* Posts by TRT

9611 publicly visible posts • joined 11 Sep 2009

Violence, vandals and vomit: London's naughtiest tech Tube stations revealed

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Re: SPADs, TDFs, what a cornucopia for disaster

That's true, yes. It's classed as an authorised SPAD. I don't know if that's recorded in the data. They had a huge spate of them on the Northern Line in 2010 I think it was when the depot could no longer get hold of the rope they used to use which tied the tripcock lever to the rest of the systems - they used a close replacement which was fractionally thicker and jammed in the holes that the rope ran through, leading to endless problems resetting the circuit. Somehow, I have more faith in a bit of grease-soaked rope tied to a vacuum release valve than in a couple of relays and a solenoid wired up to a PLA. I don't know why - it just feels more immediate.

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Re: SPADs, TDFs, what a cornucopia for disaster

I'm surprised that's such a low figure. But good that you checked. Thanks.

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FAIL

Re: Blown bulbs?

Classic FAIL!

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Re: Blown bulbs?

They'll be swapping them for TBTC at some point. On the Northern Line that's the pair of big red leaky feeders between the rails that swaps sides every 25m. The swapping of the cables is what's detected by the onboard computer. Coupled with unique positioning beacons every now and again, and counters which detect the number of axles passing a sensor - usually at pointwork where they count up on one side entering a section and count down again on the other leaving the section; the normal reading being zero - the system knows to within 25m the position of every train on the track. Add in a braking profile curve and a motoring profile curve (I believe they now do coasting as well, but the option was originally left off due to cost) and trains can run much closer together. The system on the Central Line fails if it's raining, foggy, windy or if the day ends in a Y, so drivers are usually operating in one of the manual modes. The Northern Line is a bit more reliable, but the drivers still take the trains in and out of the sidings on manual. The DLR is fully automated, though, even in the depot.

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Re: SPADs, TDFs, what a cornucopia for disaster

I bet most of the SPADs were in the depots. And the old red light, block signalling system does have a tripcock just in front of the aspect which automatically applies the emergency brakes if the front of a train passes it.

The system does "fail safe" - the most common track detection fault is a drinks can falling into the gap in the rails which marks one signalling block from another. Fixed block is a rather simple system that passes a current through the axle of the train via the wheels - so anything on the rails in that block is detected - car, train, big clips joined by a wire... and then there's the traction current short-circuit system, which kills the power if there's a short. There's a big bar that staff stick across the supply rails to make an area safe - huge red light on the the top if there's even a whiff of voltage. Makes a lovely bang as it's dropped on - not a job I'd like to do!

Ready for a nostalgia kick? Usborne has put its old computer books on the web for free

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Re: I remember these books well

I have a couple of the BBC micro books somewhere. Is it the BASIC manual and was there an Advanced book? Red and green for the first and yellow and blue for the second? Anyway, wire bound doorstops, they were, and so intricate. Really tied together the code and what was actually happening inside the chips themselves.

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Re: The curse of having an Amstrad

Ah yes. I vaguely remember having to Dimension arrays at some point in the past. How lazy we've become.

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Re: Who owns Resi and Transi?

I know what needs to go online - all those old The 555 Timer Cookbook and The 741 Op Amp Cookbook things. Tiny little printed on bog-paper books that you could get from Tandy - was it Roger Penfold who authored them? Anyway, brilliant little books on just about any electronic standard IC. IIRC they had a punched hole in one corner for some reason.

Eye of Sauron-themed trojan targets Russia, Sweden

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Are you sure it's state-sponsored?

Or are the coders just hobbitists?

The developer died 14 years ago, here's a print out of his source code

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Re: Doesn't add up

You can bake a HDD by spinning it constantly. Those suckers get real hot.They need ventilation, and a rest. And heatsinking into the chassis helps - rubber anti-vibration mounts are a good idea, and a bad idea at the same time.

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Re: Doesn't add up

Well, we've all been there. Taking a look at something because it piques your interest, and then you open up a whole big can of worms. I've been in a similar position recently with "taking a look at" an electric gate motor, which revealed a faulty door intercom, which revealed a ground fault with the external lighting system, which revealed an almost overloaded lighting design, which revealed a whole pile of defective outdoor SELV transformers, which revealed a rodent with a liking for PVC... and so on. Until you end up doing 13 hour days for a couple of hundred quid, which you've blown buying the esoteric tool you needed to fix one of the faults.

Bimodal IT: Let the backlash begin

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Hm. I've yet to get into it, but it looks to me, given the variety of wheels out there that every particular instance of a wheel being needed they do indeed reinvent it to fit that application. They certainly don't hammer a prototypical wheel onto something just because. And as for the Deming Cycle... I prefer organic.

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Sounds a little like my response when I had ITIL explained to me.

"Ah yes, sounds like someone's making money selling common sense again."

Render crashing PCs back to their component silicon: They deserve it

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If you look in the hardware block logic diagram of any IT device...

You'll note the absence of a particular chip which can be found on the motherboard. The undocumented component is known as the Criticality of User Need Threshold Supervisor circuit. It is vital for the smooth operation of the device that this circuit is operating correctly. The purpose of this supervisor is to monitor just how critical the operation of the device is at any particular moment. It does this through the use of a low level psychic proximity field, which will pick up on the anxiety of any human operator in the vicinity (it's for this reason that many data centres are located in the middle of, say, a swamp where no human in their right mind would ever venture). It was originally intended to prevent catastrophic failure of vital IT, much as the infinite improbability field was intended to prevent system failures on board the Starship Titanic, however a small slip up in the logic circuit which has never been satisfactorily resolved creates the effect of a NOT gate on the output. In short, the more vital it is that the computer works correctly, the more like it is that the CUNTS not going to work. It's an interesting fact that 99.99999% of both users and technicians are unaware of the existence of the chip, but due to the tiny amount of residual back-leakage from the psychic field, it often surprises the 0.00001% of people who do know about the device that the affected user is able to pinpoint the root cause of the defect when reporting an issue. "The cunts not working again.", they will say, and of course they are right. "I'm going to get a new computer because this cunts so unreliable." Is often the sensible resolution to the issue. The user's slight mistrust of their new system will be sufficient to prevent them trusting their new acquisition with anything vital for quite some time. However as soon as their familiarity with what is initially an ultra-reliable computer starts to breed contempt, manifesting as a failure to perform such practices as hourly backups, providing multiple levels of redundancy and superstitious rituals, such as always kissing the index finger whilst saying a silent prayer to Tyche before using that blessed finger to depress the startup button, then the CUNTS going to fail again, just like the last one.

West country cops ponder appearance of 40 dead pigeons on A35

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In the world of printing...

you can examine the linear spacing of a recurrent defect (in the direction of paper travel) to determine the diameter of the defective component (usually there's a table). Presumably at a spacing of exactly 100 yards, they would be looking for a wheel of diameter ~1100 inches. That's a big truck.

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You mean...

Poke Mingo?

Crocodile well-done-dee: Downed Down Under chap roasted by exploding iPhone

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Re: Looking on the plus side...

Ah, yes, I remember the Charcoal Apple OS interface. After all, it's just a UI skin.

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Re: Ouch!

Another reason to avoid Lycra Mobile.

Cognitive computing: IBM uses phase-change material to model your brain's neurons

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The key to learning isn't...

in the axons, but in the cell bodies / dendrites. Dendritic pruning and activity dependent synaptic modulation is more important. But this is a huge step forwards, nonetheless.

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Re: 10^8 nanoseconds?

Ha! I reckon it's just them working in units they are comfortable with.

F-35 targeting system laser will be 'almost impossible' to use in UK

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33km ban...

on optic devices? So not near the pub, then?

Server vendor has special help desk for lying, incompetent sysadmins

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Re: I've just had a document delivered...

Apparently ITIL is a thing. Like a Investors In People and Project Management PRINCE thing. Never heard of it. Not good to assume people will know what you're on about. Anyway, long and short of it, is somebody is selling "common sense" again.

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Re: I've just had a document delivered...

It seems our Problem Management manager also reads El Reg.

Defining a problem as being the "underlying cause of an incident" (1) isn't helpful and (2) in the event of the incident being "I can't get my iPhone to connect to Eduroam" defines the End User as the problem.

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I've just had a document delivered...

from our Problem Management manager, who says it's going into the induction pack for new staff. It includes the line "Problem Management is a process within the IT Infrastructure Library (ITIL) Service Operation lifecycle stage."

Which is undoubtably wins the prize for the biggest pile of wank used to mean "This is something we do" ever.

What's long, hard and full of seamen? The USS Harvey Milk

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Re: Five-inch Naval Gun...

The missus was very upset at the mess in the kitchen when she asked me to shell some peas.

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Re: I am struggling to understand...

Also pointing out media ignorance. Especially if appeared online.

Give .gay to the gays, roars exiting ombudsman

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Re: @kain

.darwin is probably blocked already. Poor Australians.

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I only read this article...

because I'm .gay curious. Or is that .bi? What about .lgbtq? Or should sexual preference / gender identity on the net reflect societal aims and be no more worthy of comment / distinction than which tennis player you follow or what flavour yoghurt you like? In fact, I demand .vanillayoghurt be a top level domain specifically for us vanilla yoghurt lovers.

Windows 10 pain: Reg man has 75 per cent upgrade failure rate

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Contrary to the article...

I've found a great number of very old and unusual systems will take the upgrade. I've handled at least 30 surprise upgrades. Admittedly 50% of the laptops failed to get WiFi connectivity after the upgrade and they had to be rolled back. And one of those failed to roll back, still giving me grief, actually. The roll backs I have done are because the users didn't want W10. Of the desktops, only two failed on hardware compatibility. So I'd say it's more of a 55-60% failure rate.

What's ordered in Vegas, doesn't stay in Vegas? $6.7m of printer ink 'stolen by office worker'

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Re: "...printer ink worth $6,715,531..."

Filled up her thermos?

UK govt to launch a tech creche for military-focused startups

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Put down the weapon...

You have 10 seconds to comply.

9...

8...

Avoiding Liverpool was the aim: All aboard the world's ONLY moving aqueduct

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Oh Jesus! I'd forgotten Warburton Bridge. Been over it a few times, quite often on my bike, and once in the car when I was keeping off the motorway (I was running on a space saver after a blowout near Tabley).

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Chips

So THAT'S why they were so good. I never realised. #hungershutters

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And don't forget the tar tunnel and clay pipe museum. Clay pipes are essential boffin material.

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I could have written that!

And a little way further is the bridge at Old Trafford which when crossing, as a 5 year old, I decided to shoulder barge the rotten wooden door at the base of the pier, as 5 year old idiot children are prone to do. The door swung open, taking me with it, opening onto nothing but rusty iron metalwork sticking up out of inky, oily depths of water far below. Hanging onto the door handle for all my life was worth I had no option but to swing out and back. I've been terrified of bridges crossing water ever since. Took all my nerve and several attempts before I could walk on the pier at Brighton.

Milk IN the teapot: Innovation or abomination?

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Pint

Re: dear god what are we teaching the kids?

Beer glasses are for beers.

How many times do I have to tell you? The right tool for the right job, laddie!

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Re: Easy solution (Black Bush)

Paddy.

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Re: Easy solution

A drop of water helps release the aromas of a good single malt.

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WTF?

That's disgusting. Only acceptable tea that can be poured with milk added already is flask tea.

The best tea is leaf tea, using water drawn from the tender and boiled in a pot on the boilerplate next to the firebox, the leaves having been spun down and out through centrifugal force by swinging the pot on a rope out of the side of the cab on the long stretch between Crewe and Derby where there isn't any lineside to foul the can.

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Pint

Re: dear god what are we teaching the kids?

Then pour out the contents, rinse the glass in water, decreasing the water temperature until it is ice cold and then refill with beer.

Ditch your Macs, Dell tells EMC staff

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Re: Show, don't just tell

I just did a little moonlighting job tidying up the cables behind someone's Home Entertainment system because they were having an argument with the cleaner over them not sweeping under the spaghetti (yeah, he's a bit of an arsehole). Anyway, they'd spent £9k down at the Sony shop back in 2010, DVD player, top-of-the-line 5+1 Home Cinema amp & mahoosive speakers, big plasma screen job.

I had to ask him who he'd pissed off down there, because the amp had never been wired in at all and the speaker cables had not a single clamp or screw mark on them.

"You didn't notice that your £9k surround sound system sounded like an couple of earbuds sat in coffee cans?"

"No, the guy from the shop told me it was all good to go."

"And the fact that the remote volume control didn't move the knob on the amplifier?"

"Is it supposed to do that?"

"And that the scary bits in Aliens you didn't hear the slavering beasties sneaking up on you from behind and breathing down your neck?"

"I don't watch those kinds of films. I just watch the news mainly, and the wife watches the odd Bollywood."

*facepalm*

*realisation... money to burn*

"Well, it's all working now. That'll be £500 please."

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Macs are a great little number for versatility. Unix based OS, runs Virtualbox for Windows or other UNIX flavours, lightweight, good battery life. Pity they cost so much, but it's not as gross as people like to make out.

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Re: Common Sense...

They won't let me have a logo on my company polo shirt. But then I work for City University Network Team.

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Re: apple only? (@Nate Amsden)

Dell do a nice line in penguin based machines...

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Re: Dude!!

Sounds like my place of work.

Cyberpunks might not be crooks but they're really very rude

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King Cnut? Is he the one who tried to tell C++ to rollback?

So apparently it's System Administrator Appreciation Day...

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So apparently it's System Administrator Appreciation Day...

... and a company called Sophos have made this AMAZING video in honor of all the hard work people in IT do. Enjoy! #justanotherdayinit

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPuoDYBBLPQ

Has anyone told BOFH?

Tesla autopilot driver 'was speeding' moments before death – prelim report

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They can tell the driver didn't see the truck...

because of the lack of skid marks.

Church organist nabbed for playing glory hole in excelsis

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IT angle...

something about fat pipes?

Cats, dogs starve as web-connected chow chute PetNet plays dead

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Re: yet another SciFi plot made real

Yeah, that's one service call I don't want to make.