* Posts by Stoneshop

5954 publicly visible posts • joined 8 Oct 2009

Microsoft buys LinkedIn for the price of 36 Instagrams

Stoneshop
Windows

Re: Pretty obvious, no ?

An Agile Python DevOps Cloud Container version of Windows.

Stoneshop
Headmaster

Re: Eh?

So basically they are going to open up all your [private and confidential] Office365 content,

"Working on confidential content" and "cloud services" (not limited to O365). I see a contradiction here.

Government regulation will clip coders' wings, says Bruce Schneier

Stoneshop
FAIL

Re: I want a dumb house.

Fifteen cents the 'chip', plus antenna. Who needs to warn You, miserable consumer?

I do, myself. There are no 15 cent chips (plus antenna) in the gear I use.

Stoneshop
Holmes

Re: What is the IOT anyway?

(that are functionally similar to the X25 stuff we could get from Radio Shack years ago if a little more expensive).

ITYM X10

Rat Shack is dead, X10 doesn't use the Internet, so it's not Hip Innovative Shit

Stoneshop

Re: I want a dumb house.

My house will be reasonably smart, but as such not connected to the Internet. Its smarts are autonomous and self-contained, with its own sensors and such.

Stoneshop
FAIL

Re: More Hype

And you won't be affected by the insecurity by others' use of IoT (including public services). No. Definitely not. Nuh-huh.

Tinder bans under-18s: Moral panic averted

Stoneshop
Headmaster

Re: Why is 18 improbably old?

personally I would rather limit sexual relations and mariages for everyone to age +/- 10 %.

Once I reach the fine mature age of 98 I'll conform to your limit.

In the meantime, I'd say "fuck you", but I prefer limiting that to the consensual relation I'm in.

Cold space gas? Sure, supermassive black holes can eat that. Nom, nom, nom

Stoneshop

Re: And another question . . .

"Cold gas raining in . . " sounds like a purely radial flow

The speaker is probably someone from the Outer Hebrides, where any angle between 30 and 80 degrees from vertical is called 'raining in', and between 80 and horizontal is 'swept'. There's no term for less than 30, for obvious reasons.

Bing web searches may reveal you have cancer (so, er, don't use Bing?)

Stoneshop

Re: US Drug market

Big Pharma

That's Bing Pharma now.

Marauding monkey blacks out Kenya

Stoneshop
Coat

The monkey jumped

at the chance for a job as a SCADA programmer

Mars One puts 100 Red Planet corpses colonists through fresh tests

Stoneshop

"Ah, but we're on Mars now"

"WE'RE NOT"

"Shhh, pipe down. The show contract says we are"

Stoneshop
Pirate

Re: 'And then we'll just be watching a pile of corpses millions of miles away'

Nah, initially it'll be just four, and only if the last one stacks the other three, then goes to die on top of them. Otherwise it won't be much of a pile, really.

Most of the remaining 96 will die of old age, traffic accidents, collapsing scaffolding, choking on chicken bones, dropped pianos, DIYing and other conventional earthly mishap before even half of them have been added to the heap.

Stoneshop
Joke

"not even if you were the last man..."

"on earth"

"Ah, but we're on Mars now"

Astroboffins create music from SPAAAAAAAAAAACE

Stoneshop

Milky Way muso might just unlock secrets to galaxy's youthful years

Currently playing: Hawkwind - Space Is Deep

Wi-Fi hack disables Mitsubishi Outlander's theft alarm – white hats

Stoneshop
Boffin

Re: @ Lee D Yay, Yet Another Vehicle Hijacking By Maker Lazyness

Thats why fitting a large, sharp, pointy metal spike in the middle of the steering wheel IS a good idea.

So that when you slump over the steering wheel through whatever cause, you stay slumped. No sliding down sideways or whatever.

Maybe re-purposing some of the steering wheel buttons as defibrillator pads would be more effective.

Stoneshop

Re: Yay, Yet Another Vehicle Hijacking By Maker Lazyness

or even a sanity check - with either security engineers or a simple street thug (the latter may be a bit difficult to locate for a car maker,

Put the pre-production model in one of the less-savoury Tokyo districts, with a few auxiliary measures to get the crook attempting the car theft to, ahem, change his plans according to Mitsubishi's intentions..

Model's horrific rape case may limit crucial online free speech law

Stoneshop
FAIL

Re: law enforcement?

The sad part is, the site could have gotten around the problem by creating a "feedback" / "ratings" section for each model and agency

"Neither Flanders nor Callum posted information on the website, but they used it to contact models for "auditions.""

There's a flaw in your suggestion.

There's also a flaw in Model Mayhem's site setup, in allowing access for unregistered viewers to rather sensitive personal information.

Latin-quoting Linus Torvalds plays God by not abusing mortals

Stoneshop
Pint

Re: Iupiter salva reginam

All of Britannia? No, a small village ...

(beer, because no hot water with a dash of milk icon)

Mark Zuckerberg's Twitter and Pinterest password was 'dadada'

Stoneshop

Re: Alleged "hack"

the computer missuse act

That's young women using a computer? Didn't know there was law regarding that.

And IMO using Facebork qualifies as computer misuse anyway.

Stoneshop
Holmes

Zuckerberg on privacy

"Privacy is no longer a social norm", and in this case he's putting his money info where his mouth is.

Doesn't mesh with spending 100 million to protect his privacy though. Quod licet Jovi non licet bovi, apparently.

Stoneshop
Coat

Re: Should have changed it to...

"Ichliebdichnichtduliebstmichnicht"

Would YOU start a fire? TRAPPED in a new-build server farm

Stoneshop
FAIL

Re: Could you not

And to use that USB stick you want not only a system to be booting off it, but also a screen and keyboard. Which weren't there; if they were he could have logged into one of their systems and sent a message even without rebooting one.

Stoneshop

Re: stern words warranted

They usually work on a local radio system and I've also seen walkie-talkies and pagers with such a function. With everything inside the Faraday cage there's no reception problem. That said, for the two commercial DCs I've had to work in I had weak but sufficient phone and UMTS signal.

BOFH: What's your point, caller?

Stoneshop
FAIL

Mail size

"I should be able to email any size of file I like! It's <insert year here> not the dark ages!"

Back just before Y2K, the Helldesk punted me a call from a guy in the Plant Facilities department, who wanted to know if his message had been received by the construction company who he wanted to construct something.

Him: "How long does it take for a message to reach the recipient?"

Me: "Anywhere between a few seconds and several months (I had not long before that received a message that had been stuck on a server somewhere for nearly ten months).

Him: "That's ridiculous."

Me: "It is not"

Him: "But can you tell me if it's received already?"

Me: (well, why don't you call them and ask?)

Me: "Is it <message of several tens of MB, sent 2 hours ago>"?

Him: "Yes"

Me: "It's about halfway done in the Sent queue on the server, because of the 256k link that handles all mail. From there it goes into <parent company>'s mail system, which means I can't trace it any more. Then it'll get handed off to the recipient's provider, and I don't know if they have push email or just poll regularly. In other words, I have no frigging idea if and when your mail will arrive, nor do I have any control over it."

Him: <protestations>

Me: "If you want it delivered now, burn it on a CD, get on your bike and hand it to them. It's two blocks away; even if you walk they can have it half an hour from now for certain."

Him: <grumps>

Mushroom farm PC left in the dark and fed … you know the rest

Stoneshop

I was expecting

the computer failing to restart because of mould everywhere.

Stoneshop
Flame

Re: Fast Typing is a MUST.

If you stood still too long, even though the floor was deep poured concrete, the soles of you shoes would melt.

Workers at blast furnaces used to wear wooden clogs because of that. They needed frequent replacing, but they did the job.

'Windows 10 nagware: You can't click X. Make a date OR ELSE'

Stoneshop
Mushroom

Re: Wow...

Vista is end of life, so is this upgrade mandatory because Vista itself is no longer supported?

Upgrades can only be mandatory in cases that require vendor support.

There's no-one stopping me from running VMS 5.4 on a MVAX 2000 (provided the bloody thing starts up in the first place), but I can't go calling Digital Compaq HP HPE when it bugchecks.

Never mind that it would be useless to call HPE anyway, given their appalling lack of knowledge regarding VMS.

Stoneshop
Mushroom

Re: It's GWX Control Panel or Linux

Windows Registry Editor Version 5.00

[HKLM\SOFTWARE\Policies\Microsoft\Windows\WindowsUpdate]

"DisableOSUpgrade"=dword:00000001

[HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SOFTWARE\Policies\Microsoft\Windows\GWX]

"DisableGWX"=dword:00000001

[HKLM\Software\Microsoft\Windows\CurrentVersion\WindowsUpdate\OSUpgrade]

"ReservationsAllowed"=dword:00000000

Next week you'll be needing to add

[HKLM\SOFTWARE\Policies\Microsoft\Windows\WindowsUpdate]

"TotallyBlockOSUpgradeAndIMeanIt"=dword:00000001

[HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SOFTWARE\Policies\Microsoft\Windows\GWX]

"GWXGoDieInAFire"=dword:00000001

Feinstein-Burr's bonkers backdoor crypto law is dead in the water

Stoneshop
Holmes

Re: US senators' bill won't make it to the floor of Congress

I was thinking of wiping another part of the anatomy...

Their larynx?

Most of their unsavourable excrement comes out through there.

Stoneshop
FAIL

US senators' bill won't make it to the floor of Congress

It should.

So that they all can wipe their feet on it.

It would be even better if it was outside on the steps, so that the public can have a go too.

Bletchley finds Hitler plain text war machine on Ebay, buys for £10

Stoneshop
Joke

advertised as a telegram machine

"Item not as described, parts missing, not working"

UK eyes frikkin' Laser Directed Energy Weapon

Stoneshop

Re: Laser Directed Energy Weapon (LDEW)

Well, it's a Photon Energy Weapon.

The Windows Phone story: From hope to dusty abandonware

Stoneshop

Re: Shame

Betamax's Achilles' heel was that you couldn't fit a full-length movie on one tape. And that was indeed a deal breaker. So yes, Beta would always lose to VHS for all but speciality applications like TV stations using it for shorts and commercials.

It appears you're confusing Betamax and Betacam here. Early '90's I had a Betamax recorder, and you could fit three hours on an L750 tape. Furthermore, I doubt that broadcast would be using a home format like Betamax, rather using Betacam or (before that) U-Matic/BVU.

Betamax losing the video format war is commonly attributed to porn not being available as rental video.

Surface Book nightmare: Microsoft won't fix 'Sleep of Death' bug

Stoneshop
Headmaster

that particular legal oblivion.

That's what Apple is actually trying to do. But ITYM 'obligation'

Stoneshop
Devil

"stakeholders"

The ones holding the stakes.

With the C*O's heads on them.

Google-backed solar electricity facility sets itself on fire

Stoneshop

Re: Predicting Problems

Have you watched any Hollywood movies lately?

Actually, no. Last one was a Jordanian movie, and the one before that was Mønti Pythøn ik den Hølie Gräilen. Before that, I have no frigging idea, it was that long ago

Stoneshop

Re: Supply commitments?

Maybe the smartest move is to move LA?

San Andreas could help there.

Stoneshop
Headmaster

And they say that Americans don't understand irony...!

Well, the mirrors are more like silvery.

Stoneshop
Boffin

Mirrors

All Archimedes' rig would need (I'm speculating) would be a smaller targeting mirror with a shorter focal length attached to the main mirror,

No need to have each individual mirror concave shaped, because at a distance of 100m or more they would be as good as flat anyway. And there's a trick to aiming a shield/mirror by having a hole in it and a small mirror on the back, concentric with the hole. You hold the mirror between you and the target so that you see the target through the hole, and a bright spot from the sun through the hole on the ground, reflected towards you by the mirror on the back. Lining up that reflection with the hole itself will have the sun reflected right on the target. And you're behind the shield/mirror the entire time.

Stoneshop
Coat

Re: Our old enemy - the Sun!

They've been borged by Oracle since some years; not that they are less of an enemy anyway.

The one with the pockets bulging with orange DEC RDB binders.

Stoneshop
Holmes

Re: Predicting Problems

Surely a far simpler solution would be to lower the shutters over the mirrors.

A sprinkler system at the top of the tower, but spreading mud* instead of water. If it needs to work in case of power loss it should be driven by a bunch of cylinders with compressed air.

* or see icon.

Stoneshop
Boffin

Re: Predicting Problems

Helicopter icon because said reflected beams may still hit an unfortunate one in the wrong place by chance..

Even if all of the primary mirrors (the ones that focus the sunlight on the top of the tower) were misaligned and hitting a safeguard mirror (one that is intended to reflect a beam that would otherwise hit a part of the tower that's not meant to be hit), the result would be a beam spreading out from that safeguard mirror. At double the height of the tower the beam would then be spread out over an area equal to the area covered by the mirrors on the ground, and the intensity of the reflected light at that point would be not more than the intensity of the sunlight itself, but from below instead of from the sky. The only caveat being the safeguard mirror being able to withstand the energy absorbed by it.

Simple optics, really.

And blasting a jet out of the sky would need the mirrors to track it for minutes. Pretty infeasible given the speed with which those mirrors move; not that that would bother a Hollywood script writer.

Troll seeks toll because iPhones work

Stoneshop
Facepalm

Re: If this doesn't shake up the patent system...

I'm sure there is already patent for method or apparatus that can be used for buying a ticket to Mars.

... on a mobile device.

GM crops are good for you and the planet, reckon boffins

Stoneshop

Re: Gene escape

Well, with Bayer attempting to take over Monsanto, the next thing that will come out of that is GM food with built-in Aspirin, so that if you eat it you won't get a headache from thinking about whether or not it's good for you and the environment.

'Knucklehead' Kansas bloke shoots self in foot

Stoneshop
Headmaster

Re: +Gordon 10

What is a d**n?

Darn. Which is what you do with socks that have holes in them, from whatever cause.

Stoneshop
Flame

Re: Acts of God...

Further, there are no circumstances I can think of where I would keep on my socks when naked :).

Not a member of the Red Hot Chilli Peppers then?

Hack probing poodle sacrifice cuffed for public crap

Stoneshop
Coat

Re: Smokey bear says:

Use the woods, man.

Only if the reporter is a bear.

You wanted innovation? We gave you Clippy the Paperclip in your IM client

Stoneshop
Holmes

Re: sarcasm in Silicon Valley

I think Andrew's point was that for all the innovation coming out of t'valley at the moment the people might as well be AIs.

Where AI stands for Assimilated Idiots, doesn't it?

Google asks the public to name the forthcoming Android N operating system

Stoneshop
Big Brother

Nosey McNoseface

Does sound less intrusive, but at least fits the "N"