Furtive Frog and Wanking Wallaby
Sounds like a children's book written by a *very* naive author.
It was a beautiful spring day, and Furtive Frog was out for a hop. He came upon Wanking Wallaby changing his bicycle tyre.
"Good morning, Wanker!" said Frog. "Do you need a hand? You know you always screw everything up because you are so half-arsed. It's practically your only personality trait."
"I sure do, Furty!" said Wallaby. "I was in a hurry changing the tyre and now I've punctured the replacement tube! It just makes me so angry I could jump up and down! Oh sorry I didn't mean to scare you, I'm just frustrated."
"Haha, that's OK. But, you see, jumping is my job. Because I'm a Frog!" said Frog.
"Haha," said Wallaby. "Haha," said Frog again. And they laughed wryly together for a while out of despair at the sadness of their empty lives, while gazing at the nonfunctional bicycle.
Just then, Passionate Panda sauntered up, wearing her most colorful spring dress. "Hello, friends! I was just headed to the pub! Would...