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* Posts by David 132

1061 posts • joined 1 Mar 2010

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LG's beer-making bot singlehandedly sucks all fun, boffinry from home brewing

David 132
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Re: To brew American beer.....

Whereas to brew Australian beer, you just need an elderly kangaroo with bladder control problems.

Just kidding, my antipodean friends.

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David 132
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Re: Get a keg

Here in the States, most brewpubs will sell you a 64oz jug of beer/cider - usually made of glass but some of the fancier ones are copper and even double-walled. More convenient than a cask/keg, and an easier way to get the beer home than putting the pint glass in your coat pocket, Eddie Hitler-style.

The jugs are called "growlers". I mentioned this in passing to my brother back in the UK recently, and he collapsed in schoolboy giggles. I'm guessing that the term has another meaning in the rightpond zone? *innocent expression*

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Have a gander at this: Amazon agrees not to act as Silicon Valley's foie gras dealer

David 132
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Weed be lost without their puns.

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College PRIMOS prankster wreaks havoc with sysadmin manuals

David 132
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AC Red headed southerner?...

Nope. Dark-haired bearded bloke with no apparent anger issues. It seems it was mandatory in the ‘80s for school IT teachers to have the surname Higgins.

It’s probably a tradition, or an old charter or something.

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David 132
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Mushroom

Ken Hagan Over in the Chemistry department, the course on Explosives is a real blast

Ah yes. And for bonus credits and a guaranteed 'A' grade*, selected students get to manufacture Dioxygen Diflouride.

* conferred posthumously

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David 132
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@gw0udm Oh, that’s hilarious. Soon as I read your original post I thought “oh, that sounds just like my school experience.”

What are the odds?

I remember the 6502 co-processor (the “tube”) that was on the BBC B in the corner of the room. It was a file-server, so it had been upgraded - TWO 5.25” disk drives, the tube, and ISTR there was a Teletext decoder there too but I might be mistaken.

I was there between 1985 (Removes) and 1992 (Upper Sixth). I have fond memories of the place. There were some good teachers there. I recall with particular fondness Mrs Flitcroft the formidable French mistress & the awesome English masters Mr Philpott & Mr Nelson - it sounds corny, but they were dedicated, committed, and really inspired me, so thanks all of you, wherever you are now.

I went back to the old place a couple of months ago when I was in England on business. Didn’t go in but drove around the car-park (and am probably logged on CCTV as a suspicious lurker, as a result). A lot’s changed. Can’t cross the same river twice, and all that.

Still hated the mandatory end-of-term cathedral services, though. Two hours on a cold stone (and stone-cold, ahaha) pew? No thanks.

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David 132
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Headmaster

Aaaah, that brings back memories. My school had a lab of about 20 Beebs - mostly Bs, but with a handful of Master 128Ks towards the end of my time there. All were linked over Econet. There was a “hacking toolkit” (ahem) that the cool kids got a copy of (and me, somehow. I was never one of the cool kids.)

As I recall, it was called “The Gremlin”, and had all the features mentioned above. Crash another machine, send text to the screen/keyboard buffer, capture a copy of the remote screen - much fun for kids whose sense of ethics and diligence was, uh, still forming.

I also recall having great fun making wiggly patterns on the Microvitec Cub monitors with a large horseshoe magnet. Mr Higgins the computing teacher, if you’re reading this, consider this a very belated apology...

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Microsoft polishes up Chromium as EdgeHTML peers into the abyss

David 132
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Headmaster

Re: So wither those "MS Only" outfits ?

Good point. But I am a compulsive pedant and cannot stop myself from pointing out that the word you want is “whither”.

Unless you were urging MS only outfits to decay and atrophy and shrink. Which I suppose works, too.

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David 132
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No... as the article alluded., I just use the built-in browser to download a better alternative (Firefox, in my opinion/case).

Actually - and I know this is vindictive, petty, and pointless of me - I make a point, on a clean Windows installation, of using IE to download Firefox, and not even using Edge for that. I just got annoyed too much by Microsoft’s sly attempts to force use of Edge (eg nagging when I try to change the default browser, and Edge icons re-appearing on the desktop after seemingly every Windows Update.)

Fear my nerd wrath, Microsoft!

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David 132
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Re: Take your browser and fuck off

0laf, I regret I have only one upvote to give.

Hey Microsoft, here’s a tip for you: if something’s genuinely good, people will tend to discover it on their own or by word-of-mouth. If you have to cajole people into using your browser, you’ve already lost.

I remember reading here quite recently that MS had tried the tactic, in a Windows test build, of intercepting user attempts to run Firefox_Setup.exe and showing an interstitial “Are you suuuuuure you won’t try Edge?” wheedling dialog. Pathetic, and would have ticked me off even more than does the nag when you try to change default browser.

Basically, Edge is the browser equivalent of Talkie Toaster.

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Giraffe hacks printers worldwide to promote God-awful YouTuber. Did we read that one right?

David 132
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Re: Interesting

jake I support a PDP. A dozenish, actually. Mostly -10s and -11s ...

So no doubt at this time of year you’re busy moving them all to corridors?

As in, “DEC the halls”?

(Oh, please yourselves.)

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Google internal revolt grows as search-engine Spartacuses prepare strike over China

David 132
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Big Brother

Do No Evil

"The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.”

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OneDrive is broken: Microsoft's cloudy storage drops from the sky for EU users

David 132
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Re: Daily dose

Dwarf "I wonder how many other internally visible services have amber monitoring right now ???"

"More services are down. Go to red alert."

"Are you sure sir? It will mean changing the bulb..."

(with apologies to Red Dwarf)

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Why is my Windows 10 preview build ticking? Microsoft reminds users that previews have timebombs

David 132
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Re: Getting fruity?

Well, at least one of my other computers shows an Apple symbol in one corner of the screen... maybe Microsoft are just paying homage. Or perhaps it's their way of saying "orange you glad we have updates"..?

Sorry. I'm plum out of decent fruit puns.

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David 132
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Re: Fluent design?

No, it’s on a computer, so it’s e-fluent design. The hyphen is optional.

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David 132
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Re: Also in this build...

Hans 1 "Basically, disable Cortana in GPO and web search."

Oh, agreed, although Microsoft have tended to ignore a lot of those GPO policies lately - they're still there when you fire up the Group Policy Editor, but many of them don't actually have any effect unless you're running Education or Enterprise variants of the OS.

But my point - made with my usual clunking attempt at humor, sorry - was that it would be nice to see simple, obvious options for this in the UI. At this point I'd even put up with Microsoft's usual games, whereby they put an option there in 6 point font, dark blue on a slightly-darker-blue background, and when you click on it it pops up with "Are you sure you don't want to not unset this option? [OK | Yes]".

Edit: and re the removal of Candy Crush & the other shovelware... I built a clean installation of 1809 Pro on a Thinkpad earlier this week. I set the GPO to "disable consumer experience", turned off all the "occasionally show suggestions in start/taskbar" options I could find, and still got an unending stream of notifications that "Dolby ProAudio has installed! Check it out!" "Realtek Audio Console has installed! Check it out!" "Legends of Candy Saga Lootbox of Duty Turismo has installed! Check it out!".

So while I acknowledge your own experience and suggestions, I'm not happy with Microsoft.

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David 132
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FAIL

Also in this build...

...simple UI options for: disabling automatic download of crap like Candy Crush; disabling telemetry; and disabling web search when you're just trying to launch VLC but instead get a list of everything the world's 1 remaining Bing user has ever searched for including that term.

Oh, and also in this build, a leprechaun pops out of the USB port every 5 minutes and waves at you.

All of the above statements are equally true.

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Mystery sign-poster pities the fool who would litter the UK's West Midlands

David 132
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Re: Another design approach:

Good idea, but wouldn't help some people. Ever browsed reddit.com/r/carbage? Some people are just slobs.

I was driving up the A41 towards Whitchurch some years ago, following a Land Cruiser. The knobheads in it were throwing out a piece of trash about every 50 yards. Cups, crisp packets, cigarettes... disgusting. Hanging's definitely too good for morons like that.

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Question: How fast is the Windows 10 October 2018 Update rolling out? Answer: Not very

David 132
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Oh Windows 10, you don't do yourself any favors.

Ironically, just as I was reading this article, my screen flickered black for a moment then came back, and I now have no audio. Windows 10 (1803, not even 1809) has just "helpfully" auto-installed new - faulty - drivers for my graphics & HDMI display audio. I've now spent 10 minutes trying to roll it back, without success. Pardon me for venting my frustration in this comment.

Thanks, Microsoft. $##%@&!

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Doctors join wombats in sh!tting bricks to help parents relax about kids chowing down on Lego

David 132
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AC My sister swallowed a car door* as a toddler.

Was she prescribed a Corsa laxatives?

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David 132
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Re: And for the brave or sheer foolish ....

Pffft, get out of here with your Duplo pabulum. Real men swallow Sticklebricks or Meccano.

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David 132
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Award-winning research right here.

And by "Award", I'm thinking the IgNobel. Should be a shoo-in for 2019.

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David 132
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Re: Obligatory

...or if you can't, at least go through the motions?

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Microsoft readies the swatter as more bugs wriggle out of the Windows 10 woodwork

David 132
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AC Don't all cyborgs have a "kill switch"?

Killbots have a preset kill limit - just ask Zap Brannigan...

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David 132
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Re: Also breaks Windows iCloud client

And by "it" you of course mean iCloud, and not 1809.

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Baroness Trumpington, former Bletchley Park clerk, dies aged 96

David 132
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Re: Advocatus Diaboli

Daedalus, haven't you ever heard the guidance "do not speak ill of the dead"?

There are no such injunctions regarding the living, however, so allow me to warn that in your utterings here you're tending to come across as just another bitter, shrivelled left-wing miserablist with a chip on his shoulder a mile wide.

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David 132
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Re: Don't make them like they used to.

My favourite of her quotes was referenced in her obituary in today's Telegraph.

Apparently when she was being appointed a Baroness, the title of Trumpington belonged to someone else, so she was asked whether there was an alternative Cambridgeshire location she'd accept for her title.

"You don't think I'm going to call myself Lady Six Mile Bottom, do you?" she demanded.

...And subsequently got Trumpington.

RIP.

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Shocker: UK smart meter rollout is crap, late and £500m over budget

David 132
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Re: Reluctantly may have to get a smart meter.

Stoneshop A Raspberry Pi can easily control a servo or solenoid positioned to push that button for you, as well as run the cam. And you only need to power it up the moment you actually need to read the meter.

That's an excellent suggestion, but I can't help feeling that we're heading into Wallace & Gromit territory here. Something like this.

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David 132
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David Beckham’s at a press conference, fielding questions. In response to one request for his opinion, he pauses for a while, then says “Well, they taste nice and make my breath fresher”

There’s a stunned silence, then the journalist wearily says “No, I asked about TAC-TICS”

(But then, as my mum - and someone above, I see - likes to point out, considering he has a net worth of £lots, and those mocking him don’t, which of us is the thickie?)

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Great Scott! Is nothing sacred? US movie-goers vote Back To The Future as most-wanted reboot

David 132
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Mushroom

Re: Did'nt

Spaceballs had the wonderful scene where they were watching the VHS tape of the movie as it was being made, and found themselves watching themselves watching themselves, etc...

"What the hell am I looking at? When does this happen in the movie?"

"Now. You're looking at now, sir. Everything that happens now, is happening now."

"What happened to then?"

"We passed then."

"When?"

"Just now. We're at now now."

"Go back to then."

"When?"

"Now."

"I can't."

"Why?"

"We missed it."

The icon is for Spaceballs The Flamethrower ("the kids love this one")

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David 132
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Re: How unimaginative

Or any of the Troma films!

Or Ishtar - at least the remake couldn't be a bigger waste of celluloid.

I have a suspicion that "Brewster's Millions" will be the next one up for a remake - after all, it's only been made about a dozen times since the 1920s.

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David 132
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Re: Reboot Avatar? Yuck!

@MiguelC, I always preferred to refer to it as "Dances With Smurfs".

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David 132
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You are an evil genius, and I fear that two years from now we'll be re-reading your comment and thinking how prescient it was.

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Comparison sites cry foul over Google Shopping service

David 132
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Re: No better than spammers

Amen to that. I remember when these poor, hard-done-by comparison sites were given free reign to pollute Google search results. No matter what term you searched for, the first page would be a morass of links offering "Buy $SEARCHTERM here! Best prices on $SEARCHTERM!".

Good riddance.

Usual Brussels approach, though... if it's successful, tax and regulate it. If it's failing, subsidize it.

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Microsoft dropkicks Cortana with Skype functionality on Alexa

David 132
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Coffee/keyboard

Re: Excellent News

AC "With the Alexa, Droid and iOS versions cracked - perhaps Microsoft devs will be freed up to produce a functional version of Skype for Windows."

Put down the crack-pipe, that's crazy talk.

But I've upvoted you anyway, because people as delusional as you need to be gently humored :)

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Analogue radio is the tech that just won't die

David 132
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Re: Analogue Radio Must Never Die

AC ”How many movies have you seen where people are communicating with each other by tapping out morse on a heating pipe or adjoining wall? Doesn't work quite the same if the characters are tapping out some sort of binary representation of ASCII values for the letters in their message, does it?”

Even worse if they’re using 2-byte Unicode. Try doing that to tell your cell-neighbour that there’s an escape attempt planned, and you’ll find you’ve finished serving your life sentence before you’ve got to the first “cell bars” emoji!

“Warder, I know I’m due for release, but can’t I stay in just another year or two?”

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Technical foul: Amazon suffers data snafu days before Black Friday, emails world+dog

David 132
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Re: catalogue shopping

Not by post, that's why they tested delivery by drone.

Well you can’t get them to walk there... that’s just pussy-footing around.

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Windows 10 goes into the Light and Cortana MIA as Microsoft buys chatbot bods XOXCO

David 132
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Unhappy

Wow, THREE different color schemes now?

Dark, Light, and normal-aka-murky? Such choice.

Remember when Windows allowed you to set whatever color scheme you wanted for the window borders, text, taskbar and all other elements?

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Microsoft slips ads into Windows 10 Mail client – then U-turns so hard, it warps fabric of reality

David 132
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Boffin

Re: Ad block plus blocks this article

Probably because the word "advert" is in the URL...?

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Oz lad 'fell in love with' baby meerkat, nicked it from zoo, took it out for a romantic Big Mac

David 132
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Re: Perth Zoo

Better count your fingers, toes and legs.

I feel like that wouldn’t be difficult after stealing a crocodile. You could almost certainly represent your total number of remaining limbs/appendages using 1 binary bit.

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David 132
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Re: The real question

msknight - thanks for the Short Circuit reference, though I wonder how many here will get it.

By coincidence, I was in Astoria just the other day, and drove over the Megler bridge (the one Johnny 5 parachuted from). “Stephanie’s” house is for sale at the moment, by the way.

Also there - the school and house used in Kindergarten Cop, and the house from the Goonies, although in the latter case the owner has got so tired of trespassers photographing the house he’s shrouded it in tarpaulins and posted threatening “POLICE WILL BE CALLED” signs.

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Alexa, cough up those always-on Echo audio recordings, says double-murder trial judge

David 132
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Re: Sounds about right

Well acsherly, it's another one of those linguistic oddities like flammable/inflammable. Irregardless and disirregardless both have the exact same meaning

I know, right? Which is why I always use “unregardless”, to avoid ambiguity & confusion. The ‘T’ in it is silent, by the way.

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Russia: We did not hack the US Democrats. But if we did, we're immune from prosecution... lmao

David 132
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Sex with a dwarf?

How could you stoop so low...

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Townsfolk left deeply unsatisfied by Bury St Edmunds' 'twig' of a Christmas tree

David 132
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Re: In full respect to the article wording...

Excellent tree puns. I bough down in admiration.

However, given that this is nominally an IT site, I'm surprised no-one has mentioned SAP yet. Tree sap, geddit?

Oh, please yourselves.

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Bloke jailed for trying to blow up UK crypto-cash biz after it failed to reset his account password

David 132
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Re: Boom...

Bloody brilliant! Brew?

Beautiful. Bartender! Best bitter!

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David 132
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Re: Boom...

Bravo. Bloody brilliant.

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Windows 10 Pro goes Home as Microsoft fires up downgrade server

David 132
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Re: Oh No!

Not an 0x004003 error!? They've been thrown back to 1984. Did no one tell Microsoft about meaningful error messages?

Software Failure. Press left mouse button to continue.

Guru Meditation 0x004003

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Dell upping its margins again: Precision 5530 laptop will sting you for $13m. Yep, six zeroes

David 132
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Re: Bah!

You forgot a couple...

iv) Always add sanity-checking / canary logic to any transaction-processing system.. e.g if ($item_price) > ($maximum_price_you'd_ever_realistically_expect) then flag_for_review();

Session) Also flag for review any abnormal traffic levels to any given page. If a particular laptop is getting 500% of the views of other, similar products, it's either a pricing mistake, or a content cockup of some sort.

Saturday) Can we just settle on a list numbering scheme, please?

Order) Apparently not.

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Slabs, huh, what are they are good for? Er, not quite absolutely nothing

David 132
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Re: *HORRIBLY* misunderstood by WAY too many.

I bought a new laptop nearly two years ago, with win7. My main one before that was XP from ... 2002! (1.8GHz P4 1600 x1200 screen

...and I'll wager the new one has a lower screen resolution/pixel count than the old one. Seriously, WTF is up with all these 1920x1080 panels?

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Woman who hooked up with over 15 spectres has found her forever phantom after whirlwind romance and plane sex

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Re: Dear God,

Moderators, can we get this comment thread expunged or at least censored, please? I’m no prude, but these frequent, blatant and shameless uses of the word B*lg*um are beyond the pale. There might be small children or elderly dowager aunts reading this, for fuck’s sake.

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