* Posts by Anonymous South African Coward

3211 publicly visible posts • joined 6 Jan 2010

Programming error created billion-dollar mistake that made the coder ... a hero?

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Always a good idea to have a "brake" clause in a contract when doing upgrades, and force things to slow down, or pause for a couple of hours or days.

Because people will make mistakes when under pressure.

But beancounters don't like this as it'll make projects run over budget.

But mistakes make projects run far more over budget plus the extra costs involved should any specialized knowledge be required to fix things should it be required.

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Re: Explosive demonstration

In my younger days my employer used a big-ass centrifuge to dry out acetyl salicylic acid in mass.

It had a diameter of 4m, all stainless steel, and was quite heavy.

I would not like to be near that thing should its governor decide to pack up and allow it to overspeed out of control....

US Air Force reveals B-21 Raider stealth bomber that'll fly the unfriendly skies

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Facepalm

and strike targets with or without pilots in its two seats.

So what will happen should some ne-er-do-well of a country manage to hijack one such plane (fully loaded) and drop a love bomb or two off over pre-selected targets in order to spark an uprising against the USA?

Think something like Tomorrow Never Dies (007)...

Or something like that. Or just hijack the plane for its technology alone, make it disappear, then copy the technology at leisure?

This is why "Superiority" by Arthur C Clarke must be a recommended read for all military thinkers and strategists.

Man wins court case against employer that fired him for not liking boozy, forced 'fun' culture

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Re: Their "fun"..

At they end of the day they just move some chairs around...

Not Ballmer. He throws them.

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Re: I pity the fool.....

Upvoted for the Mr T reference!

Boss broke servers with a careless bit of keyboarding, leaving techies to sort it out late on a Sunday

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

"manglement" and "manglers".

'nuff said.

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Re: Bosses shouldn't touch stuff...

Me. I did it.

Had great fun recovering.

Bad or missing Command Interpreter in the DOS 3.30 days...

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Re: Bosses shouldn't touch stuff...

Who downvoted this?

A bitter PFY?

India seeks global standards to stop AI harming humanity

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Coat

Snap.

Asimov's 3 laws of robotics?

Time to collect my stuff and skedaddle off this planet.

China declares victory over teenage video game addiction

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge
Big Brother

Strong smell of 1984 here.

Big Bruv luuuurves y'all. Just keep on praising Big Bro, keep your head down, do your work like a good little sheeple, and do not make waves.

Otherwise the Stasi might come after you, deport you back, and convince you that Big Bro really do love you.

Jaguar Land Rover courts coders caught in big tech layoffs

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Re: Indian developers need replacing

Maybe that's a long-term strategy - make JLR utter rubbish so that nobody would buy them anymore, then offer Tata vehicles...

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Same here!

I have got one of those old-fashioned book maps in my SHTF kit. It may be a bit outdated, but it will give me an indication of which road goes where, and it will still work when the GPS service fails for some reason, and your smartphone's GPS borks itself.

Just take me a couple of seconds to orient myself using a map, but once oriented, away I go, leaving behind those who have put too much trust and reliance on their fancy GPS stuff.

The only advantage of a GPS is that it warns you if you're exceeding the speed limit, plus sometimes it'll inform you of where there are speed traps ahead, and/or traffic congestions, which a paper map cannot do (unless you've got a marauder's map).

Plus, a car with as little electronickery in as possible is a definite must.

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Re: Need more than coders

Spoiler; it's style and uniqueness over reliability. Though this also explains why those working in (e.g.) the Australian Outback- where getting stranded in an unreliable vehicle could mean death- drive Toyota Land Cruisers, not Range Rovers

Agreed 100%!!! The less fancy tech is in there, the better!

Fancy tech belongs in hoity-toity city cars, not in offroad vehicles.

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Re: Need more than coders

Birmabright alloy ftw.

A real b*tch to work with if you want to spraypaint it, but it's very durable.

Today's bodywork just need you to look at it wrong, and it start rusting away.

Two arrested in massive $575m cryptocurrency 'Ponzi scheme'

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Re: Crypto is a ponzi scheme...

A Ponzi² scheme.

lol, ponzi squared. That's the truth, though.

BOFH: We're an industry leader … in employing idiot managers

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Re: Old and tried methods

Percussive maintenance always works wonders.

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge
Trollface

"Oh I suspect that's the PFY with a tin of petrol – upgrading the Company's fleet vehicles to EVs …"

Nice! EV's are susceptible to battery fires... I think the Boss may find his allocated company EV getting a lot toasty in the near future...

Just follow the instructions … no wait, not that instruction to lock everyone out of everything

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

You'll have to ask the Reg Standards Bureau for that.

Musk sows more Twitter chaos, now with Official policy snafu

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

PS: It didn't take long for people to buy blue ticks for $8, via Twitter Blue, and then impersonate Nintendo of America and other brands.

*surprise musk face*

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Re: "Please note that Twitter will do lots of dumb things in coming months"

What do you snack on during a disaster film?

Biltong, crisps and Coke.

BOFH: Don't be nervous, Mr Consultant. Come right this way …

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Going forward, all meetings must have lagers and pies/nibbles for BOFHs and PFYs.

That's the only way meetings will/can be remembered/recalled.

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Re: happy Friday

Indeed. My day just got better with this eppysode.

Go ahead, be rude. You don't know it now, but it will cost you $350,000

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge
Pint

Re: Failed as a manager

"helldrone"

Beautiful. Just beautiful.

Well done! That one's for you ------->

Apple warns of slow iPhone 14 Pro shipments as COVID hurts production in China

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge
WTF?

Because of the CCP's zero-covid policy and all that, Foxconn workers fled the factory.

See this YT video : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9DXebls8Bc

Interestingly, Foxconn upped the salary quite a lot in order to entice their workers to stay, but nobody took them up on their offer.

WTF because things in China seems to be escalating towards a bad outcome. Not a good time to be in China right now.

Xiaomi reveals bonkers phone with bolted-on Leica lens that will make you look like a dork

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

reminds me of codpieces.

"mine is bigger than yours" etc etc etc.

Linux world gains ability to repair exFAT drives

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Joke

I read Agnus as Anus.

Think I've had too much internet for the day.

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Re: "akin to a secure data-erasure tool"

Haven't used ReFS yet, decided that others can have the fun and games that goes with anything new from M$.

Once the bugs are ironed out, and it is proven solid and reliable, then I'll start using it. Not before.

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

But leave it at that. Don't call it "FATty FAT FAT FAT" or anything like that. The Reg does not condone FAT-shaming.

The more things change, the more they stay the same... and crosslinked files really are great fun to have.

I haven't used FAT in ages, can't remember since last I've used it.

German cops arrest student suspected of running infamous dark-web souk

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Hail Hydra. It'll be back. Most possibly it's back, but hidden a bit better.

Anyway.

Deutschland im Deep Scheiße is more apt, don't you agree?

Elon Musk shows what being Chief Twit is all about across weird weekend

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Re: Libre Speech

the long term plan is for Twitter to become a bank

Planned merger with TSB?

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge
Trollface

How many sentences can we make with words starting with "T"?

"Tw*tter tw*tting terrific tw*ts".

"Trump trumpetting terrific tw*tters..."

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge
Trollface

Permittest me to pointest out that thou hast forgotten thine trollface icon.

I haveth addeth it to mine post.

BOFH: I know of a small biz that could deliver nothing for a fraction of the cost

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Re: Time for a staff cafeteria withdrawal...

Why have the lights gone red?

Datacenter fire takes out South Korea's top two web giants

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

There are three types of companies.

The first one without any disaster recovery strategies. First disaster they will most usually either become a No2 or No3 depending on the severity of the situation.

The second one with untested disaster recovery strategies. Usually flips over to a No3 with a major outage and their DR strategy is not up to scratch.

And then the third one with tested disaster recovery strategies. Recovers from most major incidents. But it takes time and money to keep the DR recovery strategies tested and up to date, but it is money well spent, and the enemy of this strategy is a miserly beancountery type or miserly bossly unit, who thinks that it is just a waste of good money and winging it will works out the best.

Loathsome eighties ladder-climber levelled by a custom DOS prompt

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Ahhhh... Psion's Flight Simulator for the 48k Speccy.

Crashed most of the time. Great fun.

BOFH: The Boss has a new watch – move readiness to DEFCON 2

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C) an upcoming tragic workplace accident where the boss's iWatch interfered with the facility lighting system, causing the lights to go out and the boss to suffer terrible injuries from stumbling about in the darkness (at least according to the official accident report).

---------------------------------------

You are standing in Mission Control, home of the mighty BOFH and his sidekick, the PFY.

It is pitch black. You are most likely to be eaten by a Grue.

Grues can appear in the most unfortunate of pitch-black places anytime when you don't expect them to...

Rookie programmer's code goes up in flames ... kind of

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Re: Vital detail missing

This reminded me of "School's Out" - a type-in adventure game for the 48k ZX Spectrum.

One of the objects was a guinea pig, which you have to feed beer in order for it to get drunk and stagger into a laser beam... and you'd have a hole in the wall and a fried guinea pig.

Er, Musk's trial hasn't stopped, no matter what he told Twitter, says judge

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Supposedly he is "forced" to buy twatter after all... What the dickens will he do with it?

My flabber is ghasted... $44+bn down the drain....

Boffins hunt and kill cockroaches with machine vision laser

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Joke

View the 1982's documentary TRON.

Yup, that's where they go. Inside a computer.

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Re: More useful current implementation

Gollum thanks you for the information to ensure his preciouses fishes are parasite-free.

Top notch.

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Re: Bastards

Zed, we have a lot of bugs.

FBI: We tracked who was printing secret documents to unmask ex-NSA suspect

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Re: Very strange

Note that some lightly classified stuff is at that site, so be careful what you download.

Nopenopenopenope, bitten once, twice shy.

A longish while ago the City of Johannesburg (hereafter referred to as CoJ) got upset that people was able to view the accounts and details of other people online just by simple URL manipulation.

A lot of people, including yours truly, did just that, out of curiosity.

The result was that the CoJ threatened legal action against all responsible, but nothing happened, and it's now more than 8 years later.

Learnt my lesson. Curiosity did kill the cat indeed. Not worth the excitement.

Fixing an upside-down USB plug: A case of supporting the insupportable

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Re: Outrageous

Agreed. Support staff should take thier time to sample the various delights from pubs along the way.

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

Did that with my first 486DX CPU. Pin 1 was not in the right orientation, and it made some pretty lights.

Was not impressed. Lesson learnt the hard way.

PC component scavenging queue jumper pulled into line with a screensaver

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Re: This is the most unusual way of using a Sysinternals tool...

Gotta love that screensaver!

BOFH: You want presentation layer, but we're physical layer

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The good old DOOM chainsaw

BRAAAAAAP!

Extended lunch time right now. Cheers!

Datacenter migration plan missed one vital detail: The leaky roof

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Re: What?

How much effort would it have taken to lift a ceiling tile and take a look at the state of the actual ceiling before deciding what work needed doing?

Assumption.

Bad UI killed the radio star

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Facepalm

My claim to fame...

...was not by formatting... but the following things I did :

1. Deleting COMMAND.COM on a MS-DOS 3.30 system (easy to fix)

2. Cloning an NT4 hard drive to another, overwriting an OS/2 hard drive (which I've used for testing). Upon rebooting, OS/2 booted. Oops, cloned the wrong way around. (Anybody remember GHSTWALK.EXE from that time?)

3. Fudging up a virus removal, and messing up the HDD. Should've done a backup first. Meh.

Otherwise you could avoid trouble by just thinking what you're about to do before punching the Enter key...

Keeping printers quiet broke disk drives, thanks to very fuzzy logic

Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge
Trollface

Wang

...many a joke was made...

Twitter datacenter melted down in Labor Day heat

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Unhappy

Pity...

...it did not wnet full nuclear on the meltdown.

Less twatter will make the world a better place.