* Posts by Locky

554 publicly visible posts • joined 7 Apr 2010

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TalkTalk kept my email account active for 8 years after I left – now it's spamming my mates

Locky
Holmes

TalkTalk in account management fubar

Colour me shocked

Silent Merc, holy e-car... Mflllwhmmmp! What is that terrible sound?

Locky

Re: Problem already solved

Spokey dokeys

Three-quarters of crucial border IT systems at risk of failure? Bah, it's not like Brexit is *looks at watch* err... next month

Locky

Re: Cheer up, what's the worst that could happen?

Yeah, but apart from that, what has Brexit ever done for us?

I say, that sucks! Crooks are harnessing hoovers to clean out parking meters in Chelsea

Locky

Re: And the next scam will be...

Ah, but you'll know it's a scam if it takes less than 15 minutes to register your card, car reg and first born to some Sirius Cybernetics robot...

Locky

Parking meters are taken to the cleaners

Insane homeowners association tries to fine resident for dick-shaped outline car left in snow

Locky

Wait until they find out what she did on the roof

Watchdog asks UK.gov to reissue freedom of information guidance after councils are told to STFU about Brexit plans

Locky
Holmes

Re: Why worry?

I'm starting to doubt Project Fear exists. It's delivering far too much and suffering too little delay to be a real government project.

Until I see the headlines around it costing 3 times its estimate and being taken over by Capita I'm calling shenanigans

Bored bloke takes control of British Army 'psyops' unit's Twitter

Locky

Re: No Shit, Sherlock ..... It's the Gift that keeps on Giving*

wary of Internetworking Universal Virtual Vulture Forces

FTFY

Locky

PsyOps taken over

Judge Anderson will not be pleased

What's in a name? Quite a bit when it's the most hated abbreviation of 2018 (GDPR, of course)

Locky

Happend to me

I worked for a INDeX PBX support company back in the 90's with a short snappy URL for their website.

Then the Digital Versatile Disc became a thing, and our website was getting hits from all over the place. As I recall the directors sold the company for a tidy fee, probably for the domain name

Twilight of the sundials: Archaic timepiece dying out and millennials are to blame, reckons boffin

Locky

Innovative sundials?

There's a phrase I didn't think I'd be reading today

Australian prime minister blames 'state level' baddies for Oz parliament breach

Locky

Strewth

Throw another DDOS on the barbie mate

Well Holby damned! We've caught a virus: Brit medical soap operas team up for 'cyber' episode

Locky

Considering half the NHS is still on XP, I wonder what the odds are that there's still some Haylon in an old comms room, just waiting for an accidental nudge of the "Do not press" button

Roses are red, we've received about fifty. Google's next trick? Pixels for the thrifty

Locky

And Windows

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Your phone has crashed

We deleted Sys32

No fax given: Blighty's health service bods told to ban snail mail, too

Locky

2FA

Secure web-based mail with a SMS access code to access would work for 95% of the communications, not difficult to implement or particularly groundbreaking

The challenge is how to keep the 5% who can't or won't fit the model

US kids apparently talking like Peppa Pig... How about US lawmakers watching Doctor Who?

Locky
Flame

As seen at a Yorkshire fate

Kids! Come meet Peppa Pig at 11am

From 1 - A hog roast

Patch this run(DM)c Docker flaw or you be illin'... Tricky containers can root host boxes. It's like that – and that's the way it is

Locky

Sorry, I'm a bit slow today. I've just had 6 weeks off celebrating Christmas in the Hollies with Mary Mary

After Amazon's Bezos exposes Pecker, National Enquirer pushes back, promises to probe itself

Locky

Re: AWS pull the plug?

You're not thinking logically enough.

Wait until they hit the publish button, then bring the whole account down 1ms later and sue for publishing indecent images, against their T's & C's

Hold horror stories: Chief, we've got a f*cking idiot on line 1. Oh, you heard all that

Locky
Holmes

Re: Careful of what you write

Of course, you could just request all the information that the company holds on you under the Data Protection Act, that often shows up some very interesting results

Pants-purveyor in plea for popularity: It's not just any pork push... it's an M&S 'love sausage'

Locky

Re: missed opportunity

That's quite un oeuf of this yoke, thank you very much

WeWork restructuring bites El Reg hacks where it hurts as afternoon brew delayed

Locky

The next BOFH will feature this

and will include a PFY rampage, with props involving a roll of carpet, quick lime and a cattle prod

Terribly Sorry Bank reports 165% drop in profits to a pre-tax loss of £105.4m

Locky

I know I'm old, but I'm pretty sure she was the girl from Trainspotting...

iPhone price cuts are coming, teases Apple CEO. *Bring-bring* Hello, Apple UK? It's El Reg. You free to chat?

Locky

The reasons for the iPhone sales slump were threefold

I've re-read your 3 reasons a number of times, and there must be a typo because I just can't see "a lack of innovation leading to Apple flogging the same product for an inflated price" as one of the options

I must be holding it wrong

Remember Woolworths? Well there's a different* one that still exists in Oz. Telstra wants NBN Co to help shove fibre in it

Locky
Coat

They won't do it in all of the stores

They are going to pick n mix

Sorry, pass the one with the jelly babies in the pocket please

UK.gov plans £2,500 fines for kids flying toy drones within 3 MILES of airports

Locky

Re: First they came for my nano drone.....

THOSE are still legal in York, in case you see some of those pesky Scottish blokes

Get in the bin: Let's Encrypt gives admins until February 13 to switch off TLS-SNI-01

Locky

Valentines will be nice

Roses are red

Violets are blue

The website is down

Should have used TLS 1.2

Dear humans, We thought it was time we looked through YOUR source code. We found a mystery ancestor. Signed, the computers

Locky

Re: Mystery Ancestor

Is there anything to be said for another mass?

Apple hardware priced so high that no one wants to buy it? It's 1983 all over again

Locky
Childcatcher

56k?

Was it purchased by US Robotics?

Kids today, don't know their born etc

Holy crappuccino. There's a latte trouble brewing... Bio-boffins reckon 60%+ of coffee species may be doomed

Locky

Re: All right for some

Nescafe /= coffee

Error, out of cheese, redo from start

Friday fun fact: If Stegosauruses had space telescopes, they wouldn't have seen any rings around Saturn

Locky

Re: Oops

I was more curious at how it would hold them to it's head.

Now if they had used a telescope on a tripod....

Slack to fend off the collaboration competition with... a new logo

Locky
Thumb Up

It's been a while

I've missed Logowatch

Oh snap: AWS has only gone and brought out its own Backup

Locky

All fine and dandy

Until you need to move cloud providers. AWS will offer you all your data back, but I bet it's going to cost you

Cops told: No, you can't have a warrant to force a big bunch of people to unlock their phones by fingerprint, face scans

Locky
Joke

Re: So..

As I understand it you're fine, as long as you didn't shoot the deputy

This must be some kind of mistake. IT managers axed, CEO and others' wallets lightened in patient hack aftermath

Locky

Re: Seems legit

@Waseem Alkurdi

I refer my learned colleague to the self preservation of the Executive Committee

It's raining, then? Hallelujah. Big Blue super 'puter sharpens forecasts

Locky
Coat

Useful

But I'll stick to my more reliable method thanks

Amazon Mime: We train (badly) an AI love bot using divorce bombshell Bezos' alleged sexts to his new girlfriend

Locky

New Skill Enabled

Alexia, file for divorce

Dozens of .gov HTTPS certs expire, webpages offline, FBI on ice, IT security slows... Yup, it's day 20 of Trump's govt shutdown

Locky

Re: Oh God

Shhhh, don't tell them

You were told to clean up our systems, not delete 8,000 crucial files

Locky

W95 had a Recycle Bin, definitely in the 320MB era

More nodding dogs green-light terrible UK.gov pr0n age verification plans

Locky
Childcatcher

Re: Just like buying a magazine.

I didn't come her for sensible arguments. Be gone with you....

Happy new year, readers. Yes, we have threaded comments, an image-lite mode, and more...

Locky
WTF?

But like Oliver Twist to the Master....

We want more

Where are our new icons?

Google-whisperers beat reCaptcha voice challenge with 90% success rate

Locky
Terminator

Deply Deckard

It's 2019 and machines can convince security that they are people

The question is do they know?

An AI system has just created the most realistic looking photos ever

Locky
Terminator

Pay attention

The 600 series had rubber skin. We spotted them easy. But these are new, they look human. Sweat, bad breath, everything. Very hard to spot.

Ticketmaster tells customer it's not at fault for site's Magecart malware pwnage

Locky

I've always wondered what you got for that compulsory booking fee.

Now I know

Lenovo tells Asia-Pacific staff: Work lappy with your unencrypted data on it has been nicked

Locky
Childcatcher

Lappy?

Is this the contempt that we deserve? Does the will of the people mean nothing?

https://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/03/14/lappy_poll/

I demand a referendum

Peak tech! Bacon vending machine signals apex of human invention

Locky

Re: Which is better?

What we need now is a Lester-style investigation of what is the be bacon.

El Reg, you know what to do

Tumblr resorts to AI in attempt to scrub itself clean from filth

Locky

Re: Nipples ye say?

Witchfinder Shadwell? Calm yourself with a glass of condensed milk

Apple co-founder and former CEO has the most expensive John Hancock on the planet

Locky

The old Salvador Dali trick

As a famous but broke artist, he used to take his entourage to a restaurant and eat as much as they could. When the bill came, he'd write a cheque, flip it over and do a quick doodle.

The bar owner would be so please to have an original Dali he'd frame it and put it on the wall

Google: Psst, hey kid, want a new eSIM? Our Fi has one right here

Locky
Coat

How did they come up with the project name?

Why Fi?

If I close my eyes, the end-of-life kit vanishes: UK banks in doghouse over poor resilience

Locky

After 20+ years in the financial sector

You can colour me shocked at this report. Who knew?

Not a price cut! Apple perks up soggy iPhone demand with rebate boost

Locky

@RegGuy1

... The phone is for work and so they have locked it down for work usage only, so I'll be buying an Android phone

FTFY

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