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* Posts by Daniel von Asmuth

574 posts • joined 19 Aug 2009

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The internet is going to hell and its creators want your help fixing it

Daniel von Asmuth
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Big Brother

The PCI

Regheads will assume that I mean the Peripheral Component interconnect from Intel, when it could also be the Partita Communista Italiano.

I would say that the world seems to be going to hell, just like it usually does. Whose advice would you rather follow, Jesus Christ, the Dalai Lama, Bill & Melinda Gates, Marx or May?

Half of all the good guys and the bad guys are now online, just like we hoped hey would. That the Internet is a den of thieves, fake news, peddlers of religion and viagra should come as no suprise. Most of the threat to tthe net comes from politicians and do-gooders who would clean the webs.

For fax sake: NHS to be banned from buying archaic copy-flingers

Daniel von Asmuth
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Boffin

Re: Ban a system that works and is malware free*...

Some political decisions cost human lives.

And the next 7nm laptop processor will be designed by In, er, AM, um, Qualcomm: The 64-bit Arm Snapdragon 8CX

Daniel von Asmuth
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Coat

Re: CX

Cellular eXtension?

Shall we have AI judging UK court cases? Top beak ponders the future

Daniel von Asmuth
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Re: Artificial Intelligence?

The 17th Century was the apex of the modern era. The start date of the postmodern era is disputed; I wouuld suggest around 1970.

Daniel von Asmuth
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Who needs justice anyway?

Court cases can be decided with Divine Intelligence, such as tossing a sterling coin. Heads up, the defendant hangs, tails, he is not guilty.

Naked women cleaning biz smashes patriarchy by introducing naked bloke gardening service

Daniel von Asmuth
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Paris Hilton

Re: Let the comments begin...

How practical is nudity in the scorching Aussie summer sun?

US told to quit sharing data with human rights-violating surveillance regime. Which one, you ask? That'd be the UK

Daniel von Asmuth
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Facepalm

Re: I couldn't help wondering...

Hear Hear. Today Albion stands accused of non-compliance with EU law, come April Fools Day it may have left the Contintental Communautarity altogether.

Great Scott! Is nothing sacred? US movie-goers vote Back To The Future as most-wanted reboot

Daniel von Asmuth
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Linux

what the people want

What? No sequels to Mickey Mouse or Donald Duck cartoons?!

Microsoft slips ads into Windows 10 Mail client – then U-turns so hard, it warps fabric of reality

Daniel von Asmuth
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Windows

Re: Got Linux?

OpenVMS or Multics, that's the question.

Daniel von Asmuth
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Trollface

Re: "There are plenty of good freeware email clients out there."

There are Elm and Mutt. How many more do you need.

Daniel von Asmuth
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Megaphone

Re: WTF?

Isn't it time for the used to start a union and demand better pay?

France: Let's make the internet safer. America, Russia, China: Let's go with 'no' on that

Daniel von Asmuth
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Mushroom

Re: Strange bedfellows here...

Russia, China and America are still the superpowers and more or less at war with each other, so some rules for cyberwarfare would come in handy, such as a rule not to damage routers in neutral countries and not to cause to blow up nuclear reactors.

Windows XP? Pfff! Parts of the Royal Navy are running Win ME

Daniel von Asmuth
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Pirate

What surprises me is that somewhere there's an installation of Windows ME that "works".

The Rovyal Navy sank the mighty German U-boot fleet and the Spanish Armada. Apparently they also conquered ME and MacIntosh.

"almost nobody has access to the ship’s CD/DVD-RW drives"

I wonder to how many knots those drives propel her forward.

Astroboffins spot one of the oldest, coolest stars in the universe lurking in the Milky Way

Daniel von Asmuth
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Headmaster

Re: Hydrogen is a *good* coolant

It makes a difference if those intergalactic gas clouds consist of atomic or molecular hydrogen. I suspect the former to make a poor coolant - lacking vibration and rotation.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interstellar_cloud

Stairway to edam: Swiss bloke blasts roquefort his cheese, thinks Led Zep might make it tastier

Daniel von Asmuth
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Pint

Parma Chameleon - Penicillium Culture Club

Major Tomme (A Cheese Orgy) - David Browie

In the Rocquefort-free World - Neil Young

Mything the point: The AI renaissance is simply expensive hardware and PR thrown at an old idea

Daniel von Asmuth
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Pint

A lean, mean machine that nobody understands

That would do nothing useful, but people might vote it into the White House.

Which scientist should be on the new £50 note? El Reg weighs in – and you should vote, too

Daniel von Asmuth
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Pirate

Re: Your non-Brits wouldn't qualify

Discrimination! Just because James Clerk Maxwell was born in Scotland! he still tops those britons (except Newton).

Daniel von Asmuth
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Holmes

Re: A logical choice...

Bertr& Russell \/ nobody.

Heart Internet stops beating, starts Monday with big portion of FAIL

Daniel von Asmuth
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The blitz was worse

Parts of the Internet are still working - even the Register website is accessible from Europe.

In memoriam: See you in Valhalla, Skype Classic. Version 8 can never replace you

Daniel von Asmuth
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Windows

Re: A new graveyard?

There have been rumuors of Microsoft embracing open Source and even GNU/Linux. Redmond might show its love by opening the source for Skype Classic.

PortSmash attack blasts hole in Intel's Hyper-Threading CPUs, leaves with secret crypto keys

Daniel von Asmuth
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Boffin

A hyped threat

One gets the impression that this problem can be avoided by modifying the OS scheduler such that if it allocates two threads to a core, those threads must belong to the same process. That would also be nicer for the cache.

Now Europe wants a four-million-quid AI-powered lie detector at border checkpoints

Daniel von Asmuth
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Coat

£ 1 goes far enough

You can take a coin, toss it towards the heavens and if it falls back onto the earth with its head up, the refugee may enter the Euil Empire, tails tell (s)he will be taken to the throne of Trump.

Cray's pre-exascale Shasta supercomputer gets energy research boffins hot under collar

Daniel von Asmuth
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Boffin

Re: Super Cooled Rush

National Energy Research Department buys A.I. supercomputer that will research its own energy consumption.

Far Cray? Yes, we can make America great hot jungle again.

Apple breathes new life into MacBook Air with overhauled 2018 model

Daniel von Asmuth
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Boffin

Re: What's 2.7 lbs in real money?

£ 2.70 = $ 3.43 (at today's exchange rates)

Daniel von Asmuth
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Gimp

Re: Well it will look so stylish...

Apple MacBook FreshAir ProBlemo - sounds cool!

Yer a solicitor, 'arry! Indian uni takes cues from 'Potterverse' to teach students law

Daniel von Asmuth
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Facepalm

Justice and law according to JKR

“Are you planning to follow a career in Magical Law, Miss Granger?” asked Scrimgeour.

“No, I’m not,” retorted Hermione. “I’m hoping to do some good in the world!”

Excuse me, but have you heard the teachings of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Chr-AI-st?

Daniel von Asmuth
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Angel

Re: Accuracy

Holy Computer! We can only assume the inventors not only put their AI through not just rigorous Turing and IQ tests and university exams, but also ascertained that its soul was in a state of grace and if it could *accurately* communicate with the Lord of Hosts through prayer.

SQLite creator crucified after code of conduct warns devs to love God, and not kill, commit adultery, steal, curse...

Daniel von Asmuth
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Angel

Nobody expects the spanish inquisition!

" the governments also controlled the religion"

Actually, no. Many rulers of yore have controlled religions to increase their power, sometimes claiming divinity for themselves.

"There is only one religion that can be interpreted as calling for the takeover of all the Earth by whatever means necessary. "

Yes, that is the God of Moses, Abraham, Jesus & Mohammed. Popes were the only religious leaders to control governments, instead of the other way around.

UK.gov should spend more on AI, bleat VCs and consultants. Oh? Why's that then?

Daniel von Asmuth
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Headmaster

The UK should spend more on higher education

There are millions of young smartphones who want to pursue their deep machine learning.

P.S. I apologise for the way our Majesty has chastised the British people and their elected government for their plans to exit the theatre called EU.

F***=off, Google tells its staff: Any mention of nookie now banned from internal files, URLs

Daniel von Asmuth
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WTF?

Re: Im sure theres only one reason why a tourist would visit that town...

"What about the people who live in Sussex? or Essex or any of the US States that have a Sussex County or Middlesex County or Essex County?"

What about Sexbierum in Friesland?

Google's motto used to be "do no evil"; is "make money, not love'"an improvement?

Apple to dump Intel CPUs from Macs for Arm – yup, the rumor that just won't die is back

Daniel von Asmuth
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Re: Same trick, new pony

The IBM 801 is supposed to have been the first RISC processor, back in 1980.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IBM_801

Daniel von Asmuth
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Facepalm

Re: Worth the RISC

Porcessor architecture stopped mattering around 1995. The future is in application-specific chip designs and coprocessors.

Daniel von Asmuth
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Re: @AC...Stop Press!

"There are a lot of things that the Mac gets right."

Let's guess: CISC processors, lots of RAM, SCSI discs, Apple Desktop Bus, Ethertalk port, VGA display, Postscript Laserjet, NuBus. Apple got a few things right (including firing Jobs), but SUN did them better.

Daniel von Asmuth
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Gimp

Re: Stop Press!

I'm half expecting Apple to drop the MacIntosh family of microcomputers. Switching from Intel to ARM may be a good idea today,, but by 2020, Intel's new 7 nm EUV process will make Chipzilla great again.

Microsoft points to a golden future where you can make Windows 10 your own

Daniel von Asmuth
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Headmaster

Re: What about the stuff that the EU doesn't want?

Does this Windows still come with the mandatory screen where the luser can choose whether to install Opera, Firefox, Chrome, or Edge Explorer?

Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella is worth 154 median minions

Daniel von Asmuth
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Boffin

1 Nadella = 154 µserfs

It was computed by Excel, therefore it must be true.

Microsoft reveals xlang: Cross-language, cross-compiler and coming to a platform near you

Daniel von Asmuth
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Windows

Only Microsoft can kill Windows (Win32)

Once upon a time on the far shore of the ocean, there was PC-DOS and it was hand-crufted in glorious assembly language. Then came Win16, which supported C and Pascal, Followed by Win32 and Win64, which mostly supported C. Like Prince Charles, Windows .NET and C# are the designated successor in waiting (or was that Midori?), and now in the name of ESR, Redmond wants you to switch to C++ anda new OS API. (where is the documentation for the NT kernel?)

Microsoft has signed up to the Open Invention Network. We repeat. Microsoft has signed up to the OIN

Daniel von Asmuth
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Linux

Does that mean?

Does that mean that Microsoft Corporation and its business partners, including but not limited to the SCO Group, will stop prosecuting Linux users (expecially corporate entities) for real or presumed violation of their many patents?

Microsoft yanks the document-destroying Windows 10 October 2018 Update

Daniel von Asmuth
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Facepalm

find out what the recovery process is going to be

Thank Gates you only have to press <ctrl-z> to undo the update.

The secret history of Apple's Stacks

Daniel von Asmuth
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Gimp

home screen? root window!

Oh, if any one anything lacks, he'll find it all ready in Hypercard stacks

[Gilbert and Sullivan]

On the third day of Windows Microsoft gave to me: A file-munching run of DELTREE

Daniel von Asmuth
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Windows

Re: This is affecting the enthusiasts ...

Windows enthusiasts, you rarely get to meet one in the flesh. Guess this goes to show that if your Windows 10 is running half decently, you should never change its software.

China's going to make a mobile OS and everyone will love it, predict ball-gazing analysts

Daniel von Asmuth
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Holmes

Re: "...predict ball-gazing analysts"

It's only natural that the Middel Kingdom (and we don't mean Middle Earth) should endeavour a mobile OS after trying their hands on alternatives for Windows and Linux.

La doona è mobile - Woman is fickle

[Verdi]

New Zealand border cops warn travelers that without handing over electronic passwords 'You shall not pass!'

Daniel von Asmuth
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Happy

Re: Have fun!

So they keep you in custody for 360 days and then put you on a plane back to where you came from.

Daniel von Asmuth
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Facepalm

Re: NZ are now the Lord of the Rings

You don't want to bring laptops or cell phones anyway. It's just that I don't want to hand over the password to my e-cigarettes.

Haven't updated your Adobe PDF software lately? Here's 85 new reasons to do it now

Daniel von Asmuth
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Facepalm

dozens of new holes patched

I suppose new holes means bugs that are not present in older versions of Acrobat Reader.

Robot Operating System gets the Microsoft treatment

Daniel von Asmuth
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Happy

Re: Recycle

Windows 10 for Fall Creators -> Windows 10 for Bots

New theory: The space alien origins of vital bio-blueprints for dinosaurs. And cats. And humans. And everything else

Daniel von Asmuth
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phopshine

phopshine sounds like the name of a photoshop plug-in that makes your pictures shine.

We understand that the earth's atmosphere used to be reducing in the olden days, before photosyntheseis liberated lots of molecular oxygen (O2) that would readily react with any phosphine (PH3) our there to produce phosphates (H3PO4).

Bombing raids during WWII sent out shockwaves powerful enough to alter the Earth's ionosphere

Daniel von Asmuth
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Boffin

Think positive

After all those negative electrons were blasted from the ionosphere into space, our planet must have gotten positively charged.

Trump's axing of cyber czar role has left gaping holes in US defence

Daniel von Asmuth
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Re: Trump to Putin

"Do you have any officers who would make a good cyber czar for my great nation of America?"

30-up: You know what? Those really weren't the days

Daniel von Asmuth
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Proceeding from personal experience, exactly as one never should

Well, statisticallty speaking, the chance for a lady to encounter a company with a 2:3 female-to-maile programmer ratiio is somewhat euqal to a lad's chances to end up in a shop with a 1:30 female-to-male ratio.

There is a female-run software company in our lowly country, but when appearing on tv they still used gus to do the actual tech stuff.

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