* Posts by 0laf

1977 publicly visible posts • joined 25 Nov 2009

Hospital hacker spared prison after plod find almost 9,000 cardiac images at his home

0laf

Re: Differences...

Court rolls of upcoming cases are also public but they are only published five days ahead of the cases

0laf

Re: Differences...

Yeah trials aren't exactly publicised here. They are public in that you can go and view justice in action as a member of the public and a reporter can report on what they see in court but there is no live video etc.

Help! I'm trapped on Schrodinger's runaway train! Or am I..?

0laf
Pint

I've seen my dogs wake themselves up and scare themselves with farts over the years however bodily ejection from the sofa is a fart experience of high quality.

0laf
Mushroom

Re: Threadripper

Yep my son will (and has for some years) install the 'Fart Skill' on any Alexa device he can find.

0laf
Trollface

Re: Enquiries

If you want the ultimate in random communications try a school.

Some info comes within paper sheets, lovingly crumpled into the deepest corners of a school bag

Some are posted on a Facebook site, sometimes as timeline posts sometimes as files

Many go out on Twitter (there are no alternatives if you don't 'do' FB or Twitter, you must 'do' FB and Twitter or you are evil and should have your children removed from you)

Some info is only listed on a calendar produced once a year hidden in a secret location known only to the chosen few and revealed during a blood moon when the dead walk amongst us

Maybe there is an app with alerts which are not on Twitter or Facebook or paper, yet so frequent you have to turn them off to preserve your sanity

There may be other 3rd party apps as well to serve homework, maths, reports etc, none of which will be GDPR compliant but if you mention this you are evil; complex passwords will be whispered to your young child to remember and take home

And then reguarly you child will be told important information published nowhere else, luckly your child can hash all of this information to three words in response to any question about school, "nothing", "fine", "good" or "James hit me".

0laf
Mushroom

Threadripper

I never fail to be surprised at the volume and ferocity of farts which can eminate from a small sleeping child.

Load of Big Green for Microsoft: Lloyds Banking Group inks company-wide Managed Desktop deal

0laf
Mushroom

Re: Cripes

Paper savings in the accounts. Great for execs who can translate that into real cash bonuses and share options. Plus they'll all be gone before the house of cards comes down.

If things go really bad the taxpayer can pick up the tab (again).

Totally Subcontracted Business: TSB to outsource entire IT estate to IBM for a cool $1bn after 2019 meltdown

0laf
Thumb Up

Re: Maybe....

That might well pay significantly more than the interest. Compo is tax free as well is it not?

Spanking the pirates of corporate security? Try a Plimsoll

0laf
Terminator

Re: And AWS?

Not for much longer. Someone might want to scrape that page for posterity

Behold the Internet of Turf: IoT sucks waste energy from living plants to speak to satellites

0laf

Kill all humans

Coming soon the Iphone O-neg with two sharpened electrodes that will be rammed into your skull by a highly trained Apple Emotional Experiencologist.

This isn't to connect directly to your brain in any advanced AI singularity but just to harvest your lovely electrons to keep the battery case size down.

0laf
Coat

We don't need anyone to sow seeds of doubt.

This is clearly an example of the green shoots of enterprise.

0laf
Boffin

I'm kind a shocked

I'm not sure how to respond, this is an IOT thing that is neither laughable nor pointless.

Technology seems innovative, useful and appropriate.

Developers even acknowledge its failing in terms of biodegradability.

I feel a bit faint

MI5 gros fromage: Nah, US won't go Huawei from dear old Blighty over 5G, no matter what we do

0laf
Holmes

Sensible heads

Talk between proper intelligence people in the 5 eyes tends to go on beneath the surface whatever the political weather or news headlines.

There's something fishy going down in the computer lab

0laf
Coat

That'll earn you a one way trip to Tartare-us

Tea tipplers are more likely to live longer, healthier lives than you triple venti pumpkin-syrup soy-milk latte-swilling fiends

0laf
Trollface

Hmm onl;y with green tea and not taking into account other health factors. Dare I suggest that those who drink green tea regualrly are also statistically more likely to be the type of people who will eat more healthily.

I'm not sure too many pasty loving human larballs are regular green tea drinkers.

Dixons fined £500,000 by ICO for crap security that exposed 5.6 million customers' payment cards

0laf

Re: Anyone know how to check?

Something like the HaveIbeenpwnd.com database is probably about as much of a check as you can do easily.

0laf

PCI fines

Does the PCI council publish their fines?

Surely Dixons would be under investigation for failing those obligations as well.

0laf

Re: Millions for lawyers but not one penny for data security

£500k is the biggest fine that can be levied under the old legislation. I agree it's a joke but the ICO's hands were tied and they couldn't do more.

If the breach had happened under the GDPR Dixons would have been looking at BA level fines (£183 Million).

Love T-shirts, but can't be bothered to wash them? We've seen just the thing!

0laf
Boffin

Post office smelly man

The guy in the Post Office queue who smells. There is always one. I think it's legal requirement.

Just the same as it's a legal requirement to have a middle aged person in the same queue who must say in a 'not-a-whisper', "Look how busy it is and they've only got one counter open" and also repeatedly and loudly tut.

We’ve had enough of your beach-blocking shenanigans, California tells stubborn Sun co-founder: Kiss our lawsuit

0laf

Unfortunately there isn't all that much proactive 'protection' and the rights of access need to be defended, which costs.

0laf
Holmes

This sort of wrangle is actually quite common in the UK as well. Usually when a building development goes up covering an established (although maybe an informal) path.

People in the new development don't want dog walkers etc tramping through "their land" and start the fight by blocking access. You then get the bloodyminded who will then deliberately try to use the blocked "right of way" (no such thing in Scotland btw) to cause an argument. And what you get in the end is normally an expensive legal stand off which usually results in the path being restablished or rerouted but at great expense and with everyone on both sides pissed off.

The nutjobs will then start stringing wires across paths ant it get nasty.

The developer has usually pocked the cash and fucked off washing their hands of it ,or they'll try to sell the land that covers the access path to greedy gullible neighbouring properties. Happened to a neighbour of mine, was convinced by the developer that he'd get cheap land if he bought the path that he could then sell as a building plot after 7yr for big £$£ . What he got was land he couldn't close off and a path with 40 mature trees he was now legally responsible to maintain for the public good. He needs to carry public liability insurance for the trees now. Plus he'd paid £20k for the privilege of owning this millstone round his neck.

0laf

Godwin

Is there an equivalent to Godwin's law for the mention of "Communism" in any discussion?

The Nokia 3.2 is a phone your nan will love: One camera's more than enough, darling

0laf
Facepalm

So in effect we're once again looking at throwing away a physically working device because a supplier won't support the software. It's the ultimate in planned obsolescence isn't it. They even tell you when you'll have to throw it away.

Phones, TVs, all manner of IOT shite and soon cars, all heading to the skip because of unsupported software not physical wear and tear.

Greta will be greetin'. And I doubt this will be acceptable practice for much longer with the current backlash against plastic waste in general.

What if everyone just said 'Nah' to tracking?

0laf
Mushroom

Re: We see that you're using an ad blocker

Yep tis true.

I've run ad blockers, script blockers and tracking blockers for so long now I've forgotten what the web actually looks like.

The few times I accidentally stumble online without a raft of protections I have to wonder why anyone bothers, really the web is pretty much unusable without take at least some action.

This page is currency unavailable... Travelex scrubs UK homepage, kills services, knackers other sites amid 'software virus' infection

0laf

Re: I remember Travelex

That's about the same as a uk motorway service station near me (143p per liter). Which in the US must be biblically high. or designed to get the Brits who would probably just shrug at those prices.

Hate speech row: Fine or jail anyone who calls people boffins, geeks or eggheads, psychology nerd demands

0laf
Childcatcher

I thought that was a preamble to actual physical violence?

As in, "Them's fightin' words"

0laf
Paris Hilton

Utter boffin

Not sure about the rest but I had thought someone being called a "boffin" was complimentary.

A 'Boffin' was/is a subject matter expert or a gernerally knowledgable person.

What do you mean your eardrums need a break? Samsung-owned JBL touts solar-powered wireless headphones you don't need to charge

0laf

I wondered if they'd provide guttering with a waterwheel generator for all Jock Tamson's bairns

Xbox Series X: Gee thanks, Microsoft! Just what we wanted for Xmas 2020 – a Gateway tower PC

0laf
Terminator

Kitchen cooker extractor hood that plays games.

Space Force is go, go, go! Because we have a child as President of the United States

0laf
Alien

Spelling

Can we call this new military body by it's correct name please. I understant there are at least 3 'a's in Space so the official title being -

Spaaace Force.

And it should be said with an overly theatrical pronunciation.

With a warehouse of unsold AR goggles, Magic Leap has a brainwave… let’s rebadge ‘em and sell to business!

0laf
Thumb Up

Re: I'm struggling here

I think this is where it will go. Architechs and town planners will see use in this and engineers wanting to show and discuss complex structures. Even scientists looking at molecules etc.

Your example of kitchen design is a good one and I'm sure it's already happening somewhere using Occulus type kit.

The Windows Phone keeps ringing but no one's home: Microsoft finally lets platform die

0laf
Windows

Re: A lesson in how to f*** it up

Ditto. I've owned pretty much every mobile OS (except for RIM) and the WinPho 8.1 interface was the best for me I've ever owned.

Easy to navigate, worked with my man-fingers was very reliable, smooth and fast. It was a great phone which is probably what killed it. It was bought by people that used it as a phone not a toy, a feature phone with maps and camera. But MS wanted it to be owned by people that spend money on crap.

But the app-gap. Yep that's what did for me as well. I moved from WinPho to Apple and enjoyed my device suddenly working with everything without a problem. The UI sucked and was difficult to use with larger hands but the apps were there well supported and as said everything just worked with it.

I'm with Droid now, I hate the UI as much as Apple (I know I can put on an Winpho clone but it's too much effort now). I miss the compatibility of Apple (I was priced out) but still think the WinPho UI was the best by a country mile.

Tesla has a smashing weekend: Model 3 on Autopilot whacks cop cars, Elon's Cybertruck demolishes part of LA

0laf
Facepalm

Plod hating psycho. I need a proofreader

0laf
Terminator

Is it actually becoming a thing more than a joke? Teslas running into emergency service vehicles?

Was the AI developed by a plot hating psycho?

0laf
Holmes

Sorry you're just not rich enough to make a 'sarcastic' comment like that. See you in court

In tribute to Galaxy Note 7, BBC iPlayer support goes up in flames for some Samsung TVs

0laf
Alert

Sounds about normal for a 'smart' device. Sell it with as many 'features' as possible then abandon it to die slowly in the wilderness. Sell new 'smart' device...

Brewing in spaaaaace: SpaceX sends a malting kit to the International Space Station

0laf
Alien

Spaaaaace beeeeer

I have nothing constructive to add.

Things Microsoft will be glad to never see again: Windows 10 1809 and Windows Phone Office

0laf
Windows

I was a happy Nokie 920 user until MS abandoned the platform.

I hope the eco warriors come to get them since my Nokia was fit only for the 'small electrical' recycling skip.

Having been through Apple and Android since then I still think the WinPho UI was was best.

Onestream slammed for 'slamming' vulnerable and elderly folk: That's £35k to Ofcom, please

0laf
Mushroom

Re: The money, due within 20 working days, goes to the Treasury

£30k split 118 ways is £254 each.

Still low for dealing with the hassle IMHO but better than nothing which is what they are getting now.

Escobar Fold 1 snort all it's cracked up to be: Readers finger similarity to slated Chinese mobe

0laf

If you order one does the box weigh 2Kg but the phone only 300g? Is the box mysteriously lighter after being delivered by the 'courier'.

Bandwidth weirdness at TalkTalk has customers fuming at being denied on-demand I'm A Celeb

0laf
Thumb Up

Re: Talk Talk?

"So Virgin shit off their internet and access to their email"

I think your error was quite accurate ;-)

Do Virgin still ask for your whole password before they will provide support?

UK parcel firm Yodel plugs tracking app's random yaps about where on map to snap up strangers' tat

0laf
Pirate

Does his mean that someone else could log in and see the absence of any information about my parecel which is what I normally see?

That is until it is deposited in a random bin somewhere in my postcode, well in the vacinity of my postcode.

"Vacinity" in the galactic sense.

Astronauts brave razor sharp edges and fiddly pipes to bring joy to boffins

0laf
Pint

Re: Take that Kwikfit!

I feel quite sorry for those astronauts that after a long hard day in a suit working in hard vacuum they can't kick their boots off and enjoy a cold one. That's one of life's great pleasures.

Tory chancellor pledges to review IR35 rollout in UK private sector – just like all the other parties

0laf
Childcatcher

Re: Chop chop chaps...

Aye but to stop or roll them back would involve a politician admitting fault and lets be honest that's never going to happen. Screw those million contractors and think about the reputation of a junior minister that no one knows the name of.

BBC tells Conservative Party to remove edited Facebook ad featuring its reporters

0laf
Facepalm

They really all are a nasty shower of shits in this election.

I really don't believe any of them are either competent or trustworthy in any capacity and I happily lump in all of the significant parties into my generalisation.

I lament the lack of a Monster Raving Loony or a None-of-the-Above candidate, even an indpendent. They'd have my vote.

You're drinking morning coffee in 2019. These eggheads are in 2119 landing drones on their arms like robo-falconers

0laf
Childcatcher

Wasn't that the plot of Big Hero6?

0laf
Terminator

If you've read any of Neal Asher's book you might be seeing the begining of the evolution of the Shuriken

'Ethical' hackers say: It's just hacker. To be one is no longer a bad thing

0laf
Meh

Back in the day a long long time ago.... hacker were enthusiasts who toyed with systems and technology out of interest not malice.

Crackers however hacked things for criminal intent.

Delighted to see that after about 40yr we're back where we started.

Bose customers beg for firmware ceasefire after headphones fall victim to another crap update

0laf
Holmes

Does anyone know the legal standpoint of a corporation offering ongoing support in the form of firmware upgrades which then damages or degrades the performance of a purchased product?

I don't own these headphones btw it's the principle I'm curious about.

Could you take the company (i.e. Bose) to the small claims court for damages?

Planets may lurk in harshest environments. Not that Novell NetWare server you can't unplug – black holes

0laf
Boffin

Did I read this right that a supermassive black hole could have planets with orbits 10ly out?

If that right my mind is indeed boggled.

I look forward to this being modelled in Elite :-D