nav search
Data Center Software Security Transformation DevOps Business Personal Tech Science Emergent Tech Bootnotes BOFH

* Posts by Pen-y-gors

2436 posts • joined 1 Oct 2010

Engineer named Jason told to re-write the calendar

Pen-y-gors
Silver badge

Re: @Prst. V.Jeltz

@Tigra 07

*"Do you sell parts for a blue car" (Loud headslapping sound followed by laughter)

Shirley not so silly if it's one of those colour-co-ordinated parts - wing mirrors, bumpers etc? But I suppose they should have specified the shade of blue.

4
2
Pen-y-gors
Silver badge

Re: There are two name checks...

@Ramesesetc

Mam, but only in small corners of northern England. Everyone else says 'Mum'

And it's Mam in South Wales!

And of course some say 'Mater' or at least Mummy. And there are pockets of 'Mum' and 'Ma'

9
0
Pen-y-gors
Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: July and August must Go!

@Naselus

A classically educated pedant writes...

you end up with Hendecember and Dodecember

NO! That mixes Greek and Latin. Septem, Octo, Novem, Decem are Latin, Hendecem is a bastard mix of Greek and Latin. ἐνδεκα is eleven in classical Greek, δώδεκα is twelve. Stick to straight Latin and we'd have Undecimber Duodecimber

Yep, still a bit of a mouthful.

58
0

BT, Sky bury hatchet with deal to sell each other's telly channels

Pen-y-gors
Silver badge

BT + TV? Why?

I wish BT would drop this whole silly TV online thing - then they could reduce their prices to something sensible.

9
3

Funnily enough, no, IT admins who trash biz machines can't claim they had permission

Pen-y-gors
Silver badge

Re: This man is obviously a psychotic

Dunno about psychotic, but clearly guilty as hell of something. I question though, whether he's guilty as charged:

The CFAA criminalizes anyone who "knowingly causes the transmission of a program, information, code, or command, and as a result of such conduct, intentionally causes damage without authorization, to a protected computer."

It is very clear to me that that law is specifically written to deal with malware. It would be really stretching things to say that typing "rm -r backups" into the command console is really 'transmission'.

3
4

UK's map maker Ordnance Survey plays with robo roof detector

Pen-y-gors
Silver badge

Re: The Next Stage

Do it properly - put a living roof on the barn - grass, herbs, flowers, shrubs. That would really confuse them.

5
0

Sons of Sun DriveScale tempt cloud-lovers with composable infrastructure rig

Pen-y-gors
Silver badge

"composable infrastructure rig"

I initially read that as 'compostable infrastructure rig' - making hardware out of surplus food waste?

Should have gone to Specsavers.

3
0

Critical US mass spying program scrutiny lost amid partisan nonsense

Pen-y-gors
Silver badge

But shirley...

If it's okay for USians to intercept the communications of non-USians without a warrant (or even with one, as US courts and Govt have no jurisdiction outside the US, contrary to popular US Govt belief), then it's equally okay for non-USians to intercept the communications of USians. So presumably anyone hacking US computers (without actually changing things) is acting perfectly legally under non-US law. So no extradition for hacking?

10
1

At Christmas, do you give peas a chance? Go cold turkey? What is the perfect festive feast?

Pen-y-gors
Silver badge

Fowl is optional

And I don't mean have a nut-roast instead.

It's just that the fowl (usually turkey) is the most boring bit. Ideal Xmas dinner is:

Stuffing

Bread Sauce

Cranberry sauce

Gravy

Sprouts (lots)

Roasties (done the way Auntie Delia says)

A couple of boiled new spuds

Pigs in blankets

Maybe some carrots

These days I might be persuaded by a few small sweet parsnips as well.

And blazing pud + brandy butter to follow.

3
0
Pen-y-gors
Silver badge

Re: Goose

No.

They go with roast beef.

And isn't a problem with goose that your kitchen ends up ankle deep in goose fat?

6
6

Why is Wikipedia man Jimbo Wales keynoting a fake news conference?

Pen-y-gors
Silver badge

No it's not!

Wales is represented by The Celebrity Group and can be rented – see here for fees.

Get it right! Wales is represented by the Welsh Government in Cardiff, Prime Minister: Carwyn Jones. And it isn't for rent or for sale - well, apart from small bits for a week at a time.

14
0

Millions of moaners vindicated: Man flu is 'a thing', says researcher, and big TVs are cure

Pen-y-gors
Silver badge

Re: Expect better than this from the reg

And you should remember that, on the whole, the commentards at El Reg tend to have well-developed critical and analytical skills and take great delight in pulling this sort of research apart - it';s a pleasant change from real work.

Unlike readers of the Fail/Excess etc. who will happily believe that scientists have shown that coating your elbows with rancid camel dung will cure cancer/make Brexit a success/find Maddie McCann

Being really PC and right-on I'll refrain from referring to Mr Sue's alma mater, and linking it to the jokes that I believe the northern neighbours of the USians make about Newfoundlanders. (Think Ireland and Kerryman jokes)

14
3
Pen-y-gors
Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: Britishese to Americanese

I keep writing them with helpful new words,

I think you'll find that should be 'writing to them'!

20
0
Pen-y-gors
Silver badge

Re: Pretty conclusive?

"men......exhibit a higher mortality"

I think you'll find that (long-term) mortality in both men and women is close to, probably exactly, the same. i.e. 100%.

Selective editing is a no-no!

23
3
Pen-y-gors
Silver badge

A doctor writes...

From the South Wales Daily Post, September 1895

"EXCELSIOR SCOTCH WHISKY. "We have examined analytically the blend of Scotch Whisky, and find it to be unusually pure, of excellent flavour, and well matured. Recommended with confidence as a safe and palatable stimulant for the sick and convalescent." The Practitioner Ed. T LAUDE BRUNTON, M.D., LL.D., &c. SOLE PROPRIETORS MARGRAVE BROS., LLANELLY. "Perfection of Blended Whisky."The Lancet

Other docs preferred Irish:

Merthyr Telegraph 1872

"DUNVILLE & Co., Belfast, are the largest holders of whisky in the world. Their old Irish Whisky is recommended by the medical profession in preference to French brandy. Supplied in casks and cases for home use or exportation"

I like the idea of a cask for home use...

(Can we have a wee dram icon?)

27
0

Archive of 1.4 BEEELLION credentials in clear text found in dark web archive

Pen-y-gors
Silver badge

Re: Such an enigma...

There are good reasons - biometric ID and passwords are very different creatures.

Biometrics mean that a known individual is accessing the system (assuming no-one's used the old cutting-off-the-finger trick, or the old R.Austin Freeman 'Red Thumb' method for faking fingerprints, written in 1907)

Passwords mean that someone with the password is accessing the system. So you can give your password to someone else if you want. And a good defence is that someone must have intercepted your password or shoulder-surfed you in an Internet cafe.

3
0

Juno's July fly-by gave NASA a close-up of the Great Red Spot

Pen-y-gors
Silver badge

Re: JUNO,

It's there, you just can't hear it. It's called 'the music of the spheres'.

10
0

US authorities issue strongly worded warnings about crypto-investments

Pen-y-gors
Silver badge

Nah, it's perfectly believable.

I refer @ratfox to previous posts on the subject, listing a long history of global gullibility, including black tulips, south sea bubbles, the Wall Street Crash and Welsh silver and lead mines.(Actually, I don't know if anyone has mentioned the mines before, but trust me, many gullible/greedy people lost a lot of money - my book on the subject should be out next year, very reasonably priced)

The human race has a distressingly large number of people who are both greedy and stupid, and who never learn from history. I blame the government.

15
0
Pen-y-gors
Silver badge

Like a hawk?

Glad they're monitoring things like a hawk. Hawks are renowned for their excellent eyesight and can see little mice in the grass from a great height. Sadly they're not very good at seeing moving electrons in cyber-space as a bit-chain grows to exploding point.

5
0

Bitcoin price soars amid technical troubles for exchanges

Pen-y-gors
Silver badge

My only worry

Is that some of my pension funds may have decided to buy in to BTC.

4
0
Pen-y-gors
Silver badge

Re: Nothing new...

Not a bad joke, comes into the 'sad but true' category.

+1

4
1

The search for the 'next billion' users also targets the first billion

Pen-y-gors
Silver badge

Re: "The Registe..aware of Asian nations..the likes of WhatsApp have become utterly ubiquitous"

Given the number of Spanish speakers (and other minority languages) in the USA it's amazing that they have no concept of multi-lingual software, or in fact, that there are any differences between the USA and Restoftheworldland.

A relevant story. I used to work for a large insurance company based in Switzerland. The CEO was persuaded that we needed a wonderful new motor insurance system from a US company. Merkin calls in to demo it. Of course it's all hard-coded English. But it looks slick and sexy. Then the underwriters ask to be shown how they customise the rating system, to allow for all the different 'points' etc, based on age of driver, type of car, annual use, type of use etc. "What do you mean?" was the answer

In the land of free-enterprise capitalism it seems that the state decides what price people pay for insurance. That's it. No premium calculations by the insurer. And the designers of this software had no idea that that system didn't apply globally. We didn't buy it.

3
0
Pen-y-gors
Silver badge

Re: Lands of rotten roads and slow connections setting the agenda

Na, I think more just the UK. We used to complain about constant roadworks everywhere, slowing traffic. Now it's the lack of roadworks to fix all the potholes that's slowing things.

I won't mention slow connections as Openreach bod is outside installing my fibre at this very instant!

0
0

Muzzle our public watchdog much? UK.gov Data Protection Bill adds affect the ICO

Pen-y-gors
Silver badge

Usual govt approach

1. Law is ruled unlawful

2. Propose new law that is lawful (just)

3. Write sneaky last-minute amendment that effectively undoes all the changes

4. Hope to pass it in Lords Committee

5. Business as usual

6. Result!

14
0

Nokia 8: As pure as the driven Android - it's a classy return

Pen-y-gors
Silver badge

Sounds nice

Does what it needs to do. The days of the sub-£300 generic (like the 1+One) have gone down the plug'ole along with the value of the pound, so £399 for a serious bit ol kit is just about bearable. I shall watch with interest.

But WTF is a live bokeh?

17
2

Once again, UK doesn't rule out buying F-35A fighter jets

Pen-y-gors
Silver badge

It'd be more expensive than just buying Bs. Why do this???

Because they can?

0
0

Investigatory Powers Act: You're not being paranoid. UK.gov really is watching you

Pen-y-gors
Silver badge

Start again

It will always be lipstick on a pig until we have people drafting laws and setting government policy who actually believe in the laws and policies. In this case people who believe, deep in the core of their being, that personal liberty is a good thing. Unfortunately we have people who believe the opposite and so are trying to get away with as little obstruction to their verging-on-fascist dreams as possible.

28
1

Is Oomi the all-in-one smart home system we've been waiting for?

Pen-y-gors
Silver badge

A luddite writes...

@Thogut

Errrm...why?

0
0
Pen-y-gors
Silver badge

Re: One small concern

@Charles 9

Since when are security and ease of use tied to the laws of physics?

It's all to do with quantum.

The weakness with your example is the glass window a few feet away, which means security is an illusion, and ease of use is compromised when you lose your keys while out for a walk. (At which point you welcome the window).

Ease of use? Don't lock the door - but then security is imperfect (but may actually be perfectly adequate in a bothy in the Western Isles)

Security? Weld a steel plate over the doorway and all the windows. Then it's easy to sleep in the garden shed.

Yep, One or the other.

4
2
Pen-y-gors
Silver badge

@kmac499

Some good use cases. And once I'm older and more decrepit I may want something like this, but for now they're not really needed by the mainstream

And when I AM o & d I'd prefer to have something simple and solid that lasts until they put me in my box, and which doesn't need upgrading/replacing every couple of years.

10
0
Pen-y-gors
Silver badge

Re: One small concern

@Chuck IX

"Security or ease of use - pick one."

Why can't we have both at the same time?

Heisenberg? Ye canna cheat the laws of physics Cap'n

11
1

WW2 Enigma machine to be seized from shamed pharma bro Shkreli

Pen-y-gors
Silver badge

Re: Is this what we're doing now?

No, seize the illegal gains of criminals to try to compensate the poor sods their solipsistic world view hurt.

Something we should be doing more often I suspect, but more as a 'punishment fit the crime' rather than simple compensation. Rich bastards who rob the poor should have all their assets frozen, be given a job picking sprouts in the Fens, and forced to live on their wages for a couple of years. Much cheaper than prison, and they might learn something useful.

31
0
Pen-y-gors
Silver badge

Re: Fail

@Oh Homer

Please let this psychopath die in prison

IANAS(hrink) - is psychopath the correct term? Sociopath certainly. One of the slimiest creatures to walk God's earth, ditto. And he's not helped by that permanent nasty smug grin he has, but that doesn't make him a psychopath.

11
0
Pen-y-gors
Silver badge

Re: Enigma

@AC

so the name on your birth certificate is really "D. Bear"

Not impossible - I seem to remember a Mr De Beere made quite a lot of money mining rocks

19
0

Ex-cop who 'kept private copies of data' fingers Cabinet Office minister in pr0nz at work claims

Pen-y-gors
Silver badge

Going down, going down, going down...

The bent copper I mean, not Green.

Making copies of data and release confidential information about an investigation is a very, very serious offence. Whilst few people really trust the plods these days, who in their right mind would trust them with any 'embarassing-but-legal' information during an investigation? This is an attack on the roots of our legal system and has to be severely punished, in the same way as perjury is. Jail time.

Yes, I know it's all rather entertaining though, couldn't happen to a nicer party etc. Of course, the pictures may be perfectly innocuous, but under his bosses definition of 'porn' a photo of a peaceful forest landscape with a couple of squirrels at it in the branches would count as extreme animal porn.

43
1

Dawn of The Planet of the Phablets in 2019 will see off smartphones

Pen-y-gors
Silver badge

If it fits in the pocket of my jeans...

it's a phone. If it won't it's a tablet, with or without a ph

9
0

Why does no one want to invest in full fibre broadband, wails UK.gov

Pen-y-gors
Silver badge

Í do not understand

What do they mean? Lack of full fibre network? Openreach are turning up to connect my FTTP next week. If they can do that in the wilds of Wales I assume they've already connected up all the towns and cities. Haven't they?

Okay, I'm still pissed off with the costs - BT Business are £150 for 300mbps, BT Residential are £80, so I'm stuck on a basic 80mbps connection until BTBiz get their pricing act together, but 30mbps upload? Mmmmm....nice.

0
0

The six simple questions Facebook refused to answer about its creepy suicide-detection AI

Pen-y-gors
Silver badge

Trust?

Trust is everything. And I wouldn't trust FB to detect that I wanted another cup of coffee.

On a practical level, if you're feeling down, get a couple of kittens.

9
3
Pen-y-gors
Silver badge

Re: Other applications?

You may have something there. Not so much sending round the re-education squads as at least identifying them for future action. Re-education would be a waste of time and money - if they haven't clocked by now that Brexit is a really, really bad idea, then no amount of 'education' is likely to work. (I liked today's comment from someone - instead of spending £50 billion on Brexit, let's dump Brexit and spend it on the NHS)

But if we have a list of the names then once Brexit has been canned we can decide what to do with them. There are many options:

1) Send them daily postcards and tweets saying 'You lost, get over it'

2) Ditto "It's the will of the people"

3) Banned for life from voting, due to clear and demonstrable mental incapacity

4) Transportation for life to New Botany Bay (East Falkland)

8
10

Military test centre for frikkin' laser cannon opens in Hampshire

Pen-y-gors
Silver badge

Re: Black paint?

Of course periodic repainting is needed.

Probably not - after the first time it's hit by a laser rangefinder, the weapon owner is unlikely to be in a position to do any DIY. Which in fact makes one wonder about the whole premise - if someone has just got a fix on you, a whiff of toxic gas is likely to be the least of your worries.

3
0
Pen-y-gors
Silver badge

Re: Simpler still

What, pray, is wrong with sounding a bit mediæval (FTFY)? Or Sir Walter Scott?

Sounding mediæval is a sign of a broad education. Unless you're Rees-Moggie in which it merely shows that your sense of values hasn't evolved beyond the 18th Century.

25
1

UK emergency crews get 4G smartmobes as monkeys attempt to emerge from Reg's butt

Pen-y-gors
Silver badge

Coverage

Currently only 70 per cent of the UK's landmass is covered by British mobile operator EE's 4G network. This needs to be increased to 97 per cent to match Airwave's coverage.

Obviously this will happen in the very near future. Yippee - there is a magic money tree after all!

10
1

Abolish the Telly Tax? Fat chance, say MPs at non-binding debate

Pen-y-gors
Silver badge

Do we really need that many "comedy" panel shows stuffed with left wing comedians.

Strangely, there aren't many right wing comedians around, and the ones that were weren't actually funny, merely offensive. Could be because good comedy is often based on looking at reality and questioning it, and tends to involve quite bright people. Hence no kippers.

14
7
Pen-y-gors
Silver badge

@disgusted

The implication being from the BBC that brexit is bad

Errrm...maybe that's because Brexit is bad?

12
8
Pen-y-gors
Silver badge

Re: @ Dave Filesystem

If the BBC didnt have the TV tax it would either vanish as a colossal failure or cut down to what people actually want to use. Their fear of the real world is justified.

Quite agree. And we should also abolish tax on fags and booze, and VAT on sugary foods and drinks. That's what people actually want.

Also I don't want to use a Trident. Does that mean we should pay for WMDs on a subscription basis?

Sometimes it is in the interest of society as a whole to do things which individuals may not fully appreciate. Public education is one of those things.

11
7
Pen-y-gors
Silver badge

news channel is awful far left leaning propaganda

Have you seen RT? That's realpropaganda.

My biggest whinge about BBC news is not that they don't understand what offering a fair and balanced view means, and what their duty is to their viewers. Balanced when discussing climate change does not mean giving equal time to a respected scientist and a loonie like Nigel Lawson. When it comes to politics they should tear into everyone, asking them really difficult questions, not giving them all an easy ride and letting them lie with a straight face - challenge them on everything.

10
1
Pen-y-gors
Silver badge

Re: Telly Tax or Adverts

I also pay my tv licence, subscribe to sky/netflix/Amazon Prime and hold a season ticket for my football team because I'm not a scrote who expects everything for free.

Fair dos! But you must be very, very wealthy!

10
0
Pen-y-gors
Silver badge

Re: Threatogram received from Crapita today

Dunno about threats, I'll watch this space as a couple of months ago I informed them that I had stopped watching TV (which is true - damn all worth watching, and I was wasting too much of my life channel hoping in the hope of finding something to watch)

Only irritation is that I am an honest citizen so I don't watch anything on iPlayer, even when there is the occasional odd program of interest - and I can't watch S4C on catch-up as that's on iPlayer too.

I'll just stick to the Grand Sumo highlights on catch-up on NHK world.

4
0

Uber: Hackers stole 57m passengers, drivers' info. We also bribed the thieves $100k to STFU

Pen-y-gors
Silver badge

Re: No cards stolen?

Quite probably separate incidents. Dodgy drivers who note the card details? Sexual assault isn't all they get up to.

The only time I've had a card scammed involved a taxi (pre-Uber days). Used my online card to order some spare parts for a kettle, didn't come, cancelled order. Few weeks later I apparently used the card to pay £60 for a taxi somewhere in Kent. Hadn't been there for years! Obviously got a refund. Obviously reported details to Plods. Obviously they did nothing.

4
0
Pen-y-gors
Silver badge

Re: 'the intruders accessed cloud-hosted data stores'

The incident did not breach our corporate systems or infrastructure.

Yes it did - regardless of whether you store data on a USB stick, a networked server or in the cloud, they're all part of your corporate systems and infrastructure!

23
0

The Register - Independent news and views for the tech community. Part of Situation Publishing