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* Posts by Tigra 07

1675 posts • joined 20 Jul 2010

If you drop a tablet in a forest of smartphones, will anyone hear it fall?

Tigra 07
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Meh

Went to John Lewis over the weekend to inquire about Huawei tablets. The staff member for this part of the store says that they're only available on the website and all they have in store is Samsung, Lenovo, and the terrible Amazon tablets.

Seems even the retailers don't like Amazon's Fire tablets...

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We've Amber heard a NASty rumour: Marvell man touts private cloud box

Tigra 07
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Pint

I expected something completely different...

Hearing "Amber" and "internet" in the same sentence usually involves a dipshit Home Secretary trying to outlaw Encryption or create magic backdoors...

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Google keeps tracking you even when you specifically tell it not to: Maps, Search won't take no for an answer

Tigra 07
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Re: AC

Google knows what you want. It has all that data on you. Are you saying the big Google in the sky is wrong and you don't want a male order bride? Blasphemy!

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Space, the final Trump-tier: America to beam up $8bn for Space Force

Tigra 07
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Facepalm

Oops. Forget that anything Trump does must automatically be bad and i'll be downvoted for forgetting that... *cough* Biased whiney babies *cough*

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Tigra 07
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Alien

This actually seems like a common sense idea. Especially since China and the Russians already have space forces of their own (even if just in name).

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Android ain't done until Samsung won't run? 9.0 Pie borks Gear watch app

Tigra 07
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Trollface

Google borks Samsung watches before announcing their own...Purely coincidental of course...

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Mind behind 16.7m nuisance call menace cops six-year boss ban

Tigra 07
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FAIL

Re: Now he can't run a UK biz

He's probably now the Manager and his wife/brother's name is on the books as Director...Stick him in prison instead. These people have had enough warnings and it's not deterring them.

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'Unhackable' Bitfi crypto-currency wallet maker will be shocked to find fingernails exist

Tigra 07
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Stop

"Although for those wondering why on earth McAfee would risk undermining his professional reputation"

Whoa. Whoa Whoa! Stop it...Stop it... John McAfee doesn't have a professional reputation as anything other than a toilet man or bollock toad.

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Dixons Carphone: Yeah, so, about that hack we said hit 1.2m records? Multiply that by 8.3

Tigra 07
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Taking tips from the Talk Talk school of getting hacked i see...Will this number be revised upwards again in a few days to cover all customers?

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The Solar System's oldest minerals reveal the Sun's violent past

Tigra 07
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Move on

He may have been violent in the past but he's a good neighbour these days. Jeez, it's been billions of years! Let it go!

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FBI boss: We went to the Moon, so why can't we have crypto backdoors? – and more this week

Tigra 07
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Re: Bob

So...We need the X-men?

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Tigra 07
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Re: Man on the sun

"if we can put a man on the moon, surely we can put a man on the sun"

And as the great Ali G himself said: "We send them at night when the sun is cold."

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UK 'fake news' inquiry calls for end to tech middleman excuses, election law overhaul

Tigra 07
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Childcatcher

Moral panic the worst in history...

Geroge Soros and Rupert Murdock can pump hundreds of millions of pounds into the country to spread their agendas, and the Americans too...but this much smaller amount of money is from Russians! Oh dear! Change the laws in a panic!

How much do we spend abroad bombing other countries into democracy? Would you rather have freedom bombs or adverts?

Child catcher icon for obvs...

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Google unwraps its gateway drug: Edge TPU chips for IoT AI code

Tigra 07
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Terminator

Re: Robin

"Ok Google, make me some toast."

"I'm sorry but I can't do that Dave...You're out of bread..."

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HPE supercomputer is still crunching numbers in space after 340 days

Tigra 07
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Pint

Linux...In...Spaaaaaaaaaaaaaace!

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All that dust on Mars is coming from one weird giant alien structure

Tigra 07
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Joke

Re: Elon Musk

UPDATE: He's sent a miniature submarine equipped with a vacuum to Mars on a SpaceX rocket and called the Martian locals pedos.

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Tigra 07
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Re: Oncoming Scorn

Thumbs up for Tom Baker reference.

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Tigra 07
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Pint

I'll bet Elon Musk is already tweeting about building a solar-scale vacuum cleaner to clean up Mars...

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From toothbrushes to coffee makers to computers: Europe fines Asus, Pioneer, Philips for rigging prices of kit

Tigra 07
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IT Angle

Was Maplins involved and keeping all their prices artificially high due to orders from manufacturers...Or were they just a very expensive retailer?

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Tigra 07
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But why?

Surely if the retailer sells more they then buy more stock from the manufacturer? The manufacturer gets paid either way so there's no logical reason to push the retailer's prices higher since they're cutting their own profits?

Can someone explain that?

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Fake prudes: Catholic uni AI bot taught to daub bikinis on naked chicks

Tigra 07
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Trollface

RE: AC

"Presumably there's some good Catholic boys working on this, and they've got a cast iron excuse for looking at endless pictures of nudes"

Uh oh, bathroom break! How many is that this morning...16? Little Timmy is getting a lot of hand blisters from his keyboard too!

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Elon Musk, his arch nemesis DeepMind swear off AI weapons

Tigra 07
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Trollface

Re: Pugwash 2.0?

Dayum! You just got Clock Blocked!

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Tigra 07
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Coat

Re: Spold

The AI. It didn't promise not to hurt anyone in your example. It dodged the question.

Saying you could do something isn't the same as actually doing it.

Did i win?

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Tigra 07
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Pirate

Re: Chris

Yeah...But the Russian Furbys will be filled with Polonium...

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Tigra 07
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Re: Pugwash 2.0?

Government projects usually overrun by years, billions in costs, and under deliver.

If UK GOV starts AI research for future war machines they won't have anything to show for it this century and the final product will be more furby capability than terminator.

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Tigra 07
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xkill Terminator

All well and good but what about the big elephant in the room? Linux

Linux is what future terminators run on (as evident in the films) and what are they doing about this?

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Spooked Cisco chief phoned AWS, asked: You're not making a switch, are you?

Tigra 07
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Re: Not yet anyway.

"Confirmed that AWS is not actively building a commercial network switch"

...Because they've already built one and it wasn't worth pursuing?

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Techie sues ex-bosses, claims their AI avatar tech was faked – and he was allegedly beaten up after crying foul

Tigra 07
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Why was personal data on the company laptop?

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People hate hot-desking. Google thinks they’ll love hot-Chromebooking

Tigra 07
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Pint

Re: Aladdin Sane

Want to buy a laptop splashguard for... erm... personal use?

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Tigra 07
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Trollface

Basically the Boris Bike option for laptops... Will we start to see Chromebooks floating in canals and strewn from trees and road signs by people who can't be arsed to put them back in the "racks" where they came from?

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PayPal's pal Venmo spaffs your pals' payments – and yours

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Apple gives MacBook Pro keyboard rubber pants

Tigra 07
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Trollface

Re: Jay

"The original keyboard design was brilliant, provided it was sealed away from direct contact with the outside world"

...In the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying 'Beware of the Leopard?

Sorry, i hate that joke but couldn't resist...

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Tigra 07
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"As we noted, Apple's professional laptops can often be found in unforgiving environments, such as field work" coffee shops.

There, fixed that for you!

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FBI for the Apple guy: Bloke accused of stealing robo-car tech

Tigra 07
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RE: Comments are attributed to your handle

Article has been corrected...They must have noticed...

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European Parliament balks at copyright law reform vote

Tigra 07
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RE: Doc Syntax

Yeah...But it affects the very functioning of the internet, why shouldn't people from elsewhere be allowed a say?

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Tigra 07
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Childcatcher

"The detractors included the Mozilla Foundation, Google and Wikipedia, which arguably wouldn't have been affected by any of the changes."

Really? You don't think Wikipedia would be affected by a link tax? EVERY Wikipedia article using a link to a news site would be hit with a bill. For anyone not aware that's a massive bill and will result in widespread censorship of the internet to avoid linking, or such huge bills that i doubt even the Wikimedia foundation could afford.

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Huawei enterprise comms kit has a TLS crypto bug

Tigra 07
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Facepalm

Prediction...

2017: US Gov considers Huawei dangerous to National Security because the may have backdoors.

2018: Huawei fixes backdoors.

2019: US Gov attacks Huawei publicly for not giving US Gov backdoors.

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Drug cops stopped techie's upgrade to question him for hours. About everything

Tigra 07
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Pint

Re: Byron

"There's no sane reason I can think of to ever drink alcohol"

You sound fun at parties.

Here, have a beer. You might like it >>>>

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Tigra 07
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Alien

Re: Made it here first!

"There are actually benefits to vaporizing mary jane"

Who told you of our plans to vapourize the humans?

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Sysadmin shut down server, it went ‘Clunk!’ but the app kept running

Tigra 07
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Facepalm

I pushed the wrong button on the fan this morning and blew all my papers on the floor...

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Automated payment machines do NOT work the same all over the world – as I found out

Tigra 07
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Re: Might be the compass

Sounds like your phone is upside down? Are you in Australia?

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Tigra 07
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"This is, after all, the app that once directed me to walk through the centre of an unlit Hyde Park at 2am and whose audio inexplicably but routinely barks "Turn left!" when you're supposed to turn right"

Technically it's not wrong. Turn left 3 times and you're heading in the correct direction.

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GitLab's move off Azure to Google cloud totally unrelated to Microsoft's GitHub acquisition. Yep

Tigra 07
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Re: Mystic Megabyte

Don't forget Gitlub on iCloud

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Dixons Carphone profits drop 24% amid hack 'n' high street struggles

Tigra 07
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Re: Simon

Maybe so. Maybe i was just unlucky enough to be dealing with the manager? Or the local idiot? All i know is that i'd researched what i wanted specifically and Currys had it. They had a display of it in store and refused to sell it. The hard/idiotic sales technique the guy tried lost a sale and introduced me to a company i have since bought 2 laptops from and quite a bit of storage hardware.

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Tigra 07
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John Lewis

John Lewis sold me a throw for my bed £10 lower than the list price because there was a mark on the packaging. Very nice people and company. I felt so guilty accepting that discount for something that doesn't make a different to the product inside.

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Tigra 07
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Re: Andy

More than likely he'll tell the manager he's never seen me before or deny it went down that way...

His sales tactic probably works on less savvy people buying for their kids.

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Tigra 07
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Linux

RE: Wolfe

Last time i went to Currys the smug twat there blatantly refused to sell me the laptop i wanted and kept directing me to the models above £1000. He made it clear quickly he was on commission.

I once again asked for the model that i actually wanted only to be told to buy it on the website.

Bought a better spec model from Scan computers for £300 less and no bloatware (No Windows license either)

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Apple takes $9m kick down under after bricking iPhones

Tigra 07
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Re: Headley

From what i've heard from the punters they're paying Audi instead. There may be more difficulty than simply disabling the beeping. #RobbingBastards

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Atari accuses El Reg of professional trolling and making stuff up. Welp, here's the interview tape for you to decide...

Tigra 07
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This made for brilliant reading. I can't wait to listen to the interview later!

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Shared, not stirred: GCHQ chief says Europe needs British spies

Tigra 07
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Facepalm

Re: Jason

Are you still paying for your gym membership 2 years after you left? Are they charging you £40 billion to cancel it even though it's not in their terms and conditions? Are you not allowed a share of the gym equipment even though you've paid for it personally over 30 years?

Your example was poor

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