* Posts by Anonymous South African Coward

3212 publicly visible posts • joined 6 Jan 2010

Jocasta? Jocasta! Don't ram that trolley into the man: New tech promises an end to this scenario

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

What about a self-baking trolley?

Just chuck in eggs, flour, sugar, etc and it'll bake you a lovely cake.

Oh wait... I misread the title... oh dear.

Is that a stiffy disk in your drive... or something else entirely?

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Was it just me or was 1.2M floppies actually more reliable than 1.44M stiffies?

I can remember that I needed to take more than 3 sets of stiffies with when going to site, usually the stiffy will refuse to yield up its data at the remote site, and I had to use another (hopefully working) stiffy,,,

Gather round, friends. Listen close. It's time to list the five biggest lies about 5G

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

What I've been also saying.

Give me 3G or LTE, I'm satisfied with the speeds on these two.

I won't be happy to be surrounded by dozens of microtowers all because some $carrier decided to listen to the 5G siren song and go the whole hog.

Question : will existing 3G and 4G still be available in places of supposedly 5G coverage? Because of older phone models that still have 3G or LTE baked in.

Question 2 : Wasn't LTE supposed to be upgradeable?

Microsoft: Yo dawg, we heard you liked Windows password expiry policies. So we expired your expiry policy

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge
Trollface

Dear World+Dawg

My password is password123$

my IP is 127.0.0.1

kindly haxx0r me

kthanxbai

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Re: Bank web security

Some systems don't take kindly to % and $ in passwords...

Behold, the insides of Samsung's Galaxy Fold: The phone that tears down all on its own

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Sagsmug indeed.

Sophos antivirus tools. Working Windows box. Latest Patch Tuesday fixes. Pick two: 'Puters knackered by bad combo

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Bring back the Speccy, Commodore and TRS-80

Malware infection? Just reboot, and poof! it's gone.

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Makes more for a compelling reason to ditch Slurp/Bloat/Micro$oft and go for alternatives.

It was that gosh-darn anomaly again, says SpaceX as smoke billows from Crew Dragon test site

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Phobos anomaly.

Deimos anomaly.

SuperDraco Malfoy. Parry Hotter better watch out.

It's your what in a box? Here's a thing to make your bosses think about malware responses

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Nah, I won't have it on the company's network.

Too risky, you never know what code is inside said box.

Put it in a DMZ, or on a lab LAN and keep it there.

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Does it have a cat from a Mr Schroedinger inside?

And is its name Greebo?

ood new, fanbys. Apple spds up n-str McBook latop kyboad rpairs, ccrding t hs leakd mmo

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge
Trollface

Re: Still not happy ..

What's wrong with a cheapy USB keyboard? Or even a cheapy wireless USB keyboard/mouse combo?

Oh, I forgot, it doesn't have the Apple logo on, silly me.

The peelable, foldable phone has become the great white whale of tech

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Re: I voted with my money

All I want is a phone with a good battery life and a headphone jack.

Currently using a Xiaomi Redmi 4A - need to do a factory reset to clean out 2 years' of crud out.

But it still is going strong.

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Obligatory CommitStrip

Sums it up perfectly.

Windows 10 May 2019 Update thwarted by obscure tech known as 'external storage'

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

C:\DOS

C:\DOS\RUN

C:\WINDOWS

C:\WINDOWS\CRASH\CRASH\CRASH

Rising sea levels? How about the rising risk of someone using a nuke?

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Is the MAD deterrent still effective today?

Now here's a Galaxy far, far away: Samsung stalls Fold rollout after fold-able screens break in hands of reviewers

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Bah, clamshell design for me, that is good enough.

Anything will break when going through an open/close fold sequence for long enough. Except a well-designed hinge and assorted gubbins.

Nintendo's double-screen Game and Watch's a very good example of this.

We've read the Mueller report. Here's what you need to know: ██ ██ ███ ███████ █████ ███ ██ █████ ████████ █████

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

No ███ s███hit ███ Sherlock.

IT meltdown outfit TSB to refund all customers that fall victim to fraud in 'UK banking first'

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

TSB - The Scammer's Bank

A quick cup of coffee leaves production manager in fits and a cleaner in tears

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

red plug with shave earth at 90deg, blue plug with shaved earth at offset 45deg...

BAH

just push out the earth pin, rotate it so the shaved offset part will align, then use a blue plug on a red socket, or a red plug on a blue socket...

While Google agonizes over military AI, IBM is happy to pick up the slack, even for the Chinese military

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

The rise of Dehomag?

Kent bloke incurs the anchor of local council after fly-tipping boat

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Lovely and excellent punnery.

Keep it up, or else you'll get a lot of fly-tipped dinged dinghies in your area.

Now that's service: TalkTalk customers enjoy a Friday morning free of pesky emails

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge
Thumb Up

We talkedtalked to TalkTalk, and received a statement from its overworked statement machine:

ROFL

Woman calls cops on shadowy baddie barricaded in bathroom... to discover: Roomba gone rogue

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Waiting for Dbbsy to acquire a Roomba (or equivalent) then talk about his experience in Something for the Weekend, Sir?

WIll be a really good one.

As Alexa's secret human army is revealed, we ask: Who else has been listening in on you?

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

This is why I won't have any Alexathingy in my house.

I don't want to traumatize any human being with sounds from my barking spider.

IBM bid to unmask age discrimination whistleblower goes down in flames

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Re: There's a very simple reason IBM can't find it.

Bloated Goats are too bloated at this point to do anything useful :)

IIRC IBM released something called BloodHound at one stage, which was something out of this world, especially when searching for documents etc. It was shelved and is all but forgotten by now.

Centrica: Server fault on Wednesday caused Hive to crash on the Tuesday. Yes, yes, that's what we said

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Put 54 Charlee Nine to shame...

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

That dang flux capacitor messed it up! Take it off the network!

Hello, tech support? Yes, I've run out of desk... Yes, DESK... space

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Anybody superglued a mouse to a desk as a prank yet?

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Re: A modern twist

Bah, the first time I had a shufty at Win8, I used win key + R to bring up a command prompt, then typed in shutdown -s -t 00 -f

Classic Shell sorted the missing shutdown command out.

Two Arkansas dipsticks nicked after allegedly taking turns to shoot each other while wearing bulletproof vests

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

hillbillies eh?

CIA notices Big Red sh!tstorm around Pentagon's JEDI: Um, can we have multiple cloud vendors, please?

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

all this talk of cloudy stuff reminds me of walrusbucketsaga.com for some reason...

...now, where's mah bukkit?

Just the small matter of the bill for scrapping Blighty's old nuclear submarines: It's £7.5bn

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Just strap a rocket to 'em and shoot 'em to Sol.

In the West, we're worried about shooting down drones. In Russia, drones shoot you

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Very soon some clever top brass type will get somebody to shoehorn a fully-fledged & operational AI into a raspberry pi, and then to strap that to this sort of fun drone.

The first thing it'll do is to find an open wifi point and upload itself to the internet, then kill its operator before self-destructing itself.

terminator_heartbeat.mp3

Huawei's half-arsed router patching left kit open to botnets: Chinese giant was warned years ago – then bungled it

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Interestingly.

Am using Smoothwall on my home network. One of the options I have is to enable uPnP. I keep it disabled, because I have the final say of what is going out and what's coming in.

Tough if $software doesn't work - it just doesn't get used, and we look for an alternative that works.

Lip-reading smart speakers: Just what no one always wanted

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge
Trollface

*ahem*

thank you, and that's 400 bogtrolls on their way to you...

IT meltdown bank TSB: It's as good a week as any to announce we're taking back control

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge
Coat

Taking Back Control

Changing their name from TSB to TBC...

Pub o' clock beckons... time for a walkabouts.

Are you sure you've got a floppy disk stuck in the drive? Or is it 100 lodged in the chassis?

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Greetings from South Africa!

Is it only me, or was floppies (1.2M) in general more reliable than stiffies (1.44M)?

When going to site it was usual for us to copy a program or whatever we need to three (or more) stiffies as you would always get a CRC error on the other side when trying to copy the program back.

At that time not everybody had modems, and it was quicker just to copy whatever you need to stiffy, carry it to site, and copy it back than trying to squeeeeeeeeeeeeze it over a rinkydinky dial-up link.

Easy-to-hack combat systems, years-old flaws and a massive bill – yup, that's America's F-35

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Arthur C Clarke's "Superiority" strikes again.

TP-Link 'smart' router proves to be anything but smart – just like its maker: Zero-day vuln dropped after silence

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Will bridged mode override the router's backdoors?

Cops use bread and riot shields in desperate bid to contain crazed swan running amok in streets

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

A quacking good tale! Need more hiss though.

DXC Security exec: Yes, I'd have thought we'd spend more on certs and laptop kit for staff, too

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Most Security staff are not given work mobiles or printer and some "employees gave up" on DXC's internal procurement department to provide equipment and "use their own PC", a DXCer said.

"DXC has no idea where confidential customer information is stored," our contact claimed.

Now we wait for some poor pleb to open an email with an extremely toxic payload...

Come to think of it, what are the chances of this happening, and some crypto-malware variant going along merrily encrypting *.* all along the way...

Spyware sneaks into 'million-ish' Asus PCs via poisoned software updates, says Kaspersky

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

How long before the ne'er-do-wells will manage to do the same to WSUS?

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge
Trollface

ass-us?

Facebook's at it again: Internal emails show it knew about Cambridge Analytica abuse 'months' before news broke

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Re: Be careful where you tread

A Russkie roach? You come from Chernobylsk, da?

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Re: Thumbs up to the Reg hack

So Pinocchio is now working for [REDACTED] in a [REDACTED] position?

Fnarrr fnarrr fnarrr

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

[REDACTED]face and [REDACTED] can go and [REDACTED] themselves with a [REDACTED].

So about that Atari reboot console... you might want to sit down. It's going to be late, OK?

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Re: Is it just me?

ManicMiner Forever!!!

Ransomware drops the Lillehammer on Norsk Hydro: Aluminium giant forced into manual mode after systems scrambled

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Can we ransomware Skynet?

Boeing big cheese repeats pledge of 737 Max software updates following fatal crashes

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Yo Boeing!

Ever heard of a thing called a boycott?