* Posts by TRT

9611 publicly visible posts • joined 11 Sep 2009

Techies take turns at shut-down top trumps

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Re: The problem with poorly located buttons

Indeed, in a previous life it was my job to administer the Farnsworth-Munsell 100 hue tests to patients. The professor demonstrated how he wanted it doing by administering it to me. I scored zero. The professor had never seen any untrained subject score perfectly before.

Brekkie TV host Lorraine Kelly wins IR35 ruling against HMRC, adds fuel to freelance techies' ire over tax reforms

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Re: If so...

Carpets - Carpet Tacks.

'It's full of beer!' Miracle fridge reveals itself to pals tuckered out from cleaning flooded cabin

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Re: Beer Gods must have a sense of humor

"The cans look intact... what do you reckon?"

"Pass us a tin."

*crck, ftzz*

*glug, glug, glug*

*Sputter! Cough! Choke. Gag. Retch.*

"No. That's fine. Contents appear uncontaminated."

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Re: Since when...

Bud lite is like making romantic love in a canoe, adrift in the middle of a deserted and moonlit lake. Fucking close to water and you don't want anyone else to see you doing it.

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..."we only ever indulge after 5pm"

What time does your workday start, though?

Croydon school rolling in toilet roll after Brexit gift deemed unfit for the Queen's Anus Horribilis

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Take the staples out first. Don't want to tear yourself a new one.

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I've always found it bizarre that on the front page they are frothing at the mouth to reintroduce capital punishment almost for paedophilic criminality, whereas you can turn to page 12 to see the latest exclusive pictures of a 15-year old Z-list celebrity topless sunbathing on a private beach in Ibiza.

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I find the Daily Mail a most absorbing read...

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HM The Queen?

You mean the Tenner Lady?

We don't want to be Latch key-less kids: NYC tenants sue landlords for bunging IoT 'smart' lock on their front door

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Re: No worries!

Better have insurance. Those thieves will be claiming medical expenses treating the hernia

Mayors having a right 'mare in Florida: Acting mayor arrested weeks after boss also arrested

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Re: "It seems knowledge of the NT is sadly lacking these days..."

Well, it might not be called that any more, but it's still current and an ongoing concern. Many people live by the code even if they don't realise it. The sign of the cross, although reworked many, many times throughout history, is still easily recognisable in our everyday lives. As it says in the good book... “If you can't make it good, at least make it look good.” NT 17763.379

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Re: I like the sub-head

If you go round cleaning up after cows, you deserve a pat on the head.

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Re: "He socialized with people of dubious repute,"

Yeah, but bread and fish... I mean, come on... what kind of a party was that? Dorritos and Taramasalata surely? Or maybe he just sent into the future for a hundredweight of sesame prawn toasts?

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Re: "He socialized with people of dubious repute,"

Did he also "like to party"?

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The Nanny State

What made a super high-tech home in Victorian England? Hydroelectric witchery, for starters

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Re: It's a marvelous place

It was the cod's bollocks!

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Re: It's a marvelous place

Self-cooking.

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Re: It's a marvelous place

Green Acres is the place to be... fine living in the big country!

UK libraries dumped 11% of computers since 2010-11... everybody has one anyway, right?

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Presumably the 89% left since 2010/11...

Are not the same ones. The same old hardware running the same old OS as they were in 2010/2011?

How many Reg columnists does it take to turn off a lightbulb?

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On a recent hotel visit, I plugged in the little bedside clock radio alarm... nothing lit up. Shoved sausage fingers at buttons repeatedly... not a glimmer. Gave up and unplugged the little bastard.

5:30am.... Beep beep beep beep beep right next to my fucking ear. The little arsehole clock only had a broken display. Its brief plugged in period was enough to charge the internal reserve battery. Bastard thing.

Cloud atlas: Oh dear. Now Adobe has mapped out a slowdown

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Which is a kind of a pity, because it's what I would consider one of the core software skills. The sort a lot of people acquire through infrequent use as a step to another goal. They've priced themselves out of my game - no-one is going to pay that when they don't use it that month... but the hassle of starting and stopping monthly subscriptions in a large corporate environment *IF* you haven't been forced to pay up for the whole year already... with a notional admin cost of £50 a time... not going to happen.

Sorry, Adobe, it might work for some, but it most definitely doesn't work for all, even if you insist it does. Now, it *might* work if you had billing tied into a NLM like you used to do donkey's years ago.

Never thought we'd ever utter these words, but... can anyone recommend a spin doctor for NASA?

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Rename it.

Asteroid Balkhi-Rumi

Holy sh*tsnacks! Danger zone! Edinburgh Uni's Archer 2 super 'puter will cost a cool £79m

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Re: For that money...

Scottish raspberries?

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On campus data centres...

now there's a novel idea.

Hapless engineers leave UK cable landing station gate open, couple of journos waltz right in

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I thought Daily Mail reporters dipped their quills into rivers of blood?

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Knowing the place, they'd use a scrapped dodgem car motor. There's dozens of 'em knocking around. That and tired, peeling hire boats. Come in number 9, your time is up! and all that.

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Re: Not really secret

Oh, I know the place you mean. Used to go to school near there, and I went back for a wander a couple of years ago. Yeah... not much interest really. Nothing worth nicking... now if it had been a COPPER cable, the local scrotes would have had away with it years ago.

Radio gaga: Techies fear EU directive to stop RF device tinkering will do more harm than good

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Half-arsed legislation? Is that a cheek?

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Ah, the old BT sticker...

Indeed, but the issue I was highlighting was that IF you start transmitting over the power limit for your jurisdiction, then you've already breached existing legislation, and this issue should be dealt with under that legislation. There's absolutely no need whatsoever for this particular piece of legislation. None.

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There’s already a power limit. That should prevent any widespread interference. This is just licensing the unlicensed frequencies.

What happens when security devices are insecure? Choose the nuclear option

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Re: I had one of these at the time

More that they are all in a big straight line with barely a mile between them... monkeys escape from zoo, steal tank, ram it into Winfrith Magnox reactor.

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Re: I had one of these at the time

I have to admit I was more concerned about Dorset's co-location of an atomic reactor, the National Tank Museum and Monkey World.

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Re: I had one of these at the time

A girl with a bottle of cider? This was the 80s, man. Hadn't you seen the Government Information Campaign about AIDS?

Jesus, that was a grim time. You were going to die, basically. One way or another.

Iranian-backed hackers ransacked Citrix, swiped 6TB+ of emails, docs, secrets, claims cyber-biz

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I'm trying to think of words to describe this...

But I can only come up with "Ouch! Ooooooohhhh...."

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Re: 6+ Terabytes?

Well that's 6 TehranBytes of information now...

Biker sues Google Fiber: I broke my leg, borked my ankle in trench dug to lay ad giant's pipe

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Poor specifications, wasn't it?

There they was, a-digging this hole; a hole in the ground,

so big and sort of round

And there they was, digging it deep;

flat at at the bottom, the sides were all steep.

When along comes this bloke in a bowler hat which he lifted and scratched his head.

Well we looked down the hole, poor demented soul, and he said

"Do you mind if I make a suggestion? Don't dig there, dig it elsewhere!"

"Your digging it round and it ought to be square"

"The shape of it's wrong, it's much too long"

"And you can't put hole where a hole don't belong"

I ask, what a liberty eh? Nearly bashed him right in the bowler

Well there they was, stood in the hole, shovelling earth

for all that I was worth

And there was him standing up there

So grand and all official with his nose up in the air

So I gave him a look sort of sideways

and I leaned on my shovel and sighed. I lit me a fag

and having took a drag

I replied that I just couldn't bear,

to dig it elsewhere

I'm digging it round cos I don't want it to be square

And if you disagree

it doesn't bother me

That's the place where the hole is gonna be

Well there we were, discussing this hole

A hole in the groud so big and sort of round it was

Well it's not there now, and the ground is all flat

And beneath it is the bloke in the bowler hat

And that's that

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Re: While out

"So easy to falsify the dates in the records..."

And THAT'S why we still need printed newspapers. That and fly swatting - can't do that with a 12" iPad. Well, you can, but that could be an expensive fly.

Buffer overflow flaw in British Airways in-flight entertainment systems will affect other airlines, but why try it in the air?

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I must be old fashioned...

But what kind of in-flight "Entertainment" is being able to chat to/troll the passenger in the oversized Hawaiian print muumuu sitting 4 rows back?

TalkTalk kept my email account active for 8 years after I left – now it's spamming my mates

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Re: Indefensible

Well, how else do you verify the reasonable request?

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Re: Bah!

Ha ha. Spot on.

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Re: While I'm not a fan of Talk Talk.....

I'm not sure if I prefer Sometimes to It's My Life. ... Mmm... Yes. Yes I do prefer Sometimes.

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Re: BREAKING NEWS: Talk Talk Are Rubbish

I quite liked "It's My Life".

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Re: Indefensible

Ha ha. You do realise that the Outer Circle at Stonehenge was the patch for the Y1K bug?

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Re: Indefensible

OK, I found a legal obligation to keep a record of a contract, such as supply of a service like telecommunications, made in the UK.

Section 5 of the Limitation Act 1980.

Minimum retention: for the length of the contract or agreement and 6 years afterwards.

Not 8 years... but this is a minimum.

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Re: Indefensible

"I would suggest 6 months..."

You're not quoting any legal definition here, then. Therefore you're making a judgment about reasonableness. So there IS something about reasonableness that needs or could be or will be tested in law.

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Not the mailbox, per se. Just their use of the address. Which opens some interesting possibilities.

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Re: Had a similar problem with Virgin

Virgin shuts down inactive email accounts after 6 months. Even if you are still a customer. As I found out when I reinstalled the OS and everything on my laptop and forgot to add the account in to the email client. So when I stopped checking the mailbox they closed it off with no possibility of reactivating it. And why is that important? It's the address I had nominated for various service and account announcements which suddenly became important when they did something I didn't like and was told "well... we DID warn you." When I went back to check... yup... no access.

Unless you want your wine bar to look like a brothel, purple curtains are a no-no apparently

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Mr Gilbert and his partner Mr Sullivan, perhaps?

But why restrict yourselves to indoor shenanigans?

I heard the minx remark,

She’d meet him after dark,

Inside St. James’s Park,

And give him one!

And then all down to Penzance:

Alas! there’s not one maiden breast

Which seems to feel the moral beauty

Of making worldly interest

Subordinate to sense of duty!