393 posts • joined 7 Apr 2010
Protected by best in class great firewall, unless someone says the magic words
Re: English Idio.....
As an elderly, scruffy Yorkshireman, I approve
Turn left here please
I don't want to insist on it, Dave, but I am incapable of making an error. That road does not exist
Re: Is it git-based?
I find that most PMs are git-based
Apparently my Alexia is feeling "fine" when I asked
God I'm in trouble
Holy macaroni! After months of number-crunching, behold the strongest material in the universe: Nuclear pasta
Re: Always used to be buckminsterfullerene
That pun was soba-d
Couldn't they just knock the costs off their tax bill?
I'd tell you a UDP joke but I'm not sure you'd get it
An impressive challenge undertaken
To make Peterborough look attractive
Previous efforts have only been made by makers of rear view mirrors
Who would have thought they would be struggling to recruit competent techies when they use such stella adverts as this to promote them;
Microsoft's counter-Amazon strategy...
"is to play up its trustworthiness credentials"
I'm sorry, have I been redirected to The Onion?
plead ignorance or successfully blame the previous COO
Ask Google? Ask Microsoft?
What about ask Jeeves? How quick we forget
Ferengi Rules of Acquisition
285? No member of the Corp should report for duty in a ginger toupee?
How would that help
Going the wrong way
"DWSD can focus business strategies and priorities toward their number one priority – their customers."
I'm pretty sure most customers want their priorities to go away from them, not towards them
Duff duff duff duff da da duff
Re: Why not use a Mexican Bank?
The smart ones don't need tax breaks. They just transfer the money every few hours
As long as the sun doesn't set on the balance, you don't pay the tax
The software on my Fiat is so diabolical even I can't connect. The chance of someone else being able to is minimal
Too many CIO's have their snouts in the Trough of Disillusionment I fear.
Most of these projects have been sent to the Abattoir of Ambiguity to be turned into the Bacon of BOFH
Getting done over by a disgruntled employee - regrettable by difficult to avoid
Infiltrated by a state sponsored cell - Fair enough
Hacked by a 16 year old script kiddie for lolz - FAIL
Re: Looking at the wrong holes
The important thing here is to quickly register a cool name and image for the media to jump on.
They already have L1FT, so I propose https://ibb.co/ebfPi9
My money's on Peggy. She always knew too much
Re: Self-medicating with booze is no answer
How about coffee?
Bogus copies to be replaced
Keanu Reeves will undoubtedly find this news most excellent
Don't fear the Reaper
Re: Sad owner of a Surface 3 tablet here
"Also when plugging in an iPhone, it power cycles the USB every 2 seconds"
That is a fully supported feature. Have you tried a Windows Phone?
The only good feature on a HP printer
Changing the "Ready" message to "Out of cheese"
A turnkey, hyperconverged, all-flash box
I'm guessing it's admined by Oz the Great and Powerful
A fine town in Cleckhuddersfax
And who among us has never used expertsexchange?
I used to dream of 16MB...
All we had was himem.sys and a cardboard box in the middle of the motoway
Re: Two small steps
I was thinking Wickr Man, and you are Edward Woodward in this scenario
He turned into an annoying paperclip
Drugs are bad, mkay
To be fair, he's done worse...
Re: Hello to Jermery Irons
Dead amaze and totes emosh
When the Big Boss came up from the smoke to the frozen northern outpost we ordered in a fish lunch and went to the local for the pub quiz
He liked the cut of our jib
I see you're having a heart attack. Would like some help with that?
Will the give out the source code for Elite?
I'm not sure I trust health advice from Sally Hawkins
She seems to approve of sleeping with fish and having bears live in your house. A beer seems safer than those
Put it all in the cloud they said.
It'll be resilient they said.
"Armstrong - who was the first person to set foot on the Moon"
Thanks El Reg, it's these insightful editorial nuggest of information that keep us all coming back for more
I did not fight my way to the top of the food chain to eat salad....
This does sound very familiar
Isn't this a combination of Die Hard 2 and Speed 2?
Someone call Willis and Bullock to sort it out
Don't be ridiculous.
They put them in storage, and charged back with an inflated admin cost
You asked for miracles
I bring you the F Bee I
I have an awesome 6 pack, but I've lost the little plastic thing that holds them all together
Re: Come the revolution
** Squares of ground my go up as well as down
Re: @ Locky
Completly missed that, there was me thinking I was being all satirical and everything...