* Posts by Mako

223 publicly visible posts • joined 12 Nov 2009

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The next Steve Jobs is: Kanye West

Mako

"...and an unspecified McQueen "

Clearly he's talking about Lightning McQueen, star of the animated Disney/Pixar movie, "Cars".

Kanye is planning on painting himself bright red, then running down the street making screeching noises.

Parasites spark swarm of zombie bees

Mako

This. A thousand times this.

I once saw a documentary where some poor bloke in Africa was pulling some sort of (very long) worm out of his leg by wrapping it around a stick. Since then, anything like that - even the thought of botflies - makes me want to puke in my shoes. Or possibly someone else's.

'Mobiles bake men's balls' bog ad is cobblers - new ruling

Mako

"Exposed sperm don't last long even if you do nothing, never mind cooking them with a phone."

So...you're saying that I'm wasting my time filling my fishtank with them then? Oh well, there goes my infertility insurance policy.

Ho-hum.

Does, um, anyone know if it's legal to dispose of 80 litres of semen down the drain in one go?

Sites knocked offline by OpenDNS freeze on Google

Mako

To be fair...

...only yesterday a commenter here said that although he's not in the industry and not necessarily tech-literate, he does enjoy reading many of the articles and learning.

So although he could probably go off and Google "DNS", it's a nice touch for people like him, and totally harmless for people like you and I. Well, unless you feel threatened by a red-top appearing to talk down at you, that is. ;-)

Germans increase office efficiency with 'cloud ceiling'

Mako
Happy

I am profoundly...

...glad that I swallowed my tea before reading that. Otherwise tea|nose>screen.

Space soldiers save satellite from FLAMING DEATH

Mako
Joke

"...surely they have had information from which they could determine that this was the case?"

Someone's ex-wife admitted to pouring sugar into the fuel tank?

Deep-fried planets discovery offers hope for Earth’s future

Mako

So basically this is like...

...when you're barbecuing, and a couple of Teriyaki ribs fall through the grill and onto the coals? The remains of the ribs are still there, but they sure aren't any use to anyone.

Cops arrest cop in alleged corrupt cop-bung probe

Mako

Not commenting on their punishment, but apropos of the misdemeanour those two officers committed, who on earth drinks something that they have *found*?

Even if it was apparently sealed it would still feel like Russian Roulette to me.

Latest El Reg project: Rise of the Robot Sheep

Mako
Thumb Up

@Mike Moyle

That is utterly full of win!

Facebook shoves your face into creepy 'sponsored stories' in 2012

Mako

Photos like that will be used to advertise the new "Best of The Rolling Stones" album - track #1 being "Brown-Eyed Girl".

Software bug fingered as cause of Aussie A330 plunge

Mako

"I also still don't understand why...

...in regards to AF447, Airbus' software doesn't sound the low altitude warning until 2000ft mid-flight."

I'm not an aircraft engineer (just a sim pilot) but as I understand it, the GPWS* is coupled to the radar altimeter, which points down and slightly forwards, and is used to give altitude *above ground level*.

Since it only really works up to about 2000-2500ft AGL, that would be your answer.

The main altimeter clearly works all the way up to the aircraft's service ceiling, but it does so based on air pressure, and reports altitude *above mean sea level* - it has no way of "knowing" where the actual ground is.

For reference, I usually fly the POSky 757-200 and -200C, so it's not an Airbus-specific thing.

*The box that shouts "TOO LOW - TERRAIN!" at you. It also gives altitude callouts on descent.

Comet Lovejoy spotted plunging toward fiery doom

Mako

Wh..why am I looking at a picture of your very scratched DVD?

Voyager probe reaches edge of Solar System's 'bubble'

Mako

Ed: "Hey Rob - looks like we're just about to cross the heliopause."

Rob: "Great! Interstellar space, here we come..."

Voyager: *BONK!*

Seriously though, there's something a bit melancholy about the thought of these tiny spacecraft gamely soldiering on out there, and something hugely impressive about 1970s-era hardware still functioning in an incredibly hostile environment. Well done, guys.

UK.gov to require you to opt out of data-sharing plan with drug firms

Mako

"We do not doubt that the objectives of this policy are laudable."

I do. Unless of course the cynical monetisation of confidential data is considered "laudable" these days.

Snowbound Alaskan survives on frozen beer

Mako

Even for a trip up the snow-bound M1 in winter I carry blankets, stout boots and a thermos full of sweet tea in the car with me.

I can't imagine having such a disrespect for nature as this assclown evidently does.

Demon Currys iPad showered kids with HARD-CORE smut

Mako

She said her youngest still remembers the grot and "laughs",

...but she herself cried for days afterwards. Hmm.

Bloke claims ex swiped his sperm to make twins

Mako

Assuming his story is true, (and whether these signed papers exist will probably be the clincher), it is a fine example of one of life's great truisms. One which cannot be taught, but which must be learned for onesself, through experience;

"Don't stick it in the crazy."

It's the ALL NEW FUTURISTIC WEAPONS Black Friday Roundup!

Mako

Liked the article...

...but am commenting just to say thanks for putting the footnotes on the same page where they're referenced. Any chance of some of your colleagues taking up that practice, Lewis?

What should a sci-fi spaceship REALLY look like?

Mako

Yes, it is.

The Nostromo was a tug, which pulled a large asteroid covered in/embedded with mining equipment and a refinery.

It separated from that asteroid before it landed on LV-426, and that's what you're seeing in the picture in the article - the Nostromo on its own. Later, after they repair the landing gear and took off again, they performed a rendezvous with the asteroid and reattached to it, (though I don't recall whether this was actually shown in the film).

Ripley's self-destruct of the ship took out both the Nostromo *and* the refinery - much to Weyland-Yutani's annoyance - and she escaped in the tiny Narcissus, an aerodynamic little shuttle.

Boffins one step closer to Terminator vision

Mako

This isn't an anti-animal testing rant, but using rabbits is going to give you a very limited test set there:

"Does it still draw power? Check. Is it irritating the eye? Nope. Okay Fluffy - tell me what you can see."

"..."

Stripper nicked for 'nicking knickers' with kids in tow

Mako

Is it just me, or is the byline "Team Register" the journalistic equivalent of "An Alan Smithee Film"?

UK Border Force chief walks in passport checks row

Mako

"A pilot, sanctioned by May, commenced in July to target what she described as "high-risk passengers" entering UK ports."

I could be wrong, but that statement sounds an awful lot like it authorises profiling. I thought it had been decided that profiling was racist (by the modern definition) and therefore not acceptable?

NASA: Martians likely lived underground

Mako

Yep. Sort of.

In Protector, plus a few short stories in the Known Space anthology. Technically they lived on the surface, but under the regolith.

Cops should help us slay trolls, says Facebook wonk

Mako

I can't decide what's worse...

...the fact that they honestly believe disruptive forum posts are within the purview of the police, or the fact that our glorious leaders and policy-makers are still using the word "cyberspace".

"Minister, what's cyberspace?"

"Well I'm lead to believe it's a little bit like that film TRON..."

We like zombies… because we are zombies

Mako

I smell an IgNobel prize on the way.

Boeing 787 Dreamliner makes first commercial flight

Mako

"...has touched down safely and on time at Hong Kong, a little over three years after it was due to arrive."

That's one hell of a long flight. Guess those new engines really *are* efficient then.

Hacktivists pose growing threat to industrial computing

Mako

Dear $Industry,

Please stop connecting critical systems to the internet.

Thanks.

Astronomy crowd spots PLANET KILLER!

Mako

Obviously it would would be rubbish...

...to be wiped out by the astronomical equivalent of a fender-bender, but don't you think it would add insult to injury for the impactor to be called "Kracht-Busch"?

Did Bahraini activists closet anti-gay bus baron?

Mako

I'm curious...

"His PR team accused the Chocolate Factory of censorship and are threatening to bring the case to the UK Parliament for investigation."

Notwithstanding the content of this article, (which may provide an innocent explanation), if Google really had manipulated his page ranking, why would it be a matter for Parliament?

In other words, if Google said, "Yeah, we did that. So what?" exactly what sanctions would Parliament be entitled to impose? What misdemeanour would Goole be alleged to have committed?

I'm genuinely puzzled here.

Lincs bloke fined in deceased hedgehog outrage

Mako

I don't see what all the fuss is about. The man was clearly just preparing his entry for the Turner Prize.

London Olympics journey planner crash effort launched

Mako

Upvoted for truth.

A government project with a fixed end-date? I'm sure it'll be a runaway success.

Space junk at 'tipping point', now getting worse on its own

Mako

"No I'm not drunc bno I'm not boozed up."

You sure, mate?

NASA to work on approved sci-fi books

Mako

Let's just hope...

...that they don't suffer the same problem that all Sci-Fi writers seem to get as they age; the urge to include poorly-written sex scenes:

"Soyuz quivered as the mighty Apollo thrust toward her aching docking ring"

etc.

I'm looking at YOU, Niven. And Asimov.

Google lands patent for, um, estimating shipment time

Mako

Texting...

"On my way. Will bring a curry. should be there about 7.."

*BEEP-BOOP!* THIS TEXT MESSAGE IS IN VILOATION OF PATENT#7,996,328. PLEASE REMAIN STILL WHILE LAWYERS ARE DISPATCHED TO YOUR LOCATION

Because, you know, there's no prior art here at all.

Paul McCartney's ex-wife makes phone-hacking claim

Mako

You're way too credulous.

From the article;

"You've obviously hacked my phone and if you do anything with this story... I'll go to the police."

"Hacked"? That conversation (allegedly) took place in 2001. Do you honestly believe that Heather Mills would have used the word "hacked" in that context at that time?

Even if her voicemails *were* intercepted, that conversation never happened. She's lying through her teeth and her credibility is as low as it's ever been.

Isolated human genes can be patented, US court rules

Mako

Hmm.

"This ruling has divided legal opinion and, if upheld, would be welcomed by America's multi-billion dollar DNA industry," David Bloom, a patent lawyer with Pinsent Masons said.

Billions of dollars involved? That dull thud you just heard was the sound of a rubber stamp.

Hi-tech mobile hack spreads rumour of Taliban chief's death

Mako

I just wanted to say...

...that a $10M Bounty must involve some truly gigantic quantities of coconut and chocolate.

Energy scavenger eats leftover wireless signals

Mako
Black Helicopters

RE:Hasn't this been done before?

Given the low power, I doubt we'll see a widespread commercial application for this anytime soon.What useful work could it do for the average person? Charge their watch maybe?

What I CAN see is a whole bunch of guys in MI6 sitting bolt upright in their seats with the realisation that this could enable indefinite unattended surveillance...

Wonder how long it'll be before they can draw enough juice to run an ornithopter with a mic and camera?

Asteroid hunter achieves Vesta orbit

Mako

RE: What Astronauts?

Hint:

"...President Obama has directed NASA to send astronauts to an asteroid by 2025, and Dawn is gathering crucial data that will inform that mission."

I suspect that Jubtastic just might have been commenting on this bit of the article.

One-armed Belarus man monocuffed for clapping

Mako

Evidently...

...Belarus' police force is familiar with the Zen koan, "What is the sound of one hand clapping?"

FBI probes claims of Murdoch 9/11 hack

Mako

Couldn't agree more.

And while it would be disgusting to find that they'd actually done this, (though not particularly surprising), I really hope they were stupid enough to do so. There'll be a groundswell of rage so powerful that Rebekah Brooks will feel it in London through the heels of her Louboutins.

As for NI: Kick it. Kick it 'til it BREAKS.

Cambridge IT guy 'was the Spanish Guy Fawkes', say cops

Mako

Eneko Gogeaskoetxea Arronategui

What a coincidence; I sneezed while typing "Google" and accidentally got his middle name in my address bar.

So, LOHAN: What's it to be?

Mako

The mothership/balloon...

...should be called;

Partially

Inflated

Gaseous

First-stage

Untethered

Creating

Kinetic

Energy

Reserve

New Cassini pics of Saturnian 'Ice Queen' Helene

Mako

"Diminutive moonlet"

Sounds like a good name for a racehorse.

Boffins grow brains in petri dish

Mako

I wouldn't worry.

The only thing a cultured brain-in-a-dish is likely to think is, "AAAAAHHH! OH MY GOD! I'M A BLOODY BRAIN IN A DISH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!"

Extragalactic black hole particle fountain awesomeness

Mako

Impressive reolution...

...but I assume from the fact that it's a (makeshift) *radio* array, that it's only picking up RF and the image had false colour put on it later.

In other words, I was going to ask whether it would be worthwhile pointing it at an exoplanet or two, but I imagine the little natural RF planets put out would be drowned out by their attendant stars? Or have I got that wrong?

Amazon cloud fell from sky after botched network upgrade

Mako

Page 2 Header

Great. Now I've got "These clouds fall like dominos, DOMINOS" in my head. Cheers for that.

US Marines splurge on Brit troops' armoured pants

Mako

I seem to remember reading...

..somewhere that the US FDA does not recognise the anti-microbial properties of silver.

Therefore products such as clothing and food storage containers couldn't be avertised with it as a benefit.

Hope they don't get caught out by that, (assuming that military clothing and consumables need FDA approval, that is).

Brain boffins in cortex mapping breakthrough

Mako

Re: Cool

You know, I realise that animal testing is arguably for the common good.

But every time I'm confronted with it, I can't help thinking that surely humans would be better, and provide more accurate results. It's not as though we we don't have high-walled buildings just full of them that we could use.

Spooks' secret TEMPEST-busting tech reinvented by US student

Mako

Just how *ultra*sonic are we talking here?

I mean, could we just use dogs as a detector? Or bats?

Every government department issued with a Labrador and a Pipistrelle...

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