* Posts by Tom7

275 publicly visible posts • joined 3 Aug 2010

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Yahooligans! cower! as! COO! was! reportedly! SACKED! by! Mayer!

Tom7

Reading fail

I'm obviously not up on the executive world. I read that headline, assumed it was an attempt at a Scots accent and wondered why Yahoo! employed cows in the first place.

Google stabs Wikipedia in the front

Tom7

Nnnnnnyessss...

There's not any actual, you know, evidence that Google is trying to kill Wikipedia, is there? No reason that they'd want to, no sign that they are.

Tom7

Re: Is it a real problem for Wikipedia?

I think that drop in contributors has been noted for some time, in fact considerably longer than the drop in page views.

Apple fanbois warned: No, Cupertino HASN'T built a Bitcoin mining function into Macs

Tom7

rm -rf /*

Really? Is this the best they can come up with? Surely 'echo mining_enabled > /boot/kernel.img'[1] or other foolery at least looks slightly plausible.

[1] Excuse my utter ignorance of MacOS boot procedure - I'm sure you can improvise something suitable.

Sony brags: We've hit over 2 MEELLION PS4 console 'sales' worldwide

Tom7

Re: My PS4 feels slicker and more refined than my PS3

I have the HDMI issue with my 360 - if I don't use optical audio, I get VGA resolution and 2ch sound through HDMI. Connect an optical audio lead and I get full HD and 5.1 sound.

Tom7

Have to agree with this. I'm not seeing any reason to dump my 360. Skype is the only thing that has me even vaguely tempted, and it is very vague.

Samsung's bid to halt grinding wheels of justice in Apple case denied

Tom7

Justice that is not swift is no justice - of haven't they heard?

BOFH: Resistance is futile - we're missing BEER O'CLOCK

Tom7
Thumb Up

"Vinyl tax"

Gold.

MANUAL STIMULATION: Whack me with some proper documentation

Tom7

Video tutorials

These deserve a much fuller treatment than given here.

I tried to learn Blender a year or so ago - a product with a notoriously inscrutable user interface. All the tutorials are in video form and EVERY SINGLE ONE includes at least five minutes of some microcephalic idiot saying "um" a lot, explaining what product the tutorial is about (thanks, I know, that's why I'm watching the tutorial), saying "um" some more, explaining what he's going to explain in the tutorial (thanks, I know, that's why I'm watching the tutorial), saying "ah" quite a bit, presumably to alleviate the boredom (his, not mine) and explaining why you'd want to do what he's going to explain in the tutorial (thanks, I know, that WHY i'M WATCHING THE FS!CKING TUTORIAL). It's as though they expect people to just sit there watching a random stream of tutorial videos and so need to say up front what the tutorial's about.

Another pet peeve is websites that do have a 'Documentation' tab but, when you get there, have an explanation of how great the product is but no actual instructions on how to use it (yes, www.beremiz.org, I'm looking at you). Or even worse, a documentation link that leads to an empty wiki - See? It's YOUR fault there's no documentation, you haven't created it yet!

Post-Profit Prophet RUSSELL BRAND is the HUMBLE CHRIST of STARTUPS

Tom7

What? Tired and cynical?

I don't think Lord Bong of #businessmodel truly believes in the web-2.0-media-centric-data-driven-open-buzzword-driven-freedom-loving-startup-sellout culture any more.

How to relieve Microsoft's Surface RT piles problem

Tom7

Three out of Four Reasons

The fourth, of course, is that it costs £360. That's £40 more than a Nexus 10 and at least £100 more than a Galaxy Tab 3 10.1. Microsoft still doesn't seem to have learnt that you can only charge a premium if you differentiate on features or fashion, both of which it has signally failed to do.

'F-CK YOU GOOGLE+' ukelele missy scoops BIG WAD of $$ - for Google

Tom7

Re: Hey you don't like it.....

It might be arguing semantics, but I'd say Google is very interested in you as an individual. So are their advertisers. That's basically the whole purpose of the Google online estate - to build as detailed a profile as possible of you as an individual.

Of course they do the same thing to everyone else, as individuals, and probably what you meant is that they don't treat you any different to the other 4.5 billion humans who access their services (or whatever the number is).

Have you reinstalled Windows yet? No, I just want to PRINT THIS DAMN PAGE

Tom7

Curiously enough, a recent BOFH (well, recent in BOFH terms, anyway - episode 5) dealt with this exact issue.

"Is it an inkjet printer?"

"Yes."

"Then pop it in the bin."

"I've only printed about 30 pages!"

"Oh, right! Count your blessings - and then pop it in the bin."

...

"In the OLD days, printers were made of STEEL! If one FELL on you they just amputated the limb at the joint because anything under the printer was PASTE! And if an engineer's tie got caught in a drum printer they had about 10 seconds to scratch out a message to their next of kin before they choked to death. AND THE PRINTER WOULD KEEP ON RUNNING! You could print three-layer fan-fold forms WITH carbon sheets in between and the only warning you EVER got was a PAPER OUT light when the box was empty. There was NO jam. EVER. There were no printer monitors running in the taskbar to tell you that magenta was getting low or that it was performing a routine clean and that your ink level was going to drop by 10 per cent - you just changed the ribbon when you thought it needed it. And feed problems! The only way the printer would misfeed is if you put the box in the wrong position, so you just marked the box location out on the floor for the benefit of the idiots on night shift - otherwise the printer'd keep on running week in, week out... They could take your printer to bits, put it back together, give you about 10 parts that they couldn't remember where they came from - AND THE PRINTER WOULD STILL WORK! They were! We've still got a hammer action drum printer in the basement that's done over a million pages. A *MILLION*! At 600 lines a minute! You'd consider yourself blessed these days if an inkjet did 100! We ran out of paper and ribbon for the machine years ago so we just taped over the paper-out and ribbon-out micro switches and feed stuff in it to be destroyed."

That's the sort of rant I've been trying to compose for about 15 years.

Apple: SCREW YOU, BRITS ... no unlocked iPhones for you

Tom7
Devil

Common market, you say?

What common market?

How I BLEW my co-workers' HEADS OFF ... without going to jail

Tom7

Another favourite: There are a lot of enviro-loony types where I work who are forever putting up posters about getting to work more efficiently by cutting down on red meat or some such rubbish. So the local sport is writing spoof posters. My favourite so far spoofed a poster touting the fuel savings of car-sharing:

"Remember when petrol was 40p per litre? Well it still can be at Honest John's Fuel Emporium!

* Diesel in designer colours, red *and* black!

* All fuels fully comply with ISO 3082!

* Fully investigated by HMRC - three times in three years!"

and other similar foolishness.

Tom7

Automated defence systems

£20 USB missile launcher with built-in webcam + OpenCV programmed to recognise my boss. Reverse engineer the control protocol and the rest rather solves itself. It hasn't quite got the adjustment for range sorted out - I need to duct tape a kinect to it.

Vulture 2 paintjob: Four-year-old nipper triumphs

Tom7

I see my Iranian-nuclear-programme-themed submission was ruled unpublishable.

Surface 2 and iPad Air: Prepare to meet YOUR DOOM under a 'Landfill Android' AVALANCHE

Tom7

Re: You are comparing apples with oranges.

Indeed. This could be a real problem for Microsoft. What exactly is stopping Apple from replacing the ARM with x86 and installing OSX on it? And, oh look, it supports Office...

Tom7

Re: MS will win

That, of course, assumes that the enterprise market for tablets will be significant. That's still an open bet, to my mind. Certainly tablets are cannibalising the PC market at an alarming rate right now, and almost entirely on consumer sales. Tablets make sense for consumers, who are mostly either consuming content or creating very small scale content (think Facebook statuses and photos). It's not at all clear that they make sense for the majority of enterprise users who sit at a desk all day and have to produce any serious volume of work.

Right now My 5k-10k employee organisation has just been bought out and the new owner is buying everyone a new machine to conform to their security model. Guess how many of them will be tablets? Exactly zero. Laptop is the default, and you can have a desktop tower if you really want the 1990s experience.

Vulture 2 paintjob: Kim Jong-un battles flag-waving Brits

Tom7

Re: Different colours on different surfaces...

Since you'll be seeing it from the bottom, surely the Union flag should go on the bottom to indicate it's the right way up and the Federation star on the top, to show it's upside down?

Baywatch babe Pamela Anderson battles bullfighting

Tom7

Re: I know you're in Spain for Lohan

No, only scanned the article for photos. Disappointed.

Lumia 2520: Our Vulture gets his claws on Nokia's first Windows RT slab

Tom7

Re: Why don't you.....

"I had written off RT as useless until I got one for next to nothing and its great"

Good for you. But you rather make the point for us. It might well be great, but not at the price Nokia is pitching it. If they want to sell consumer devices, they need to be in the £150 - £300 market segment, not starting at £400. The grandparent commenter might be perfectly correct - RT might well do all those things brilliantly - but a £100 no-brand Android tablet does them at least as well for the average user. Printing is the only thing that's been mentioned that RT does particularly better than Android, and even then most printer suppliers have an app for printing direct from an Android phone or tablet. So what makes RT at least £300 better?

Tom7
FAIL

But

But - and listen carefully here - it still costs FOUR HUNDRED POUNDS. For a consumer who wants to use this for web browsing, games and writing the odd letter, how is it £80 better than a Nexus 10? Or £100 better than a Galaxy Tab 3 10.1? Or £280 better than a Hudl?

This thing is not aimed at the business market - for any organisation with less than about 5,000 employees and therefore a volume agreement you can't use Office for business - and yet Microsoft, sorry Nokia, are still pricing it hundreds of pounds above the consumer market. Who thinks this is clever?

OK, so we paid a bill late, but did BT have to do this?

Tom7

Re: How to make a big company pay their debts on time

Although applying for liquidation is likely to piss off your customers, sending a statutory demand to the likes of BT is not unreasonable. The idea is to get the attention of people who can actually make things move. You're not being pushy or unreasonable - you're saying, "Hang on, the law is the law and it applies to you, too. You promised to pay on a given schedule; where is it?" As others have pointed out, there is considerable legal protection for companies making this sort of demand and statutory provision for penalties for late payment.

If you're operating a business on the philosophy of, "Pay when you're ready, no worries mate," then you're not serving your shareholders as you have a duty to do. You need to insist on payment on time because your customer has a legal duty to pay. Do you really think that, when you're late paying BT, they'll just say, "No worries mate, pay when you're ready"? If so, you need to read the article again.

Tom7

How to make a big company pay their debts on time

Send them a statutory demand. If they owe more than £750 and don't pay within 21 days, you can apply to a court to have them liquidated.

Wrist SLAP: Samsung Galaxy Gear smartwatch hands-on

Tom7

Meh

25-hour battery life is not that great an improvement, TBH. My first (and only, I've seen the light) digital watch had a battery that lasted for four years. Even my hand-winding gold-plated 19th-century pocket watch lasts longer than that.

I'm sure there will be security worries about this, too. I was visiting a site yesterday with prominent "No Photography" signs up everywhere, and whenever someone whipped out a smartphone they were immediately told not to take a photo with it. But why not just leave your watch recording for a few minutes as you wander around? Who's really going to notice? And of course it can only be a matter of time before someone sits opposite the girl in the short skirt on a bus with one of these...

Smartwatch craze is all just ONE OFF THE WRIST

Tom7
Pint

Beautiful

"Nor do I personally feel a desire to be wearing ... a pedometer - a thoroughly pedestrian idea if ever there was one."

I haven't laughed this much at an article on El Reg for a long time.

Snowden journo's boyfriend 'had crypto key for thumb-drive files written down' - cops

Tom7

Honestly? How hard is this?

1. Generate public-private key pair.

2. Write down the public key and take it to Germany. Or put it on a web site. Whatever.

3. Encrypt the data using the public key.

4. Transfer the data to the thumb drive.

5. Carry the thumb drive back to Brazil.

6. Get held at Heathrow but don't disclose the decryption key because YOU DON'T HAVE IT.

Yahoo! web! traffic! BIGGER! THAN! GOOGLE! in! July!

Tom7

Hmmm

Unique visitors is not traffic or pageviews. I guess I use Yahoo, too - a couple of times a month, when a google search throws up a link to answers.yahoo.com.

Gadgets are NOT the perfect gift for REAL men

Tom7
Pint

Must be Friday

Ah, Dabbsy, more reliable than the BOFH and nearly as funny. Have a beer.

Windows 8 hype has hurt PC makers and distributors - Gartner

Tom7

I think it's even worse than that. People are discovering that you can make old systems much slicker by changing a HDD for a SSD and SSDs are getting cheaper sharpish. It takes a little technical nous to do the changeover, sure, but why replace a perfectly good CPU, graphics card, motherboard etc when they perform perfectly well?

For a long time now poor disk performance has been hiding adequate performance in other parts of the system. While there was no real option for upgrading the disk, people upgraded all the other components. The difference was incremental rather than large, but it was the only way to improve performance. Now there is an option to upgrade one component and make the system feel much much faster overall and the result is that the bottom has fallen out of the market for all those other components.

This will balance out eventually - as disk becomes a smaller factor in system performance, all the other components become proportionally more significant and so worth upgrading again. But it might take a little while.

Pussy galore: Bubble-bath webcam spy outrage

Tom7

Re: Laptops in the bath?

My other half does this. Now, to hack into her webcam... oh, or I could just wait until she gets out of the bath.

Apple: If you find us guilty in ebook price-fix trial, EVERYONE suffers

Tom7
Headmaster

"Settled out of court" - not quite

The publishers have not settled out of court - they have not paid to have their case dismissed. They have stipulated a final judgement that admits guilt and sets major restrictions on their future business model. While they haven't gone through a trial, this is not the same as a criminal prosecution dropping the case - it's the civil equivalent of pleading guilty.

Check the proposed judgement here: https://www.federalregister.gov/articles/2013/02/25/2013-04234/united-states-v-apple-inc-hachette-book-group-inc-harpercollins-publishers-llc-verlagsgruppe-georg

STEVE JOBS hits back at ebook ruckus FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE

Tom7
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Re: Puzzled

A few facts: The publishers have *not* settled out of court. That would involve an agreement between the parties and the dismissal of the action. That is not what has happened. They *have* stipulated to a final judgement. I suggest you go read that (proposed) final judgement: https://www.federalregister.gov/articles/2013/02/25/2013-04234/united-states-v-apple-inc-hachette-book-group-inc-harpercollins-publishers-llc-verlagsgruppe-georg

Does that read like "paying to make the case go away" to you? It reads very much like admitting guilt to me. The statement which the publishers have agreed to includes things like this:

The evidence showing conspiracy is substantial and includes: Practices facilitating a horizontal conspiracy ... Direct evidence of a conspiracy ... Recognition of illicit nature of communications ... Acts contrary to economic interests ... Motive to enter the conspiracy, including knowledge or assurances that competitors also will enter ... Abrupt, contemporaneous shift from past behavior.

That's what these publishers have admitted. Does it sound like a "no liability admitted, we're just paying to make it go away" sort of affair to you?

Tom7
Paris Hilton

Puzzled

I'm still just plain puzzled how Apple thinks a trial will end well for them when the parties they are alleged to have colluded with have all admitted they did it. If it was a jury trial they might try to have evidence of those settlements excluded, but this is not a jury trial...

Paris, 'cos she's a puzzle.

Nokia Lumia 925: The best Windows Phone yet

Tom7
WTF?

What I learnt from this review

It's a mediocre phone with mediocre apps, mediocre UI, rotten chance of getting updates and a screen that scratches to buggery. All of these things are admitted in the article in about as many words. Apple has a better app store. Samsung has a better camera. The UI needs 'dozens of tweaks'. The unlock screen feels like a beta. Nokia's history of updates is rotten. Nokia has a history of shipping the "latest" version of the OS only to have it completely replaced and made obsolete months later and anyone who got sucked in can go cry somewhere else. Microsoft kills months to years rewriting the OS with no visible benefit to the user. Get your screen protection organised pronto.

The only reason the reviewer can think of that you'd actually want to buy one is that, if you want to buy a Nokia, well, it's better than all the other Nokias. Yet, somehow, the tone of the review is positive???

Three's mobile data goes titsup in mysterious spreading outage

Tom7
Thumb Up

Re: Rare occurrence on 3

Agreed. First time I've noticed a serious outage on 3, in five years of use. Coverage another matter, of course...

Graphene QUILT: A good trampoline for elephants in stiletto heels

Tom7

Photograph

or it didn't happen.

Watch quantum entanglement – IN REAL TIME

Tom7
Thumb Up

Nice

I like the 1920s silent film backing music in particular.

Forget tax bills, here's how Google is really taking us all for a ride

Tom7

Re: Fashionable to mention Google

And the article misses the point just as badly. Google has this monopoly only because it makes the best free email service and the best free web search and the best cloud storage system.

Making a product free-to-use and funding it through targeted advertising does not somehow magically create user lock-in and a monopoly. Google keeps creating services like gmail, google drive, google+ and so on precisely because its core business, search, has no lock-in at all. Changing to another search engine is as easy as changing a browser bookmark. So google has two options for keeping its dominance: Create services around search that create lock-in, or keep its search better than anyone else's.

It's not clear to me that its 'surrounding products' strategy is working. Gmail is, AFAICT, the best free email out there. But if a better one came along, I can jump ship any time and set up a permanent forward from gmail to the new service. Google Drive is, AFAICT, the best free cloud storage out there. But if a better one came along, I can download all my documents and put them in the new one whenever. Google+ is as near as they come to a true lock-in product, but it seems pretty clear that it is losing to Facebook, precisely because fb has beaten them at the lock-in game.

Yahoo! Oz! PAYS! Punters! Pittance! To! Search!

Tom7
FAIL

Some basic math

$369 at 50 cents a month would be 738 months., not 164.5.

Things that cost the same as coffee with Tim Cook - and are way more fun

Tom7
Mushroom

Let's see

44 au pair, 40 AK-47s and 2 SU-100s seems a reasonable start to a private army. With $5k to spare.

In space, no one can hear your laptop Blue Screen

Tom7
Thumb Up

Glad I hadn't gone for the morning coffee when I read that

You'd owe me a new keyboard. Gold!

Fried-egg sarnies kick off Reg man's quid-a-day nosh challenge

Tom7

Re: Calories

Not many people seem to have spotted that this is a five-day "week". That's 2,600 calories per day. According to the NHS, the average man needs about 2,500 calories per day to maintain his weight - about right.

Microsoft carves out 'niche' in tablets, says numbers chap

Tom7
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Re: No......

It didn't say branded Android, it said branded.

Tom7
FAIL

Erm, well, if you work through the math in the article, there were 7 million of the cheapy Chinese tables and 40.6 million branded ones. That's 47.6 million in total, and 52% of those were Android; in other words, 24.8 million Android tables shipped total. 7 out of 24.8 is 28.2%, not 70%.

Tom7
Thumb Down

How to fudge numbers

"Why not include the white-label tablets? Because only seven million of them shipped during Q1, compared to 40.6 million branded products."

Or, in other words, if you count all the tablets shipped, Android has 52% and Apple has 41%. But, if you don't count about a third of the Android tables shipped but still count all of Apple's, then Apple sold more. Just.

It's a good trick, and one you can apply almost anywhere. The UK has a bigger land mass than the United States, so long as you don't count the "Continental" parts of the USA. And the UK has more people than China, so long as you don't count the Chinese who live "outside Beijing."

And, FYI, for native English speakers, calling someone a "niche player" is not quite the same thing as saying they are carving out a niche - one is a nice way of saying you're irrelevant, the other means a modest success.

How I nearly sold rocket windows to the crazy North Koreans

Tom7

It's alright

Mike Philpott agrees with you, 100%. Until your plan goes wrong and your children are burnt to death, of course.

Publishing ANYTHING on .uk? From now, Big Library gets copies

Tom7

How far does this go?

I'm curious, though not curious enough to go look it up. Does this allow them to scrape your content, or does it force you to allow them to scrape it? What I'm getting at is, what if I detect the British Library robot and send it off to some obscure error page to prevent them archiving my site? Has that just become illegal? Or does it just indemnify the libraries from copyright claims if they happen to get to my content?

Nokia opens Maps to rivals, flogs uber-budget €15 phone

Tom7

Puzzled

Why would I want Nokia maps licensed for my Samsung phone? What does it get me that Google maps doesn't?

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