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* Posts by BongoJoe

1273 posts • joined 3 Apr 2010

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Make masses carry their mobes, suggests wig in not-at-all-creepy speech

BongoJoe
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Would there be a legal obligation in not carrying your AlwaysTurnedOnWeKnowWhereYouAre tracking device in a Faraday cage?

And as I live in an area where there's no signal (even though 95% of the population are in signal zones) does that make me an outlaw?

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Microsoft programming chief to devs: Tell us where Windows hurt you

BongoJoe
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Visual Studio 6

Go and find the original VS 6 code.

Add in a DVD worth of proper documentation unlike what's on the MSDN part of your site which shows snippets of code that's untyped (VB)

And REMOVE that blasted SourceSafe which makes the Source repository very unSafe.

And update the installation part of the Visual Studio so that one doesn't need to make a zero byte MSJAVA.DLL file to get the thing working.

You know, I paid good money for Visual Studio 6 and, to me, it's worth a lot more than the current .Net fiasco. If I want to knock up, or edit, a form layout in VB6 it takes seconds. With .Net it can take upto five minutes to get the screen to show the form.

I would love VS6 to be updated with a pure C compiler that stands alone as a C compiler and nothing but a C compiler.

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Scammers use Google Maps to skirt link-shortener crackdown

BongoJoe
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Re: Why? Just why?

It's handy when some forums, email clients, messaging systems break the VeryLong URL into bits to fit on each line and only the first bit is given the anchor tag which borks the whole URL business.

I don't use URL shorteners and I never click on them anyway. If I can't see and know where they are pointing at I won't "engage the user experience" </MarketingMode>

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UK.gov demands urgent answers as TSB IT meltdown continues

BongoJoe
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Re: I wonder....

Assuming that they can tell that Account A's funds were transferred by someone logging in on Account B.

If they can do that, then why were Account A's details shown in real time?

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My PC makes ‘negative energy waves’, said user, then demanded fix

BongoJoe
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In the 90's golden age of SIMM chip replacements and static-inducing carpets in offices I used to regularly carry a box of Anti Static Adjustable Grounding Straps

Or just wash one's hands, don't dry them but shake them loose of droplets.

Damp hands won't discharge static. A boffinry trick my dad told me during his Strange Days at the Ministry of Good.

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BongoJoe
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Why not install a positive wave emitter, say a microwave with the door broken off, near their desk and explain that the interference from the two sets of waves will cancel the other out?

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Spring is all about new beginnings, but it could already be lights out for Windows' Fluent Design

BongoJoe
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Re: "therefore the only one that developers will use is Win32."

If it's not in my ancient copy of Petzold, then I'm not interested.

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Apple, if you want to win in education, look at what sucks about iPads

BongoJoe
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Re: Tablets and STEM

>Mike16. Upvote from me for the obvious comparison of being waterboarded and working in IT.

Yours, who has moved into a new county and have told the neighbours that I know nothing about computers and, thus, can't fix anything.

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RIP... almost: Brit high street gadget shack Maplin Electronics

BongoJoe
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Re: Well at least

Sure, out in the sticks, you don't have it. But then you're probably miles from a Maplins anyway. But if you're in a Prime Now area, there is almost no point in going near a retail store for... well... most stuff really.

When we were living in our motorhome we ended up in a Prime Now area.

This was our first order

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BongoJoe
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Re: Well at least

Utterly clueless MBA types - I can get 90% of what I want easier and faster from Amazon or other online outlets.

The only way for shops to survive is to be a) very local b) a positive customer experience/ advice

Which means investing in product and staff - if they don't do either they are screwed.

If they don't make their stores "sticky" in a good way for consumers we will vote with our mice

They needed to the equivalent to the Four Candles hardware shop where you'd go in for a handful of diodes and a bagful of capacitors. In which the staff would stand and chat about dies, washers, taps to the punters who would lean on the long counter. There would always be a number of local tradesmen there coming in and the place would always be a-buzz.

I last went into a Maplins in a retail park outside of Durham and all I wanted was a sine-wave inverter for the motorhome, they had similar and cheaper (quality) but dear (price) but not as specified (not so sine, sine-wave wise).

The time prior to that was venturing into a branch in Kingston Up Thames, of all places. It was tucked down the back of an arcade somewhere. The place looked dusty, as in unused rather than interesting, no-one came to help and I couldn't find the simple tool that I needed.

My father, in his boffinary days, would order from them via catalogue and that worked. That is, when he couldn't find anything else in the back of ETI for cheaper.

I never understood what Maplins were actually for. Were they a high-tech geek toy-shop that was more or less ran like an Argos (i.e. ask no questions) or were they a component place?

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Fender's 'smart' guitar amp has no Bluetooth pairing controls

BongoJoe
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Re: As a practicing[0] guitarist ...

Alas, most amateur guitarists seem to believe 'if it doesn't sound good acoustic, I need to add more distortion pedals'.

Come now. I wouldn't call The Edge an amateur.

On, the other hand...

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BongoJoe
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Windows

Mine's the one with the band patches on for bands nobody else seems to have heard of..

Band patches? How very late seventies and eighties is that?

We used to hand embroider the names and logos onto our denim jackets. Do you know how long it took me to hand embroider the cover from Rainbow Rising onto mine? And then some whippersnapper comes along with a jacket that his mum has sewn a Saxon patch onto.

Pah!

(old fogie icon ------> )

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Cryptocurrencies kill people and may kill again, says Bill Gates

BongoJoe
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Guns don't kill people, rappers Kinder Eggs do .

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Microsoft's Windows 10 Workstation adds killer feature: No Candy Crush

BongoJoe
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Re: Price of Admission

On my (Windows 7) desktop I don't have a single icon. Not one.

All I look at is one of a random number of photographs on my desktop and if i want an application it's not too far away under the start button.

That's how I like it. Clean and my shui fenged out to the max.

This screenshot that you refer to is, I agree, utterly bewildering and completely unnecessary.

Remember the desktop picture as supplied by MS which was a grassy field which was being blown in a gentle breeze. That's the sort of thing that I would like to imagine that I can hear when I look at a computer screen not this tiled nonsense which convinces me that I can hear industrial sounds and white noise.

I'm off to rake some sand or something.

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You're decorating it wrong: Apple HomePod gives wood ring of death

BongoJoe
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Apple

I am surprised that Apple don't make a coaster from, er, Apple wood.

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BongoJoe
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Re: Lace Doily

I realize your post was tongue-in-cheek, however, looking at the general aesthetic of the HomePod, I think a nice white lace doily would actually look very nice and complement the unit.

How about one of those doll things with a lacy skirt that go over spare toilet rolls as seen in 3rd rate seaside resort guest houses?

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BongoJoe
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Re: Wood is not minimalistic.

Betting they'll adapt the pod to leave an apple logo, instead of a ring after this

Sidenote: I've just filled in the medical form for the local medical practice as I've just moved into the area. And I've left a wine stain ring on the bit where it asks about how many units I consume in a week...

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From tomorrow, Google Chrome will block crud ads. Here's how it'll work

BongoJoe
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Re: Not half-way good enough.

I run a popular website. I do have a few static advertising links on my blog in the middle of a well written article. That's fine as far as I am concerned as I am the one making sure that link is simply a static link to a page.

Then I get these large advertising giants who want me to put my site inside a massive wall of JavaScript. And I mean massive. The script has no line feeds, useless variable names and is clearly designed not to debugged and analysed.

When I get these JavaScript samples from these advertising agencies I always ask for an version of the code that is human readable and with documentation.

I have never once had my request granted. I have no intention of letting these JavaScript walls onto my site: I don't even have a Google Analytics script running as I feel that the only JavaScript on a site should be a single line of code to put the cursor into the first text input box.

Anyway, if these agencies refuse to let us know what they are wanting us to put on our websites then there's no way that I will have them on my website. And if I don't trust them not to put them onto my website then there's no way that I am going to trust them as a visitor to the site.

So, it's adblockers, HOSTS files and subscription sites all the way for me.

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Bloke sues Microsoft: Give me $600m – or my copy of Windows 7 back

BongoJoe
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Re: how long ago was this?

It may be the lack of caffeine here but I couldn't see any indication of when this stuff happened.

The gentleman may have been trying to communicate with Microsoft for months, perhaps years, and after getting shoved from pillar to post has decided to recourse to this action.

I would imagine that at far as he is concerned he started off with a working computer and then an update broke it. That, in his mind, puts the fault firmly and squarely at Microsoft's door.

Furthermore, the massive tag on the law suit isn't to get $600m but to make Microsoft sit up, take notice and give him what he bought in the first place: a functioning version of Windows 7.

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Yorkshire cops have begun using on-the-spot fingerprint scanners

BongoJoe
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Re: Not on IDENT1

Privacy is only wanted bu the rich,police,politicians and terrorist/criminals. Which one are you

None of the above. But at least I am not posting as an AC. So, which of the above are you?

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BongoJoe
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Re: Not on IDENT1

After all only people with stuff to hide would refuse.

I would refuse. Even if I had nothing to hide.

No, that's wrong. I do have something to hide: my personal and private business.

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BongoJoe
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Re: Non binary DNA

Not to mention YYZ...

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Boffins upload worm's brain into a computer, teach it tricks

BongoJoe
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Wouldn't it contain only half a worm?

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Home taping revisited: A mic in each hand, pointing at speakers

BongoJoe
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Re: Pics, or it didn't happen!

I tried the black velvet jacket, denim shirt and neckerchief approach but couldn't manage the mustache.

I thought that I looked like Jon Lord. Jon Lord perhaps would have thought that I looked like a knob.

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BongoJoe
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Re: Bodging the 60's

We did do this. And then there was a market for mix tapes in the playground after the question was invariably asked, "was it recorded by mike or (gasp!) was it recorded by wire?"

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BongoJoe
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Re: Pixie Boots

If that made you dance around on one leg then you're Ian Anderson and I claim my five pounds!

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BongoJoe
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Shirley

while a generic Gene Hunt kicks me in the nuts and calls me a "nonce".

Wouldn't it have been Jack Regan?

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Morrisons launches bizarre Yorkshire Pudding pizza thing

BongoJoe
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Thankfully one can now get it online.

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No Windows 10, no Office 2019, says Microsoft

BongoJoe
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Ah, but sometimes some of these 'macros' or, shall we say, VBA are very useful in these applications.

I look around at the Excel documents that I use daily and wonder how I would get the job done without VBA at all. It's not just middle managers who use this stuff but people who, well, use the stuff and use it well.

Don't get me wrong. I am not a MS luvvie. I would happily ditch everything MS tomorrow if I could, if only someone were to port all my Visual Studio code, all of my Office stuff and everything Microsofty to something else. Truly I would, and I speak as a coder who has been suffering since the first days of Visual Basic.

But I accept that I am locked in and it's quicker for me to await personal retirement (I don't work for anyone else but make money from the various markets) than to recode everything. But that's not my point is: the point is that it's not all middle managers who use VBA. They have other ways to make your life hell.

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NHS: Thanks for the free work, Linux nerds, now face our trademark cops

BongoJoe
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Re: Wait...

I once sent a memo around where I worked on Durham Prison headed notepaper.

The bosses were less than impressed.

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Crypto-cash exchange BitConnect pulls plug amid Bitcoin bloodbath

BongoJoe
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Question

Is it still not a bubble?

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BongoJoe
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Re: Hodl o-on loosely...

Yes, in a past life in which I had clearly done something awful...

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OK, Google: Why does Chromecast clobber Wi-Fi connections?

BongoJoe
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Re: Bought one a while back, returned it almost immediately

That was very reminiscent of our Amazon Fire Stick. It would continually download screensaver pictures and block our broadband.

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Remember those holy tech wars we used to have? Heh, good times

BongoJoe
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Sinclair QL or Amiga

That was a good one in its time.

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Proposed Brit law to ban b**tards brandishing bots to bulk-buy tickets

BongoJoe
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Re: Small bands

I know people who fly to overseas venues, stay in a hotel and it works out cheaper than watching the band in the local UK arena.

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FCC douses America's net neutrality in gas, tosses over a lit match

BongoJoe
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That Video

I am astounded at That Video. This is a commissioner who is supposed to act with dignity and consider all of the angles and implications.

This looked like something that was dreamed up by the writers of House of Cards as a spoof because I am sure that the internet is a little more than taking pictures of food. Or it was the last time that I looked.

Of course, this could be nothing more than a dream inspired by a lump of bad cheese that's....

....Carrier Lost. Please add $5 to your internet meter....

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Tired of despairing of Trump and Brexit? Why not despair about YouTube stars instead?

BongoJoe
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Re: So?

...and getting knighthoods for just Reading Out Aloud!

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New Capita system has left British Army recruits unable to register online

BongoJoe
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select count(*) from applicants where date_of_application >= <this years recruitment start date>

or did someone forget to add the date of application into the table.

Or the Code assumed the date to be in British Format whereas the date format internally within the database was in American Format. And some developers catered for this difference and some didn't.

I've seen that before. Which is why on anything to do with dates I always start from the base date of 1/1/1970 (either format, of course) and then do anything with dates as Integers based on this. A pain but, oddly enough, everything that I have touched never got that wrong.

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Disk drive fired 'Frisbees of death' across data centre after storage admin crossed his wires

BongoJoe
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Re: Recycle platters from modern hard disks

But if you get your disk from landfill, make sure it's not the one with £180m of bitcoin on it.

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Los Angeles police tell drivers not to trust navigation apps as wildfires engulf area

BongoJoe
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Re: Techdrone

One of the health and safety notices that I have saved came with my drumstool: "Do not use in earthquakes"

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New Jersey lawmakers propose ban on folks drunk droning

BongoJoe
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Re: Is that enough?

Car drivers need situational awareness in only two dimensions

I would have thought it was a lot more than just two. There's time as well to consider as well as the plain vector. Such as, if I slow down will there be enough room for the oncoming car which is now moving off on an angle away from directly on, or if I put another few mph onto my speed, will I get into the passing place coming up and will I be able to stop? Is there ice on the road and, if so, are my rear wheels following the same path as my front wheels?

But cars turn and there's all sort of differential equations going on in real time in one's head to anticipate where things are going.

So, I would say two dimensional awareness isn't anywhere sufficient.

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Spy-on-your-home Y-Cam cameras removes free cloud storage bit

BongoJoe
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Re: Lifetime Guarantee!

Like pacemakers.

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From the graaaaaave! WileyFox's Windows 10 phone delayed again

BongoJoe
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Re: Only but if you like shit customer service.

Oh, sounds like you didn't get your purchase rebate either.

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Royal Bank of Scotland culls 1 in 4 branches, blames the interwebz

BongoJoe
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Re: Last Bank In Town

I noticed that NatWest and the old Midland solve that tricky problem of remaining to be the last bank in town by both arranging to shut down on the same day.

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Scotland, now is your time… to launch Brexit Britain into SPAAAACE!

BongoJoe
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Re: The ideal location

I think that I may regret moving to Scotland...

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BongoJoe
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Re: @GBE They're going to move it.

Having held a kilt for my friend one time

Why? What on earth was he doing at the time that required someone to hold his kilt for him?

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Thou shalt use our drone app, UK.gov to tell quadcopter pilots

BongoJoe
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... and we were completely unable to sort out the education system to keep it going.

Exactly.

The education system kept churning out Middle Managers which were the bane of my techie life.

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A certain millennial turned 30 recently: Welcome to middle age, Microsoft Excel v2

BongoJoe
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Re: Classic software

I still use a version of Paint Shop Pro, pretty much on a daily basis. Version 1 released in 1990.

I use PSP on a near daily basis too. My version is v8 which came out in 2003 and works well. For what I use it for I can't imagine a better tool even though I assume that it's been improved significantly since that year.

caveat: Assuming, of course, that one installs that patch which allows to save over an pre-existing file (yes, that was a bit of a corking bug)

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BongoJoe
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Re: 30 years on...

Oh yes, indeed

And try to explain what you mean to a user, over a telephone, that they have perhaps opened a new instance of Excel rather than opened a spreadsheet into the same instance of Excel...

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