* Posts by Anonymous South African Coward

3212 publicly visible posts • joined 6 Jan 2010

Dudes. Blockchain. In a phone. It's gonna smash the 'commoditization of humanity' or something

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Blockchain = Bollockschain :)

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Obligatory Dilbert

What can $10 stretch to these days? Lunch... or access to international airport security systems

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Re: I was "hacked" via RDP

I had a discussion once about the concept of doubling the time between login attempts:

start with a 1 second re-try and double the time for every wrong login attempt. Has anybody ever implemented this?

That's what a good BOFH would do

WITH THE ADDITION of a "bandwidth throttle" the more failed attempts, the more that specific IP or connection will be throttled.

Hopefully the attacker will give up in despair after increasing timeouts and a connection that get progressively slower.

Come to think of it, if it was possible to do a GPO where your timeout increases the more incorrect passwords you type, I will implement it most definitely.

Geoboffins spot hundreds of ghost dunes on Mars

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"I am the Kwisawtz Haderach. That is reason enough"...

AAAAAAAAAA! You'll scream when you see how easy it is to pwn unpatched HPE servers

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Re: MS did it with NT too

Hehehe

Used Teardrop against a Win95 PC - and the hard drive crashed when I teardropped it.

Lovely :D

Techie using the PC was very upset, but he did not know who b0rked his PC.

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Will "ohsh**ohsh**wegonnadiewegonnadie" also work?

Tired sysadmin plugged cable into wrong port, unleashed a 'virus'

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Trollface

"Documentation walked..." and what then?

Maybe you got interrupted by a packet storm?

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Re: Confessed? Really?

Intermittent problems are the shiz, yo! Gotta love these as they make you swear for hours on end.

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Remote site phoned early one morning, network was down. Toddled all the way over (1hr drive)

Had to play the usual game of "Hunt-the-Terminator" but found none. Went round the site a second, then a third time.

Found two terminators hidden neatly into a recessed conduit in the floor, and an extra T-piece. Disconnected the coax cable from t-piece, plugged in the one terminator, added the "spare" T-piece and second terminator to the other cable and voila.

I'm just glad coax networks have gone the way of the dodo.

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Had a rogue D-Stink device on my network doshing out DHCP packets.

The problem got resolved when the wrong firmware got uploaded to it by accident.

Snooping passwords from literally hot keys, China's AK-47 laser, malware, and more

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Trollface

Botswana's practically next door to us.

Mebbe I should start my own scamming biz up....

And scam the ne'er-do-wells should they land here....

And in current affairs: Rogue raccoon blacks out city power grid after shocking misstep

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Can a 'coon (dead or fried) have Linux installed on it?

http://strangehorizons.com/non-fiction/articles/installing-linux-on-a-dead-badger-users-notes/

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Re: Are you SURE it's dead?

Upvoted for that reference!

I have no prosthetic limbs yet.

AI bots suck at marking written essays, not too shabby at old Atari games, and more...

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"History by mimic has not, and presumably never will be precipitously but blithely ensconced. Society will always encompass imaginativeness; many of scrutinizations but a few for an amanuensis. The perjured imaginativeness lies in the area of theory of knowledge but also the field of literature. Instead of enthralling the analysis, grounds constitutes both a disparaging quip and a diligent explanation."

Whut?? 0 out of 100 for you, then.

Japanese cryptominer slapped with suspended sentence

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Maybe I can *cough* "distribute" a miner on my company's laptops/servers etc... *cough* and blame it on an unknown ne'er-do-well when the dastardly miners are uncovered...

Mmmm. Must be the BOFH inside me.

Sysadmin cracked military PC’s security by reading the manual

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Anybody who managed to haxx0r a Dell Sonicwall yet?

Supposedly to be very secure.

Security guard cost bank millions by hitting emergency Off button

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Re: Big Red Buttons are irresistible!

Obligatory request for a Sir Pterry icon.

Else we'll send Detritus, Granny Weatherwax and Foul Ole Ron over to have a nice talk with youse about that icon we've requested.

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

That's an easy one to fix. Unauthorised equipment ends up in the bin.

Had a rogue DHCP server on my LAN once.

Investigated.

Found it was some sort of D-Stink P-O-S which somebody's using as a switch.

It got the wrong firmware uploaded somehow, and ceased to function.

ZX Spectrum reboot firm boss delays director vote date again

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Trollface

Do you think Monty Python will do a dead horse skit?

Dear Samsung mobe owners: It may leak your private pics to randoms

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Sagsmug.

So glad I decided not to use their products anymore.

The Notch contagion is spreading slower than phone experts thought

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Re: End game

Terminator and Skynet?

RIP Peter Firmin: Clangers creator dies aged 89

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Postman Pat and his black and white c*t...

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I dimly remembered that Clangers was also aired on our local SABC back yonkers ago when I was a wee tyke...

Google weeps as its home state of California passes its own GDPR

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We are Borg.

Resistance is Fut>KZERRRRT<

Automated payment machines do NOT work the same all over the world – as I found out

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Here in SA you will need to wait for an attendant to come and fill your car for you.

They have some sort of electronic key fob on the pump which need to be triggered by its counterpart which the attendant have on his person. (Think it is meant to stop theft of fuel).

So you rock up, attendant activates the pump, and fills you up, then you pay (or drive off if you want to feel lucky). To counter that sort of thing, all fuel stations have cameras all over the place.

And currently we're paying over R15 for a litre of engine juice. :(

Drug cops stopped techie's upgrade to question him for hours. About everything

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Re: Entering New Zealand

ISO-whatever's just for show. You never know what things are really happening behind the scenes.

The butterfly defect: MacBook keys wrecked by single grain of sand

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Thumb Up

El Reg.

Not shy.

Will say it out loud should a product be shoddy.

Good.

IBM memo to staff: Our CEO Ginni is visiting so please 'act normally!'

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Re: Leave a little present.

The comment about cabbage - reminds me of the time when we scored a lot of free cabbage leaves from our local shop.

Fed it to our chickens who loved it - but the pong when they decided to do their No2 business was another matter entirely.

Never did it again.

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Re: Leave a little present.

Bonus points for evacuating the entire building by the power of your air biscuits. :)

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

"Should you need private meeting spaces, utilize the 4th floor. DO NOT TOUCH any items or objects you might see around the space, including signage, TVs, chairs, and tables."

Now I'm really curious as to WHY.

Firefox hooks up with HaveIBeenPwned for account pwnage probe

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Trollface

WebExtensions can now hide tabs as well as manage the behavior of the browser when a tab is opened or closed, so you can expect to see exciting new ...

...rickrolling features to pop up all over the place".

It's getting more and more Azure'd: For Microsoft, sorry seems to be the hardest word

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Microsoft slipping its tentacles into every pie all over the world.

Software changed the world, then died on the first of the month

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Little Bobby Tables.

At last! Apple admits its MacBook Pro butterfly keyboards utterly suck, offers free replacements

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Crrrrrrrrr<tap>rrrrrrrrr<tap><tap><tappity><TAP>Apple keyboarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr<tap><tappity><TAP>ds arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr<tap><tap><tappity><TAP><TAP><TAP>e such a paiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii<TAP><TAP><TAP>n to use

Cops: Autonomous Uber driver may have been streaming The Voice before death crash

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

And that's why, once you're in a car and driving, your mobile/cellphone/phablet should be stowed away and be left alone for the duration of the trip.

BOFH: Is everybody ready for the meeting? Grab a crayon – let's get technical

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cliffhanger of note

Please tighten your passwords and assume the brace position, says plane-tracking site

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Zoom out and see a lot of planes in the air.

Especially over Trumpmenistan and over the EU.

Scary.

By gum, that's chewy: Samsung's NF1 fattens M.2 card capacity with wider gumstick format

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What you gonna do with 1.132PB of storage? Fill it up with torrents and pr0nz?

Mind = boggling

Atari accuses El Reg of professional trolling and making stuff up. Welp, here's the interview tape for you to decide...

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Pwned.

Microsoft Azure Europe embraced the other GDPR: Generally Down, Possibly Recovering

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

The Cloud = another man's computer. Somebody else's responsible for the hardware and other things such as cooling, electrical supply etc etc.

The Cloud = as soon as somebody else's experiencing DC issues, you can do nothing.

Your own server = you are fully in control of things and you are responsible for everything.

So therefore people who go over to cloud-based solutions want to offset part of the responsibility of their businesses to somebody else, whilst paying peanuts for that, and expecting no problems.

Surprise. Whether you're in the cloud or hosting it yourself, you will still get issues, no matter what you do.

Google cloud VMs given same IP addresses ... and down they went

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Re: Five nines of uptime

Once a month: An engineer makes a mistake and everything's dead on a Friday afternoon.

A law need to be passed that anything critical must not be done on a friday afternoon, only on a moanday morning (or, even better, tuesday morning).

This will allow world+dog techies to collect their beer at pub o' clock and not having to waste their friday afternoons wrestling with issues some daft ******* caused in the first place.

Audi chief exec arrested over Dieselgate car emissions scandal

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Damned if you do, and damned if you don't.

Gives new meaning to be between a rock and a hard place...

Developer’s code worked, but not in the right century

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Wot? No hill named "medium cockup"? :)

Shatner's solar-powered Bitcoin gambit wouldn't power a deflector shield

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Coat

Or is it a Corbomite manoeuver in disguise?

Because of Corbomite, it'll sell like hot cakes on the market.

BOFH: Got that syncing feeling, hm? I've looked at your computer and the Outlook isn't great

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It's Friday. On-Call and BOFH perused.

Luch consumed.

Now what? Pub o' clock? Too early for that... methinks it is time to have a quick shufty at the NTP controller for our domain and set it forward with a few hours... >clickety<>click<

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Pint

Here's to us!

User spent 20 minutes trying to move mouse cursor, without success

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Trollface

Re: Mouse balls.

In the old days, if I was feeling particularly mean to someone I might substitute their mouse ball for one from another mouse that was slightly smaller.\

Ever tried a grape? The funny shape of the grape will make the mouse go all funny.

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

My first mouse was the boxy Genius mouse. Worked well until it had a case of ball fuzz. Opened it, cleaned it, and continued.

Dunno where it is now.

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Optical mice FTW

until somebody put some prestik over the sensor window ... :D

Meet the Frenchman masterminding a Google-free Android

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Good luck, he will most certainly need it.

And I would like to have such a phone, free of all things Google.