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* Posts by Anonymous South African Coward

1659 posts • joined 6 Jan 2010

Devon County Council techies: WE KNOW IT WASN'T YOU!

Anonymous South African Coward
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The BOFH was there!

All Hail the Mighty BOFH!

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ZX Spectrum Vega+ blows a FUSE: It runs open-source emulator

Anonymous South African Coward
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Oh yeah...

...does it have a micro-SD card wobble? To make it more authentic for ZX80/81 users...

...mine is the one with the working Speccy in the pockets.

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Anonymous South African Coward
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What a bloody shame.

So it's semi-vaporware then.

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The last phablet? 6.4in Samsung Galaxy Note 9 leaves you $1k lighter, needs 'water cooling'

Anonymous South African Coward
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But does it have a notch?

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Anonymous South African Coward
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Nah, not interested. "Samsung".

Pass.

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Space, the final Trump-tier: America to beam up $8bn for Space Force

Anonymous South African Coward
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Come over to the Dark Side....

BUT... Where will the money for all this come from?

Oh right, Joe and Jane Doe.

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WhatsApp security snafu allows sneaky 'message manipulation'

Anonymous South African Coward
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And some banks already allow banking by whatsapp.

Going to be interesting.

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Greybeard greebos do runner from care home to attend world's largest heavy metal fest Wacken

Anonymous South African Coward
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Re: I think I'll..

Can you use Wagner as a Ring tone?

Sauron is not happy at all. Nazgûl are on their way.

Hobbits inna pocketses

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Anonymous South African Coward
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Greebo's just a big old softie.

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Bank on it: It's either legal to port-scan someone without consent or it's not, fumes researcher

Anonymous South African Coward
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Trollface

Set up a PC with tarpitted ports

I'm sure the bank's IT department will be delighted in having their server's responsiveness messed with.

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'Can you just pop in to the office and hit the power button?' 'Not really... the G8 is on'

Anonymous South African Coward
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Sebokeng, Johannesburg.

During the 1980's a colleague of mine had to visit the clinic in Sebokeng. He had to be escorted in with an army escort. Did his work, then got duly escorted out as well by the army.

In the late 1990's I had to go to the same clinic. Then later on to a house of one of the clients.

All was peaceful (or so I thought) until the cops pulled me over, took a shufty at my car's boot and told me to proceed, telling me to be more careful next time. I was naive at that time...

...but today I would just flat-out refuse to go in there.

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ZX Spectrum reboot latest: Some Vega+s arrive, Sky pulls plug, Clive drops ball

Anonymous South African Coward
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Wah. What a sad tale.

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Dear alt-right morons and other miscreants: Disrupt DEF CON, and the goons will 'ave you

Anonymous South African Coward
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red shirted goons = star trek redshirts?

Mine's the one with the Kobayashi Maru in the pockets.

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Boffins build a NAZI AI – wait, let's check that... OK, it's a grammar nazi

Anonymous South African Coward
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Trollface

Re: Am I missing something ?

An even more minor correction : We already have grammar checkers built in to stuff things like Word up totally.

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Anonymous South African Coward
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Re: Grammar Nazi?

No, " Ve haff vays of making you talk, correctly!"

Nein nein nein nein.

"Ve haff vays of makink you tok, sveethot"

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Anonymous South African Coward
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Pedants, imagine how much more relaxed your life would be if artificial intelligence automatically corrected grammar mistake's in online forum and social network posts.

Beautiful. Made the inner grammar nazi squirm and twitch :)

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Build your own NASA space rover: Here are the DIY JPL blueprints

Anonymous South African Coward
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I'm sure the BOFh and his sidekick is hard at work modding their own version... :)

Going to show my son this article, he'll be very interested. Maybe we can build one to patrol our smallholding at night and warn us of intruders :)

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Holy ship! UK shipping biz Clarksons blames megahack on single point of pwnage

Anonymous South African Coward
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He added: "However, in this particular instance it appears they hit the jackpot account with their first try - or they have a good passive assessment so they knew which user account to target."

Insider information - the third option.

Can be anything from overhearing from a casual remark to sending in an spy (cleaning staff, contractor sent to fix that overhead light etc etc) to sniff out prospective marks.

Never, ever underestimate the ingenuity and willingness of a ne'er-do-well...

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Microsoft devises new way of making you feel old: Windows NT is 25

Anonymous South African Coward
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And yet the WorkPlace Shell trumps Windows' GUI...

I miss it. It was so flexible. You can have a dozen folders, each with their own colour schemes and fonts.

And you could have workspaces. Assign apps etc to a workspace (folder) - open it, and all the apps/docs associated with that folder opens.

The only weak point was the .INI files... if one goes corrupt, then you have a jolly time to recover from that issue.

NT4 SP6 was very stable, but not secure. In contrast Win10 is secure (better than in comparison to NT4), but stability is a 50/50 affair, what with the latest tomfoolery from Redmond in insisting it MUST be updated every so often.

I sometimes wonder what would the world have been like had OS/2 and Novell gained serious traction - Novell for file servers and OS/2 for desktop/servers....

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Tech Shutdown Blows: IT chaos cost Brit bank TSB almost £200m

Anonymous South African Coward
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TSB = Totally Spent Bank

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HPE supercomputer is still crunching numbers in space after 340 days

Anonymous South African Coward
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Re: "SSDs fail at an alarming rate in space"

Roll on the SSD that can last for ages.

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Sysadmin sank IBM mainframe by going one VM too deep

Anonymous South African Coward
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Re: Also hekje

It was used in "The Hobbit" on the 48k Speccy as a window in the goblins/elves dungeon :)

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Anonymous South African Coward
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Re: "killing off all 72 developers at once"

Quite amusing to watch - when the Kobayashi Maru scenario was played out in "Search for Spock" consoles explode and people would be hurled away from said consoles...

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Anonymous South African Coward
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Re: Rebecca - a flying start

He he he he

At one time I had the BSOD screensaver from Sysinternals running on my servers (and BOFH workstation).

People would comment to me that my machine crashed :)

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Anonymous South African Coward
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Re: Infinite booting

Just curious - how did you manage to resolve this infinite reboot scenario?

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Anonymous South African Coward
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Happy

Dear Rebecca

Thank you for a good start to an otherwise dreary and dull week :)

Regards

ASAC

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Boss helped sysadmin take down horrible client with swift kick to the nether regions

Anonymous South African Coward
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And from a cold and sunny South Africa I would like to wish Simon all of the best with his new Job, and at the same time welcome Rebecca.

Let us now do a Shanbar Ritual toast.

SHANBAR RITUAL TOAST

Excerpted from a treatise by Boos Myller, the traditional Shanbar Ritual Toast consists of four steps:

1 - Here's to us!

2 - Who's like us?

3 - Damn few

4 - And they're all dead.

Before each sentence of the Shanbar Toast, the host offers the guest a glass of some drink (e.g. rye, wine, etc., but not Illumynade). The guest then suggests a toast. The host recites the next sentence in the toast and raises his glass. The guest drinks first while the host waits. Finally, the host drinks his glass, and begins the next step by offering another drink. The first two or three steps of this intricate drinking ritual with our highly potent local rye is enough to make you drunk. Getting past the third step is the key. Remember, don't drink and drive!

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Azure running out of internets in UK South, starts rationing VMs

Anonymous South African Coward
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That's cloud computing for you!

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Trump wants to work with Russia on infosec. Security experts: lol no

Anonymous South African Coward
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Is Putin good at playing poker?

And Trump?

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People hate hot-desking. Google thinks they’ll love hot-Chromebooking

Anonymous South African Coward
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In the sight of other men, return your Chromebook.

But, when alone, grabbeth it when you can.

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You wanna be an alpha... tester of The Register's redesign? Step this way

Anonymous South African Coward
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Looks good, no grumbles from my side.

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Microsoft's TextWorld gives AI a Zork-like challenge

Anonymous South African Coward
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And Jinxter's on its way...

https://strandgames.com/

Enjoy The Pawn and The Guild of Thieves in the meantime.

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Tech team trapped in data centre as hypoxic gas flooded in. Again

Anonymous South African Coward
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Re: 30 Seconds to comply...

Luckily I was with someone when the lights on one end wall started flashing and a bell rang - it was just to let the site engineer know his desk phone was ringing in his office outside the hall.

Downloaded some brownware when that happened? :)

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Anonymous South African Coward
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Re: Reverting to type?

Who left a ladder precariously propped by the door (plus emergency buttons)?

The PFY?

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Anonymous South African Coward
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Re: New version of Cluedo

But it is always the BOFH/PFY that does it...

OTOH, the game could be to discover who gets the blame...

Something like that...

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Anonymous South African Coward
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Re: Not good stuff!

Gives new meaning to "Vaping Halon".

And, yup, it's a BOFH eppysode.

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Anonymous South African Coward
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Re: New version of Cluedo

And I think you're on to something.

What about designing and selling an actual BOFH/PFY game a la Cluedo?

The Boss in the Filing room with the Faulty CattleProd.

Sharon in the Company Canteen with the Listeriosis Viennas. :)

The Janitor in the Stairway with the PFY's patented slippery stuff.

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Anonymous South African Coward
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Re: Hasn't halon been banned or something in the '90s?

Upvoted for the BOFH reference.

And have one (sans laxatives)

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Scam alert: No, hackers don't have webcam vids of you enjoying p0rno. Don't give them any $$s

Anonymous South African Coward
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Trollface

So want to sendspam them with emails saying "COME AT ME BRO"...

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No, seriously, why are you holding your phone like that?

Anonymous South African Coward
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/blows raspberries

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Crumbs. Apple has tweaked the MacBook Pro keyboard

Anonymous South African Coward
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Cookie Monster need to review one ASAP.

While munching on cookies.

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Dudes. Blockchain. In a phone. It's gonna smash the 'commoditization of humanity' or something

Anonymous South African Coward
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Blockchain = Bollockschain :)

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Anonymous South African Coward
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Obligatory Dilbert

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What can $10 stretch to these days? Lunch... or access to international airport security systems

Anonymous South African Coward
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Re: I was "hacked" via RDP

I had a discussion once about the concept of doubling the time between login attempts:

start with a 1 second re-try and double the time for every wrong login attempt. Has anybody ever implemented this?

That's what a good BOFH would do

WITH THE ADDITION of a "bandwidth throttle" the more failed attempts, the more that specific IP or connection will be throttled.

Hopefully the attacker will give up in despair after increasing timeouts and a connection that get progressively slower.

Come to think of it, if it was possible to do a GPO where your timeout increases the more incorrect passwords you type, I will implement it most definitely.

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Geoboffins spot hundreds of ghost dunes on Mars

Anonymous South African Coward
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"I am the Kwisawtz Haderach. That is reason enough"...

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AAAAAAAAAA! You'll scream when you see how easy it is to pwn unpatched HPE servers

Anonymous South African Coward
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Re: MS did it with NT too

Hehehe

Used Teardrop against a Win95 PC - and the hard drive crashed when I teardropped it.

Lovely :D

Techie using the PC was very upset, but he did not know who b0rked his PC.

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Anonymous South African Coward
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Will "ohsh**ohsh**wegonnadiewegonnadie" also work?

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Tired sysadmin plugged cable into wrong port, unleashed a 'virus'

Anonymous South African Coward
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Trollface

"Documentation walked..." and what then?

Maybe you got interrupted by a packet storm?

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Anonymous South African Coward
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Re: Confessed? Really?

Intermittent problems are the shiz, yo! Gotta love these as they make you swear for hours on end.

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Anonymous South African Coward
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Remote site phoned early one morning, network was down. Toddled all the way over (1hr drive)

Had to play the usual game of "Hunt-the-Terminator" but found none. Went round the site a second, then a third time.

Found two terminators hidden neatly into a recessed conduit in the floor, and an extra T-piece. Disconnected the coax cable from t-piece, plugged in the one terminator, added the "spare" T-piece and second terminator to the other cable and voila.

I'm just glad coax networks have gone the way of the dodo.

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