* Posts by TRT

9611 publicly visible posts • joined 11 Sep 2009

Sea of outrage after 'migrant-spotting app' turned out to be bogus

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Re: Call me cinical if you like

as the Farage flotilla heads out to sea...

Microsoft cancels Remain speech after death of Labour MP

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Genuine LOL there.

"El Reg contacted both the Remain and Leave camps for comment, but suspect neither set were able to hear email alert pings above all the bullshit they are talking."

How's your driving, Elon? Musk tweets that Tesla Model S 'floats'

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Re: Needed feature...

interesting point... If the LIDAR or road marking recognition camera can't SEE the road surface due to water or snow or leaves, or mistakes the road for a river...

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Major Tim Peake comes home to a gastronaut's Sunday roast

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Misread this...

"Peake will spend the next week undergoing tests to ascertain the impact on his body of living in space, and getting used to gravity again." as "... getting used to gravy again."

Filet-O-Phish: Insecure NFC tag relics hidden under Maccas tables

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Could be any food outlet really.

Like Harry Ramsden's. But you'd be expecting phish and chips there.

BOFH: Follow the paper trail

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Re: "black A4 photocopy paper"

We used to do this. You put a sheet of impression foil over the printed paper and re-melt the toner in a heated press before peeling the impression foil off.

Swede who spent 28 years vacuuming in the nude to be evicted

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5 hours a day vacuuming??!!!

You see what happens when the EU says you can't have a high powered vacuum cleaner?

Cats understand the laws of physics, researchers claim

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Re: Missing variant

Disappearing treats

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Re: Thirty cats participated in the experiment and none were harmed

I HAZ UNDERSTANDING OF IRON BALLZ. I PREFER TO DIG MY CLAWS INTO MEAT ONES.

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Re: What's the difference between "understanding" and ...

none at all.

Man dies after UK police Taser shooting

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Re: Taser cartridges ...

These things have a shelf-life?

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Re: Moderator comment

If the man had offered less resistance, then the current would have been higher.

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Re: Location Location Location

Tasered bollocks? I think I'd rather the chest and risk it.

UberEats into food delivery with new app launch in London

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Uber To Go!!!

Or Uber Allez, in translation.

Oops.

Lester Haines: RIP

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Can we do something about the sponsored thing at the bottom of the article, please?

Not in the best taste.

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I'm guessing this is for real...

No humorous social engineering demonstration? Sad news indeed. Top vulture. Condolences to the family. :(

Voter registration site collapse proves genius of GDS, says minister

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Re: within two hours we knew exactly what was wrong

If they could get the knowing part down into negative values, say by using predictive demand analysis, and then scaling up the resources automatically by, say, spawning temporary VMs, they might avoid things going TITSUP in the first place making "data-driven policymaking" (*shudder*) for routine matters unnecessary.

Virgin Media goes TITSUP* in South London due to painful piles

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Re: Not just Virgin....

Inefficiencies, dear boy. Have to keep the vice-chancellor in champagne and Armani... can't afford to support redundant links.

Boffins decipher manual for 2,000-year-old Ancient Greek computer

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Prototype?

Now according to this we should be... at least 1200 yards away from Antikythera's underwater rock of doom. See? *rubbing hands* Oh ho! This is going to revolutionise maritime navigation. This time next year Rhodes.

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Was it made from fresh vegetarians?

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Re: "almost two millennia under water..."

They chucked it overboard as the cost of getting it repaired at an authorised centre...

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Re: Its the first EULA

Ah, the voyage of EULAscees

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Re: Don't forget Asterix, he held out against the Romans

And his mate Hashtag

Wales gives anti-vaping Blockleiters a Big Red Panic Button

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Re: Vaping is harmless

@MJI. Personally, I'm worried about the construction of the heating element. There are some studies that show it can release nano-particles of metal into the vapour stream, and there are other studies which show the damage that these nano-particles can do to neuronal cells. Of course, the same can be said for internal combustion engine exhaust, and a dozen other environmental pollutants, but it's a game that only time will tell. I know they are far less harmful than tobacco, or at the very least equally harmful but in a different way. I don't smoke or vape. If I did vape, I'd be using one that has the element enclosed in a ceramic capsule.

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Re: Vaping is harmless

Mostly harmless?

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Hooked up...

to the sprinkler system?

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Re: Anonymous? Really?

Like this?

The Microsoft-LinkedIn hookup will be the END of DAYS, I tell you

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Re: So that'll be another profile to delete then

I was more making the point...

"Why should we employ you?"

"My IT skills are the best in the business."

"We... err... we couldn't find any trace of you on the web. HR likes to do a bit of background research on prospective employees. No Skype, no Twitter, no Facebook, no CV on Monster, not even a LinkedIN profile."

*confident shrug* "Like I said..."

"You're HIRED!"

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Re: So that'll be another profile to delete then

I'm not pro LinkedIN, btw. Very much anti.

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So that'll be another profile to delete then

Good luck. If you are successful you will have demonstrated your superior IT skills. Pity nobody will know about them.

Apple WWDC: OS X is dead, long live macOS

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Re: So, no revolutions in sight then

Force change... the function of the green button. Force change... the loss of skewymorphics. Force change... reversing the scroll direction (OK, this one does have a preference switch, but still the default is to reverse it).

Need I go on?

In obesity fight, UK’s heavy-handed soda tax beats US' watered-down warning

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Refined? A by-product of fermentation of sugars.

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IT Angle

Apart from caffeine loading...

I'm not sure on the IT angle here.

Bendy see-thru mobes? Materials scientists make nanofilm advance

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The fibre shoots out like a rapidly coiling noodle

Touched by the breath of FSM.

Microsoft buys LinkedIn for the price of 36 Instagrams

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The day I'll delete my account...

You'll be lucky. Deleting a LinkedIN account is one of the labours of Hercules. Like avoiding a Windows 10 upgrade. That might be why they've bought it - they're after the technology behind LinkedIN's account deletion process.

Thief dresses as Apple Store drone, walks off with $16,000 in iGear

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The phones do have serial numbers which IIRC cannot be changed like the IMEI

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Re: It's 2016, why are people still not thinking things through....

But they guy was genuine. He had an Apple t-shirt and everything.

PC market sinking even faster than first thought, thanks to Windows 10

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"because lots of people are availing themselves of free Windows 10 upgrades"

Really? That's a brave new definition of availing.

Latest Windows 10 build loves up cloud, banishes 'strange grey bar'

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I didn't down vote you but I expect it's possible to fix the WiFi card issue, especially if you have a wired connection. I always offer it to the people who come to me complaining about a malicious Windows 10 upgrade that's broken their WiFi. Invariably they've said "No, just roll it back to Windows 7".

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Re: Still... Won't....Install....

Curious move considering that today the 21st laptop to auto-install Windows 10 and completely fail to get WiFi back (driver issues - device missing) crossed my desk.

If The Register made reality music TV, this is what it would look like

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Re: I missed the original...

Neo as in there at the beginning. Or is that proto?

Anyway, scrap that.

Axl's Buns and Roses. In which he visits traditional village tea rooms and bakeries.

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I missed the original...

I'd have gone for "Top of the Clash"... a sort of University Challenge crossed with Wipeout challenge that sees schools compete in regional heats before a national final. A sort of team based Krypton factor for 12-16 year olds. Fronted by neopunk rock band The Clash

McDonald's says bigger fonts cooked up improved profits

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Re: Really? Fonts?

They measure the type size in ems. Emmmmm... does that come with regular fries? I can't quite make out the small print.

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Re: Happy Meal

Not sure, they'd cut the end off and flatten the rectum out to make the burger, no? Anyway, whatever they do with the cut off sphincters, I'm not ordering the onion rings.

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Re: Happy Meal

Yum! Rectum burger.

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Re: Really? Fonts?

You ruin far fewer orders when you can read the special requests through your hot-fat-spatter-scarred corneas.

US military tests massive GPS jamming weapon over California

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Re: What kind of aircraft relies on GPS alone?

Treat your aircraft like your woman. Get inside her five times a day and take her to heaven and back. Woof!

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Re: Not a TOTAL surprise

Not fifty miles inside Chinese territorial waters?

Welcome to the jumbo: Axl Rose tries to take a bite out of 'Fat Axl' internet meme

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Re: It finally happened. The Register goes full-SJW...

You can wrap fat people in cotton wool all you like, but all that will happen is that you'll run out of cotton wool and they'll sweat the weight off.