* Posts by Robert Helpmann??

2583 publicly visible posts • joined 31 May 2011

London-based Yahoo! hacker gets 11 years for SQLi mischief

Robert Helpmann??
Childcatcher

The network security you can afford

I don't think anyone deserves that kind of misappropriation of data - mainly because it hurts the customers / chattel as well.

Perhaps "invites" would be a more appropriate term. Leave your car running on a dark street in a high crime area* and you might not "deserve" to have it stolen, but you are asking for it to happen.

* An apt analogy for the internet, I believe.

UK copyright troll weeps, starts 20-week stretch in the cooler for beating up Uber driver

Robert Helpmann??
Trollface

Troll gets tossed under bridge

This will destroy my life, I am the director of a company and everyone would lose their jobs. We have 1,000 clients, we have staff all around the country, and it would die.

Good!

Double KO! Capcom's Street Fighter V installs hidden rootkit on PCs

Robert Helpmann??
Childcatcher

Re: Why the double standard here?

The issue is that neither in Sony's case, nor here there was a prosecutor brave enough (and interested enough) to file charges.

Seems a class action lawyer could have a good time with this given there is an easily definable class and arguably malicious action which could lead to claims of all sorts of issues for Sony's paying customers.

IBM botched geo-block designed to save Australia's census

Robert Helpmann??
Childcatcher

Disconnect it from the outside world

a). no one outside Australia has a legitimate reason to access the website.

It's not something that Australians living abroad might have an interest in? Or news agencies?

Cosmology is safe and the Universe is one giant version of the Barbican

Robert Helpmann??
Childcatcher

Re: "...the universe is probably directionless."

So are a few countries I could think of at the moment.

Not ours! We are going straight to Hell!

She cannae take it, Captain Kirk! USS Zumwalt breaks down

Robert Helpmann??
Childcatcher

Re: weapons?

A lot of ships seem to be going the way of vertical launch missile silos...

Have an upvote, AC. The USS Zumwalt (DDG-1000) is a guided missile destroyer and this is exactly what was done, with the design providing better safety and storage options on a number of levels. Additionally, it looks like this ship might get, or already have, a railgun as part of her armament. It will not take up a lot of room, either, but packs quite a punch.

We live in a world where a 'Hamdog' burger hybrid is patented

Robert Helpmann??
Childcatcher

Re: Quick...

Don't over-think it. Place all ingredients in a blender and puree. Roll in a ball, batter and deep fry. Problem solved*. Additional patents need to be filed for other ingredient combinations (e.g pizza & doughnuts, beer & pretzels, broccoli &... perhaps I will have to reconsider this one...).

* All problems may be solved in a similar manner.

Man accused of $180k ass-based gold smuggling scam awaits verdict

Robert Helpmann??
Childcatcher

Re: Rainbows?

So he's a unicorn! On the other end of things, when he says he enjoys golden showers, it is not a euphemism.

Microsoft snubs alert over Exchange hole

Robert Helpmann??
Childcatcher

Re: it only takes only four lines of code and a local config file

The point MS is making in response is that maybe the problem here is more we should stop people from smashing the window in the first place, rather than that the internal doors should all be replaced with iron-reinforced triple-locking front doors in case a window IS smashed.

This is a false dichotomy. Both approaches are valid and important. Perimeter security is obviously important, but beefing up internal security and compartmentalization also yield better results than doing without. The crab method* of security has long been discredited and should not have any supporters at this time.

* Set up a hard, spiky shell on the outside and leave the soft, tasty inside undefended to anything that manages to get through the first and only layer of security.

FBI overpaid $999,900 to crack San Bernardino iPhone 5c password

Robert Helpmann??
Childcatcher

Re: @Voland ...You are missing the point

Except your simple solution assumes the FBI has no in-house expertise on digital storage forensics...

As to this, the FBI has been having a difficult time hiring and retaining people who do this exact sort of work. This has been well covered, both here on El Reg and in other media outlets. They seem to want to get people with the skill set needed to do this kind of work to do so at government worker wages instead of the much high amounts they can get working as contractors or in private industry.

National Cyber Security Centre to shift UK to 'active' defence

Robert Helpmann??
Childcatcher

Re: "large-scale, non-sophisticated attacks"

If a business is too short sited to realize it's vulnerable, or too short sighted to realize it needs to protect itself why, exactly, should anyone else do it for them?

While I agree with the sentiment, the practice is not particularly helpful. Allowing one business to become a malware-infested hole does no-one any good - not the hapless victim, not its customers and not anyone else on the same internet. A better approach would be for a competent outside agency to come it, clean up and then present a bill to the business in question. Alternatively, actively blocking said organization from internet access of any sort would also address the issue while going in the direction you seem to be heading. Either way should do the trick.

Researcher says Patch Tuesday fix should have been made earlier

Robert Helpmann??
Childcatcher

Which way to jump?

It has been a while since I was told this, so perhaps things have changed. My understanding is that Microsoft rates the severity of flaws and creates patches for them based on their risk and not the risk to their customers. Such an approach might be used to explain behavior of this sort given that any patch has risk associated with it and this particular flaw wasn't causing that much trouble in the wild, at least not to MS directly.

French hackers selling hidden .22 calibre pen guns on secret forums

Robert Helpmann??
Childcatcher

Re: So the pen IS mightier than the Sword

Not with the range you are likely to get out of one of those pens. You would probably be better off strapping a sword to your side and tell everyone that you were headed to a costume/fancy dress party.

Hacker and chums jailed over gold bullion hack, track 'n' grab scam

Robert Helpmann??
Childcatcher

Re: Ca fait mal

These folks are bad at crime and at math(s). £88,000 split four ways gives £22K each successfully gained from 6 attempts which in turn gives an average return of less than £4K each go. Low returns for high risk... better to be a day trader and play that game with someone else's money.

Microsoft's maps lost Melbourne because it used bad Wikipedia data

Robert Helpmann??
Childcatcher

Re: Absolute proof

...it's a great time to hack Bing maps!

It's always a great time to hack Bing maps. Consider that MS droids are all forced to use only MS products for everything. What would happen if Redmond were to be relocated in Bing maps to, say, the bottom of the Marianas Trench? Hilarity will ensue.

Your wget is broken and should DIE, dev tells Microsoft

Robert Helpmann??
Childcatcher

Too little, too late

"It's a factor of people having a communication platform to respond to problems which isn't controlled by Microsoft and can't be silenced by their PR people."

Such a shame it wasn't in place prior to Windows 8. Perhaps criticism of PS will convince them to scrap it and start from scratch. I mean, whatever they came up with would have to be better, right? Right?

Five-storey Blue Screen Of Death spotted in Thailand

Robert Helpmann??
Alert

The Elevator

The Hyatt Regency Atlanta has advertising running on screens in their elevators. There's nothing like seeing a BSoD on the conveyance taking you up in the air 20-ish stories, but that's exactly what I got on the way to my room two years back. Their elevators are Willy Wonka affairs with a vertigo-inducing view of their atrium.

Microsoft has open-sourced PowerShell for Linux, Macs. Repeat, Microsoft has open-sourced PowerShell

Robert Helpmann??
Childcatcher

Re: "On Linux we’re just another shell"

And the answer is in the title of Mr Spencer's book. PS uses objects, Linux and the older Windows command line use regular expressions. The latter is easier to learn, more intuitive. I have heard Monad lovers go on about how much more powerful it is, but except for things designed specifically to be run by it, I can do anything with CMD that you can do with PS and probably get the job done faster.

So to me the choice ought to come down to which you prefer and the issue I have is that MS is working hard to remove that choice for its Windows using customers.

Tech support scammers mess with hacker's mother, so he retaliated with ransomware

Robert Helpmann??
Childcatcher

Re: Oh man...

No problem. This was in France.

In Texas, there used to be a defense for murder that was essentially "He needed killin'." The French have come up with the "Il avait besoin d'engouement" defense. Yippee ki-yay!

Microsoft to overhaul Windows 10 UI – with a 3D Holographic Shell

Robert Helpmann??
Childcatcher

Updates for the sake of updates

Meanwhile, Microsoft is working on... yet another way to force their customers into having to completely relearn all the skills they have come to depend on in order to get actual work done, costing them literally millions of lost hours of productivity. It is a replay of the ribbon, of the conversion from their CLI to Monad (they switched the name to PowerShell apparently due to the original name sounding too much like what it was), of their ill-fated discarding of the Start menu and so forth.

No, I don't mind that they come up with new things, it's just that they don't give their customers much choice and it really does cause a lot of pain on a number of levels. Before deploying any new user interface, their developers ought to answer the question "How will this increase productivity or otherwise benefit our customers?" at least in as much as the topic is office software. If the answer is not a positive one, the change should be put on hold, reworked or discarded entirely. Damn it.

Bees bring down US stealth fighter

Robert Helpmann??
Childcatcher

Apiraist

My dad is a apiraist. I live further down the chain as a mead maker. The world would be a much poorer place without the honey bee.

Don't want to vote for Clinton or Trump? How about this woman who says Wi-Fi melts kids' brains?

Robert Helpmann??
Childcatcher

Re: Known risks with quantifiable outcomes

It lets us know who is incapable of second-grade arithmetic.

Or basic logic. A vote for the lesser of two evils is still a vote for evil.

As it happens, I lived in New Mexico while Johnson was governor of the state. He did decent job from my perspective. Not sure if I will ultimately vote for him, but my experience has been that he would make a better CiC than either of the big party candidates.

Robert Helpmann??
Childcatcher

Re: At last, a candidate with some integrity!

...we are ALL equal in his eyes. Equally puny, microscopic and beneath notice or contempt...

Yes, but how does he differentiate himself from the other candidates?

World religions stake out positions on Pokemon Go

Robert Helpmann??
Childcatcher

While the world is full of dangers for children...

Add the usual taking the piss out of Catholic priests and the RCC's cover ups HERE: And they should know, right?

BOFH: Free as in free beer or... Oh. 'Free Upgrade'

Robert Helpmann??
Childcatcher

They were Canon right?

Missed a trick there in trying to find the non-existent Linux drivers for the things.

Nope, we can't find dark matter either, says LUX team

Robert Helpmann??
Childcatcher

Re: Where you see dark matter mentioned

Just a different name for our ignorance.

Well yes, except for the bit where the existence of dark matter can be tested for.

Microbe drives tropical butterfly species to a male-killing frenzy

Robert Helpmann??
Childcatcher

Re: What was that?

Yes, from the article: “Imagine you’re walking into a bar and it’s full of females. The opportunity to mate is enormous but it’s a futile attempt at producing any heirs.”

Where is this bar?!

Smut shaming: Anonymous fights Islamic State... with porn

Robert Helpmann??
Mushroom

Worth 1,000 Words

When dealing with a group of jihadists bent on inflicting themselves on everyone around, of course the correct response is to wage war against them using weaponized pr0n! It's a good start. I look forward to finding out what the "nuclear option" in this particular effort will be.

Grim-faced 'naut Malenchenko prepares to return home

Robert Helpmann??
Childcatcher

Re: "you need to smile more!"

Choices are good. Perhaps your female peers might have offered one between a "young, perky grin" and a "classic smile."

New periodic table names

Robert Helpmann??
Trollface

It's fixed - can you please email corrections@theregister.co.uk if you spot anything wrong so we can fix things right away. Ta.

No, Ta stands for Tantalum.

Robot lung probe wins licence from US authorities

Robert Helpmann??
Childcatcher

A robot that wriggles and jiggles and tickles inside you? What will they do if it won't come back out?

I know an old lady who swallowed a droid,

How absoid to swallow a droid!

She swallowed the droid to catch the bot...

McDonald's says bigger fonts cooked up improved profits

Robert Helpmann??
Childcatcher

Re: Really? Fonts?

The next thing you know, some researcher will claim that customers and staff being able to understand each other at the drive in line will lead to a better experience for both. Blasphemy!

Caveat: I avoid McDonald's under the assumption that what is provided there is neither fast nor food.

Boffins slap quantum dots on diamonds to create mutant nanomaterials

Robert Helpmann??
Childcatcher

Re: Recursion?

So which it? Dots in diamonds? Or diamonds in dots? Or both?

It's quantum, so yes. Or neither.

Scots denied Saltire emoji

Robert Helpmann??
Childcatcher

Re: @ Khaptain our national animal, the unicorn

Very confusing to those of us who have not studied Heraldry...

Well, it sure beats the one that goes "Gules, a fess or and three toads." Perhaps the College of Arms ought to request the various heraldic components be incorporated into Unicode and added as emojis. There are arguably plenty of worse things included already.

So. Why don't people talk to invisible robots in public?

Robert Helpmann??
Terminator

Re: Critical Question

Alternatively, create a "privacy mask" that includes a VR headset for augmented reality and you should have a winner. It would function both in the practical capacity of allowing users to be completely connected all of the time without having to make actual eye contact when talking with their respective assistants and as a fashion statement (we could make day-to-day living one big costume/fancy dress party).

Icon as example of possible choice of mask.

England just not windy enough for wind farms, admits renewables boss

Robert Helpmann??
Childcatcher

Re: Tidal?

Submerged turbines in tidal races are only just getting towards production.

Something I have wondered about is why I have not heard much about any efforts to submerge turbines in deep water where there are strong currents, tidal or otherwise. Besides maintenance issues, I would guess they would have fewer problems to overcome than other renewables. It would seem that they wouldn't pose more environmental issues than windmills, shouldn't get in the way of shipping, and would be a lot more reliable in terms of hours of production than wind or solar.

The Fog of Cyberwar: Now theft and sabotage instead of just spying

Robert Helpmann??
Meh

Re: Escalation in cyber BS race

And who exactly is Uncle Sam trying to pick a fight with ? They invaded Iraq instead of North Korea because everyone knows that the Norks have WMDs.

You should add "first" immediately after "Iraq" and change the reason to "because Saddam put a hit out on Bush I and Bush II couldn't let someone go after his daddy like that."

Are you suggesting the US is trying to pick on Russia now ?

They started it!

I will leave it as an exercise for the reader to determine on which points I am being facetious.

Capitalize 'Internet'? AP says no – Vint Cerf says yes

Robert Helpmann??
Childcatcher

Re: Guidelines? m'EH?

As for the BBC establishing guidelines for the rest of us to follow, well, the idea of guidelines seems to be rather loose with them.

To say the least! I just popped open my BBC Bbc ap and was faced with the horror of "Nato." That's no way to treat an acronym! At least I didn't have to work out the difference between NATO, "the Nato" and a theoretical group of natos, so it wasn't all bad.

NASA 'naut to boldly enter pump-up space podule

Robert Helpmann??
Childcatcher

Re: Mascot

May I remind you, Sgt. Pinback...

You have pointed the way to getting the podule back home: simply ride it down like a surf board. Let there be light!

BOFH: What's your point, caller?

Robert Helpmann??
Childcatcher

Re: 48 hour SLA?

For the last two places I have worked, it was more like "SLAs? We've heard of those." I move on to the next big thing in a couple of weeks. ITIL certification was on the list of job requirements which probably means... Who am I kidding? It means an HR droid had a box to check and I will never have to worry about an SLA at the new place either.

King Tut's iron dagger of extraterrestrial origin

Robert Helpmann??
Childcatcher

But they didn't have enough sharks upon which to mount them. Perhaps they used crocodiles, instead. There's a thought to keep the underclass in line!

Anti-phishing most critical defence against rife CEO email fraud

Robert Helpmann??
Childcatcher

Re: Do NOT even read emails, never mind answer them

I agree with Jane that her next important eamil will be headed 'It is raining in Borneo'.

See, this secret squirrel stuff is why actual education is so important. If you think getting people to follow password security requirements is a chore, try implementing this "proposal."

Ongoing education and personal consequences for failing to follow policies are a much more reasonable and effective approach. This applies to both IT and accounting. Simply having a policy in place that no-one at any level may make expenditures above a certain amount without a defined set of individuals required for approval of the deal go a long way toward killing the effectiveness of phishing scams.

Microsoft warns of worm ransomware, finds fix in Windows 10 upgrade

Robert Helpmann??
Joke

Re: I wonder..

...pirate... sites [should be] avoided.

- Hear no evil.

The ZCrypt scumware is distributed through old but effective methods of phishing emails, Word document macros, and fake Adobe Flash installers.

- See no evil.

Macros should also be banished

- Say no evil

...and porn sites [should also be] avoided.

- Have no fun.

EU wants open science publication by 2020

Robert Helpmann??
Childcatcher

In some fields, it's almost de facto the case already.

This brings up my question which is why is this restricted to scientific articles? Wouldn't it make at least as much sense to stipulate this for all papers coming out of publicly funded academia?

North Korea clones Facebook, forgot to change default creds

Robert Helpmann??
Big Brother

Re: Low membership potential.

"Oh look! My neighbor changed his status from 'Starving' to 'Hungry'. I wonder what he did to merit... Hold on. Someone's at the door."

SWIFT finally pushes two-factor auth in banks – it only took several multimillion-dollar thefts

Robert Helpmann??
Childcatcher

Re: Given that this is often a inside job

It seems unlikely that more than one bank would be hit by insider attacks so close together. There even sems to be some evidence that the Norks are to blame, for whatever that's worth.

Should space be a biz-free zone? Join us on June 22 to find out

Robert Helpmann??
Childcatcher

Re: Business is the only decent part of modern civilization

The only point in going off-Earth is to enable additional goods, services, energy, materials, and profit.

While I disagree that it is the only reason to get off the planet (colonization, tourism and basic scientific research all come to mind as good reasons to escape the chains of our planet's surface), having a business reason to get into space will certainly help drive and inform efforts to do so.

Swedish old timer pulls airsoft gun on broadband salesman

Robert Helpmann??
Childcatcher

Re: Need more of this

I don't mind people trying to sell me something as long as they take my "no thanks" as intended. - I don't mind if someone takes the time to come round and talk. Its sales calls and spam that I hate.

But those bastards who won't take "fuck off" for what it is... Last time, ... I let them waffle on for about half an hour... Apparently it was my fault for wasting their time. - Simply saying goodbye and closing the door, hanging up or marking the address as spam tends to work for the decent sorts. Stringing them along should be reserved for those that don't behave properly. You are wasting their time, which in turn means you cost them some money if they are on commission. That is, after all, the point. It lets them know they have done the wrong thing, prevents them from inflicting themselves onto someone else, all while providing you with some entertainment.

Pro Tip: Alert cold callers that their call may be monitored for quality control purposes at the start of any sales pitch.

ICSA Labs wants IoT industry to seek security certification

Robert Helpmann??
Childcatcher

Re: Good Luck

Security implementation in Windows systems was an afterthought but is a big deal today. The fact that these certs are being developed would seem to point the way for security professionals who wish to get ahead a bit. For people in information security, problem areas such as exist in the field of IoT present opportunities for continued gainful employment. Don't knock it!

Google to kill passwords on Android, replace 'em with 'trust scores'

Robert Helpmann??
Childcatcher

Lack of Common Sense

Says Richard Lack (I would hold this up as a case of nominative determinism and upon careful consideration of his comments, I will), “The future lies in methods of authentication without passwords, which consumers clearly favour, both in terms of convenience and enhanced security...” which really means they want technology that is sophisticated enough to be magic. consumers want to be able to have their phones, financials and abodes only open to themselves and those they allow without having to do anything or know anything. That last might make a good metric of customer acceptance. If you would trust access to your house to a given technology after being made to understand the risks, benefits and operation, then it is probably OK to use to protect access to your phone which in turn allows access to your bank, credit cards, et cetera.

Mr Lack goes on to say, “Biometric authentication is a powerful enabler, allowing businesses smart enough to deploy it to significantly increase rates of registration, gaining data and insight about their customers, while also increasing customer security. This is a win/win scenario...” No, these are arguably mutually exclusive as the idea here is to allow the businesses in question to gather consumers' biometrics rather than to have a third party provider authenticate your identity based on your biometrics. A big win for big business, but not so much for individuals.