* Posts by Alister

4259 publicly visible posts • joined 19 May 2010

North will remain North for now, say geo-magnetic boffins

Alister

North will remain North for now

Well that'll save confusion in Korea, anyway, otherwise they'd have had to swap ends at half-time...

Windrush immigration papers scandal is a big fat GDPR fail for UK.gov

Alister

they then didn't bother to do any of the required paperwork

There was NO requirement to do anything, they were Commonwealth citizens. There was no further paperwork to fill out. The landing cards (now destroyed) were all that was required, at the time.

Why don't you go and learn about it, instead of coming out with ill-informed bollocks.

Alister
Headmaster

Re: So those Windrush landing cards needed to be held for maybe 120-150 years.

DIGITALISE

Or, possibly, digitise / ze.

No need to invent new words.

Noise from blast of gas destroys Digiplex data depot disk drives

Alister

Re: It's a gas, man

I once saw the aftermath of dropping a full "F" size Medical Oxygen cylinder (4 foot tall and 8 inch diameter).

The valve neck snapped, and it departed through the side of an ambulance, went through two brick walls, and disappeared into the woods at the side of the ambulance station. We never did find it...

Avengers: Infinity War: More Marvel-ous moolah for comic film-erverse, probably

Alister

Re: Must be my age

And of course Purdy.

Pah, modern new-fangled rubbish, that was the New Avengers.

What about Cathy Gale (Honor Blackman)?

Good news: AI could solve the pension crisis – by triggering a nuclear apocalypse by 2040

Alister

Re: I wish they would stop promising us nuclear armageddon.

I wish they'd just get on with it, or I'm going to have to replenish all my stock of tinned foods.

Sod Armageddon - the Best Before Date is approaching!

Alister
Thumb Up

Re: "Id like to see their definition of AI"

Dear Reg: You could pioneer some common sense in the name of scientific accuracy. How about linking every instance of the term "AI" to a couple of paras explaining why it is actually nothing of the kind? You do a good enough service setting the record straight on "private" browsing in today's articles, after all.

@Milton

I often disagree with your point of view on matters, but on this occasion, I can only endorse what you've said, and offer you this -------------->

Cosmic prang probe: Euro space boffins to smash sats, virtually

Alister

Re: Serious question.

I think your no.2 is too simplistic, objects can have variances in velocity sufficient to cause collisions but still be in the same orbit.

Otherwise, how could one spacecraft approach and dock with another spacecraft in the same orbit?

Alister

Re: What really happens when accidents occur in orbit?

Only if they happen on the orbital motorway?

Alister

Your user name doesn't really reflect reality, does it?

Go back and read TFA, these will be simulated collisions.

UK's Department of Fun seeks data strategy head – experience not needed

Alister

"Knowledge and experience of digital and data policy and/or the tech sector is desirable but not essential,"

Is this not just the standard PC bollocks nowadays, that if you put that "relevant knowledge is required" then it's seen as being exclusionary or discriminatory?

DON'T PANIC! America's net neutrality won't be ending today after all

Alister

Why is Batman hitting Robin?

UK.gov demands urgent answers as TSB IT meltdown continues

Alister

[Nicky Morgan] said the reports of unauthorised transactions, access to other customers' accounts, and failures of in-branch services "have all the hallmarks of an IT meltdown".

Is "IT meltdown" an officially designated term now? How is it quantified?

US sanctions on Turkey for Russia purchases could ground Brit F-35s

Alister

Re: There really...

I can't think of any aircraft with as bad a flight safety record

Lockheed Starfighter?

Alister

Re: There really...

@Skippy Bing

'the safety record of a Corvair '

I suspect we are talking the Chevrolet Corvair which was identified by Ralph Nader as highly unsafe.

'It's got all the reliability of an NSU RO80'

Again, not an aircraft, and the rotary engine was renowned for the seals at the tips of the rotor failing.

'as popular with pilots as a clapped out Austin Ambassador'

...none where they complain about the window popping out when you jack it up and the steering wheel being square.

I'm sure it's only a matter of time.

There is no perceived IT generation gap: Young people really are thick

Alister

Re: Yo Dabbsy

Buses stop at a bus station

Trains stop at a train station.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to my work station

Has work stopped??

:)

Alister

Re: Yo Dabbsy

in which case I'd go to the whaleweigh station.

There aren't enough downvotes in the world to cover that one...

Alister

You miss the point, Ken.

IME Younger people don't bother to even try and remember stuff.

Some of our younger staff here (who allegedly have a degree in computer science) have to be told, and told and told the most basic stuff, time and time again.

Alister

Re: Education is no longer designed to teach.

Of course not. That was all done and dusted at O-level.

Hahahahahahaaaaaaa... Oh sorry, did I just type that out loud?

Alister
Trollface

Re: Education is no longer designed to teach.

Hitch Hikers Guide started on the wireless damnit!

Wot, you mean it was a podcast?!

Alister

Thanks to the Internet, I have the opportunity to be better informed about a wider range of subjects than has ever been possible hitherto. And so does everyone else, if they're prepared to take it. Is that a bad thing?

No, it's obviously not a bad thing, and I too am better informed about all sorts of subjects as a result of the internet.

But, I do believe that it discourages the individual retention of knowledge, because of its immediacy.

Alister

Re: Not Dutch

Just a FYI, it's an American story.

I see you've been reading Wikipedia.

The story predates any American publication by many years, and its origin is obscure.

Alister

I'm in danger of revealing my grumpy-old-man status here, or even getting into a full blown rant, but it seems to me that the mental retention of literary allusions, cultural references etc is something older people do.

It is my perception that younger people, who have grown up with the ubiquitous use of computers and smartphones, and particularly the advent of Google and Wikipedia, make no effort to retain such things, as they can just go and look them up when needed, and then forget them again until next time.

Alister

Education is no longer designed to teach.

I recently made the mistake of helping my daughter with her "A" level biology homework - which given I used to work in the medical profession I thought should be a doddle.

She had to describe in 'detail' the movement of blood through the circulatory system, so I started with the blood leaving the left ventricle through the semilunar valve into the aorta, and how it travels through arteries to the capillary beds and then back through the veins, through the inferior and superior vena cava, to the right atrium. (simplified)

She was sitting looking puzzled, so I asked what was wrong. She said "Oh, we don't need to know all that"

I was gobsmacked. How can you possibly learn human biology if you don't even need to know the names of the bits you are supposed to be talking about?

I've noticed this before though, that students seem to be actively discouraged from taking a wider interest in any aspect of a subject outside the strict focus of the coursework.

Pavilion Data Systems hands more engineers their marching orders

Alister

The decision to separate from these employees was driven by a combination of performance management and alignment to ongoing objectives and investments.

We've decided to concentrate on software sales...

Amazon, LG Electronics turned my vape into an exploding bomb, says burned bloke in lawsuit

Alister

Re: Health Hazard?

Bob,

do you want to ban open fires and diesel cars as well? They are much more hazardous to your health than secondary tobacco smoke.

Sysadmin unplugged wrong server, ran away, hoped nobody noticed

Alister

Re: its like the leads at the back of my desk at work.

According to Sir PTerry, it's due to malignancy - the local hostility of things towards non-things.

LESTER gets ready to trundle: The Register's beer-bot has a name

Alister

Any volunteers?

build a prototype able to follow a PFY around

For the post of LESTER TESTER?

Tech bribes: What's the WORST one you've ever been offered?

Alister

socks in a lunchbox

That's just crying out to be a euphemism...

Alister

Re: Probably...

Why the thumbs down?

You forget, Americans read this. Mentioning a blow job is akin to setting fire to the Bible.

BOFH: We know where the bodies are buried

Alister

large enough to consume our company whole whilst leaving room for dessert, a cheese board and several after-dinner cognacs.

Oh Simon, fancy forgetting the wafer-thin mints...

SpaceX finally Falcon flings NASA's TESS into orbit

Alister
Thumb Up

Re: What duck?

Yep :)

BT pushes ahead with plans to switch off telephone network

Alister
Facepalm

I see people are highlighting 999 calls, fear not, by the time this is done there won't be any police etc.. left due to cuts.

More immediately, the 999 services are going to be moving from TETRA radios to 4G on EE, so even if you could call the emergency services without a mobile signal, the controllers won't be able to talk to the fire engines or ambulances...

Alister

Re: Mobile as the emergency option?

It sounds reasonable.

It doesn't sound so reasonable when you consider mobile network coverage is only at about 85% in the UK. There's still a lot of places without a signal.

Pyro-brainiacs set new record with waste-heat-into-electricity study

Alister

So, next step, perpetual motion!

Or possibly Nuclear Fusion, real soon now!

Surprise! Wireless brain implants are not secure, and can be hijacked to kill you or steal thoughts

Alister

wireless brain implants are insecure

Thank gods I forgot to put mine in, this morning, eh?

Scissors cut paper. Paper wraps rock. Lab-made enzyme eats plastic

Alister

Re: Ringworld Calling...

There'd need to be some fairly tight controls around using this to avoid it getting out into the "wild".

"What do you mean, you shouldn't have kept it in plastic containers! Nobody told me!"

Alister
Mushroom

Brit boffins save planet

Yeah, until the microbes go on the rampage, eating plastic all over the planet, leaving nothing but metal behind...

:)

We 'could' send troubled Watchkeeper drones to war, insists UK minister

Alister

Re: Is this a modern mathematics A level question, an A* guaranteed?

"Ah Simpkins, come in, stand at ease."

"Thank you sir"

"Now, as you know, I have to prepare a report for the Ministry about these five missing aircraft"

"Yes Sir"

"So can you tell me what happened, exactly?"

"They were brought down by an overwhelming enemy force, sir"

"Really, Simkins? And why didn't the enemy squadron appear on our radar, exactly?"

"Uh, it wasn't exactly a squadron, sir... more of a flock, kind of thing..."

"A Flock, Simkins?"

"Yessir... But they were terrible, sir, mad staring eyes and great sharp beaks and everything, our aircraft didn't stand a chance!"

"I see... Just to clarify then, the enemy force was comprised of what, exactly?"

"Seagulls sir, a great flock of seagulls."

"Thank you Simkins, that will be all."

'I crashed AOL for 19 hours and messed up global email for a week'

Alister

Re: Hmm

and screeched onto the internet with CompuServe along with hideous numeric email address.

Strangely, I came across my old Compuserve address only the other day, it was 101360.1534@compuserve.com

It's dead now, of course.

Pentagon sticks to its guns: Yep, we're going with a single cloud services provider

Alister
Headmaster

It is great and well until that singular cloudy provider goes TITSUP* for whatever reason

SYNTAX ERROR: Reference not set to an instance of an object...

Unfulfilled reference / dangling footnote detected.

NASA's TESS mission in distress, Mars Express restart is a success

Alister

Re: Turn it off and on again

it's just Roy answering the phone.

I thought he'd got a reel-to-reel answerphone now?

Alister

Re: negativity

El Reg, please do not trade factual accuracy for a nice rhyming headline.

Erm, this is The Register, you know?

Rhyming headlines and quotes from 1960s musicals are far more important than a few facts.

Whois is dead as Europe hands DNS overlord ICANN its arse

Alister

The registry for .uk, Nominet, for example, has long withheld the personal details of domain registrants and provides only technical information publicly.

This is not true. I've just done a quick blast round some of our company .uk domains and some of my personal .uk domains, and the full registration information is returned by whois.nic.uk.

Boeing CEO takes aim at Musk’s Starman-in-a-Tesla stunt

Alister

With the recent investment in Reaction Engines Limited, this may stand a chance of becoming a reality

Hmm, whatever fraction of the £26M that was shared between Boeing and Rolls Royce. Not exactly a massive injection of cash, considering the size of either company, more an expression of polite interest.

'Well intentioned lawmakers could stifle IoT innovation', warns bug bounty pioneer

Alister

Re: YES all digital devices are insecure

I have a digital alarm clock

That's So last century, darling...

:)

'Dear Mr F*ckingjoking': UK PM Theresa May's mass marketing missive misses mark

Alister

So where's the one addressed to:

Mr Whydontyou Gofuckyourself

27 Hawthorn Drive

Little Whinging

Surrey

GU21 6FU

Lib Dems, UKIP's websites go TITSUP* on UK local election launch day

Alister

What could possibly be offensive about a small bird of the Paridae family?

Snubbed R Us: Microsoft eschews Vulture Consultants in Playmobil tech research

Alister

Re: This is terrible.

You know, sawing off bits of Barbie and then taking her to hospital.

Ah yes, those far off innocent days...

Penis pothole protester: Cambridge's 'Wanksy' art shows feted

Alister

Re: A simple solution...

Mine is full of eels.

That's one elver problem...