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* Posts by BongoJoe

1308 posts • joined 3 Apr 2010

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Microsoft: Like the Borg, we want to absorb all the world's biz computers

BongoJoe
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Doctor Syntax: I almost went down the SCO route as I was developing with it just before it well all funny and strange. That was in the days when Windows 3.x was rearing its head and was causing more problems than it initially solved.

If I did go down the SCO route then I would have perhaps have landed with Linux but, at the time, I couldn't find the stuff that I needed. Perhaps it was there or perhaps it wasn't: but I couldn't get the stuff at the price that I could afford.

Anyway, I am here now and I wouldn't mind hanging on just a little longer so that I can retire to a motorhome of my choice.

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BongoJoe
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I really hope that's tongue in cheek. F'rinstance I make my living now from my own bespoke applications none of which remotely resemble anything that MS offers.

With the sole exception of using MS Word, via COM, to write oodles of reports daily. But as for the applications themselves then, sorry, nothing that Microsoft produces comes close. Other than that I made the mistake of using Visual Studio to write the code in the first place. I wish now that at the time, when the whole process started, that Linux were as it is today.

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BongoJoe
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What about the stuff that goes 'clunk'?

From (bitter) experience not all of IT stuff is software related. Or, to be precise, Microsoft software related.

What about getting third party applications to fit into the enterprise system. Stuff like, for example, clever printers, contact management systems and other stuff that firms may use. Because, like it or not, not everyone's business starts and stops with Microsoft Office and [bleedin'] Edge.

These applications need to be integrated. Bespoke applications need to be written and all these have to be done under the watchful eye of a locally based IT department.

Further, when it comes to issues not every issue is software related. Or, to be precise Microsoft software related issues. What about when a router starts to spout noise down a wire? Who is going to track that down and re-route the cabling? What about when a UPS starts to fail, who is going to check that? Who is going to do the off-site back-ups and data storage/destruction? Who, in actual fact, is going to replace the ink cartridges, get the right paper. Who is going to go to regular work-orientated social meetings with similar companies to discuss issues, requirements, vendors and future progression? It's not all going to be upgrade to the latest version of MS Word or Excel as the sole answer.

This, even if it works (in terms of not falling over) is going to restrict advancement and progress in the workplace.

There is not a single upside to this that I can think of.

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BongoJoe
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Mushroom

Re: Where's the opt out link?

It's that little cross in the top right hand corner of that dialog box...

No, wait...

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BongoJoe
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you could find yourself up the creek without a paddle

> r/could/will

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BongoJoe
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What happens if one has legacy code which won't run on the latest version of Windows due to incompatibility issues with the compatibility mode?

Will Microsoft magically rewrite all one's code, as a part of all of this service, to the latest version of .Net before charging for a subscription model that replaces the paid-for model which, er, just works?

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Scrapping UK visa cap on nurses, doctors opened Britain's doors to IT workers

BongoJoe
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Coat

Re: What's that sound ? Brexiteers expoding.

I know. These inner city problems caused by the Danes in their ghettos, the Germans taking over all of our jobs and the Austrians coming over and getting their free 84" colour televisions and free iPads on the DHSS.

It was time to stop. Stop, I tell you!

Icon: yours in the white coat with fastenings around the back.

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UK.gov isn't ready for no-deal Brexit – and 'secrecy' means businesses won't be either

BongoJoe
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Re: Anyone else being asked by agencies ...

This is why I'm frantically researching my Irish heritage, in the hopes I can get my Irish passport before Brexit.

I've found a way to get a French passport and citizenship. The only drawback is that I would need to spend three years in the French Foreign Legion first...

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You know all those movies you bought from Apple? Um, well, think different: You didn't

BongoJoe
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Re: Whelp..

and go back to pirating everything I want to keep.

Don't you mean making a back-up?

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Python joins movement to dump 'offensive' master, slave terms

BongoJoe
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What about upsetting those with colour blindness?

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BongoJoe
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Re: "Slave to the rhythm"

And then Iron Maiden (Powerslave), then Deep Purple (Slaves and Masters) though the latter could do with complete deletion from the catalogue.

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NASA 'sextortionist' allegedly tricked women into revealing their password reset answers, stole their nude selfies

BongoJoe
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Facebook would perhaps tell me to stop, if I ever did.

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Ever wanted to strangle Microsoft? Now Outlook, Skype 'throttle' users amid storm cloud drama

BongoJoe
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Re: What comes out of clouds?

Sunbeams. You can't have sunbeams without clouds.

And, besides, without clouds you wouldn't have had JP Reubens painting pink chubby cherubs romping around on town hall ceilings everywhere, now, would you?

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Google goes bilingual, Facebook fleshes out translation and TensorFlow is dope

BongoJoe
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Re: Welsh?

The way that things are going, then, the English is going to be simply a dialect.

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BongoJoe
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Welsh?

Could be handy for translating between Cymraeg Gogledd and Cymraeg Da -- that'll be North Welsh and South Welsh, which would be handy for those BBC dramas who insist on using the wrong language (not dialect) when they're doing productions up in Snowdonia.

Though, of course, I wouldn't say that Cymaeg Gogledd is a rare language: unless, of course, one is using the numbers given to us by those in Whitehall which seems, strangely, a lot less than the actual figure spoken.

Yours in the pub speaking Welsh well before you walked in the door. And I mean about 2,000 years before you walked in...

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Fourth 'Fappening' celeb nude snap thief treated to 8 months in the clink

BongoJoe
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Re: I'm not a particularly draconian 'eye for an eye' person...

Didn't a famous pop star once, with a failing supposedly 'raunchy' book on her hands which failed to sell, report it to the authorities in order to have it banned so that the scandal of the work would drum up trade?

That failed too.

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Fruit flies use the power of the sun to help them fly in straight lines

BongoJoe
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Laugh, you may do.

But I believe that, once upon a time, we used a specific breed of spiders' web for gun sights as they were always at a perfect 90 degrees.

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No need to code your webpage yourself, says Microsoft – draw it and our AI will do the rest

BongoJoe
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Re: The Last One

Oh, I just scrolled up. Sorry, folks.

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BongoJoe
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The Last One

Does anyone remember this application which was supposed to make all future developers redundant>?

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HTC U12 Life: Notchless, reasonably priced and proper buttons? Oh joy

BongoJoe
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Re: Gets out key spec list needed for me to upgrade...

...you're forgetting the compass!!

Oh yes,. Everywhere is North. And South... And East and West too...

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BongoJoe
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Re: Gets out key spec list needed for me to upgrade...

You're joking, surely.

Wiley Fox had Cynogen "because it cared about our security" then it went over to Android and the first thing we saw on boot-up was a Russian newsfeed sucking up our preferences.

So, sod that.

And now on my Wiley-Fox I have the diseased spyware called 'TrueCaller' which is something that I had never asked for and certainly wasn't part of the original Wiley-Fox ethos.

So, fuck them and their partners. Hell's teeth I may as well get a bloody Samsung.

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Quit that job and earn $185k... cleaning up San Francisco's notoriously crappy sidewalks

BongoJoe
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Re: That's some seriously hard of thinking

They don't want to give up drugs. Shelters don't work because they often have rules. Like 'No drugs'. And in dormitory-like shelters, the people who most want to avoid heroin addicts are other heroin addicts.

Cart before horse episode here.

One of the main reasons why most homeless are dependent on alcohol and drugs is because that's the only thing that gets them through the abuse, the beatings, the cold nights, the discomfort, and the perpetual hopelessness of their situation.

A good proportion of the homeless, it turns out, happen to have mental health issues and need proper care and support and not being turfed out onto the streets.

Making vulnerability and illness illegal is something that I would expect from North Korea and not North America and the United Kingdom.

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BongoJoe
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Re: That's some seriously hard of thinking

So you ARREST them, FORCE them to leave town, and it'll stop.

I saw this sort of thing in one of Sylvester Stallone documentaries. You know, the one where he's a Vietnam vet going to a small town to pay a visit to his comrade and the local authorities thought it wise to arrest him.

That bio-pic didn't end too well, as I recall.

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Tax the tech giants and ISPs until the bits squeak – Corbyn

BongoJoe
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Mushroom

Re: local radio

Local radio. I found the local radio in a hired vehicle early one morning and I picked up whatever the BBC considered to be the local topical stuff that people need to digest at that time of morning.

I got two presenters talking about what they used their mobile phones for. The level of inane wittering was in insane and, worse, they got people to call in with their idiotic uses for their phones.

If this were local radio, I thought, then I am having no more of it and managed to find the CD player and for most of the rest of the journey I had my own music. Until I made the mistake of hitting the wrong button and hearing the new Jo Wiley and Simon Mayo programme on Radio 2: that's gone all local radio "what, listeners, are your life hacks to getting your teenage bedrooms decorated? Call us on .... and let us know".

Bloody hell. The BBC doesn't need funding - it needs bloody well harpooning.

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Texas ISP slams music biz for trying to turn it into a 'copyright cop'

BongoJoe
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No piracy = no music sales from me since i don't own a radio

Goodness. If I had to rely on the radio to inspire my music purchases then all I'd be ordering is AutoTuned crap.

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Apple shocked, SHOCKED I tell you, to find gambling in its Chinese App Store

BongoJoe
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First rule of gambling: "The house never loses".

Not so. I have known plenty of bookmakers to go under owing me money.

Secondly, just because the house 'never' loses it doesn't equate to the wise punter never winning in the longer which is never considered when people reel off this tripe.

One has to consider the house as being the broker and that one is actually competing against the other punters. So, considering that the house is the broker it should never be the case (but sometimes is) that the house never loses. When one is punting one has to make sure that the odds are in your favour and the other punters' odds aren't.

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Top Euro court: No, you can't steal images from other websites (too bad a school had to be sued to confirm this little fact)

BongoJoe
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Re: Prepare for...

It's the publisher not the reader.

So it depends on where the site is.

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BongoJoe
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Re: That old legal 'stealing' chesnut

For example if I take a car from outside someone's house and drive it from Lincoln to Grantham and abandon it outside Grantham police station, there is no intent of "permanently depriving" the owner can always collect it from the cops.

This is how the law against joy-riding started.

They couldn't actually charge someone back in the black and white days of the 70s because of exactly what you said. So they then charged joy riders for stealing fuel.

Then the joy-riders started to replace the fuel...

This is why they changed the rules and then it was no longer permanently depriving people of.

Sorry if this is a bit rambly but I am on the second demi-bottle of this rather wonderful single malt.

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BongoJoe
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Re: Also (confirmation required)

Would that be the "fucking ridiculous PETA" or the "fucking ridiculous court case concerning PETA"?

Or both?

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BongoJoe
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What if it doesn't come up on a reverse image search?

This is not relevant.

What if you can't find the copyright holder?

That is no excuse. If you can't/won't find the copyright holder then it's not you and thus you don't have the rights to publish it.

Are you supposed to just not use an image in case there is a copyright?

Correct. But in most cases it will be most likely there is a copyright rather than 'in case'.

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Devon County Council techies: WE KNOW IT WASN'T YOU!

BongoJoe
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Re: Actually back in the 1990s I was at a company...

When doing long print jobs, they would start to loose letters.

So if you printed out your message then your extra 'o' could be dropped out...

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FBI boss: We went to the Moon, so why can't we have crypto backdoors? – and more this week

BongoJoe
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Windows

Re: Man on the sun

And as the great Ali G himself said: "We send them at night when the sun is cold."

Ah, not a towards the great Dave Allen. Pah! Youngsters today, etc..

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Oh boy: MPs prepare to probe UK.gov's digital prowess and tech savvy

BongoJoe
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Re: So...

I would simply ask "You know that questions that people ask on Amazon such as 'Do these curtain hangers require batteries?' or 'What size is this one foot square tile?'. How many of them have you written? Or, how many would you have liked to have written if you could work out how to turn on your computer?"

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Ah, British summer. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, the internet is on the fritz

BongoJoe
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Re: Big red ball?

I was watching that fire not too long ago. We had heaved to in our motorhome to a farm site for a few days and we were watching the fire approach those towers with great interest. And the key in the ignition...

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Shouting lager, lager... Carlsberg's beer AI can now tell pilsners apart

BongoJoe
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Re: American Beer

Alas it's still a little fizzy for my taste. I was in some microbrewery on Manhattan Beach some time ago and whilst the beer was fundamentally brewed fine it was still killed off and then revived with the biggest greasiest bubbles I've ever seen in a beer.

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Make masses carry their mobes, suggests wig in not-at-all-creepy speech

BongoJoe
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Would there be a legal obligation in not carrying your AlwaysTurnedOnWeKnowWhereYouAre tracking device in a Faraday cage?

And as I live in an area where there's no signal (even though 95% of the population are in signal zones) does that make me an outlaw?

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Microsoft programming chief to devs: Tell us where Windows hurt you

BongoJoe
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Visual Studio 6

Go and find the original VS 6 code.

Add in a DVD worth of proper documentation unlike what's on the MSDN part of your site which shows snippets of code that's untyped (VB)

And REMOVE that blasted SourceSafe which makes the Source repository very unSafe.

And update the installation part of the Visual Studio so that one doesn't need to make a zero byte MSJAVA.DLL file to get the thing working.

You know, I paid good money for Visual Studio 6 and, to me, it's worth a lot more than the current .Net fiasco. If I want to knock up, or edit, a form layout in VB6 it takes seconds. With .Net it can take upto five minutes to get the screen to show the form.

I would love VS6 to be updated with a pure C compiler that stands alone as a C compiler and nothing but a C compiler.

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Scammers use Google Maps to skirt link-shortener crackdown

BongoJoe
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Re: Why? Just why?

It's handy when some forums, email clients, messaging systems break the VeryLong URL into bits to fit on each line and only the first bit is given the anchor tag which borks the whole URL business.

I don't use URL shorteners and I never click on them anyway. If I can't see and know where they are pointing at I won't "engage the user experience" </MarketingMode>

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UK.gov demands urgent answers as TSB IT meltdown continues

BongoJoe
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Re: I wonder....

Assuming that they can tell that Account A's funds were transferred by someone logging in on Account B.

If they can do that, then why were Account A's details shown in real time?

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My PC makes ‘negative energy waves’, said user, then demanded fix

BongoJoe
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In the 90's golden age of SIMM chip replacements and static-inducing carpets in offices I used to regularly carry a box of Anti Static Adjustable Grounding Straps

Or just wash one's hands, don't dry them but shake them loose of droplets.

Damp hands won't discharge static. A boffinry trick my dad told me during his Strange Days at the Ministry of Good.

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BongoJoe
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Why not install a positive wave emitter, say a microwave with the door broken off, near their desk and explain that the interference from the two sets of waves will cancel the other out?

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Spring is all about new beginnings, but it could already be lights out for Windows' Fluent Design

BongoJoe
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Re: "therefore the only one that developers will use is Win32."

If it's not in my ancient copy of Petzold, then I'm not interested.

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Apple, if you want to win in education, look at what sucks about iPads

BongoJoe
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Re: Tablets and STEM

>Mike16. Upvote from me for the obvious comparison of being waterboarded and working in IT.

Yours, who has moved into a new county and have told the neighbours that I know nothing about computers and, thus, can't fix anything.

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RIP... almost: Brit high street gadget shack Maplin Electronics

BongoJoe
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Re: Well at least

Sure, out in the sticks, you don't have it. But then you're probably miles from a Maplins anyway. But if you're in a Prime Now area, there is almost no point in going near a retail store for... well... most stuff really.

When we were living in our motorhome we ended up in a Prime Now area.

This was our first order

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BongoJoe
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Re: Well at least

Utterly clueless MBA types - I can get 90% of what I want easier and faster from Amazon or other online outlets.

The only way for shops to survive is to be a) very local b) a positive customer experience/ advice

Which means investing in product and staff - if they don't do either they are screwed.

If they don't make their stores "sticky" in a good way for consumers we will vote with our mice

They needed to the equivalent to the Four Candles hardware shop where you'd go in for a handful of diodes and a bagful of capacitors. In which the staff would stand and chat about dies, washers, taps to the punters who would lean on the long counter. There would always be a number of local tradesmen there coming in and the place would always be a-buzz.

I last went into a Maplins in a retail park outside of Durham and all I wanted was a sine-wave inverter for the motorhome, they had similar and cheaper (quality) but dear (price) but not as specified (not so sine, sine-wave wise).

The time prior to that was venturing into a branch in Kingston Up Thames, of all places. It was tucked down the back of an arcade somewhere. The place looked dusty, as in unused rather than interesting, no-one came to help and I couldn't find the simple tool that I needed.

My father, in his boffinary days, would order from them via catalogue and that worked. That is, when he couldn't find anything else in the back of ETI for cheaper.

I never understood what Maplins were actually for. Were they a high-tech geek toy-shop that was more or less ran like an Argos (i.e. ask no questions) or were they a component place?

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Fender's 'smart' guitar amp has no Bluetooth pairing controls

BongoJoe
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Re: As a practicing[0] guitarist ...

Alas, most amateur guitarists seem to believe 'if it doesn't sound good acoustic, I need to add more distortion pedals'.

Come now. I wouldn't call The Edge an amateur.

On, the other hand...

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BongoJoe
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Windows

Mine's the one with the band patches on for bands nobody else seems to have heard of..

Band patches? How very late seventies and eighties is that?

We used to hand embroider the names and logos onto our denim jackets. Do you know how long it took me to hand embroider the cover from Rainbow Rising onto mine? And then some whippersnapper comes along with a jacket that his mum has sewn a Saxon patch onto.

Pah!

(old fogie icon ------> )

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Cryptocurrencies kill people and may kill again, says Bill Gates

BongoJoe
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Guns don't kill people, rappers Kinder Eggs do .

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Microsoft's Windows 10 Workstation adds killer feature: No Candy Crush

BongoJoe
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Re: Price of Admission

On my (Windows 7) desktop I don't have a single icon. Not one.

All I look at is one of a random number of photographs on my desktop and if i want an application it's not too far away under the start button.

That's how I like it. Clean and my shui fenged out to the max.

This screenshot that you refer to is, I agree, utterly bewildering and completely unnecessary.

Remember the desktop picture as supplied by MS which was a grassy field which was being blown in a gentle breeze. That's the sort of thing that I would like to imagine that I can hear when I look at a computer screen not this tiled nonsense which convinces me that I can hear industrial sounds and white noise.

I'm off to rake some sand or something.

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You're decorating it wrong: Apple HomePod gives wood ring of death

BongoJoe
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Apple

I am surprised that Apple don't make a coaster from, er, Apple wood.

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