* Posts by Peter Storm

171 publicly visible posts • joined 2 Oct 2009

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MY GOD, IT'S FULL OF CARS: SpaceX parks a Tesla in orbit (just don't mention the barge)

Peter Storm

"If it was a British rocket we might allow a few modest 'Hurrahs' and perhaps the gentle waving of small flags."

I think we might have run to a "splendid!" as well under the circumstances.

Zionists stole my SHOE, claims Muslim campaigner

Peter Storm

!

He's not a Mossad agent, he's just a very naughty boy!

Samsung's bend blame blast: We DEMAND a Galaxy S6 Edge do-over

Peter Storm

Re: Bandwagon

"Things bend if you try to bend them"

That's very true. My brother in law once managed to bend a Triumph Stag around a tree.

High on bath salts, alleged Norse god attempts tree love

Peter Storm

Norse god high on bath salts

Something about leading a Norse to water? Oh I don't know, too early on a Monday morning to think properly.

$17,000 Apple Watch: Pointless bling, right? HA! You're WRONG

Peter Storm

I get you point, and yes, Canon are very good at marketing their gear, but I have one of those red ringed zoom lenses, and I can testify that it's a f***ing great piece of kit, and unlike the Apple watch, the guts are definitely not the same as in the cheaper version.

Shove off, ugly folk, says site for people who love themselves

Peter Storm

Hmmm

Are you sure this site isn't secretly a selection process for the Golgafrincham B Ark?

'Hi, I'm from Microsoft and I am GOING TO KILL YOU'

Peter Storm

Problem with my windows

The last one I had told me they had detected a problem with my windows.

I tried to tell him that my widows were all working fine. They were double glazed, they all opened and closed really nicely and were really sparkling as I'd just had them cleaned.

He seemed to get very irate at this point so I started laughing to try and lighten the mood. Unfortunately this only seemed to make him more upset and he hung up.

Toyota to launch hydrogen (ie, NATURAL GAS) powered fuel cell hybrid

Peter Storm

Re: Only in Japan though - until Sept 2013?

Only if it can produce 1.21 gigawatts.

Finnish PM: Apple has DESTROYED FINLAND

Peter Storm

A message to the people of Finland

Elect a new PM. This one's a bit of a dick.

DVLA website GOES TITSUP on day paper car tax discs retire

Peter Storm

Re: Why wait?

"Who waits for the last minute to buy a new disc" Me, when I notice it's the first day of the month and suddenly think "Shit! I haven't taxed the bloody car yet".

Apple 'Genius': iPhone 6? We've had NO COMPLAINTS about our BENDY iThing

Peter Storm

"iPhone 6 Plus bending"

It's just the new Apple Bananaphone

Peter Storm

Re: So what's the actual problem?

"However, being transported in a user's pocket is a normal use-case for a phone."

Not, I would argue, if you're a big fat bastard and you sit on it.

Peter Storm

Re: So what's the actual problem?

Of course it must be Apple's fault. My daughter ran over her iPad in her Volkswagen Passat estate loaded with gear and the BLOODY SCREEN CRACKED! It still went on working fine though, but hey, c'mon Apple, people drive over their i devices every day surely.

Ab phab: Apple is Britain's coolest brand YET AGAIN

Peter Storm

Re: Only one one the list

Dead right about Aston Martin, especially the convertibles. My boss has one and he'd make Piers Morgan look cool.

A real wankermobile.

Edit: Unless it's a classic like a DB5 or similar of course.

iPhone 6, Watch: Hate it or really hate it, Apple's now a $604.77bn biz

Peter Storm

Re: love em or hate em

That maybe true, but making that 10 grand probably consisted of doing next to fuck all.

Peter Storm

Re: Solution or problem ?

That's probably the highest ever percentage use of the word "snark" in written statement.

Excellent work!

Boffins attempt to prove the universe is just a hologram

Peter Storm

and only the ones that are lucky enough to have frickin lasers on their heads

Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD

Peter Storm

Quantum Chicken!

A quantum chicken would have both crossed the road and not crossed the road therefore eliminating the need for crossing at all as it would be on both sides at once and on neither side. There was no sign of it when the police arrived because of the observer effect, as as any fule kno.

Lenovo posts an INCREASE in desktop PC and notebook sales

Peter Storm

This is true. A couple of weeks ago I had to buy in another new PC for our company. Usually I go for HP workstations but everything that didn't come with the Windows 8 abomination was hugely over specced (and priced). Had a choice with Lenovos with Win 7 pro loaded. Seems like a good solid PC too.

Cave pits, ideal for human bases, FOUND ON MOON

Peter Storm

Re: Mind the Exogorth

That's not all they'll need to look out for.

http://grandoldmovies.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/1stmen-3-poster.jpg

Samsung rebrands store as Galaxy Apps, eyes up Google Play customers

Peter Storm

Re: No, thanks

Meet the new boss same as the old boss.

'Ribbed' for your pleasure: Jony Ive unveils NAKED IPHONE

Peter Storm

Re: So

Ah yes I remember those coke bottle and milk bottle phones. Made a bit of a bulge in the pocket but the milk bottle phone was dead handy if you got into a punch up.

Samsung in Brazilian strip: Robbers snatch $6.3m in gear from plant

Peter Storm

"the loot might be worth up to $36m, Samsung put the price much lower at $6.3m"

$6.3m manufacturing cost price. $36m selling price.

You 'posted' a 'letter' with Outlook... No, NO, that's the MONITOR

Peter Storm

A couple of months ago I had a call from someone in our upstairs offices. "My computer won't come back to life. I've tried moving the mouse and pressing keys but the screen just stays blank".

Once I turned his monitor back on it was just fine.

E-cigarettes help you quit – but may not keep you alive

Peter Storm

Re: 'vaping' == drug paraphernalia

Equating vaping with the use of class A drugs is ridiculous.

Completely different things, a bit like "pore" and "pour".

Tennessee bloke cuffed for attempting to shag ATM – police

Peter Storm

Perhaps he misread it

when it asked him to insert his pin...

Jupiter's Great Red Spot becoming mere pimple

Peter Storm

Re: Don't worry

The last Greenpeace person I heard on the TV was one of the ones the Russians had banged up for a while. He was going on about trying to stop them "drilling in the artic". Though why he was so worried about them drilling holes in a truck wasn't made clear.

Beam me up Scotty: Boffins to turn pure light into matter

Peter Storm

Re: Star Trek Replicators

Damn right!

I'll see you on the holodeck.

Traffic light vulns leave doors wide open to Italian Job-style hacks

Peter Storm

How true

I live just a few miles outside Bristol, It's the only place that fills me with dread at the thought of having to drive there.

Faster Macbook Air pops out: What, a NEW Apple thing and ZERO fanfare?

Peter Storm

Without any fanfare

"Without any fanfare yesterday, Cupertino started touting the new super duper lightweight 'puter."

"It comes complete with a slightly faster processor and, well, not much else."

Just a wild guess here, but maybe the second line kinda explains the lack of fanfare maybe?

OK, we get the message, Microsoft: Windows Defender splats 1000s of WinXP, Server 2k3 PCs

Peter Storm

Nod's as good as a wink

to a blind bat

Half of Twitter's 'active users' are SILENT STALKERS

Peter Storm

Only 44%?

Still, it's nice to know there's something for everyone on the interwebs.

Even those with an over inflated sense of their own importance and the sycophants who grovel before them.

HTC One M8: Reg man takes spin in Alfa Romeo of smartphone world

Peter Storm

My boss always used to have BMWs and he's a complete wanker, but this time he's got himself a Range Rover. It is a "Sport" though, so he's not really stepping out of character.

Artists install Monty Python silly walk signs in Norwegian town

Peter Storm

'Ello, Miss?

Win XP holdouts storm eBay and licence brokers, hiss: Give us all your Windows 7

Peter Storm

Re: Viruses and malware

"If you delete someone's site by accident?"

Ah, so that's what happened to the NATO site

Not so shiny shiny: MWC in a post-affluent iPhone world

Peter Storm

Re: Good point

Well I suppose we already have the Jesus phone, so I suppose this would be the Antichrist phone.

Google! and! Facebook! IDs! face! Yahoo! login! BAN!

Peter Storm

"another service other than Flickr for sharing photos"!

I would recommend having a look at ipernity.

Antarctic glacier 'melted just as fast Long before human carbon emissions'

Peter Storm

Re: Yeah, right

Yeah, those bloody weasels.

Bastards!

Samsung flings sueball at Dyson for 'intolerable' IP copycat claim

Peter Storm

Yes, but probably not for very long if it's made by Samsung

Apple’s Mac turns 30: How Steve Jobs’ baby took its first steps

Peter Storm
Trollface

A little

but then so does Linux

WHY do phone cams turn me into a clumsy twat with dexterity of an elephant?

Peter Storm

Re: Personally i think...

Have you been to many music festivals lately? A lot of the people there are way older than him, and that includes the performers too.

Sofas with a roof and Star Trek seating: The future of office furniture?

Peter Storm

cylindrical affair with clear glass panels

"that lets everyone know you’re having a meeting, but not what you’re talking about – lip reading (and laser beams picking up vibrations from the windows) notwithstanding"

Just make sure HAL isn't watching you.

TWO can play this 64-bit mobile game, says Samsung, crossly

Peter Storm

" Apple user's are not smart people"

Made my day, thanks.

Marissa Mayer in Vogue fashion shoot

Peter Storm

Re: Vogue has never been stylish

"Also, WTF is Yahoo! I've never seen it"

It's the company that bought flickr and have been doing their level best to completely fuck it up ever since.

Completely agree about Vogue btw. Utter garbage.

Apple will swap fanbois' killer phoney phone chargers for legit adapters

Peter Storm
Trollface

How true

You only have to look at Samsung gear

From Russia with no love: Prez Putin dubs Ed Snowden 'unwanted gift'

Peter Storm

Exactly,

and Putin implied just that in in his statement.

Is your Apple gadget made of human misery and eco-ruin?

Peter Storm
Trollface

I love the smell of troll bait in the morning!

Daddy-o, you're all wet... baffled by your own kids on the web - survey

Peter Storm
Facepalm

If only there were some sort of engine for searching for the meanings of all these acronyms that that these young beatniks are employing. Somewhere on the interweb that you could type these things in and with the mere press of a key, be presented with answers and meanings for all things.

Maybe in the future this will be possible.

Blind activist Chen given spyware-laden iPad and iPhone

Peter Storm
Happy

"stupid as joe public outside that relm"

Made my day.

Nokia Lumia 925: The best Windows Phone yet

Peter Storm
Happy

Twas worth reading

just for the word "dandled".

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