* Posts by chivo243

6090 publicly visible posts • joined 10 May 2010

British Army does not Excel at spreadsheets: Soldiers' newly announced promotions are revoked after sorting snafu

chivo243 Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: Beer Friday

That's bad. The worst I've ever encountered came during a switch replacement project, we were prepping the last few stacks, and were coming up short on our unit count. Report this issue to management, get called into a meeting to discuss the mistake. I produce all my notes, documentation, excel sheets for each stack. Turns out one of the higher ups didn't include the final stack row in the excel auto calculate for the order. The office got very quiet very quickly!

First alligators, then dogs, now Basil Fawlty is trying to standardise social distancing measures

chivo243 Silver badge
Go

Re: The Osman

I would tell you, but it would be Pointless! Right Richard?

I got 99 problems, and all of them are your fault

chivo243 Silver badge
Coffee/keyboard

Small offices, big binders

One user had a small office, and had to transcribe lots of "minutes" that were hand written notes kept in big binders. The computer types all kinds of weird shit when one is resting on the control key!!

Google to pull plug on Play Music, its streaming service that couldn't beat Spotify, in favour of YouTube Music

chivo243 Silver badge
Happy

Re: I've just uploaded my music collection to...

I've only had a few external IPs ever. I can also use my hostname. I've never used a service that doesn't give a static addy.

chivo243 Silver badge

Re: I've just uploaded my music collection to...

I thought any NAS can do it?

USA decides to cleanse local networks of anything Chinese under new five-point national data security plan

chivo243 Silver badge
Childcatcher

Still kicking the Chinese

Just with a different boot than the trade charade boot. Now it's under the bullet proof, national security shoe.

Ever wonder how a pentest turns into felony charges? Coalfire duo explain Iowa courthouse arrest debacle

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Coat

Perfect shit storm

When does the movie come out? You know Deliverance, with Hackers!

Where's my banjo?

NSA warns that mobile device location services constantly compromise snoops and soldiers

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Re: How terrifying

Just a minute there : am I supposed to understand that there are rogue base stations implemented everywhere ? Controlled by who ?

I wouldn't say everywhere, but I wouldn't be surprised if most big cities have some such state monitored\sponsored gear in sensitive areas? Near capitol buildings, important gov't locations. Places that used to have large crowds? Lastly, transportation hubs, airports, train stations...

You think the UK coronavirus outbreak was bad? Just wait till winter: Study shows test-and-trace system is failing

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Coat

Re: Really?

Don't catch anything that can throw you back!

There's a bigger boat in here somewhere!

chivo243 Silver badge
WTF?

Seen in France - Mask Etiquette

Just returned from visiting the French half of the family. We went to an out of doors cafe, plenty of space. However, in France, once you queue for the restaurant, you need a mask, until you sit at your table, mask off, until you need to use the toilet, mask on, visit the toilet, return to your table, mask off. As like I've read above, many people had the mask hanging from one ear, or below their nose, or even around their arm. But the funniest thing I saw was an attractive young woman on a date, holding her mask 5cm in front of her face like she was at a masquerade party. She should have mounted it on a stick!

Aviation regulator outlines fixes that will get the 737 MAX flying again

chivo243 Silver badge
WTF?

Air travel, never again?

Air travel was already a stomach churning, back breaking, mind bending experience. Add wearing a mask and\or a face shield for 12+ hours, and we have a recipe for mental breakdown. Top it off with buggy software managing a mismatch between airframe and engine size et al? Thanks, I'll pass, to put it politely.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas: Fondleslab sales shoot up to festive season levels as folk work from home

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Coat

Working from home? I wonder

If there is an increase in traffic to adult viewing that might correlate with these fondleslab sales?

Bored binge-watchers bork beleaguered broadband by blasting bandwidth: Global average speeds down 6.31%

chivo243 Silver badge

I just returned from country #54

What a let down... 10mb down and less than 1mb up, and that was plugged right in the modem too! Glad there was wine!

'We stopped ransomware' boasts Blackbaud CEO. And by 'stopped' he means 'got insurance to pay off crooks'

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Coat

Bullet, Dodged!

Our org just ended a contract with Blackbaud, I sent the link for the original story to our Data Protection Officer, he's a shark type, he was all over it, I guess he smelled Blackblaud in the water?

Thanks! I'm here all week!

Virgin Galactic pals up with Rolls-Royce to work on Mach 3 Concorde-style private jet that can carry up to 19 people

chivo243 Silver badge
Windows

Re: Short and sweet.

I think yes, just another way to part fools and their money, generate jobs, part more fools from their money?

Fleecin' rubes... no finer feeling, especially rich rubes!

Struggling company pleads with landlords to slash rents as COVID-19 batters UK high street. The firm's name? Apple

chivo243 Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: My heart bleeds

Proving the fact that Apple can be petty and selfish. It would cost waaaay more to relocate than the few months diminished income via shops. It takes lots of moohlah to build an Apple Store. Just accept you have been told "No" and move on.

Microsoft confirms pursuit of TikTok after Satya Nadella chats to Donald Trump

chivo243 Silver badge
Trollface

LMFTFY

Trump told reporters that he intended to ban the app and prevent its sale to a US company for reasons he did not fully explain.

Trump told reporters that he intended to ban the app and prevent its sale to a US company for reasons he "could" not fully explain.

Just another case of Uncle Donnie getting mad and taking his ball and going home...

US drugstore chain installed anti-shoplifter facial-recognition cameras in 200 locations – for eight years

chivo243 Silver badge

Mooted Point?

With X% of the customers entering a drug store wearing a mask, I wager a guess that facial recog is even less effective. Add a pair of Jackie-O sunglasses, and what is left to recognize? I read somewhere that someone's gait is also easy to identify? What is next, sensors in the floor??

Lizards for lunch? Crazy tech? Aliens?! Dana Dash: First Girl on the Moon is perfect for the little boffin-to-be in your life

chivo243 Silver badge
Happy

Re: Harry Potter, but with science, instead of magic!

Did their adventure start on Ventura Highway?

Alligator lizards in the air?

Dutch Gateway store was kept udder wraps for centuries until refit dug up computing history

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Coat

Re: I've been there! 1998?

Didn't get to the end of the article, soz... I saw the photo and read about half!

chivo243 Silver badge
Happy

I've been there! 1998?

I don't know if the shop was open, but I saw the Cow pattern on the marquee. It's on the Spui if I'm not mistaken, there used to be a KFC across the street? And a Burger King on the same side of the street. It was over 20 years ago, so some details maybe colored by time...

'I'm telling you, I haven't got an iPad!' – Sent from my iPad

chivo243 Silver badge
Facepalm

Lost count

So many half-truths and I don't knows over the years, one stands out. User complained that their Macbook Air was running really slow, type a word and wait 10 seconds for it to appear on screen. I head over the service counter, and have a look. They type and indeed 10 seconds later, the text appears. I have a look at the keyboard, CODE RED! Nurse! Gloves! Stat! Grimiest keyboard I've seen in a long time. And then I get a whiff of coffee. I tell the user to wait as I move the MBA over to the work bench. I whip off the bottom plate, and I see pools of coffee! I told the user what I found, and they replied, I don't drink coffee, so it wasn't me! I said, But this is assigned to you, you are responsible for the upkeep and care of the computer. Priceless dumb looks...

At historic Apple, Amazon, Facebook, Google CEOs hearing, congressmen ramble, congresswomen home in on tech market abuse

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Coat

Re: perfect

What a James Bond enemy does?

chivo243 Silver badge
WTF?

Why is congress asking questions?

They are just as guilty as the tech guys companies. They passed the laws the regulate these companies, and are lobbied by these companies with lots of cash or something. Seems like a Grand Illusion to me...

AI assistants work perfectly in the UK – unless you're from Cardiff, Glasgow, Liverpool, Birmingham, Belfast...

chivo243 Silver badge
Happy

Lego Movie anyone?

This gag was in a Lego Movie, I remember my son watching this part over and over. Can't get my google fu to find it either. I thought it was the unintelligible voice that did unlock it...

Firefighters to UK Home Office: Yeah, maybe don't turn off emergency comms network before replacement is ready

chivo243 Silver badge

Re: Why use 2/3/4/5/6/x G at all?

A colleague is a member of DARES, Dutch Amateur Radio Emergency Service. A quick perusal of their English website shows an UK counter part Ray-net (UK).

https://dares.nl/about-dares/

chivo243 Silver badge
Happy

Re: "Anyone surprised at the gigantean cock-up"

Keep it running as long as needed, just don't forget to turn it off when the new system goes live...

Someone made an AI that predicted gender from email addresses, usernames. It went about as well as expected

chivo243 Silver badge
Holmes

Re: why even bother ?

I bet they harvested enough email addys to sell to lots of crooks or marketers or both. I'm worried about any site you "leave" your info just for kicks... Have I been Pwnd even raised questions with me!

Sherlock as there is still NO Tinfoil had icon!! WTF El Reg?? Loose the brainiac and the hockey mask dude, I rarely see them used ;-}

chivo243 Silver badge
Devil

Re: I want to discriminated correctly!

Glad I read the posts until I came across pretty much my thinking. Maybe things have changed, but the transitional individuals I've known of (men only to this point) wouldn't be offended by getting an ad for women's stuff, they would probably want the Plus size ads too. Two of them were taller than my 1.86m.

Now I'm thinking of the Lou Reed song...

If you own one of these 45 Netgear devices, replace it: Kit maker won't patch vulnerable gear despite live proof-of-concept code

chivo243 Silver badge

Netgear flew off of our list years ago.

Out with the low-end components for us... We've had so few issues with our new vendor, that I'm forgetting how to do things on their interfaces. Seems like we were always hunting down a performance issue\setting with NG and I was poking round regularly.

Two large flightless birds walk into a bar... The pub's owner was not emused *ba-dum tsh*

chivo243 Silver badge
Headmaster

Toilet as a verb!

Ya don't hear that very often!

No, boss, I'm not playing Minecraft. Minecraft is where I run VMs on the desktop now

chivo243 Silver badge

Video?

Please? Would love to show it to my 10yr old.

What the duck? Bloke keeps getting sent bathtime toys in the post – and Amazon won't say who's responsible

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Thumb Up

Re: Review stuffing

Ah, the old butcher inspecting his own meat bit. A true classic!

Are you sitting comfortably? Then we'll begin. Hang on, the PDP 11/70 has dropped offline

chivo243 Silver badge
Pint

Light Switches in Dataclosets

We have two closets that have light switches at 'butt' level, we're constantly apologizing for butting off the light...

My life as a criminal cookie clearer: Register vulture writes Chrome extension, realizes it probably breaks US law

chivo243 Silver badge

Advice given!

Hmm, ever try to do something with a browser and it shits the bed? One of the first things you are asked "Can you empty the browser cache and try again?" That is one of the first questions more than one of our SW vendors asks.

Isn't advising someone to do something illegal, also illegal??

UK govt finds £200,000 under sofa to kick off research into improving mobile connectivity on nation's crap railways

chivo243 Silver badge
Trollface

Not enough money!

But if we do research with what we have, we can say we tried.

VMware's flagship vSphere now in never-ending beta, if you're up for it

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Headmaster

Re: VMware, don't you know that "Beta" is a slur?

Real men and computers? So many ways to go with this one...

Bill Gates debunks 'coronavirus vaccine is my 5G mind control microchip implant' conspiracy theory

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Thumb Up

mind control chip?

in your body? No, it's in your phone or lappy.

Seriously, Bill's money works hard, not a fan of M$ for various reasons, but good work after MS Bill!

960 LinkedIn employees will be let go... If only there was some kind of 'social network for suits' to assist job hunts

chivo243 Silver badge

Re: 960 LinkedIn employees will be let go.

I just read elsewhere(because it isn't mentioned directly in the Reg write up) that this is only 6% of their work force?? Who'd have thunk it?

https://edition.cnn.com/2020/07/21/tech/linkedin-layoffs/index.html

chivo243 Silver badge
Windows

that's a lot of employees...

...didn't realize it was so intensive, aren't there google bots to send the annoying message that you have been a good customer, but we want you to be a better paying customer?

Glad my profile is barebones, and in a few years it will be meaningless when I quit twiddling bits for a living.

If you can read this, your Windows 10 2004 PC really is connected to the internet no matter what the OS claims

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Coat

Re: Idiots

They did test, but they were in Redmond when they did the test, everything works perfectly inside the MS domain... it's when you aren't in their domain that you have issues.

UK formally abandons Europe’s Unified Patent Court, Germany plans to move forward nevertheless

chivo243 Silver badge
Thumb Down

EPO is a cesspool. The missus got out when after our child was born, and some good friends are still stuck there. They have nothing good to say, especially now that they are all working from home, and miss the best part, the EPO restaurant is really quite nice according to the missus. And I hear the bar was quite nice, and used to be open from lunch on... but that was abused and the hours were limited.

Seven 'no log' VPN providers accused of leaking – yup, you guessed it – 1.2TB of user logs onto the internet

chivo243 Silver badge
Headmaster

I guess it's all on how you word your response?

Advertised VPNs?

Are you serious? Naw, no, we don't share no data, no way, no how.

Months later, Ah, well um, I guess our marketing department promised something, something... shared something, contractually bound... it is all quite legal, we have it on paper!

7 thumbs down

Here's why your Samsung Blu-ray player bricked itself: It downloaded an XML config file that broke the firmware

chivo243 Silver badge

11yr old Samsung TV

Glad it doesn't have any kind of connections to the intertubes. Not looking forward replacing it either.

From 'Queen of the Skies' to Queen of the Scrapheap: British Airways chops 747 fleet as folk stay at home

chivo243 Silver badge
Thumb Up

So Long!

I took my first plane trip on a 747 from Chicago (ORD for you aerobuffs) to L.A (LAX) in 1971 on TWA!

RIP both TWA and 747s

Oh sure, we'll just make a tiny little change in every source file without letting anyone know. What could go wrong?

chivo243 Silver badge
Pint

Re: Mail Storm

Haven't seen one of those in our shop for years... but we did have a good one many years ago. 30,000+ messages(each) later, we figured out it was due to most of the staff being on holiday with an out of office responder, and belonging to many listserv... who replied when they received a group message, who got an out of office reply, rinse, repeat ad nauseam.

Motorbike ride-share app CEO taken to pieces in grisly New York dismemberment

chivo243 Silver badge

Re: Did he have BCs?

Weren't more things cut off? Maybe before the head?

I know, it's on the Mail...

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8530089/NYC-millionaire-tasered-elevator-opened-stabbed-chest-hitman-ninja-outfit.html

chivo243 Silver badge

Re: Who dunnit?

Perhaps he had connections to the 419ers?

https://nypost.com/2020/07/15/tech-ceo-defends-his-firm-in-video-before-gruesome-killing/

chivo243 Silver badge
Unhappy

Did he have BCs?

If he had some digital currency, could be a motive. Wouldn't be the first victim tortured to get their coins.

Bad news: Your Cisco switch is a fake and an update borked it. Good news: It wasn't designed to spy on you

chivo243 Silver badge
Trollface

What's that old saying?

Nobody ever got fired for buying Cisco?