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* Posts by getHandle

389 posts • joined 28 Apr 2011

Page:

Microsoft points to a golden future where you can make Windows 10 your own

getHandle

Re: Windows Insider: Hustle as a Service

> So, are we Windows 10 users hustlers then?

No, the hustled

22
1

The mysterious life of Luc Esape, bug fixer extraordinaire. His big secret? He's not human

getHandle

How narrow an area?

Checking an object reference is not null before using it isn't exactly the pinnacle of debugging... Especially when it's seen the test run crash!

Can it tackle other categories of bug?

3
0

Amazon's sexist AI recruiter, Nvidia gets busy, Waymo cars rack up 10 million road miles

getHandle

Re: Amazon’s sexist AI

Lol - Google the AI Delusion and the first two hits are sponsored ads for Accenture and Microsoft

10
0

Facebook's new always-listening home appliance kit Portal doesn't do Facebook

getHandle

Zoom lens

Ideal for checking out which brand goods you have in your home! It could be having a good look round when no-one's watching...

6
0

Brit mobe operator O2 asks cut-off customers: Have you tried turning it on and off again?

getHandle
Holmes

On and off again??

It's definitely not going to work if it's off...

1
0

Emma's Diary fined £140k for flogging data on over a million new mums to Labour Party

getHandle

ICO huh?

Can I get them to find and fine the barstewards who sold on the details of my recent car insurance claim to a load of bottom-feeding accident claim management companies??

29
1

Turn around, Capita: I'm trying but my pre-tax profits slipped 59%

getHandle

Re: It's raining

You'll probably need your wellies as well, to wade out of that puddle of shite...

11
0

Taps running dry for Capita? Southern Water pens 5-year managed service

getHandle

Capita’s expertise in transforming customer experience

Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha <breathe> hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

6
0

No, seriously, why are you holding your phone like that?

getHandle

Re: Talk like an Egyptian

Most smart phones have proximity sensors that disable the screen when it's held close to your head.

It's the people who are left-handed but right-eared, or vice versa, that I feel sorry for - having to hold your phone awkwardly with your arm across your body looks most uncomfortable!

5
3

Cops suspect Detroit fuel station was hacked before 10 drivers made off with 2.3k 'free' litres

getHandle

Outrageous!

50p a litre? Why are we being ripped off so badly at over 120p a litre??

31
1

Open plan offices flop – you talk less, IM more, if forced to flee a cubicle

getHandle

What about disturbing others?

I favour electronic communication in open plan offices to avoid disturbing others.

I would happily shoot the sociopaths who think they have the right to share their conversations, thoughts and phone calls with the whole damn floor...

157
1

GitHub given Windows 9x's awesome and so very modern look

getHandle

UI elements that make it obvious what they do?

It'll never catch on! What's wrong with coloured rectangles and no clue what's a button, label or anything else??

72
0

Git365. Git for Teams. Quatermass and the Git Pit. GitHub simply won't do now Microsoft has it

getHandle

Re: Doesn't matter what they call it ...

Ours bring rodents in and let them go! Never thought cats would work out rodent net positive...

23
0

Oracle's new Java SE subs: Code and support for $25/processor/month

getHandle

You have to pay to use a language?

How curious...

20
3

Developer’s code worked, but not in the right century

getHandle

Standard Date Format

I think you're all missing the obvious: '..worked for “a large outsourcing company”'. Nuff said.

4
0

Shatner's solar-powered Bitcoin gambit wouldn't power a deflector shield

getHandle

Re: Too late...

And breathe..! :-)

8
0

Geoboffins baffled as Ceres is crawling with carbon organics

getHandle

Re: Return Samples?!

Calm down dear! Sheesh - people already think we've found life on Mars due to piss poor tabloid headlines...

6
0

Microsoft tries cutting the Ribbon in Office UI upgrade

getHandle

So we're basically back to toolbars again?

Muppets

16
2

Drinks are on Cohesity, which has been handed $250m from investors

getHandle

It means someone's going to get taken to the cleaners.

3
1

NASA finds more stuff suggesting Mars could have hosted life, maybe

getHandle

The chances of anything coming from Mars

Are 999,999 to one now?

32
0

Facebook insists device data door differs from dodgy dev data deal

getHandle

Ime Archibong

Steve, is that you? Steve Bong

4
0

John McAfee plans 2020 presidential tilt

getHandle

Fscking fruitloop

Pass the popcorn!

8
0

Kill the blockchain! It'll make you fitter in the long run, honest

getHandle

They're sharks, not shark-bait!

25
0

You should find out what's going on in that neural network. Y'know they're cheating now?

getHandle
Joke

Re: Lost in the mists of time

Maybe they had to be careful with the 'non tank' sample in case there was a tank hidden in some of them and they couldn't spot it...

7
0

Want to know what an organisation is really like? Visit the restroom

getHandle

Re: We need some ...

From a couple of places I've worked, labelling the hot taps seems to be an ISO9001 requirement...

9
0

Navy names new attack sub HMS Agincourt

getHandle

VMWare?

Why? Just why?

1
2

Sueballs flying over Facebook's Android app data slurping

getHandle

Re: Laudable but...

I hoped it was $5m per installation!

12
0

Microsoft vows to bridge phones to PCs, and this time it means it. Honest.

getHandle

Sounds like a program I used to have

Remote P800 for my Sony Ericsson, a decade and a half ago!

6
0

Microsoft's latest Windows 10 update downs Chrome, Cortana

getHandle

GIMP is pretty good

As a linux-based alternative to Photoshop...

22
31

if dev == woman then dont_be(asshole): Stack Overflow tries again to be more friendly to non-male non-pasty coders

getHandle

Non-pasty

Who brought the Cornish into this?? They'll be whinging on next... Actually, they won't, but the job will be done dreckly.

7
0

What the @#$%&!? Microsoft bans nudity, swearing in Skype, emails, Office 365 docs

getHandle

Re: WTF!

Time for another dried frog pill?

5
15

AI software that can reproduce like a living thing? Yup, boffins have only gone and done it

getHandle

Self-replication

So they've added a call to "cp -R *"?

7
0

Identifying planets with machine learning, dirty AI searches, and OpenAI scholarships

getHandle

You may consider the link SFW

But I'd fully expect a visit from IT or HR if I go surfing youporn.com at work...

2
0

Pasties in SPAAAAACE: Cornwall hopes for slice of £50m spaceport cash

getHandle

"..located in the area around Newquay airport and Goonhilly..."

That's one big spaceport, given they're 30 miles apart!!

12
0

Data science before algorithms, declares Bosch's new top techie

getHandle

Re: I wonder

I generally reserve the hand gestures for the 5th and following sods who "just slip through as you're stopped anyway"...

1
1

KFC: Enemy of waistlines, AI, arteries and logistics software

getHandle

DARTS: Deceiving Autonomous Cars with Toxic Signs

Um, that's not really how acronyms work...

11
0

UK mobile customers face inflation-busting price hike

getHandle

Re: Abuse

GiffGaff do a great deal for £10/month - 3GB data, loads of minutes and texts - with no contract!

15
0

BOFH: We want you to know you have our full support

getHandle

Re: Deja Vu

And many other comment sections on El Reg articles...

16
0

As Facebook pushes yet more fake articles, one news editor tells Mark to get a grip – or Zuck off

getHandle

WTF?

Who the hell goes to Facebook for their news??

43
2

The blockchain era is here but big biz, like most folk, hasn't a clue what to do with it

getHandle

Re: I think "why?" should be the first question.

I thought this was quite a good read: https://hackernoon.com/ten-years-in-nobody-has-come-up-with-a-use-case-for-blockchain-ee98c180100

2
1

TalkTalk starts offering punters choice to shift-shift to O2

getHandle

Re: The beginning of the end .....

Our TalkTalk broadband has been reliable and reasonably priced, but phoning them has been immensely frustrating. How can a Telco have such bad lines??

And you know they're offshored when they struggle to understand an English accent... Actually, I think I just answered my first question!

Trouble is, who is good value and provides good customer service?

6
0

Firms pushing devices at teachers that let kids draw... on a screen? You BETT

getHandle

And your kid will come out thinking half-a-dozen copy-pasted lines of Python is "programming"

Isn't that why Stack Overflow exists?? ;-)

4
0

Wave Tata, Capita: You've lost mega-contract to rival outsourcer

getHandle
FAIL

"Capita ... said it still administers 15 million policies"

And bloody useless they are at it, by most accounts! https://www.bma.org.uk/connecting-doctors/the_practice/b/weblog/posts/capita-and-the-nhs-pension-fiasco-what-is-going-on

10
0

Self-driving cars still do not exist even if we think they do

getHandle

Re: Until a car...

That's not how the ACC in my Golf reacts to people cutting in - it's actually very well designed and reacts rather smoothly. Much more so than my reaction to being cut up...

23
1

Swiss cheesed off after Apple store iPhone does Samsung Galaxy Note 7 impersonation

getHandle

"Where am I, what am I? Oh, I'm an iPhone! Noooo!! Goodbye cruel world!"

32
0

If you won't use your brain our machine will use it for you, Nissan tells drivers

getHandle

Sheesh

Round here drivers' brains struggle to keep up with reality, so a car second-guessing their intentions sounds like an accident waiting to happen!

7
0

Do you suffer from the shame of 'Scroll Jank'? Help is at your fingertips

getHandle

Re: What about scroll anchoring?

This! Very much this - especially on mobile.

8
0

Microsoft to rebuild Redmond campus, including cricket pitch

getHandle

Softy McSoftface?

Sorry, someone had to...

8
0

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