nav search
Data Center Software Security DevOps Business Personal Tech Science Emergent Tech Bootnotes
BOFH
Lectures

* Posts by getHandle

364 posts • joined 28 Apr 2011

Page:

Want to know what an organisation is really like? Visit the restroom

getHandle

Re: We need some ...

From a couple of places I've worked, labelling the hot taps seems to be an ISO9001 requirement...

8
0

Navy names new attack sub HMS Agincourt

getHandle

VMWare?

Why? Just why?

1
2

Sueballs flying over Facebook's Android app data slurping

getHandle

Re: Laudable but...

I hoped it was $5m per installation!

12
0

Microsoft vows to bridge phones to PCs, and this time it means it. Honest.

getHandle

Sounds like a program I used to have

Remote P800 for my Sony Ericsson, a decade and a half ago!

6
0

Microsoft's latest Windows 10 update downs Chrome, Cortana

getHandle

GIMP is pretty good

As a linux-based alternative to Photoshop...

22
31

if dev == woman then dont_be(asshole): Stack Overflow tries again to be more friendly to non-male non-pasty coders

getHandle

Non-pasty

Who brought the Cornish into this?? They'll be whinging on next... Actually, they won't, but the job will be done dreckly.

7
0

What the @#$%&!? Microsoft bans nudity, swearing in Skype, emails, Office 365 docs

getHandle

Re: WTF!

Time for another dried frog pill?

5
15

AI software that can reproduce like a living thing? Yup, boffins have only gone and done it

getHandle

Self-replication

So they've added a call to "cp -R *"?

7
0

Identifying planets with machine learning, dirty AI searches, and OpenAI scholarships

getHandle

You may consider the link SFW

But I'd fully expect a visit from IT or HR if I go surfing youporn.com at work...

2
0

Pasties in SPAAAAACE: Cornwall hopes for slice of £50m spaceport cash

getHandle

"..located in the area around Newquay airport and Goonhilly..."

That's one big spaceport, given they're 30 miles apart!!

12
0

Data science before algorithms, declares Bosch's new top techie

getHandle

Re: I wonder

I generally reserve the hand gestures for the 5th and following sods who "just slip through as you're stopped anyway"...

1
1

KFC: Enemy of waistlines, AI, arteries and logistics software

getHandle

DARTS: Deceiving Autonomous Cars with Toxic Signs

Um, that's not really how acronyms work...

11
0

UK mobile customers face inflation-busting price hike

getHandle

Re: Abuse

GiffGaff do a great deal for £10/month - 3GB data, loads of minutes and texts - with no contract!

15
0

BOFH: We want you to know you have our full support

getHandle

Re: Deja Vu

And many other comment sections on El Reg articles...

16
0

As Facebook pushes yet more fake articles, one news editor tells Mark to get a grip – or Zuck off

getHandle

WTF?

Who the hell goes to Facebook for their news??

43
2

The blockchain era is here but big biz, like most folk, hasn't a clue what to do with it

getHandle

Re: I think "why?" should be the first question.

I thought this was quite a good read: https://hackernoon.com/ten-years-in-nobody-has-come-up-with-a-use-case-for-blockchain-ee98c180100

2
1

TalkTalk starts offering punters choice to shift-shift to O2

getHandle

Re: The beginning of the end .....

Our TalkTalk broadband has been reliable and reasonably priced, but phoning them has been immensely frustrating. How can a Telco have such bad lines??

And you know they're offshored when they struggle to understand an English accent... Actually, I think I just answered my first question!

Trouble is, who is good value and provides good customer service?

6
0

Firms pushing devices at teachers that let kids draw... on a screen? You BETT

getHandle

And your kid will come out thinking half-a-dozen copy-pasted lines of Python is "programming"

Isn't that why Stack Overflow exists?? ;-)

4
0

Wave Tata, Capita: You've lost mega-contract to rival outsourcer

getHandle
FAIL

"Capita ... said it still administers 15 million policies"

And bloody useless they are at it, by most accounts! https://www.bma.org.uk/connecting-doctors/the_practice/b/weblog/posts/capita-and-the-nhs-pension-fiasco-what-is-going-on

10
0

Self-driving cars still do not exist even if we think they do

getHandle

Re: Until a car...

That's not how the ACC in my Golf reacts to people cutting in - it's actually very well designed and reacts rather smoothly. Much more so than my reaction to being cut up...

23
1

Swiss cheesed off after Apple store iPhone does Samsung Galaxy Note 7 impersonation

getHandle

"Where am I, what am I? Oh, I'm an iPhone! Noooo!! Goodbye cruel world!"

32
0

If you won't use your brain our machine will use it for you, Nissan tells drivers

getHandle

Sheesh

Round here drivers' brains struggle to keep up with reality, so a car second-guessing their intentions sounds like an accident waiting to happen!

7
0

Do you suffer from the shame of 'Scroll Jank'? Help is at your fingertips

getHandle

Re: What about scroll anchoring?

This! Very much this - especially on mobile.

8
0

Microsoft to rebuild Redmond campus, including cricket pitch

getHandle

Softy McSoftface?

Sorry, someone had to...

8
0

Dawn of The Planet of the Phablets in 2019 will see off smartphones

getHandle

IDC?

Are they still a thing?

why-idc-sales-estimates-are-complete-bs

15
1

From Vega with love: Pegasus interstellar asteroid's next stop

getHandle

Looks like a Kinetic Harpoon

Ha - missed!

4
0

How many times can Microsoft kill Mobile?

getHandle

Re: Andromeda

You had me until Unity - works perfectly well for me on desktop! Needed a launcher on tablets though... http://www.techrepublic.com/article/the-one-simple-fix-that-make-the-ubuntu-phone-incredible/

2
6

Google touts Babel Fish-esque in-ear real-time translators. And the usual computer stuff

getHandle

Re: No audio jack

Personally I'd love to be able to take my phone jogging in the rain without worrying about it getting wet. My bluetooth sports headset is already waterproof...

9
6

Mozilla extends, and ends, Firefox support for Windows XP and Vista

getHandle

Re: For the second time in 24 hours...

Doesn't mean they shouldn't be nuked from orbit!

8
7

In a surprise to no one, BT and TalkTalk top Ofcom's whinge-list

getHandle

Re: Virginmedia increasing prices AGAIN!!!!

Trouble is, where ya gonna go??

2
0

iPhone 8: Apple has CPU cycles to burn

getHandle

It's valuable to Apple!

2
0

London Tube tracking trial may make commuting less miserable

getHandle

Sounds promising

But I'd still like a properly mobile version of their journey planner website that didn't take ages to load, didn't have adverts and didn't pop up the on-screen keyboard every time you navigate on the page!

12
0

The future of Python: Concurrency devoured, Node.js next on menu

getHandle

Re: Bah!

You're a throw-back but have an upvote anyway. Currently overseeing guys doing it in C++... Feeling old!

7
0

WannaCry kill-switch hero Marcus Hutchins collared by FBI on way home from DEF CON

getHandle

Cockwombles

Bet Trump increases their funding... :-(

12
5

Capita's smart meter monopoly is owed £42m by industry

getHandle

Useless idiots

So Crapita are the reason my smart meter is going to automatically turn into a dumb meter when I move supplier...

14
3

Autonomous driving in a city? We're '95% of the way there'

getHandle

They're designing autonomous vehicles?

Yet they still deliver stuff with carrier bags containing a single item and eggs and the like packed underneath heavier stuff...

16
0

Reborn Nokia phones biz loses its head

getHandle

Re: Putting Nokia sales into perspective.

To be fair, Teslas are a little easier to spot...

5
0

Let's go to work: How bots took over business

getHandle
Paris Hilton

I feel left out

I'm not aware of interacting with a single bot...

Paris for the human touch!

2
0

Two Brits nabbed amid probe into global plot to hack Microsoft network

getHandle

Good old fashioned hacking

I still remember Ally Sheedy^w^w War Games with fondness!

1
0

Humanity uploaded an AI to Mars and lets it shoot rocks with lasers

getHandle

Pre-emptive strike!

That'll learn 'em!

2
0

Voyager 1 passes another milestone: It's now 138AU from home

getHandle
Joke

"Once Voyager 1 runs out of power, it'll head towards ... Gliese 445"

So I guess we can expect a visit from a Gliesey Council Enforcement Officer with a Fixed Penalty Notice for littering in a few (thousand) years?

10
0

Windows is now built on Git, but Microsoft has found some bottlenecks

getHandle

Re: So to paraphrase "MS Using Fat Gits for development."

"feel the biglyness" - ftfy

9
1

Project Gollum: Because NHS Caring means NHS Sharing

getHandle

When I see the name Mike Butcher

I always think of Mike Reid playing Frank Butcher off of Eastenders...

4
0

Google buys developers of VR goof-around Job Simulator

getHandle

You don't trip over the cat

The little sods trip you up on purpose!

2
0

Bot you see is what you get: The cold reality of Microsoft's chat 'AI'

getHandle

Re: ymmv

(( like++ ))

4
0

Linux homes for Ubuntu Unity orphans: Minty Cinnamon, GNOME or Ubuntu, mate?

getHandle
Happy

+1 for the Arch wiki

Never actually used Arch but the wiki has saved my arse more times than I care to remember.

10
0

Tesla: Revenues up, losses deepen, in start to 'exciting' 2017

getHandle

Or maybe the fact that the styling is so, er, minimal as to render them virtually identical??

2
0

Eurocrats prep white-box crypto capture-the-flag

getHandle

"..attackers aren't asked to release their designs, merely to provide the resulting C code."

Designs - haha, good one! :-)

1
0

Page:

The Register - Independent news and views for the tech community. Part of Situation Publishing