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* Posts by Locky

554 publicly visible posts • joined 7 Apr 2010

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Commonwealth Bank: Buggy software made us miss money laundering

Locky
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Flame

Re: It took three years

@Pascal Monett

Blame the developers? Has someone already exhausted blaming the network already?

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IBM killing off its first go at cloud object storage for Spark – 30 months after launch

Locky
Mushroom

"Nobody ever got fired for buying IBM"

Unless it was to use their mushroom cloud

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Trump backs off idea for joint US/Russian 'impenetrable Cyber Security unit'

Locky

Impenetrable Cyber Security unit?

What makes me think that it's a Windows 3.1 laptop with a broken floppy drive?

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Nothing could protect Durex peddler from NotPetya ransomware

Locky

Unconfirmed reports

That the AV software was still in its wrapper. Apparently, it didn't feel right when they used it last time

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UK Parliament hack: Really, a brute-force attack? Really?

Locky
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Coat

Re: Classic.

Horse, battery and staples, shirley?

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Live blog: Fired FBI boss spills the beans to US Senate committee

Locky
Joke

Title of the day

James and the Giant Impeach?

34 2

Lloyds finally inks mega 10-year cloudy outsourcing deal with IBM

Locky

10 year deal

That's 4 years of transition, 2 years of legal discussions and 4 years of bringing back in house.

The time will fly by

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First-day-on-the-job dev: I accidentally nuked production database, was instantly fired

Locky
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@wolfetone

Indeed.

So day 1, you are given a docuemnt and told to follow that. Yet it's your fault that guide is wrong?

No wonder they were told not to come back, showing what a shower the current setup is....

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Enterprise patching... is patchy, survey finds

Locky
Coat

31%?

That many people accidently clicked the upgrade now button.

Poor souls

7 5

Edinburgh Uni email snafu tells students they won't be graduating

Locky
Childcatcher

Full marks

For at owning up and not trying to blame it on external forces.

Reminds me of the time I discovered a powershell feature, and scripted everyone's out of office to say "I have now left the company" in the process

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Capita payments service Pay360 goes TITSUP

Locky
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Something about a power issue in a data center not paying the bill

There, fixed that for you

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UK hospital meltdown after ransomware worm uses NSA vuln to raid IT

Locky

Who would have thought that NHS systems would have been vunerable to a ransomware attack?

How's that XP migration project going by the way?

53 1

Try not to scream: Ads are coming to Amazon's Alexa – and VR goggles

Locky

Alexa

Send an email to faceless Ad man saying he can shove this advert up his .....

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Uber is a taxi company, not internet, European Court of Justice advised

Locky

But

Are Jaffa Cakes biscuits?

4 11

Agile consultant behind UK's disastrous Common Platform Programme steps down

Locky
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Re: Agile and government do not mix

Damn,

I had "sprint" and "Did you snapshot all the servers last night? We've had an unexpected result and need to roll back" left on my card...

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Netgear says sorry four weeks after losing customer backups

Locky
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Re: "the outage lost all of his photographs"

I think you'll find it's not "at any point"

It's at the exact point you stop paying the subscription....

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IT error at Great Western Railway charging £10k for 63-mile journey ticket

Locky
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Re: small city

Careful now

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Computer games to become medal sport at Asian Games

Locky
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Re: Track and Field?

Track and Field? Peasant magic

I give the 1985 classic Daley Thompson's Decathlon. Hundreds of Spectrum keybords gave their lives for the skills we have achieved

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30,000 London gun owners hit by Met Police 'data breach'

Locky
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Mushroom

Don't worry, judging by the speed of the BT Openreach rollout north of the Gap, they'll just be able to unplug the US Robotics 33k modem to protect themselves

3 1

No middle ground, no compromise: VMware blocks Cisco's SDN play

Locky

Michael flexing his muscles

While I don't think the Borg are done just yet, this is clearly Dell wanting to kill off a bit of competition before raking back in some of that EMC pricetag.

Grab some popcorn, this one has a way to go yet

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Payday lender Wonga admits to data breach

Locky
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Re: Clarification

If the clients had a reasonable credit score, they wouldn't be using Wonga in the first place....

3 1

Hundreds of millions 'wasted' on UK court digitisation scheme

Locky

Agile Experts

Also known in these parts as "Make-it-up-as-they-go-along shysters"

40 0

How about a nice game of ... Tetris? Oxford eggheads slow PTSD onset with classic game

Locky
Mushroom

Tetris is okay

But nowhere near as much fun at thermo-nuclear war

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EE scrap connection fee... to hike broadband and telly packages

Locky

I'm just waiting for the line

"The inevitable costs of Bexit" - It's not our fault gov

2 3

Nuns left in limbo after phone line transfer hell

Locky

Hit Eircom with a fine?

Better that than the thousand Hail Mary's I got for breaking a school window during a football match

A nun scorned is a terrifying thing

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As of today, iThings are even harder for police to probe

Locky
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Coat

Re: No Siri, I said 'googly'

Siri, when is half time?

About 3pm tomrrow

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Huawei's P10 breathing on Samsung's shoulder

Locky
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You also forgot to mention how much more black could it be. The answer is None. None more black

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BlackBerry admits dying BB10 is in pain

Locky

I think it's safe to say

That there is no IT angle to this story. More's the pitty

1 2

User jams up PC. Literally. No, we don't know which flavour

Locky
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You missed out

Cases lined with razor baldes to stop the un-initiated tinkering. That must be why they were like that

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Video intercom firm Doorbird wants $80 for device password resets

Locky
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Re: I have a large paper folder

It's quantum, baby...

1 0
Locky
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Re: I have a large paper folder

One of the few things M$ did right, OneNote

Take photo of recipt and useful password doc with your fruit based device, add to folder. Job done

3 1

MP brands 1,600 CSC layoffs as the 'worst excesses of capitalism'

Locky

"Built on a foundation of trust and transformation"

I guess that slogan won, only slightly ahead of the second favourite, "Built on a foundation of loose sand and broken promises"

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Amazon S3-izure cause: Half the web vanished because an AWS bod fat-fingered a command

Locky
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Me to

Once powershelled the entire company to have an out of office saying "I have now left the company"

That was the day I leaned that with one specific get-mailbox filter, if it finds zero results, it selects all mailboxes. Thanks for that M$

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Tuesday's AWS S3-izure exposes Amazon-sized internet bottleneck

Locky
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Re: Lies and Urban Myths

Obligatory Dilbert

It's only funny because it's true...

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NHS patient letters meant for GPs went undelivered for years

Locky

Optional

Its okay, they didn't loose them, they just securely stored them.

I wonder how much it costs to keep 500,000 docuemnts for 5 years?

10 1

I was authorized to trash my employer's network, sysadmin tells court

Locky
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Re: Easy fix

@Aladdin Sane

I think you're right. Can't remember who.

I'll just Google it

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Connected car in the second-hand lot? Don't buy it if you're not hack-savvy

Locky
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Re: Hackers dream

I don't know what you're all so worried about. Security is top of the list of these car manufacturers.

It's not like one would broadcast an advert telling the world what it's default password is...

Oh

4 0

Vinyl, filofaxes – why not us too, pleads Nokia

Locky

Another Nokia mis-step

They've chosen the wrong phone to bring back. If they'd gone for the 6310, they would have cleaned up

I've probably still got a few car kits for them in the back of the comms room

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The best of Reg readers' David Hockney-style logo redesigns

Locky
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I'll raise to a whole snackbox of raisins, and a bottle of Yorkshire tap water

From there, you can rehydrate them and create your own wine

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David Hockney creates new Sun masthead. Now for The Reg...

Locky
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Re: El Reg and Sun, hmm...

Most impressive

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Stop replying! pleads NetApp customer stuck in reply-allpocalypse

Locky

Rule 1 of email group management: Do not give them publicly available addresses

I wonder if a HP / EMC reseller has sent a reply all asking if anyone wants to migrate?

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WTF? Francis Ford Coppola crowdsources Apocalypse Now game

Locky

Obligatory title

I love the smell of Kickstarter cash in the morning

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HP Inc recalls 101,000 laptop batteries before they halt and catch fire

Locky
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Re: Get a Pi-top

Stay on the path, and be in by dark...

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Ransomware brutes smacked 1 in 3 NHS trusts last year

Locky

"...after being infected by Locky"

Sorry, couldn't help myself

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You have the right to be informed: Write to UK.gov, save El Reg

Locky
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Sealand?

Pah.

In the name Lester, El Reg should decamp to Rockall

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TV anchor says live on-air 'Alexa, order me a dollhouse' – guess what happens next

Locky

Rest assured this this isn't a problem north of the border

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Ransomware scum face unified white hat army

Locky

Come on then

I'll take you all on.

And yes, I am going to flease this joke until they stop making Locky virues

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Sysadmin 'fixed' PC by hiding it on a bookshelf for a few weeks

Locky

Building sites + laptops =

Broken laptops full of dust

4 weeks to fix? I bet a quick Etch-a-sketch* reset would have dislodged the crud in the fan. Problem solved

* One for the kids there

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WINNER! Crush your loved ones at Connect Four this Christmas

Locky

It's not Christmas without a game of...

Escape from Colditz

Festive

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Mirai variant turns TalkTalk routers into zombie botnet agents

Locky

Only 2,398?

With 57,000 TalkTalk modem details available, this could well be the tip of the iceberg

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