hrs, weighing 37 tons....

3
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10 social networks ignored UK government consultations

DJ Smiley

"Data Protection Act’s penalties of up to four per cent of global turnover for non-compliance, with lesser penalties applied first."

Actually I think that's GDPR, and DPA only has fines upto £500,000 which for someone like facebook, is just a drop in the ocean.

2
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Massive cyber attack targets mid-Atlantic nation 'Berylia'

DJ Smiley

Re: Proper simulation

Or if you're Costa Rica, or any country without what we like to think as 'first world services' - years later.

3
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NASA fungus problem puts theory of 'Martian mushrooms' on toast

DJ Smiley

Why not.....

Do the research in space, on the meterorite?

I'm sure there's reasons, mostly being $$$... but would it be possible?

3
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IBM: About those agreed voluntary redundancies ... we were just kidding

DJ Smiley

How many will now leave anyway.... and miss out on redundancy?

How many will now leave anyway.... and miss out on redundancy?

This is worse than the time a large water company took a dump on me, after telling me they were extending my contract, to the next day telling me actually they weren't, and that was my last day.

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Google slaps mute button on stupid ads that nag you to buy stuff you just looked at

DJ Smiley

Re: Nice PR

Adverts aren't going away, no matter how much you hate them.

But, if the adverts can at least be relevant (i.e. not the ones I'm never going to click in 1000 years) then this is surely a good thing, even if the point of it is to make more money for google.

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Look on the bright side, Pebble fans. At least your gizmo will work long enough for you to get beach body ready

DJ Smiley

In the sky - is it bright? yes - it's day.

You don't need to be any more accurate when you're 50 miles from civilisation.

0
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GitHub shrugs off drone maker DJI's crypto key DMCA takedown effort

DJ Smiley

Re: "github provides many workflow features"

If you're incompetent enough to post your keys to github, what says your competent enough to run a git server, and not accidentally forget to back it up?

The ToS say you get to keep the flaming wreckage in this case, much use it'll do you.

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Wannabe W1 DOW-er faked car crash to track down reg plate's owner

DJ Smiley

Says it all really...

3
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Kernel-memory-leaking Intel processor design flaw forces Linux, Windows redesign

DJ Smiley

So I think I found a video of the bug in action....

I took a little time in my lunch break to try and figure out what was so big that it had intel and co running scared....

I found a Video from 2017 (wow that long ago!) showing reading a EC2 instance from an EC2 instance without any kind of permissions...

Is this what the fuss is about? It looks pretty scary to me!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPZmiRi_c-o

5
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UK security chief: How 'bout a tax for tech firms that are 'uncooperative' on terror content?

DJ Smiley

So if I pay, it's OK?

The idea of a tax on something which shouldn't be there under any circumstance is kind of sending the wrong message, no?

13
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Hot chips crashed servers, but were still delicious

DJ Smiley

Re: The first question you ALWAYS ask...

Had a pharamcist one ring me, 'We can't dispense, the computer isn't working!' - after collecting the store details, asking is the computer on at all (no), they then decide to tell me the store is 6 inches deep in water due to a main that burst, and all the electrics are turned off, but they thought they should be able to power on this machine and dispense anyway!

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DNS resolver 9.9.9.9 will check requests against IBM threat database

DJ Smiley

Except you can just specify a different resolver?

3
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Your future data-centre: servers immersed in box full of oil, in a field

DJ Smiley

Re: Surprised

There was something on Slashdot I think, just a few weeks ago.

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DJ Smiley

Re: Been there, done that...

The original big Iron servers also did this, in the 1970's.

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Landlubber northern council shores up against boat-tipping

DJ Smiley
Trollface

Re: "In boat heaven"

Someones moral compass was clearly acting up.

I'm sure the fuss will tide over eventually

These jokes are all a bit ropey

11
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DJ Smiley

I see the funny side....

But how many are going to be now looking at the council wondering why they are paying someone for this?

3
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Kubernetes bug ate my banking app! How code flaw crashed Brit upstart

DJ Smiley

And there's a lesson on why your testing platform runs the _same versions_ as live

And there's a lesson on why your testing platform runs the _same versions_ as live

If it had, they'd have noticed that during this upgrade it breaks, but as so many places, they seem to have decided to upgrade the test version at some point without actually testing the whole setup.

1
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Seagate's 'AI' disk drive: Just put slightly higher numbers on the specs

DJ Smiley

Re: Can I have the fast one please ?

For some reason I was feeling kind and I've let el reg know. However, I wonder if we can use this as a product description and then demand that Seagate fulfil it?

Then again it's Seagate, I'd rather not.

1
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Boss put chocolate cake on aircon controller, to stop people using it

DJ Smiley

Sorry!

The cake was a lie!

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How to make your HTML apps suck less, actually make some money

DJ Smiley

Higher res graphics for those times when your holding your phone 0.2 cm away from your eyeball ?

0
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The case of the disappearing insect. Boffin tells Reg: We don't know why... but we must act

DJ Smiley

Once one of my cats came in with a Bat in his mouth. I have _no_ clue how he managed to catch it, I presumed it was hurt in some way, but I took it outside (in a bucket as I had no clothes to hand) lifted it up and it did fly off....

So, while we're down one bat, we're not out yet ;)

2
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Hipster disruptor? Never trust a well-groomed caveman with your clams

DJ Smiley

Re: Douglas Adams already pondered thusly...

He'd have seen the inverse relationship between thickness of banana slice, and value associated with and launched the 'bananot' - a banana cut into strips so thin, you wouldn't believe they exist other than the fact they come in a gold plated (warning, not real gold, just some yellow paint) presentation box. Only $1000!

Also available is the 'bananot' which comes in the larger box, and so has more room with it, only $2500!

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Support team discovers 'official' vendor paper doesn't rob you blind

DJ Smiley

I find this story very odd.

So the tapes either weren't reading at all, or were reading as different tapes to the ones in the drive - fine.

Now if they weren't reading at all, and to robot thought there was no tape, then surely it would of become very obvious once the robot went to retrieve the tape from the drive, and failed because 'I can't find the tape!'

Terrible debugging and reporting is what caused this problem, exasperated by a customer using unsupported hardware.

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What is the probability of being drunk at work and also being tested? Let's find out! Correctly

DJ Smiley

Re: Let's be real here.

Ok but what if they show up exhausted, because they have kids and they were up all night screaming?

My point is, that the effect on their work from exhaustion is the same as that of being drunk.

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DJ Smiley
Pint

Re: A certain bias, there

It takes me 10 minutes to get to work.

I could easily down a Pint, come to work, still have it in my system.

Nothing wrong with a Pint before work at 8am! ;)

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DJ Smiley

Re: Precision

"Besides: 0.95*0.95 = 0.9025 which doesn't round to 0.91 at any precision.

If you use (248/260)*(247/260) for full precision, that comes out as 0.906154 which may be where you get your 0.91 from, but the article doesn't make that clear."

" which doesn't round to 0.91 at any precision"

So does it, or not

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Nailing a cloud project without killing Bob boils down to not being a tool

DJ Smiley

Re: Funny, that same script could have been said of any large IT project to do anything

There's a simple explanation to why as well. No project will ever be 100% successful.

No project large enough be taken on by them, would ever be complete in a timeline that they operate in (4, 8 years, etc).

Therefore, any (every) project passed over to someone else, is doomed to have it's failure shouted from the rooftops, as the other guy dropping the ball. Even the ones that _do_ go well!.

1
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We went to Nadella's launch of Hit Refresh so you didn't have to

DJ Smiley

Re: Will it be viewed cynically as corporate propaganda?

Pick it up was my first thought.... quickly followed by 'and look up' -- because when it's raining babies, they're coming from somewhere/someone.

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Vibrating walls shafted servers at a time the SUN couldn't shine

DJ Smiley

Did anyone else expect something else?

Walls vibrating? Middle of the night? Was I the only one expecting something else about where the sun didn't shine? ;)

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DJ Smiley

Re: I call bull

erm, yes it would, the same way solar flares can flip bits.

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Patch alert! Easy-to-exploit flaw in Linux kernel rated 'high risk'

DJ Smiley

Re: "An unprivileged local user"

They don't mean physically local I believe, you can pull this off just as easily on a vps.

Just a non-privileged user.

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'Alexa, play Charlie Bit My Finger.' I can't do that, Dave. No, really

DJ Smiley

Re: Linking to an autoplay video, WTF El Reg.

It didn't play here, wtf! I WANT IT.

2
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Is this cough cancer, doc? No: it's a case of Playmobil on the lung

DJ Smiley

Re: Oh, Lester, your presence is missed.

I stuck either a piece of lego (is what my Mum says it was) or Popeye's head (which is what I remember it being), from a kinder-egg up my nostril, and had to go to hospital to have it removed.

Funny how we remember these things.

2
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Check in my all-flash server-storage system? You must be mad! I'm taking it on-board

DJ Smiley

Re: Hand luggage its not...

The option we legitimately used flying servers to/from Ireland was buying a seat for them. My boss used to tell me how he'd enjoy having the extra space, with the rack server just sat up against the window.

3
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Google to kill its Drive file locker in two confusing ways

DJ Smiley

Because creating a folder on your C:\ called backups, and dumping everything in it as you did before, is too hard?

0
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HSBC biz banking crypto: The case of the vanishing green padlock and... what domain are we on again?

DJ Smiley

No one ever logged into a banking site, to give said banking site more money, only ever to take it away.

Suddenly the fact they don't work very well is obviously never going to get fixed, as it'll never drive any more profits.

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Dolphins inspire ultrasonic attacks that pwn smartphones, cars and digital assistants

DJ Smiley

So long, and thanks for all the tuna!

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DJ Smiley

Dialing an number is a great attack

Steps to execute:

1. register with dodgy provider of premium rate numbers.

2. stand in busy shopping center running this.

3. $$$$$$$

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It's happening! Official retro Thinkpad lappy spotted in the wild

DJ Smiley

I've got one of these at home I think. I was given it as a 'gift' from a old boss when I left (it was my work laptop and he left me keep it). I installed gentoo on it a few months ago, and it's still as nippy and useful as ever.

The one thing that works really well for me, is the fact there's a 'forward facing' bevel on the edge of the screen when it's raised, this means when it's closed, it actually protects from dust/dirt/paper from sliding in between the screen and keyboard causing mess. Odd reason to like it I know, but it just makes it feel more like someone actually thought about what they were designing with this,

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Crypto-busters reverse nearly 320 million hashed passwords

DJ Smiley

Re: Not really correct

Except it is, if every site used a different salt and encryption, but they don't because (they are dumb and don't add salts) and we constantly tell them to use encryption X because it's the best right now.

0
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P≠NP proof fails, Bonn boffin admits

DJ Smiley

Re: Of course P≠NP....

.... did he forget to test for 0, 1 and other obvious examples then? :/

0
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User thanked IT department for fast new server, but it had never left its box

DJ Smiley

A couch?!

What kind of boss buys you a COUCH?!

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CyberRehab's mission? To clean up the internet, one ASN block at a time

DJ Smiley

Re: A nice idea, but...

Ok

What's to stop me claiming you did bad thing X, and Y to me? Now you've been disconnected. Good bye.

1
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Western Digital hauls out weighty tome with 20TB external storage

DJ Smiley

Re: Three year warranty

Or just remember that RAID is not a backup, and neither is something you can write to as easily as this.

A backup is secure (i.e not accessible accidentally), remote, and duplicated to separate locations.

1
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Private sub captain changes story, now says reporter died, was 'buried at sea' – torso found

DJ Smiley

Re: Something worth remembering

My old college lecturer used to like reminding us how this happened to him, he saw people drinking from a stream, half hour walk up the stream, and there was a pile of dead rotting sheep in it...

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London 'not-spots' look out! Mayor wants team to tackle crap signal

DJ Smiley

Re: Ask Google?

No no, our network is flawless!

0
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Dark web doesn't exist, says Tor's Dingledine. And folks use network for privacy, not crime

DJ Smiley

Considering you can't track 'users' on tor, you're only tracking connections of said users.

Now, 1 user can be many hundreds of connections, and also 3% of a networks connections are 'bad'.... that's quite high now you're considering how many connections signify how many users...

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