* Posts by NoneSuch

2655 publicly visible posts • joined 25 May 2010

Apple will wring out $18bn by upselling NAND to fanbois – analyst

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No, It's An Idiot Tax.

Apple consistently screws over their customer base for profit. Until their customer base wakes up and does basic comparisons between vendor hardware / storage offerings, or at least starts demanding accountability for their product lines, you'll see no change.

The majority of Apple users are convinced low quality crap electronics get better when you add an Apple logo. That's on them. Any additional money they spend is an idiot tax.

https://youtu.be/04P2u-QOMHA?t=217

Auditors bemoan time it takes for privatised RAF pilot training to produce combat-ready aviators

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Go

Re: "Auditors bemoan time it takes"

Pilots are supposed to wash out of training if they cannot meet the standard. That's so multi-million dollar strike aircraft don't become smoking craters before an actual war starts. Seven years is an aboration, however and does not reflect well on the program (regardless of the excuses.)

With Denmark poo-poo'ing the sale of Greenland to the Great Pumpkin of the US, the UK may be next on the auction block with a successful no-plan BREXIT.

So the yanks will sort it out, in time. Unless of course, sanity comes back into fashion and this whole BREXIT BS is squashed forcibly.

Gov flings £10m to help businesses get Brexit-ready with, um... information packs

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Stop

Re: I think I'll apply

Instead of "Brexit Day," read "Drink the poisoned Kool-aid."

It makes a lot more sense that way.

Microsoft's only gone and published the exFAT spec, now supports popping it in the Linux kernel

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Devil

Re: What if ...

"Nice to see Microsoft do something useful for a change too.."

MS are members of the Linux Foundation (among other major corperations, see link below) and have way too much say in Linux development IMO.

Let's hope the legal eagles check out the boilerplate carefully before the Ex-FAT code is amended or MS may very well be putting a poison pill into the OS.

I don't trust Microsoft and their "embrace, extend, and exterminate" motto.

https://www.linuxfoundation.org/membership/members/

Google touts managed Linux, gets cosy with Dell in Chromebook Enterprise push

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Devil

Think of the money we'll save...

All the problems with limited solutions, plus total surveillance of every bit that goes through that server...

Pass.

Breaking news: Apple un-breaks break on jailbreak break

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Devil

Oh you are awful, but I like you...

An Apple patch to remove user choice and enforce a closed garden infrastructure? Never heard of that one before.

Russian spacebot stranded outside the ISS as Soyuz fails to dock

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Thumb Up

All these ports are yours, save Zvezda.

Attempt no docking there.

Pokemon Go becomes Pokemon No as games biz Niantic agrees to curb trespassing addicts

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Go

American Justice At It's Best.

Well at least the lawyers are taken care of.

Samsung Note10+ torn apart to expose three 5G antennas: One has to pick up something

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WTF?

Make them repairable...

Samsung could lead the industry in hosting replaceable and MODIFYABLE phone parts. Would open up a world of possibilities for those who like to tinker, especially some of the artsy type iFanboi.

Just make it clear mods and non-sanctioned repairs void ye olde warranty and Bob is indeed your uncle.

Besides, reducing customer choice is TM Apple Inc.

Eighty-year-old US 'web scam man' on the run after pocketing $250,000 in Dem 'donations'

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Joke

Right Now, On a US Interstate...

There is a medium speed police chase underway going after a Buick (going the wrong way on a Florida highway) with the left hand indicator flashing continuously.

Latest sneak peek at PowerShell 7 ups the telemetry but... hey... is that an off switch?

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Terminator

MS Knows Best

If previous MS actions count for anything, we'll soon be seeing it turned back on in a future patch.

The typical "Oh, you really didn't mean to turn that off. We'll just flip it back on, for your convenience." MS attitude runs deep.

NSA asks Congress to permanently reauthorize spying program that was so shambolic, the snoops had shut it down

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Paris Hilton

Government Standard

"it deleted 534 million call records"

After making two copies.

Teen TalkTalk hacker ordered to pay £400k after hijacking popular Instagram account

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Coat

Did you notice...

Governments hate the idea of crypto-currency, but try their hardest to get their grubby hands on as much as they can. That's a chin scratcher.

In five years, it will play a role in the 2020 version of the Iran Contra scandal.

Bomb-hoaxing DoSer who targeted police in revenge was caught after Twitter taunts

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Not a Great Start in Life.

Hope he gets the help he needs.

WeWork filed its IPO homework. So we had a look at its small print and... yowser. What has El Reg got itself into?

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Joke

The Reg

Coming to a cardboard refrigerator box in an alley near you soon.

Six-day cruise lies ahead for India's Chandrayaan-2 probe before the real lunar shenanigans begin

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Go

Earth First!

Earth should send people to the moon, not individual countries.

Let's see what the sweet, kind, new Microsoft that everyone loves is up to. Ah yes, forcing more Office home users into annual subscriptions

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Thumb Up

Confirmed

LibreOffice is the go-to package for the light of budget.

Low Barr: Don't give me that crap about security, just put the backdoors in the encryption, roars US Attorney General

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"whatever you want , it doesnr matter if those transmission media are compromised they dont have the key and cant decrypt it."

No, but as the folks you listed have policies against encrypted content, they can delete it, or simply not accept it.

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Re: Juniper and Cisco spyware

"A lot of bad legislation has been struck down."

"Citation very definitely needed on that one."

Bad legislation can be struck down a dozen times. It only has to pass once.

El Reg sits down to code with .NET for Linux and MySQL, hitting some bumps along the way

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Linux

MS Access for Linux

If you're gonna have a crap DB running on Linux, get the crappiest.

Screw MSPAC, man: Not in our name, Microsoft staff tell firm's political donation vehicle

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Mushroom

Ban Them All

Ban all PAC and Super PAC activity.

Allow no more than $1,000 per year, per person, donation to any political party, candidate or cause. This includes lobby groups like the NRA, tobacco, or any company association. Anyone contributing more than that should be charged with a felony.

Anyone who buys commercial air time for political purposes needs to be publicly identified as an individual and not "Citizens for Change" or some other euphemistic title to hide behind. Political party purchases of air time should be limited per year (whether there is an election or not).

Money does not make politics any better. It erodes whatever few scruples are left in a politician. Candidates are supposed to work for us not some nameless PAC.

UK.gov drives ever further into Nocluesville, crowdsources how to solve digital identity

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Coat

Le solution

Bar codes tattooed on the forehead. You know it's coming...

Operation Desert Sh!tstorm: Routine test shoots down military's top-secret internets

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Coat

Re: I'm so glad we kept one!

Jason was probably let go for the failure and the guy who designed the crap system was promoted and given more power.

That was my experience in the military anyway. Pub O'Clock.

Soon Google will have more bit barns in Texas than you can shake a stick at: Second facility planned for Ellis County

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Childcatcher

And each datacenter blows out mega-BTU's daily, directly contributing to global warming. Even when the east coast of the US disappears, they'll still deny it.

Keep tweeting kids.

New old Windows bug emerges, your 'strong' password is anything but, plus plenty more

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Mushroom

Re: It is all data slurping

"Wondering why "telemetry" has become synonymous with "surveillance"?

These are not at all the same thing."

Yes they effing are for the same reasons "ethnic cleansing" and "genocide" are used interchangeably. Calling an action by something more palatable does not undo the action itself.

Surveillance is defined as "close watch kept over someone or something." I call it data rape.

Iran is doing to our networks what it did to our spy drone, claims Uncle Sam: Now they're bombing our hard drives

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Holmes

Re: In other news

Have you noticed how the word "Impeachment" has disappeared from the news while this crap is going on?

If you don't think that's a coincidence, it's time for your nurse to give you more anti-psychotic meds.

Please stop regulating the dumb tubes, says Internet Society boss

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Coffee/keyboard

"vital security protections will end up being weakened and innocent sites will be wrongly blocked."

That's what governments WANT!

Must watch: GE's smart light bulb reset process is a masterpiece... of modern techno-insanity

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Thumb Up

Brevity.

"No one should have to go to this much trouble to reset a fucking bulb. "

Why the article didn't end here, I don't know. :-)

Imagine being charged to take a lunch break... even if you didn't. Welcome to the world of these electronics assembly line workers

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WTF?

Wow...

"The highest amount paid to any individual will be $4,720, according to this latest settlement. Wilson will receive an additional $7,000 as a reward for bringing and pursuing the case over five years. The lawyers bringing the case have agreed not to charge more than $1.65m for their services."

So the guy who raised the suit makes just under $11,720 and the lawyers trouser 1.65 Mil.

I chose the wrong career.

Behold the might of dynamic crimefighting duo Captain Met Police and the Microsoft Kid

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Coat

One hopes...

That info remains on UK servers only, but it is Microsoft so who knows.

UK Home Office data on a US corporations infrastructure. What can poss-i-bly go wrong?

Oblivious 'influencers' work on 3.6-roentgen tans in Chernobyl after realising TV show based on real nuclear TITSUP

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Pint

Re: Small point

Another small point before pub o'clock.

Stupidity is an inability to learn.

Ignorance is an unwillingness to learn.

These boffins' deepfake AI vids are next-gen. But don't take our word for it. Why not ask Zuck or Kim Kardashian...

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Coat

Re: "We are concerned about such deception and misuse"

This is why I talk in a pirate voice in public. Anyone catches me on video and deep fakes me, will just embarrass themselves.

Break out the poutine! SpaceX flings triple serving of Canadian satellites into orbit

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Happy

Ahhh Boffins...

Is there anything they can't do...? :)

You won't guess where European mobile data was rerouted for two hours. Oh. You can. Yes, it was China Telecom

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Joke

Re: Come off it

Intern at the NSA patched the wrong panel.

Auditors slam FBI for shoddy testing of facial-recog tech. But no big deal. It only has 641m images on its systems

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FAIL

Re: Not Ready For Prime Time

Until facial recognition works, it's just an amazing concept and nothing more.

Just wait until a bad facial recognition match results in an innocent person being shot dead.

She's just a Cosmic Girl but UK.gov is dangling £20m to have Beardy Branson's 747 launch satellites from Cornwall

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Childcatcher

I believe SJ Parkinson's epic sci-fi novel, Twinkle, is coming true. Be afraid...

Apple strips clips of WWDC devs booing that $999 monitor stand from the web using copyright claims. Fear not, you can listen again here...

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Coffee/keyboard

On The Up Side...

Apple would have taken the vids down faster, but they couldn't find the right lead.

Bad news from science land: Fast-charging li-ion batteries may be quick to top up, but they're also quick to die

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Megaphone

Instead of better batteries...

Learn some discipline.

Delete crap apps.

Stop living your life through social media.

Garbage battery life is an indication that you have an addiction to a small glass screen. That isn't a technology flaw, it's a personal failing.

Still sniggering at that $999 monitor stand? Apple just got serious about the enterprise

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Coffee/keyboard

Yuk

"with some help from best buddy Microsoft, Apple has put forward its strongest case yet that its machines are no longer so special that administrators need recoil in horror at managing them."

70% of our service tickets are for the 10% of the Macs marketing and sales insist on having. Their wireless tech is garbage, support is at best, hit or miss and spare parts cost a packet; if they even deign to sell you spares without you're delivering a broken part first, then forcing us to wait three weeks until they themselves can bring one in. The costs to buy and maintain are eye-watering.

$6K for a new iMac you can build (identically spec'd) for $1,200 yourself? Keep it. They are not "special" in the slightest. They are the Jordache jeans of laptops; you're just paying a premium for the logo.

Infosec bloke claims: Pornhub owner shafted me after I exposed gaping holes in its cartoon smut platform

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FAIL

Re: It "takes the security of its users very seriously."

We take security seriously, as soon as the press starts asking questions.

HP's delayed Reverb: Jesus-headset dribbles out of the echo chamber and into the channel

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Thumb Up

Love the Panto Sub-headline

Made me smile on a Monday and that's rare.

Well done lads and lasses!

Maker of US border's license-plate scanning tech ransacked by hacker, blueprints and files dumped online

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FAIL

They'll blame the IT Staff

No executive will admit to failing to sign off on the proper firewall because it's too expensive.

No manager will take responsibility for overtaxing the IT staff.

No accountant will acknowledge slashing the IT security budget as, "unnecessary."

No supervisor will admit they blew their entire IT training budget for them to go on a lark to Las Vegas.

The'll just blame Bill and Edna in IT for not stopping the sophisticated attack.

Never let something so flimsy as a locked door to the computer room stand in the way of an auditor on the warpath

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Holmes

Re: Golden Rule of Audit

One of our security guards is called Horst. He's 6'7", broad as a house and an amateur MMA fighter on his days off. Be thankful he hadn't been on duty that day to see them assaulting the door. The outcome would have been much different. That man intimidates me and I'm authorized to be there.

Phisher folk reel in Computacenter security vetting mailbox packed with sensitive staff data

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FAIL

So failing to protect personal information, they get hacked and demand MORE personal info like passports,etc. to make it right?

Apple reckons mystery new material will debug butterfly keyboard woes in latest MacBook Pros

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Would take a hell of a lot more to convince me to bring one home.

US Air Force probes targeted malware attack, blames... er, the US Navy? What?

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FAIL

Well...

At least Americans are spying on Americans now. Now they know how it feels.

Hope they got a FISA warrant first claiming they are tracking a 'militarist threat'.

Wanted: Big iron geeks to help restore IBM 360 mainframe rescued from defunct German factory by other big iron geeks

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Thumb Up

I donated a fiver so here's the gratuitous "does it play Crysis?" comment.

Google's cunning AI linguist, Uncle Sam drills ML skills into .mil, Intel's iffy CPU claims

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Thumb Up

“While the whisky recipe is created by AI, we still benefit from a person’s expertise and knowledge,"

Reminds me of Mitchell & Webb's Cheesoid sketch. Take that AI...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWP52PcdpAw

Exclusive: Windows for Workgroups terror the Tartan Bandit confesses all to The Register

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Big Brother

What's the Statute of Limitations on hacking a police computing device?

Given the new Espionage law under consideration, I wouldn't put it past them to go after him.

All nodes lead to Rome: Epyc leak spills deets on second-gen Zen 32-core AMD server chippery

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Pint

Drooling here. Can't wait...