nav search
Data Centre Software Security DevOps Business Personal Tech Science Emergent Tech Bootnotes
BOFH
Lectures

* Posts by defiler

767 posts • joined 18 Oct 2010

Qualcomm still serious about Windows 10 on Arm: Engineers work on '12W' Snapdragon 1000

defiler
Silver badge

Re: Targeting Win-10-nic is a mistake

It's a reference to the Titanic, you know, icebergs ahead, but "all ah[...]

You know, if it takes that long to explain then it's not very good.

Also, Bob, it's this dogmatic attachment to these silly names, and totally blinkered refusal to accept that there may be any redeeming features in there at all, that make me feel slightly tainted every time I actually agree with your opinion on something.

Soften up, man. Have a nice cup of tea and a Jaffa cake to calm you down.

11
1

Atari accuses El Reg of professional trolling and making stuff up. Welp, here's the interview tape for you to decide...

defiler
Silver badge

I know it's late in the day for this comment, but it just amused me greatly that I've just had a sidebar advert on this very website inviting me to the Indiegogo page for the Atari VCS.

Did I click? Of course I did! Did I buy? Ummm - nope.

0
0
defiler
Silver badge

Re: Poor Mike

...we have every faith that you can...

Got it in one. It's surprising how many people have every faith in my ability to achieve the ludicrous. I do feel for Mike.

3
0

Have YOU had your breakfast pint? Boffins confirm cheeky daily tipple is good for you

defiler
Silver badge

alcohol consumption is declining in the UK, and fastest among Millennials

That's because they seem to reckon a pint of dry hops constitutes "craft beer" and some sort of ideal that brewers should aim for. And it's generally awful.

I'm not against a decent beer, and I've enjoyed the local brew in many a CAMRA-registered pub, but some of the crap that seems to be fashionable these days... At some point you have to sit back and think "I'd be better with a Tennents."

7
0

UK footie fans furious as Sky Broadband goes TITSUP: Total inability to stream unfair penalties

defiler
Silver badge

Re: fathers day unbearable

Always on internet should be just what it says, lack of service should result in a automatic refund for the whole region affected.

And how do you monitor that? What constitutes a loss of service? BGP reconvergence takes maybe 30 seconds - are you going to refund people for 30 seconds on that one or the whole day?

And, dare I say it, we're talking about cheap consumer lines. If constant uninterrupted internet access is essential to you, you put in two lines from different providers, and you get contracts with stringent SLAs. But that's not cheap enough for you, so things like this happen. And it's fair to say that things like this only really happen occasionally.

Besides which, on the two occasions that my Plusnet line went off (once during upgrade to FTTC, and once due to a fault), I hooked my phone into my computer for my essential stuff. Streaming the football, whilst important to many, is hardly mission-critical.

8
2
defiler
Silver badge

Re: fathers day unbearable with no internet

In fairness his kids might be dicks.

I blame the parents.

30
0

Ailing ZX Spectrum reboot firm kicks crisis meeting into long grass

defiler
Silver badge

Hey! I'll beat you senseless with my Game Gear.

And when I put batteries in it, it'll *really* hurt!

16
0
defiler
Silver badge

To the barn!

Honestly, the horse is sick. It only has two legs, and one of those has a wonky knee. Whilst I love to see (what appears to be) institutional corporate lying exposed to the light of day, this one really just needs to be taken away and put to sleep.

Shame because it could have been really cool.

I wonder if the designs will appear in the liquidation sale. Or better the tooling (ha!)

5
0

Now Microsoft ports Windows 10, Linux to homegrown CPU design

defiler
Silver badge

Re: GIGO

Remember that Office has >90% market share. There are decent alternatives too.

By that reasoning, either the world is on fire, or office just isn't all that bad. (And yes, I also dislike the whole ribbon thing...)

6
4

Boffins offer to make speculative execution great again with Spectre-Meltdown CPU fix

defiler
Silver badge

Re: Hard as I try... (@ GrumpyOldBloke)

...and somehow force the OS to...

I love when people propose a "solution" and use the word "somehow" in it.

It's like "we've totally got this flying car sorted out - we just need to somehow develop an antigravity paint, and some way of stopping people crashing into each other..."

4
0

Universal Credit has never delivered bang for buck, but now there's no turning back – watchdog

defiler
Silver badge

Re: The government position:

Then again, we voted for them.

Well, you wouldn't want the wrong lizard to get in, would you?

9
0

Office 365 celebrates National Beer Day by popping out for a pint

defiler
Silver badge

Re: Speaking of "matey" error messages

I'm wondering if it's the same one person that's downvoted all of these. And if they're the person responsible...

8
0
defiler
Silver badge

Funnily enough, we're fine.

Oh yeah. That's because we run our own Exchange servers with site failover. Hmm...

2
0
defiler
Silver badge

But only on a leap year.

1
0

User spent 20 minutes trying to move mouse cursor, without success

defiler
Silver badge

Re: Sun optical mice, circa 1985

There was a special mouse pad with horizontal and vertical lines on it.

Yep, and if you rotated the pad by 90 degrees the mouse would only work intermittently in one direction. It's amazing how many Computer Science undergrads gave up on them.

5
0

Intel chip flaw: Math unit may spill crypto secrets from apps to malware

defiler
Silver badge

Presumably then you'll be digging up your old 486 from the cupboard

Not necessarily. I read it that he accepts that what he has is flawed, but has no choice in the matter. He'll just not buy a replacement until the flaws are fixed.

On the other hand, waiting for a bug-free <item> is going to be an awfully long wait.

5
0

Microsoft loves Linux so much its R Open install script rm'd /bin/sh

defiler
Silver badge

Re: Today's story...

Replace cmd with powershell

Nah - Powershell is pretty powerful (although I confess I find it awkward). Replace cmd with command.com instead! Wheee!!

8
0

Da rude sand storm seizes the Opportunity, threatens to KO rover

defiler
Silver badge

Re: A place in history

My WATCH has 50x the CPU horsepower of these rovers so to be able to make these Mars rovers actually WORK, took some SERIOUS engineering prowess!

Not especially. They just didn't fill them with shite. Unlike your watch.

Ah, the things we used to do with 25MHz, when I was a lad... I'm off to stew carrots or whatever old people do these days. Probably go on lots of holidays.

26
0

Men are officially the worst… top-level domain

defiler
Silver badge

Re: EastEnders

Oof - it's too early for jokes as ropey as that! Still, well done.

4
0

Computer Misuse Act charge against British judge thrown out

defiler
Silver badge

Judge Dredd

Judge Dredd could access what he wanted, when he wanted, how he wanted. And then sort out the naysayers with his Lawgiver. Pah!

1
0

Nominet throws out US corp's attempt to seize Brit domain names

defiler
Silver badge

Tucows One Goat?

Doesn't bear thinking about... :-/

7
0

PETA calls for fish friendly Swedish street signage

defiler
Silver badge

Re: I think I'll have some veil

What are you going to do with the rest of the bride?

Giggety!

12
0

ICO smites Bible Society, well fines it £100k...

defiler
Silver badge

Re: ICO hatred

Why fine an organisation which is obviously not a profit making organisation such a large amount of money.

Please tell me exactly why the personal information of the 400000+ individuals affected is worth less than 25p each.

14
2

Monday: Intel touts 28-core desktop CPU. Tuesday: AMD turns Threadripper up to 32

defiler
Silver badge

Re: Maths co-processor?

a computer built with expandability in mind, like my Amiga

Don't get me wrong, the Amiga was indeed an awesome computer in its day. My Archimedes could do most of what the Amiga did in hardware, but in software. But that's only most. The thing that (to my understanding) broke the Amiga was that Workbench had some nasty bugs on memory allocation. It wouldn't check if the memory was available before allocating it (or something like that), so you had to verify it and constantly micromanage malloc(). So people just dropped Workbench and programmed to the metal.

So far so good, but when the metal changed (AGA, anyone?) half the bloody software stopped. The software worked perfectly on only one iteration of the hardware. So when better silicon became available (and the support chips in the Amiga had some fairly tight memory limits, for example), they just couldn't deploy it without breaking the user base. So whilst it may have been expandable in some directions, it wasn't easily upgradable.

At least when the MEMC1a allocated RAM it was your bloody RAM to use. :D

Shame really. I never had an Amiga myself, but sometimes I'd quite like one. And most of the best Archimedes games were Amiga ports :)

5
0
defiler
Silver badge

Re: Maths co-processor?

Harumph. Some of us had to pry out our ARM2 CPUs and put ARM3 daughterboards in to get the FPA socket before we could even think of floating point copros... With the speed of FPEm, is it any wonder I learned to use integers with a liberal sprinkling of LSL and LSR?

Oh, and can I borrow that mobility scooter? My UPS needs new batteries.

15
0
defiler
Silver badge

Re: Perhaps AMD will be kind enough

Oh for fuck's sake. I'm getting tired of the bitching around here regarding "oh noes my CPU is not secure!!"

You know the stuff that you're talking about is (for the most part) ludicrously complex and obscure. The CPU designers have had a shake and realised that this is a valid attack vector. They will now proceed to figure out ways of plugging these holes, and we'll all be happy if they can do it without dropping speed. The milk has been spilt, and the tearful little boy has been told to be careful in future - there's no point in dragging the fucking thing on and on. I really hope you don't have kids before you learn this.

Also, I will be pounds to pennies that when you went CPU shopping you had a pretty short list of requirements:

1) Will it run my software?

2) Is it cheap enough for me?

3) Is it the fastest I can get for the money?

4) Is it going to burn my house down or make the electricity meter spin like a top?

5) Will it work with all the other bits I've got?

I bet security did not even factor into it for even one second. But now there's a public hoo-ha? Give it a rest.

33
2

Mailshot meltdown as Wessex Water gets sweary about a poor chap called Tom

defiler
Silver badge

That's one for those of us of a certain age... Upvoted.

13
0

UK's first transatlantic F-35 delivery flight delayed by weather

defiler
Silver badge

Re: Carriers??

So in rough numbers, each F35B will be available just over half of the time.

Do we get to choose which half? I choose "landing".

6
1

Dual-screen laptops debut at Asus' Computex chat

defiler
Silver badge

I could honestly see a two-screen laptop work well for a FPS, with an overhead map on the lower screen.

Ah - like the VMU on the Dreamcast? I don't think they ever did a map on that, but rather stuff like ammo counts instead. Higher resolution would fix that though.

1
0
defiler
Silver badge

Re: It's sooo shiny and super lit!

Weren't the last round of "super lit" laptops diagnosed as faulty batteries from Sony?

And then there were the "super lit" Galaxy Note 7s.

I once opened a server to find a DLink NIC in the process of becoming "super lit" inside, too, but that was nothing compared to when the electricity meter in the office became "super lit". Good times...

2
0
defiler
Silver badge

The only reasonable use I can think of for it is as a toolbox window for graphical applications. Your Photoshops, Gimps, AutoCADs etc. That'll give you a separate display where you can select tools and effects without having them obscure the main display.

It's not something that I really want, but I daresay others could be swayed if there were software support for it. The question, of course, is are there enough people (more imaginative than me) who can see the potential, coupled with enough people with deep pockets to buy into it?

1
0

Intel claims it’s halved laptop display power slurpage

defiler
Silver badge

Re: all-day battery life

contributing to WHAT?!

To TEH BLOCKCHAINZ!!™

3
1

'Moore's Revenge' is upon us and will make the world weird

defiler
Silver badge

Re: A chip in everything...

5 years is nothing like the acceptable lifetime of a TV or fridge, imho.

It may not be the "acceptable" lifetime, but my telly is away for a warranty repair at 4 years old and it seems that they're unable to find a replacement screen panel for it.

I like the telly and I don't want to replace it, but that may be the way it's going here...

(My old Panny plasma screen lasted >11 years before it went kaput. The replacement LG went for 14 months and wound up as landfill when it croaked - cheaper to replace.)

4
0

Russian battery ambitions see a 10x increase in power from smaller, denser nukes

defiler
Silver badge

Re: As predicted (again)

verifying ID and age

Presumably you'd use the half-life of the fissile source to verify the age of the neck in question?

6
0
defiler
Silver badge

Re: Other pacemaker solution...

I'd not want it running out if I was bedridden!

Sleep in a watch winder - easy.

Bloody hell - I have to solve everything...

26
0

Foolish foodies duped into thinking Greggs salads are posh nosh

defiler
Silver badge

Deep fried curly-wurly

I can see that working. Last I spoke at length on the subject it was deep fried Maltesers, which sound surprisingly amazing!

0
0
defiler
Silver badge

in a small town in Scotland

Was it deep fried? If not, it was probably an Englishman in the kitchen. I once watched somebody deep fry and eat a lettuce. Us Scots deep fry everything - even ice cream.

... Suddenly I want to watch Comfort and Joy...

14
1
defiler
Silver badge

rustlers microwave burgers

The disappointment of the drop in performance (0-tasty time went from 60 to 70 seconds) is only exceeded by the disappointment of the flavour...

2
0

If you have cash to burn, racks to fill, problems to brute-force, Nvidia has an HGX-2 for you

defiler
Silver badge

Pick two

cash to burn, racks to fill, problems to brute-force

Is this a "pick two" scenario? 'Cos I don't have money to burn... :(

7
0

Police block roads to stop tech support chap 'robbing a bank'

defiler
Silver badge

Re: Also watch out for hidden alarms

@derfer

I saw your name there and thought "I don't remember writing / doing that"... I'm glad it's the end of the week today. I think I need a break.

14
0

Senator Kennedy: Why I cast my Senate-busting vote for net neutrality

defiler
Silver badge

Re: Cable is for television....

Now that's using your noodle. That's bold, dynamic and forward-thinking. The sort of thing that the French, for example, wouldn't come up with over their backwards comms. And that's because they don't have a word for entrepreneur.

4
1

FBI's flawed phone tally blamed on programming error. 7,800 unbreakable mobes? Er, um...

defiler
Silver badge

Re: Is it significant ...

"What you're asking is plain impossible."

If you tell them it's impossible, you don't get funds to try to make it work. And if you tell them that it's really, really hard then you get even more funds.

These people have mortgages to pay and empires to build too, you know?

19
0
defiler
Silver badge

Left some numpty with Excel

Used * instead of + somewhere...

(No, not sum() - that's too clever.)

6
0

Tech support made the news after bomb squad and police showed up to 'defuse' leaky UPS

defiler
Silver badge

The Dump

To be fair, we call it The Tip around here. It's actually a site with big containers for sorting different types of waste into, including small electrical items, TVs, batteries, glass, wood, metal etc etc. Only a couple of the containers are actually for landfill, which is a separate location.

1
0
defiler
Silver badge

Re: We shut down central Edinburgh with a fridge

Still used in refrigeration, yes. Not, however, used in domestic refrigerators.

Well, I can't say for certain that it was ammonia. As I say, it smelled like ammonia (having tinkered with such at high school), but I didn't keep my pocket gas chromatograph handy! :)

Fire brigade didn't say what it was other than throwing the fridge out the door and pointing angrily at it as if it was us who'd chosen to waste everyone's time...

1
0

Undocumented alien caught stealing orbits in our Solar System

defiler
Silver badge

Rama

We were all thinking it.

1
0

Look how modern we are! UK network Three to kill off 3G-only phones

defiler
Silver badge

Re: Forward thinking?

Vodafone intercept and actively prohibit SIP VoIP over their data network, whether under their own brand, or under the brand of a MVNO such as Talkmobile.

We had that for a long time. SIP worked just fine on O2 but not on Vodafone. Had a wee word with our phone reseller (small company) and they fixed it right up. So it can be done. I doubt you'll get anywhere speaking to Vodafone directly, though. I know I didn't..

Anyway, our own SIP PBX is now usable on our Vodafone SIMs.

0
0

Brit ISPs get their marker pens out: Speed advertising's about to change

defiler
Silver badge

Re: Yes

Which? tested the speed of WiFi in the house, their result (26% of 200Mbps) is the slowest link in the chain

I'd laugh it they'd used 802.11g...

Sorry, world, but WiFi is just no good for speed testing. Sure, it's convenient. Sure, I use it constantly. But when you need speed and stability you can't beat shoving a bit of copper in there, unless you're shoving glass in instead.

2
0

US Congress mulls expanding copyright yet again – to 144 years

defiler
Silver badge

Re: The current scheme is not too bad.

Seems pretty same to me.

Sane. Stupid posting on stupid phone...

1
0

The Register - Independent news and views for the tech community. Part of Situation Publishing