* Posts by JimmyPage

3215 publicly visible posts • joined 5 Mar 2010

Bacon sarnies can kill: Official

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Joke

Just remember the old joke:

Doctor: I'm afraid you've only got 3 months to live

Patient: My god, is there anything I can do ?

Doctor: Yes. Give up drinking. Sex. Red meat. Cigarettes. Sex. Television, Chocolate and Crisps.

Patient: Will I live longer ?

Doctor: No, but it'll feel like it.

DWP denies major IT problems with One Dole To Rule Them All system

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FAIL

Government IT ????

Does anyone remember the IR/HMRC/Fujitsu fiasco ? As I recall when the tender came up no-one would bid for it, citing (quite correctly) that it was pretty much a done deal, since the incumbent would always have the advantage of not needing to port data. (Boy those proprietary data formats are so well suited to public infrastructure). So they weren't about to spunk millions on a wasted bid.

Then the EU barked about HMG needing to prove it had considered alternative tenders. So HMG had to use OUR MONEY to give to IBM, and Capita (IIRC) so they could deliver a bid which could then be ignored.

It's hard not to think FAIL about government IT.

BRITAIN MUST DECLARE WAR on Cervinaean menace

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Coffee/keyboard

@AC 13:40

now it's my machine that looks pebbledashed ;)

RBS and NatWest FAIL downs services across UK

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FAIL

Not the best thing for RBS ...

another inducement for the customers with money (you know, they ones they need) to switch, leaving behind the customers they don't need ...

For anyone changing, I'd suggest Nationwide. It's not a bank, and in 3 years (since Halifax ****ed us off) they've got nothing wrong.

Carrie Fisher dusts off THAT bikini for Star Wars VII

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Great SOH ...

having seen Ms Fisher in the "Bring back Star Wars" "documentary", I couldn't help but be struck by a wicked sense of humor ...

O2 flogs new GPS mobile-based telecare to sick and elderly

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Headmaster

Did you not read the first paragraph of the article?

Yes. It seems somewhat truncated ....

Canonical announces Mir display server to replace X Windows

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Meh

Huh ?

The one part of Linux I have no problem with is X ... and it works perfectly over a network with little resources.

Prepare for 'post-crypto world', warns godfather of encryption

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Black Helicopters

I mentioned before

it's just pointless willy waving to base your faith in code on the fact you compiled it yourself unless you also wrote the compiler.

AND reviewed the CPU architecture you compiled it on, and you intend to run it on.

Seriously, how many people have gone through every possible opcode on a pentium, and checked it does what it says it does.

Including the undocumented ones.

Megaupload extradition bid - Feds WON'T have to hand in their evidence

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Meh

Not sure about NZ ...

They seem to be a plucky little country - not afraid to bitchslap the US when needs be. Also they have a thriving home distilling market, and have just proposed a very sensible redrafting of drugs laws.

Is there much room there ;)

Squillionaire space tourist offers oldsters a holiday to Mars

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Is it just me, or is this a little bit of a wasted opportunity ?

Whilst I admire the ambition, is this project actually the best way to advance space exploration ?

Why not concentrate closer to home first ? I'm thinking more about lunar exploitation - which might then make a Mars mission a bit easier .

That said, thumbs up for giving us a little bit of inspiration. Seems crazy we last went to the moon over 40 years ago, Concorde is history, and wages are falling ....

Apple, Facebook, Google: Same-sex marriage 'a business imperative'

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WTF?

Re: Consumation

wasn't failure to address the definition of consumation one of the reasons why they also had to remove adultery as grounds for divorce ?

German boffins turn ALCOHOL into hydrogen at low temp

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Re: The attraction is Methanol is *easy* to handle.

@Vladimir Plouzhnikov:

I think you'll find that's a self-limiting problem ...

Brit firm PinPlus flogs another password 'n' PIN killer

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Re: Yes...

@AC 13:15 - One thing you can do to help yourself is to obliterate the CVV number as soon as you get a new card (after memorising it first ;) ). And watch out for any cashier who notices it's not there.

JimmyPage Silver badge

At least 15 years ago

there was a story (Tomorrows World) about a system using faces. The touchscreen shows a grid of (say) 9 faces. Your "PIN" is 4 of them. Of course each selection of 9 is different each time - including placement.

Given the low cost of screens nowadays, this is much more viable. To make it easier, maybe customers could supply their own pics ?

However as long as banks can palm losses off on customers, there's little incentive to change.

BBC's new bosses - the lawyers - strike out Savile probe testimony

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Re: 1970's tech, too

better than the hi-tech CIA method of using black text on a black background in Adobe ....

Council IT bod in the dock for flogging scrap work PC parts

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Boffin

Wee legal note

(IANAL).

English & Welsh (I have been told off for saying "UK" thanks to the Scots) law has repeatedly held that *unauthorised* removal of items from a bin is theft.

You know that old saying about "possession being 9 points of the law" ? It really means that laws surrounding property are very well established. The bottom line in England and Wales is that *everything* belongs to *someone*.

You put rubbish in your bin - it's yours until the authorised collection happens. And case law has held that if it's a municipal bin, the authorised collector is the local council. Not the Wombles.

There are quite a few people with criminal records that didn't grasp this crucial fact.

JimmyPage Silver badge
Mushroom

The people grumbling the council didn't make £10,000

are they the same that bay for blood when councils lose personal data ?

What's NFC? PayPal lobs Chip and PIN readers at UK small biz

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"European" C&P

Was intrigued, a couple of years ago in Spain, to note they have C&P *and* signature. As the cashier told me "Even if the C&P were OK, if the signatures don't match - the bank don't pay."

I wonder if this reduces fraud ?

Happy birthday, LP: Can you believe it's only 65?

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More old-fuckery !

Some computing mags had flexi-discs you could play into a computers TAPE IN, to access programs printed in the mag.

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Tubular Bells

"This stereo record cannot be played on old tin boxes no matter what they are fitted with. If you are in possession of such equipment please hand it into the nearest police station."

Where's the "old fuckers going on again" icon ?

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In those days ...

music wasn't just music ... it was a sensory experience.

We really need a "old fucker going on again" icon .....

Ubuntu? Fedora? Mint? Debian? We'll find you the right Linux to swallow

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Coat

Who remembers ...

Stob's take on this ?

The conscientious would-be Linux user should take time to mull over the pros and cons of the Red Hat versus SUSE, and Debian versus Gentoo. He will want to evaluate the various package installation schemes - comparing .deb with .rpm - and will spend many hours on the web absorbing great quantities of freely offered advice over whether to go for Gnome or risk post-Trolltech takeover KDE, or just run the whole thing in text mode, like a Real Beard.

After he has done all this, he will install Ubuntu, because that's what everybody does.

Ready or not: Microsoft preps early delivery of IE10 for Windows 7

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Re: Making me sure to turn "auto updates" off then

and chrome

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Meh

Does anyone else feel

that we might be moving towards an XP-in-a-virtual-machine direction, where corporates just virtualise what they have, and rely on the wrapper security of the environment ?

Sure MS worst nightmare - effectively immortalising XP.

Any storm in a port

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Horizontal USB sockets

aren't too bad - they seem to have an "up" and "down". It's the vertical ones (usually hidden well out of sight at the back of the machine) that cause problems ...

ICO: How 'sensitive' is personal data? Depends what it's used for...

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Flame

Rejected ?

I just say "prefer not to say". It's meaningless anyway, since it's all about "self identification".

I have never understood the logic that putting your race on an application form is a good way to prevent racism. Surely a better way is to NOT put your race, so any weeding out is done on merit. It's also totally contradicting the logic which says you eliminate ageism by removing the date of birth ...

Using monitoring and quotas is simply ignoring dealing with the real issue - which is why certain sections of society seem incapable of doing well.

The official iPhone actually runs Android - in Brazil

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Coat

Re: It takes 8 years ...!

They probably take 20 years to lay 100 miles of railway too, these backwards countries.

Perky smartphone figures can't stop droop of worldwide mobe sales

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But *why* did you change your phone ...

my phone history:

1994: Motorola M300 on 1-2-1 that lasted until 1997 when we (MrsJP and I) were given a Nokia (can't recall the model) which had no new features but was smaller with more talk/standby time

I actually revived the M300 for a couple of years when Virgin started - bought a SIM

2001 - moved up to a Philips Savvy. This was because I wanted to have SMS

2005 - moved up to a Sony W800, as I wanted bluetooth, and liked the idea of the walkman

2008 - was given an HTC by work

2009 - was given an N5800 by work

2011 - was given an HTC by work - still my main phone.

From 2005s W800i, the only things that have really been ADDED are 3G and WiFi. Beyond that why do I need a new phone. Sure, I *could* get an iPhone. But it wouldn't really give me anything I haven't got already. My only grumble with the HTC Windows phone is lack of apps, but nothing I actually need.

The next big thing could be 4G, but is it enough ? Especially as most people who might benefit will probably have WiFi enabled phones and a host of hotspots nearby.

JimmyPage Silver badge
Meh

As with desktops

so with mobiles. Everyone who wants one has one. Simples. Now we're entering the mature market phase, where you need to persuade people they should upgrade, or target people seeking replacements.

The past 15 years have seen a frenetic amount of R&D and innovation, but that's plateaued.

Remember all those out of work car marketing executives ? I hope you kept their number.

Intel's new TV box to point creepy spy camera at YOUR FACE

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Stop

Wish I could find this ad ...

read this, and it reminded me of an ad I saw in an advertising trade journal about verified viewing figures. It had a couple "making out" on a sofa in front of the TV with the great slogan:

"Whos screwing who ?"

IIRC it was an ad for a market reseach company.

Tesla vs Media again as Model S craps out on journo - on the highway

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Coat

Vaguely reminds me

of the time in the 80s, when anyone in the US who owned a Jag was teased about needing a second car for the days the Jag was off the road ....

UK doesn't have the SKILLS to save itself from cyber threats

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Mushroom

Re: I have an idea

I pay enough fucking tax, thank you. I have no interest in doing the states job for free.

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Flame

A true story

I may have told before ...

Back in 2009, my lad was due to chose his GCSE choices. The school held an open evening and 3 local universities all gave a presentation on why kids should aspire to go to university (and thus the choices they should consider).

One chap told us of a student that had graduated in 2007, that had moved to America with her company, and was earning over £40,000 a year. Her company ? Chase Manhattan. Her course ? "Politics and history". Not a doctor. Not an engineer. No cure for cancer from her. No solution to the world energy or hunger crisis from her.

The fact that she was the aspiration this odious smarmy little shit chose to parade in front of 14 year old kids tells me exactly why things are the way they are.

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Flame

Chickens coming home to roost

so, totally debase science and technology teaching over a period of years. Allow and encourage a celeb-obsessed culture where the height of aspiration is to flash your bits on big brother. Ignore, and belittle scientists and experts in favour of political expediency.

And THEN act surprised we're not keeping up in the read world.

Well, colour me surprised.

Dish boss on ad-skipping service: 'I don’t want to kill ads'

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Could this be an end

for the business model where the broadcaster gets paid by the advertisers AND the viewers ?

Public told to go to hell, name Pluto's two new moons

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Sagan and Moore

thats all.

LinkedIn proves not all social IPOs were bubbly

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Meh

In two minds ...

LinkedIn was nice - I've got a nice profile, and some great recommendations. However I've only connected with colleagues (old and present) and people I studied with, in the same industry. And I can't say I've ever benefited from being on there.

Now, of late, I've started getting loads of invites from "industry experts" which turn out to be recruitment consultants with 1,000s of contacts. Which I'm not interested in. Which means I haven't actually logged in this year.

Go figure.

2e2 cloud cash fiasco puts NHS IT and biz 'over a barrel'

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Flame

It's heartening to read

a lot of commentards get the concept of business continuity, and due diligence. I have zero sympathy for any company that suffers as a result of this, and hope the incompetent managers who caused that suffering are ejected at very high velocity. If any publicly funded organisation is affected then there should be sackings. We're constantly being told why the NHS needs such highly paid managers - I would argue it's to avoid shit like this, not walk straight into it.

If you outsource a critical part of your business operations, then you need to plan for the day it isn't there. Simples. And that process should have been part of the initial outsource, not a sticking plaster over a bad deal. If, as part of your outsourcing you discover you can't plan for such a day (say a monopoly supplier) then you really need to ask yourself if you should be outsourcing that process at all.

Having seen a proper due diligence in action, I know that it's not uncommon for big clients to request bank statements, audited accounts, historic headcounts, and a whole load of minutia before they consider spending a single penny with a supplier.

Personally (and I'm not even a business continuity specialists, I just know a few). My first question to 2e2 would have involved escrow for the hosting, so that even if 2e2 went down, their datacentres would have provision to overrun until clients had recovered their data. But then I didn't go to the right public school.

Tennessee bloke quits job over satanic wage slip

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Coat

668

The neighbour of the beast

Psst, wanna block nuisance calls? BT'll do it... for a price

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Flame

How out of date are their lists ?

Me and MrsJP got married in 2007, yet not only are we STILL getting calls asking for her maiden name[1], but they are increasing. From loads of different numbers, although if they get as far as speaking, they all seem to be about PPI.

The weirdest thing is despite us both living here together for over 10 years, I don't get *any* calls. At all. Which implies that she somehow signed up for something which snaffled her details and they are now being repeatedly sold on, and on, and on.

Some get quite arsey when we (correctly) tell them there is no one of that name living here. We've had others try and verify the postcode too - who get told in no uncertain terms to sod off.

[1]When they hear my voice, they switch to "Is that Mr <maiden name>". Creeps.

Stricken 2e2 threatens data centres: Your money or your lights

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Facepalm

Sounds fair to me ...

although I can forsee a slew of downvotes ...

Windows Phone 8 hasn't slowed Microsoft's mobile freefall

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FAIL

The art of the bleeding obvious ..

This isn't the 90s, or even the 2000s. The market dynamic has changed - forever. Nobody (and I mean NOBODY) I know is in any kind of hurry for a *new* smartphone. I have my (works) Win7.8 HTC. My lad has a Nokia 5800, and wifey[1] has her HTC Android. The only person I know who does regularly update their phone is the (retired) mother in law. Who's drunk the Apple kool-aid, so will only get the latest iPhone.

So Win8, Win9, Win10 with four "M's" and a silent "Q" are a total and utter irrelevance.

It's the same for desktops. We're all running 4 year old machines, with Win7. Absolutely no need to upgrade.

There's a certain schadenfreude here. Your Microsofts and Apples et al had a field day when the IT landscape was new, unknown, and scary. But it's evolved into a mature market now, and all those old-fogies who were left behind by the tech rush are now your greatest assets, as they are much more familiar with working in a mature market. If you want to sell Windows8, you need to get someone who's successfully sold cheese, or pot noodles on board - they'd have a better idea than someone who's only ever done tech.

Cable Cowboy lassoes Virgin Media with HUGE £15bn deal

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Stop

It makes stuff all difference where anything is

A US company is under the heel of the PATRIOT act. If they get slapped with a notice, they have to pony up the data (or shut the servers down) wherever they are. Safe harbour can go hang.

This is what MS admitted last year, and why people need to be so careful.

3 Brits banged up for £300k VAT scam

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POCA

also, I hope a Proceeds Of Crime order was levelled on them, so they can pay back the ill gotten dosh.

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Meh

or ....

Try this graphic.

BANG and the server's gone: Man gets 8 months for destroying work computers

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Stop

Re: Physical security of server room ?

Now for the flipside ;)

The physical security was mandated by a security audit (before I started). So far so good. However, there were boxes in the server room that developers *did* need access to. So we installed a KVM over IP solution, and developers could access the boxes over the network. Now this was user and password protected, but as a couple of guys pointed out, when you had to have physical access, there was at least the chance an imposter/hacker would be seen (bearing in mind they still had to get past the 3 card locks to get to the floor with the server room). Doing things over the network was *less* secure.

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FAIL

Physical security of server room ?

In my last office job, as a development manager, even I had no access to our server rooms. And that was in a company of over 1,000 employees. IIRC about 8 people had access - it wasn't even the entire Tech Services team. Someone pulling a stunt like this would have been rumbled in hours.

First the NYT, now the Wall Street Journal: But are hacking attacks from China new?

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Slightly OT

but does anyone else get a warm glow at the thought of Rupert Murdoch being hacked ?

We're not making this up: Apple trademarks the SHOP

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FAIL

Prior art ?

The city centre PCWorld/Currys has a very similar look, only in dark, muted colours .....

'Silent but deadly' Java security update breaks legacy apps - dev

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Coat

Versions: does anyone remember Lenny Henry ...

years ago, he commented on the difficulty in buying a record[1] ...

"Do you want the 12", the the extended 12", the club mix, the extended club mix, the club house mix, the 12" club house mix featuring Sir Skankalot, the dub house mix ....."

"Just give me the one where they got it right."

[1]Ask your parents. Or their parents.