Posts by Anonymous South African Coward

Re: Vintage Aircraft clubs looking better by the day

Better do that wood and fabric course soon

And see if you can improve on the first flight at Kitty Hawk.

Re: !!

Hast thou forgotten thine trollface icon?

Re: One implausibility..

I'm back on the 6th.

Like any good BOFH I still got a couple days' leave left over. Maybe a bit of careful planning and a visit to some boondocksy place is needed...

cockney rhyming slang

Which can then be shortened to "turding"

And cockneyed to "Richarding".

Re: Idiocy of Turds

So going to steal that going forward

Re: Personal Usage

I did offer to show them how the 'print lock' function on the main printer worked, but somehow it didn't meet their needs, which at the time I thought were more based around not having to walk 10m across the office, but now I understand might have been more based around making sure no one saw their attempts to claim dinner with their mistress, as expenses.

And the one downvote was from somebody with a mistress....

Re: ITeC

Ahhh, wordstar... this reminded me of the Dosfish. (I don't know who the original author was, but thanks to whoever wrote it...)

Long ago, in the days when all disks flopped in the breeze and the

writing of words was on a star, the Blue Giant dug for the people the

Pea Sea. But he needed a creature who could sail the waters, and would

need for support but few rams.

So the Gateskeeper, who was said to be both micro and soft, fashioned a

Dosfish, who was small and spry, and could swim the narrow sixteen-bit

channel. But the Dosfish was not bright, and could be taught but few

tricks. His alphabet had no A's, B's, or Q's, but a mere 640 K's, and

the size of his file cabinet was limited by his own fat.

At first the people loved the Dosfish, for he was the only one who

could swim the Pea Sea. But the people soon grew tired of commanding

his line, and complained that he could neither be dragged or dropped.

"Forsooth," they cried, "the Dosfish can do only one job at a time, and

of names he knows only eight and three." And many of them left the Pea

Sea for good, and went off in search of the Magic Apple.

Although many went, far more stayed, because admittance to the Pea Sea

was cheap. So the Gateskeeper studied the Magic Apple, and rested awile

in the Parc of the Xer Ox. And he made a Window that could ride on the

Dosfish, and do its thinking for it. But the Window was slow, and it

would break when the Dosfish got confused. So most people contented

themselves with the Dosfish.

Now it came to pass that the Blue Giant came upon the Gateskeeper, and

spoke thus: "Come, let us make of ourselves something greater than the

Dosfish." The Blue Giant seemed like a humbug, so they called the new

creature Oz II.

Now Oz II was smarter than the Dosfish, as most things are. It could

drag and drop, and could keep files without becoming fat. But the

people cared for it not. So the Blue Giant and the Gateskeeper promised

another Oz II, to be called Oz II Too, that could swim fast in the new,

32-bit wide Pea Sea.

Then lo, a strange miracle occurred. Although the Window that rode on

the Dosfish was slow, it was pretty, and the third window was the

prettiest of all. And the people began to like the third window, and to

use it. So the Gateskeeper turned to the Blue Giant and said "Fie on

thee, for I need thee not. Keep thy Oz II Too, and I shall make of my

Window an Entity that will not need the Dosfish, and will swim in the

32-bit Pea Sea."

Years passed, and the workshops of the Gateskeeper and the Blue Giant

were many times overrun by insects. And the people went on using their

Dosfish with a Window; even though the Dosfish would from time to time

become confused and die, it could always be revived with three fingers.

Then there came a day when the Blue Giant let forth his Oz II Too onto

the world. The Oz II Too was indeed mighty, and awesome, and required a

great ram, and the world was changed not a whit. For the people said "It

is indeed great, but we see little application for it." And they were

doubtful, because the Blue Giant had met with the Magic Apple, and

together they were fashioning a Taligent, and the Taligent was made of

objects, and was most pink.

Now the Gateskeeper had grown ambitious, and as he had been ambitious

before he grew, he was now more ambitious still. So he protected his

Window Entity with great security, and made its net work both in serving

and with peers. And the Entity would swim, not in the Pea Sea, but also

in the Oceans of Great Risk. "Yea," the Gateskeeper declared, "though my

Entity will require a greater ram than Oz II Too, it will be more

powerful than a world of Eunuchs.

And so the gateskeeper prepared to unleash his Entity to the world, in

all but two cities. For he promised that a greater Window, a greater

Entity, and even a greater Dosfish would appear one day in Chicago and

Cairo, and it too would be built of objects.

Now the Eunuchs who lived in the Oceans of Great Risk, and who scorned

the Pea Sea, began to look upon their world with fear. For the Pea Sea

had grown and great ships were sailing in it, the Entity was about to

invade their Ocenas, and it was rumored that files would be named in

letters greater than eight. And the Eunuchs looked upon the Pea Sea, and

many of them thought to emigrate.

Within the Oceans of Great Risk were many Sun Worshippers, and they had

wanted to excel, and make their words perfect, and do their jobs as easy

as one-two-three. And what's more, many of them no longer wanted to pay

for the Risk. So the Sun Lord went to the Pea Sea, and got himself

eighty-sixed.

And taking the next step was he of the NextStep, who had given up

building his boxes of black. And he proclaimed loudly that he could

help anyone make wondrous soft wares, then admitted meekly that only

those who know him could use those wares, and he was made of objects,

and required the biggest ram of all.

And the people looked out upon the Pea Sea, and they were sore amazed.

And sore confused. And sore sore. And that is why, to this day, Ozes,

Entities, and Eunuchs battle on the shores of the Pea Sea, but the

people still travel on the simple Dosfish.

Read more: http://www.joketribe.com/96/January/DosFish.html#ixzz66HNm8Nml

Re: ... and then chop down, pulp and make into paper ...

Vile does not describe the smell of the Sappi plant near Nylspruit. It is beyond horrible.

Whenever I had to go to Nelspruit (or that direction) I would take the Schemanskloof road.

I assume that Foul Ole Ron's smell will just scoff and laugh at that stink.

PROTIP : A pollen filter does not block that vile, disgusting and horrible smell from entering your car.

upvoted for the sudo insults.

Muhuhahaha. >clickety<>click<

Re: Wild Boar..

Hard to kill is an understatement...

Ask Duke Nukem to accompany you the next time. He's dealt with pig-cops before, so he'll know how to deal with an enraged oinker*.

*Now, there's oinkers living in the forest, and there's oinkers (South African) clamouring for more gravy from the taxpayer. Don't confuse these two oinkers.

But both kinds of oinkers are very difficult to kill off.

Because they use cheap-as-shit components which doesn't last as long as the expensive counterparts?

Re: Chortling sound coming over the ocean

Plus a poorly tested backup method, and no rollback or fallback plan.

Re: Cunning plan

Maybe they can bake this into the next Austin Powers movie.... Dr Evil threatens to floats all the navies of the worlds' submarines unless he's paid 4000 bitcoin (or something like that)

muhuhahaha.

A BOFH-type will find great uses for said laser... lining the insides of the Boss's coffee mug (for example)....