* Posts by Anonymous South African Coward

3211 publicly visible posts • joined 6 Jan 2010

Amazon, LG Electronics turned my vape into an exploding bomb, says burned bloke in lawsuit

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Re: Health Hazard?

@bombastic bob : wear a T-shirt that says :

"If you don't smoke, I won't fart".

Brit bank TSB TITSUP* after long-planned transfer of customer records from Lloyds

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge
Devil

All your banks are belong to us

Sysadmin unplugged wrong server, ran away, hoped nobody noticed

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Re: Are you sure they were servers?

Quite interesting, and what a way to find out about that "feature"...

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

You even made sure you did not have to visit the bathroom while in the building, because of the health monitoring system meant more than the usual paperwork when going for a number two. It was bagged and sent for analyses...

Now what if you had the runs from a lager doctored by your friendly BOFH?

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Most of our stuff in our server room have redundant power supplies, so power cables for one PSU go to the left, second PSU go to the right.

And ziptied cables are an abomination, rather use velcro ties instead.

McDonald's tells Atos to burger off: Da da da da da, we're lobbing IT ...

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Think we'll have an UK KFC redux? With lots of people screaming for their burgers and nothing IT working at all...

Twenty years ago today: Windows 98 crashed live on stage with Bill Gates. Let's watch it again...

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Re: Bill Gates

I wonder what Ballmer would've done.

Probably chucked a couple of chairs hither and thither?

Facebook privacy audit by auditors finds everything is awesome!

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Yeah right, and I'm the President of Trumpmenistan.

Laughed my a$$ off when I saw thhis article. Now I gotta find my a$$, it's out there somewhere.

Two's company, Three's unbowed: You Brits will pay more for MMS snaps

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Shareholders are a liability, and not an asset.

Get rid of the shareholders leeching off your customers, and look after your customers, then you'll see profits go up.

Tech bribes: What's the WORST one you've ever been offered?

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Re: Fleet

Now that's really nasty.

A good BOFH would've jigged all the PC's with strategically-placed tinfoil...

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

They'll do something unmentionable to your iToes.

Just make sure your medical insurance is all up to date just in case.

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Got mimecast-branded socks at the one mimecast stall with last year's MyBroadband 2017 conference.

They're still somewhere.

And no, haven't been bribed yet.

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge
Pint

https://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/1/2018/04/20/bribes_tech_survey/

Simply. The. Best.

Have one.

BOFH: We know where the bodies are buried

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Excellent reference there...

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Beautifully executed.

*wipes tear*

*applause*

Motorola Z2 Force: This one's for the butterfingered Android lovers

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

And hast thou purchased a screen protector yet? Oh look, a scratch!

:)

Anyways, this may become mainstream, other manufacturers will try to copy this idea.

But I must say, it is a jolly good idea. Deliver a simple phone, with a ton of addons, so you can add a better camera on, or a torch, or an LTE-A module, or whatever you want without hassle or fuss.

Looks like Motorola got a good thing going there.

I can imagine what it will be like with a screen enlargement mod and a QWERTY mod... instant mini laptop...

Speaking of which, I dimly remember seeing some sort of 14" to 17" magnifying doohicky which you can slip over your 14" monitor to make it a 17", anybody remember this?

Pyro-brainiacs set new record with waste-heat-into-electricity study

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge
Trollface

What's a tounge?

Facebook faces foe formation in facial fingering fight

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Now what if they start to match your face to products?

I mean you may be "seen" at a shop selling off $stock, and FB then start to target you with adverts for $stock...

Something like that.

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Re: Flakbook

Putin puttin' in a bid?

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

"Faecebook", arsebook, faceboob, boobface....

How many more names are there for it?

Facebook's login-to-other-sites service lets scum slurp your stuff

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

By implication this also extend to Google and others... or am I wrong?

Guess who's still most moaned about UK ISP... Rhymes with BorkBork

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Re: Huh?

As in "Hoi sveethot, ve gun tok. Ist gut."*

*Thanks to the Jägerkin in Girl Genius

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge
Trollface

"We always strive to provide the best possible experience and are disappointed by these results,"

Newspeak for "we will actually make the customer experience worse than it is now"...

Elon Musk's latest Tesla Model 3 delivery promise: 6,000... a week

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Having an electric car is fine and dandy al that, but they don't tell you about the costs of replacing the batteries.

If one gives you cheese, you have to replace all of them, and usually end up with a more expensive car than a fossil-fuel based one....

Gang way! Compsci geeks coming through! AI engine can finger fakes on social networks

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Joke

Have they used it on El Reg's commentards yet?

Cambridge Analytica's ex-CEO decides not to front UK Parliamentary Committee again

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Interestingly as somebody from CA was chortling with glee on how much data they had managed to snaffle a couple of weeks ago (before this exploded wide open) - now the fat lady is singing, and they don't like that....

Europe wants cloud giants to cough up data from anywhere in 6hrs

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

All aboard the train to 1984...

It's US Tax Day, so of course the IRS's servers have taken a swan dive

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge
Trollface

Probably running their main DB on a WIn95 system with Axxess...

Pentagon sticks to its guns: Yep, we're going with a single cloud services provider

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

However it turns out, and whichever way it runs, it will be extremely interesting to watch.

+ but +

does it mean that the Pentagon will trim the Army's IT workforce? I mean, they're outsourcing their storage, so the IT bods dedicated to storage will have to get a pink slip?

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge
Trollface

Re: Optional

Missing trollface? :)

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge
Thumb Up

Re: JEDI Cloud

I can't upvote this BOFH reference enough... :)

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Ooops, I am so sorry.

TITSUP*

*Total Inability To Serve Usual Philez

(or use your own as deemed fit)

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Re: Ludicrous

Following up on your comment - what is the possibility that Faceboob et al can hoover up such sensitive military data via your purdy home compoota?

I agree with you, there's data that can be stored in the cloud, then there's data that need more security.

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Re: JEDI Cloud?!?

"This is not the data you are looking for"...

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Re: Seriously??

Is an Offeror something like a Dementor?

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Oh, what is the clause for data leakage? Any punitive measures that can be taken against cloudy service provider?

Should be interested to know that.

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

It is great and well until that singular cloudy provider goes TITSUP* for whatever reason

I would have spread it fairly across more than one cloudy provider.

Suppose we'll all have a nice chortle should a lot of sensitive military data gets leaked...

Windows 10 Spring Creators Update team explains the hold-up: You little BSOD!

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Busy with factory reinstall of a Win10 Lenovo laptop - it got bogged down for some reason. Slow to start, slow to get the desktop ready for user interaction.

And I did not load the usual bevy of malware/crapware/bloated apps, it have Firefox, office 2013, and one or two other apps... but it just got slow.

Maybe it is the hard drive moseying on over for a nice pension somewhere. I have replaced it with an SSD anyway.

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Re: Bring my optical disk drive back!!

SET RESTARTOBJECTS=STARTUPFOLDERSONLY brings back the memories of a fun and bygone era...

Upvoted just because of the OS/2 reference.

I've got an OS/2 VM on Virtualbox, it feels good to trot it out occasionally to be reminded of the good old days.

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge
Trollface

Was it the derp or the durr that got downvoted?

Or both?

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Derp durrrrr

Hop to it, bunnies: TaskRabbit breach means new passwords

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

rabbit.hole=deeper

Google, AWS IPs blocked by Russia in Telegram crackdown

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Most probably why the suspected scammer I'm talking to on hangouts are not responding at all.

Bah and humbug. Just when I was havening a bit of fun...

Pah.

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

пусть они страдают

'I crashed AOL for 19 hours and messed up global email for a week'

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Back in that time, email in South Africa was only available to a select few - and we had to dial up to CompuServe (ick) or our local BBS in order to retrieve our email.

Fun times.

Then it started to gather momentum, and more people got their@email.com addresses - mine was ****@mweb.co.za for a long while, but when they got too uppity with their pricing, I went over to google.com

And today I'm contemplating the move away from google.com to something else where my emails won't be perused by bots in order to serve advertisements targeted at myself.

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Re: In hindsight

hehehehe :)

Facebook admits it does track non-users, for their own good

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Alternative?

Gopher

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

BAAAAAAAAAAH

Maybe it's time to wake the sheeple?

xkcd

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Anybopdy got a good cussing out for Facebook in Welsh or Gaelic? Or Scottish?

Windows Admin Center: Vulture gets claws on browser-based server admin

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

And how long before serious vulnerabilities are waxing lyrically?