728 posts • joined 16 Jun 2011
Static on paper
It don't half give you a belt, does that.
Re: An unexpected load killed my keyboard...
You should try a bidet with a spin cycle!
Re: You already know what happens next...
Should have been 22.214.171.124 - the DNS of the beast.
Re: If we extrapolate from the directions they were pointing in when they failed
Doesn't bear thinking about.
What was the pontiff that comment anyway?
Make anything more than a plain vanilla Android completely optional
And no, I don't mean making previously baked-in crap so you can actually uninstall it; rather dont put it there in the first place. Then, if you feel an overpowering need to get Samsung flavoured crapware, there should be a dedicated SammyShiteShop(TM), where you can go and get all the useless junk you like.
If SammyShiteware is actually good enough to be desired on its merit, as distinct from being foisted on users, Ill be proven wrong by the flood of people wanting to install it.
Yale Weds: Just some system maintenance, nothing to worry about. Yale Thurs: Nobody's smart alarm app works
Re: Does Gerry Anderson's estate get a cut for him inventing this?
"Could have leveraged"
You are an HR consultant and I claim my £5
And don't forget
TalkTalk have just unloaded their mobile biz onto O2.
A sort of self-thickening shitmix
Top of the bots
That raised a titter
There are some bloody clever people out there
This is for the good guys >>>
Two cores? How do you know which one is wrong?
Shouldn't it be a minimum of three cores, voted 2-oo-3?
Yes! I'm affected!
I just HAD to come here to read the comments.
Otherwise, I'm just fine, not actually having an Anusexa.
Isnt that already happening with Orifice 365? All your crap belong MS servers.
Can you imagine
An open llan office full of people wittering at their computers and a good percentage of those conversatioms descending into screaming fits?
Sorry but the sooner Cortana is led outside and put out of our misery, the better
@ Waseem Alkurdi
I guess he means summat a bit like Crown House (and one other I cant recall) who run TV transmitters, carring content from the Beeb, ITV, Channels 4 and 5 and th edross broadcasters
Re: Don't want to use Edge?
But you can roll it in glitter
"slimy marketing cesspool crap"
Has Microshaft actually improved THAT much?
Sucks on a mobile. Too much wasted space. Cant comment on the ads; long since gave them the boot - you only inflict animated/video ads on me once.
I have to agree with previous comments regarding pigs & lipstick
Re: Sad times
"How do you tell the clan of a Scotsman?"
Lift his kilt and see if he's a big MacDonald
Isnt that the gas thats pretty hard to keep in? How long will one of these drives last?
I thought the issue was the fire dept had an "unlimited" plan, which Verizon decided was actually limited.
@ Adam Foxton
Only if you keep carping on about it
"to leverage the Echo’s impressive ....."
When folk start talking like that its pretty certain to be wank spank or an HR consultant has gotten out of the secure wing
Re: "We’ve built Android 9 to learn from you—
Wot jelabarre59 said. Times quite a lot
So. Kicked in the crotch twice, eigh?
One with getting just 1TB anda a second time being saddled with Orifice 365.
Still, I suppose you don't HAVE to use Orifice.
"Google leveraged its platform dominance"
Please. What is wrong with "used"? Has someone escaped from HR again?
Re: Also from the Register...
Speaking (in appropriately reverential tones) of he who is the BOFH, aren't we overdue for a few episodes?
He didn't actually enlarge it. He became the swamp.
"Ego sum palude" - ought to be his motto, I suppose.
Re: America, oh, America
/Inventor of the Marmite Laser - wiggles ears
America, oh, America
Home of the vested* interest.
*If not actually vested, at least in possession of a nice cardigan.
Cars are fun too
Many years ago I had need to ask our graphics/marketing literature deaigner to move the nice Vauxhall Carlton hed bought newish sexondhand off the comaony.
As usual, it took ages for him to appear, by which time Id got bored, found a chunk of parcel strappimg, opened the car and was waiting for him.
His reaction: You camt have done that its an executive range car.
Another time, our admin lassie rang in from town, having locked herself out of her Datsun (it WAS a long time ago). Went to her rescue and managed to spring the catch on the back window then rwach in and unscrew the catch from the glass, open the window enough to reach the hinges, unscrew them, lift out the window and finally get at the door latxh.
Despite the two of us doing thus in the middle of a carpark and making no secret of it, no-one took the blindest notice of us.
Slightly off-topic, but a memory stirred by tales of being shown around places.
We'd been talking to a London hospital some years back about a data collection system to streamline updating bed availability and allocation. We'd been given the Big Tour and seen all the wards with serious amounts of boxen and blinken lighten.
We were doing the handshake bit at the end, standing near the door of a perfectly ordinary ward; no boxen, no blinken lighten, just rows of oldish guys in beds. While I was looking, one of the guys at the far end leaped out of bed and started loudly declaiming the Ode to the Haggis. One by one the other old guys joined in until almost the whole ward was doing it.
I asked our guide what that had all been about and was it some kind of psychiatric ward.
"No" he said. "Its the Serious Burns Unit."
Re: Ignore them.
@Gordon Pryra: Add almost any HR department to that list
Re: Be thankful for the lack of symbolic explanation
Shutting down into protective catatonia.............
Atari accuses El Reg of professional trolling and making stuff up. Welp, here's the interview tape for you to decide...
Re: I miss the old days...
Still didn't tell you where the "any" key was
Re: Back to School
Children live on one side of despair; the enlightened on the other.
Happy to be childish.
Now just feed me a goodly line that ends with a fnarrr, fnarrr
What I find difficult to get my bonce around
OK, so VW, with the might of its huge design & development teams couldn't come up with an engine that met emissions regs and resorted to fraud.
Then the brown stuff hit the rotating object.
All of a sudden, a "solution" was found, tested and rolled out. Not only that but the "fix" was, for most engines, a firmware tweak and, in the case of the 1.6tdi, adding an airflow control device (a plastic mesh) in the intake.
Magically, that was all developed and rolled out in next to no time.
One is given to wonder why, if it really was so simple, VW couldn't have got it right first time around
Unless, that is, it wasn't possible to produce compliant engines that would not run a big, big risk of early EGR valve etc., failures - which seems to be exactly what is happening.
Re: Trackball can be worse....
I refer to mine as a dead rat.
Doffs cap to Mt Pratchett
See what's trending
I have never understood why I should give a rats arse about what is "trending"
It seems to be associated with organisations serving me ads for more of what I have just bought/looked at/etc.
I love this mag
Re: Die bitch
Linked in is terrible. Period
Re: "rapid removal of abusive and objectionable material"
Why? No matter how you vote, its always the government that gets in.
Re: What an odd way of putting it!
@ hplasm: Gender-unspecific tea refill and asexual mopping of keyboard required
Re: Diode or Storage
Why is my bullshit detector chiŕping?
Use the word "Leverage" as a verb