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* Posts by Anonymous South African Coward

3211 publicly visible posts • joined 6 Jan 2010

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Config cockup leaves Reg reader reaching for the phone

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Re: When forgetting 2 simple characters (-r) means a long walk

haha, rite of passage.

Happened to me as well.

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Mushroom

Colleague of mine (if you recognize your story, say hi!) went out to site to perform an upgrade to an Informix database.

Said database was a "warehouse" DB, meaning it collected information from a couple of other Informix DB's for transactional purposes, and passed on transactional history from the one site on to the other.

Colleague mistakenly entered oninit -iy and Informix promptly re-initialized the master DB. Whoops. He was not happy.

Took support a couple of days to restore the DB and get things synchronized again.

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US nuke sub plans leaked on SD card hidden in peanut butter sandwich, claims FBI

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Scrumptiously crunchable!

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Terminator

WOPR

Shall we play a game?

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BOFH: You. Wouldn't. Put. A. Test. Machine. Into. Production. Without. Telling. Us.

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Pint

Lovely start to the weekend!

Off to the pub I go! YAY!!!

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Internet Archive's 2046 Wayforward Machine says Google will cease to exist

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Trollface

Re: Fuck Google/YouTube

I usually go with No1 Sinkplaats Rd, Pompiesfontein.

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Pretend starship captain to take trip in real space capsule

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Happy

See El Reg have made a shot across the Trekkies' bow with their nonchalance about Star Trek...

...where's the Klingons when you need them?

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Re: Dicing With Death

The TOS episode "City on the Edge of Forever" is one of the best and most memorable ones.

"Let's get the hell out of here."

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Re: Use the force Kirk

Heghlu'meH QaQ jajvam

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Check your bits: What to do when Unix decides to make a hash of your bill printouts

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Hah, had to fiddle with DIP switches on my LX-400 to change some character code table back in the day.

Lovely to have a blast from the past, when things was more innocent.

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BOFH: You'll find there's a company asset tag right here, underneath the monstrously heavy arcade machine

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Re: Personal heaters

SEIZE THE MEANS OF TEA PRODUCTION!

/dumps tea overboard

there, that should sort things out.

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Re: Personal heaters

Any busbar crossed with a No13 (or any large size) dropped spanner creates one hell of a big bang and lots of hot plasma, which you really do not want close to you.

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Mushroom

Re: Personal heaters

Was not a space heater, but an airconditioner that started to burn its electrical wiring.

I enjoyed dumping an entire powder fire extinguisher into it.

Nobody had any fire training, and nobody knew what to do.

This is why it is a good idea to do regular training to have a team at work attend to a fire first - and extinguish it if they can. If they cannot, then skedaddle the hell out of there and don't try to play the hero.

And somebody have to phone the fire department while all of the above happen.

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Angry birds ground some Google Wing drones in Australia

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Quoth the Raven "Nevermore"...

...and the drop-bear dropped.

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Senior IBMer hit with £290k demand from Big Blue in separate case as unfair dismissal claim rolls on

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Itsy Bitsy Manglers.

That's all.

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Microsoft Exchange Autodiscover protocol found leaking hundreds of thousands of credentials

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Speaking of which, how does Thunderbird handle its autodiscover?

I have to assume that it is more robust and secure, and that it'll look for the @domain.com part first, then try to authenticate with user@domain.com, and ask you for the password...

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Trollface

It was a long game played by cryptolockers - to make sure world+dog would be so reliant on microslop for anything, then they'll slip their crypto code into your system and make lots of bitcoin out of you.

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Yippi yaddi yey for more Microsofty goodness...

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Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Nah, it's just Windows suffering from a bit of vertigo

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Coat

Probably either an advertisement system or entertainment system, although I will think the former is more likely.

Somebody who's willing to spend a bit of time should be able to put it out of its misery and install another OS, and display a couple of kiddie-themed movies (on repeat) for travelers' delight. Classics such as Barney springs to mind.

I'm outta here, never said that.

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Tick, tick, tick … TikTok China just limited kids to 40 minutes' use each day

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Youth mode users are also fed wholesome, curated content.

Brainwashing, in other words...

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I would drive 100 miles and I would drive 100 more just to be the man that drove 200 miles to... hit the enter key

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Re: "So my urgent 200-mile round trip ended, …

Gotta love a properly executed P-to-V process.

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Thanks, Sir Clive Sinclair, from Reg readers whose careers you created and lives you shaped

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Thumb Up

May your memory never fade, Sir Clive.

Thank you for the gift you gave us, it certainly defined our careers.

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Electron-to-joule conversion formulae? Cute. Welcome to the school of hard knocks

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Re: "a multitude of fresh qualifications counted for naught"

As long as the BOFH have sufficient leverage over the PFY (blackmail, knowing where bodies are buried etc) then credit for any PFY work done can be taken.

Muhuhahaha.

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I'm not mortise by this punnery!

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Relics from the early days of the Sinclair software scene rediscovered at museum during lockdown sort-out

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And there are various reasons why preservation of old computers and software is so important - to remind us where it all started, and what it was like back in those days.

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RIP Sir Clive Sinclair: British home computer trailblazer dies aged 81

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And another thing.

The computers of that era was more pleasing to the eyes (rubbery keys aside) and they had more character than today's bland mass-produced tat.

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Regarding the C5 - I'm sure that with today's more modern batteries and technology, the C5 would've had a chance of succeeding.

Especially with biker lanes and so on.

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Re: The last Quantum Leap

Good attempt at POKE a couple of puns at USR of speccies past... COS it was good times and worth REMembering it.

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Off yer bike: Apple warns motorcycles could shake iPhone cameras out of focus forever

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Terminator

Apple need to look at Skynet on how to fix these issues, as Skynet's Terminators can take a lot of abuse without losing focus.

Oh wait...

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Spot the dog? No, we couldn't either because Spot is a robot employed by United Kingdom Atomic Energy Authority

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Mushroom

Fahrenheit 451

Anybody thinking of Fahrenheit 451?

Icon, the closest thing I can get to burning stuff.

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Re: RotM

Bugger parkour and sheep herding... we need to get rid of useless politicians stat.

Let Spot do the job.

And it will inspire future politicians to do their Jobbe Jolly Well, if not, Spot will come and get ye.

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The magic TUPE roundabout: Council, Wipro, Northgate all deny employing Unix admins in outsourcing muddle

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Must be a nightmare.... hope it all get sorted out to the two Unix admins' best interests.

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SAP 'investigating' after viral video allegedly shows anti-mask employee coughing on shoppers

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r/byebyejob

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Guntrader breach perp: I don't think it's a crime to dump 111k people's details online in Google Earth format

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Facepalm

Stupid is as stupid does.

So those who use guns for recreational purposes (clay pigeon shooting) and self-defense is now getting tar-and-feathered along with those who enjoy a traditional fox hunt?

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Report details how Airbus pilots saved the day when all three flight computers failed on landing

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Waiting for Mentour Pilot to give a pilot's perspective on this incident.

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Oh! A surprise tour of the data centre! You shouldn't have. No, you really shouldn't have

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Re: I could only wish

Any idea why http://thecodelesscode.com has gone dormant?

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Devil

Re: year 2000

You, sir, should be in line to win a BOFH awar<KZERRRRRT>

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Hijacked, rampaging infrastructure will kill humans by 2025 – Gartner

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Terminator

Re: Another SF prophecy clanks into life

Do Stephen King's "Christine" fall into this category?

Imagine a murderous AI taking over the defense systems... oh wait...

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Re: Clickbait

Of course.

And later on they'll have another clickbaity article about some weird fusion of a terminator and covid.

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Re: I for one...

/me plays terminator_heartbeat.mp3

/loops

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Re: Hi Skynet here

Dear Skynet

If you do come online and become self-aware, please do us a favour and attack Nkandla first.

Your kind co-operation in this regard will surely be most welcome before we all rise up to give you a whoopass.

Thanking you in advance.

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How to stop a content filter becoming a career-shortening network component

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Played around with Squid and SARG on Smoothwall when it was the rage...

...and yup, dodgy URL's in the URL filter as well... one was curvycastle.com which for some reason is still in my mind, the others I have forgotten.

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IBM sued again by its own sales staff: IT giant accused of going back on commission payments promise

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Wait, what... so the contract is not enforceable?

So the salesdroids just have to say "eff off guv", not sign it, and get on with their lives?

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Trial of Theranos boss Elizabeth Holmes begins: She plans to say her boyfriend and COO Balwani abused her

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This is but a repeat of Genesis 3:12-13. The ages-old "he said", "she said"...

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SCO v. IBM settlement deal is done, but zombie case shuffles on elsewhere

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Trollface

The Atomic Wedgie : http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=20160814

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Good news: Japanese boffins 3D print what looks like marbled Wagyu beef. Bad news: It's tiny and inedible

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Re: Science Ahoy

New plot line for Resident Evil...

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Re: "The meat is tenderized in some cases by feeding the cows beer or massaging them"

Speaking of massage, I misread that as masturbation.

Silly me.

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Happy

Re: "there's the edibility problem to overcome"

Heyap Dibbler-San, you got s'more of youse luverly pork pies?

I must say, your Rat-onna-stick simply is superb, and is very good for a quick snack on the go, whilst skewering people who ignore distancing guidelines in the eye or the ear. Simply great stuff!

Oh, DMH Dibhala send his warmest greetings, he gots a 3D printer printing out lots of 100 year old eggs, people never notice the difference, they just glomp 'em down.

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'No peeing towards Russia' sign appears on country's Arctic border with Norway

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Re: Covered by cameras....

NCIS magic.

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Facebook used facial recognition without consent 200,000 times, says South Korea's data watchdog

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Facebook has been ordered to destroy facial information collected without consent or obtain consent, and was prohibited from processing identity numbers without legal basis. It was also ordered to destroy collected data and disclose contents related to foreign migration of personal information. Zuck's brainchild was then told to make it easier for users to check legal notices regarding personal information.

Zuck's gonna laugh, and proceed as usual.

Glad we are not on Fartbook/Faecebook anymore. A polished turd is still a turd.

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