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* Posts by Arthur the cat

793 posts • joined 18 Aug 2009

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Church of England will commune with God for you via Amazon's Echo

Arthur the cat
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Re: Makes sense....

BBC Radio 4 has too much religion in its schedules: …

"Something Understood"

Not so much religion, more aimless "spiritual" wittering that makes Thought for the Day seem like incisive theological philosophy.

"Bells on Sunday"

They may do it in church, but in my experience your average bell ringer is rarely described as "godly".

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Arthur the cat
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Boffin

Re: Somewhat baffling

Like does God work in binary or trinary?

As the Blessed Knuth said(*), in some ways the most efficient base for a computer would be e, which would mean even computers would work in a mysterious way(**).

(*) Somewhere in TAoCP IIRC.

(**) Although floating point would automatically be supported by the architecture.

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Arthur the cat
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Re: "Alexa, is there a God?

She believes that her god makes my garden bloom with flowers.

Many years and jobs ago one of our junior programmers was a born again Christian, but management had to tell him to tone it down a bit because everyone round him got sick of him thanking God by praying out loud every time his code compiled. He wasn't that bad a programmer.

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Hold on. Here's an idea. Let's force AI bots to identify themselves as automatons, says Cali

Arthur the cat
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Trollface

Identity politics

What if the bot self identifies as human?

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Swiss sausage sizzler 4.0 hits 200 bangers per hour

Arthur the cat
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Re: Judging by the mugshot I'd say he definitely deserves a "Man In Shed" award.

Clearly a fellow with a fine shed of delights to work in.

And a pipe to go with it.

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Hitler 'is dead' declares French prof who gazed at dictator's nashers

Arthur the cat
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The dictator is generally accepted to have swallowed cyanide and then shot himself

Isn't there a German idiom that roughly translates as "feeling secure because you are wearing both belt and braces"?

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Primary Data says stop, Hammerspace, Innodisk cooks some SSDs, and Fujitsu goes blockchain

Arthur the cat
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Happy

keep you going till beer o'clock

T'is the first full day of the Cambridge Beer Festival. Locally beer o'clock is 12:00, today and for the rest of the week.

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Boffins detect antimatter thundering down from Hurricane Patricia

Arthur the cat
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Stop

Re: What I want to know

Instead of a CT scan ask for a MRI.

Magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) is a safe and painless test

Unless like me you have a pacemaker fitted, in which case the effect of the intense pulsed magnetic fields may cause you to inadvertently find yourself LARPing as the victim in an Aztec sacrifice.

I'm not allowed near Teslathons either. :-(

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The harbingers of Doomwatch: Quist is quite the quasi-Quatermass

Arthur the cat
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Re: God!!!!

have a double diamond

Infinitely preferable to Watney's Red Barrel.

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Bowel down: Laxative brownies brought to colleague's leaving bash

Arthur the cat
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Saline police chief Jerrod Hart said the tampering of food ...

Did he use salty language?

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Honor bound: Can Huawei's self-cannibalisation save the phone biz?

Arthur the cat
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Headmaster

hundreds of media queued in a crush

So people are media now, rather than being employed by the media?

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Zero arrests, 2 correct matches, no criminals: London cops' facial recog tech slammed

Arthur the cat
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Devil

It can hardly be race agnostic if the sampling area is of a particular race/culture (due to historical links to their culture) i.e. Notting Hill.

Let's try it at this year's Wimbledon, with the results superimposed on the live TV coverage.

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IP freely? What a wind-up! If only Trevor Baylis had patent protections inventors enjoy today

Arthur the cat
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Re: Big Pharma

the problem is that it is horrendously expensive to develop a new drug.

Whereas I totally agree with you about this (I have a niece in the business), I'd be far more sympathetic to Big Pharma if they didn't spend 2/3rds of their budget on advertising, mainly about drugs for first world problems like restless legs and hair loss.

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Govts should police... Google's algorithms, says News Corp chief

Arthur the cat
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News Corp publications and networks traditionally rail against government intervention

in their business, but encourage it in rivals' businesses.

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Make masses carry their mobes, suggests wig in not-at-all-creepy speech

Arthur the cat
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Re: Airplane mode?

And truthfully, you would be hard pressed to find people who won't carry their mobe. Its become as important as your house keys.

True, but my wife regularly forgets one or both when she goes out. Fortunately our neighbours on both sides have keys to our house if I'm out when she gets back.

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Arthur the cat
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That would probably come under organized crime under any new legislation...

Conspiracy. When they can't get you for a crime, if more than one person was involved they get done for conspiracy.

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Shining lasers at planes in the UK could now get you up to 5 years in jail

Arthur the cat
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Re: RE: Dodgy Geezer

"Fit planes with a powerful laser pointer instead and have it blind the idiot using the laser pointer instead."

So..... hands up who here has heard of the Geneva convention?

They(*) only apply to warfare, not civil enforcement. You can't blind an enemy squaddie on a battlefield but what you do to your own people outside a battlefield is up to you.

(*) There are several treaties and protocols that get lumped together under the name.

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Arthur the cat
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the UK government would get queasy at the prospect of launching a Brimstone missile into the shit end of Hounslow

The government today announced a new urban renewal programme …

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IBM bans all removable storage, for all staff, everywhere

Arthur the cat
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Holmes

Re: When USB sticks are illegal.....

@ jelabarre59

Of course, they could be selling the device with a **claim** that it's for testing/validation, but really mean to sell it to less-savory parties.

See icon title text.

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Arthur the cat
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Re: When USB sticks are illegal.....

*shakes evil black USB stick*

What, one of these?

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You have GNU sense of humor! Glibc abortion 'joke' diff tiff leaves Richard Stallman miffed

Arthur the cat
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Re: There's no quality issue. It's a movement you benefit from.

We don't have essays and references to that father of satire Juvenal in man pages

Now that's a challenge we should accept.

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Trademark dispute by Dr Dre against Dr Drai the gynaecologist dismissed

Arthur the cat
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Jeremy Clarkson … can technically call himself Doctor as a University has awarded him a doctorate, ergo he is a Doctor

He was awarded an honorary doctorate, and you're not supposed to use the title "Doctor" with one of those, only an earned doctorate. However, this is the UK rather than Germany so there are no laws about what titles you can or can't use (except for fraudulent purposes). Hence "Doctor" Liam Fox, even though the man has no earned doctorate and hasn't been a practising medic for decades. I do wish the media would either use the correct Mister or put Doctor in quotes to show Fox up as a poseur.

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Google's socially awkward geeks craft socially awkward AI bot that calls people for you

Arthur the cat
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Re: Counter-strategy

When the phone rings, start by asking "Hello, What is the capital of Turkmenistan?"

If the caller answers correctly, put the phone down.

I'm tempted to do this next time I get a human cold caller. It'll confuse the hell out of them.

Oh, and for those who are wondering: Ashgabat.

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UK's Royal Navy buys £13m mine-blasting robot boat

Arthur the cat
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Facepalm

Who needs an expensive warship manned with expensive sailors …when you can send a roboat off to safely detonate any mines laid by your foes?

And when the mine laying bad guys board the unmanned roboat and upgrade the firmware(*)?

(*) Possibly with a shaped charge.

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AI crisis: Sony reports shortage of cute robot puppies!

Arthur the cat
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"Real soon now"? I thought this was a British website :P

We need a beefeater/pearly king/nutter in a Union Jack suit icon.

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New Monty Python movie to turn old jokes into new royalties

Arthur the cat
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Re: When I was a lad...

The jokes in Blazing Saddles got stale after the first week,

Back in the 90s Channel 4 used to broadcast some films with subtitles for the deaf, one of which was Blazing Saddles. The bean eating scene started off with short onomatopoeic captions on one line which got longer and longer, eventually taking two entire lines, and ended around half way through the scene with a final caption that read "The farting continues …". That's stuck in my memory longer than the actual jokes in the script.

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Twitter: No big deal, but everyone needs to change their password

Arthur the cat
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Re: Ever Heard of Code Review, Coding Standards?

Typical of today's coding ethos; write crap code, get away with it coz everyone else is writing crap code too.

I thought these days it's more a case of cut and paste crap code from StackExchange.

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Typical cynical Brits: Broadband speeds up, satisfaction goes down

Arthur the cat
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I've been satisfied with my occasional interactions with Zen cust svcs, although I wish they were open longer hours.

Ditto. My only major nit with Zen is that they don't support multiple PTR records for the same address(*), but that's not going to worry the average(**) punter.

(*) See RFC 2181, section 10.2 if you think this isn't allowed.

(**) Probably won't worry the 9th decile punter either.

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Grab your lamp, you've pulled: Brits punt life-saving gravity-powered light

Arthur the cat
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Re: Dry sand flows better than water ...

I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere

One of the more interesting statistics I remember from the first Gulf War was that the biggest single cause of soldiers being medevac'ed out was emergency circumcision due to problems caused by sand.

I'm not sure whether there's a suitable icon for this.

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Arthur the cat
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Re: Oh look

And for our next trick - the waterwheel!

If you can make one that works in a desert, I'm sure the world will beat a path to your door.

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Techies! Britain's defence secretary wants you – for cyber-sniping at Russia

Arthur the cat
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Journos

The defence secretary also singled out journalists as the type of people who he really wants to see join the military

What, so he can give them orders on what to write and shoot them if they don't do it?

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Javid's in, Rudd's out: UK Home Sec quits over immigration targets scandal

Arthur the cat
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Re: Diversity in action ...

I find it a bit ironic that we now have a foreigner as home secretary.

Sajid Javid was born in Rochdale, Boris Johnson was born in New York, so we've got a Home Secretary born in the UK and a Foreign Secretary born abroad. Sadly Philip Hammond wasn't born in a bank.

Oh well, got to be better than Rudd.

A dead hamster would be better than Rudd.

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NetHack to drop support for floppy disks, Amiga, 16-bit DOS and OS/2

Arthur the cat
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Re: WTF

"Players whose characters are blinded may welcome news that eating a nurse’s corpse will cure that affliction."

Is this for real?!

Yes. It's Jeremy Hunt's latest plan to "improve" the NHS.

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Can't log into your TSB account? Well, it's your own fault for trying

Arthur the cat
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Re: Last Year at Marienbad...

For a slightly less intellectual experience there is always Lesbian Vampire Killers.

For full acerebral mode, there's The Sex Lives of the Potato Men.

Only the knowledge that it was a tax scam prevents me from thinking the entire human race should be eradicated immediately.

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Avengers: Infinity War: More Marvel-ous moolah for comic film-erverse, probably

Arthur the cat
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Re: Must be my age

I'm old, but just young enough that Purdy is my immediate frame of reference rather than Mrs Peel.

Old? You're a young whippersnapper! I can remember Mrs Peel in black and white(*).

(*) As opposed to black and white but with "in colour" on the starting titles.

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This week in storage: Film folk, HDDs, tape and stacks and stacks of dusty data

Arthur the cat
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Facepalm

We’re told B2 cloud storage is 320 per cent cheaper than Amazon S3

What, they pay you 2.2 times the Amazon rate for keeping your data?

Bloody innumerate marketing types.

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Brexit has shafted the UK's space sector, lord warns science minister

Arthur the cat
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ESA is not an EU organisation

From the ESA web site:

ESA is an intergovernmental organisation, whereas the EU is supranational. The two institutions have indeed different ranges of competences, different Member States and are governed by different rules and procedures.

Therefore ESA membership has sod all to do with whether or not we're in the EU.

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Brains behind seL4 secure microkernel begin RISC-V chip port

Arthur the cat
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WTF?

Re: Πόλεμος πάντων μὲν πατήρ ἐστι

Google Translate claims that title means

"War of all is a father"

Jolly good this AI lark.

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There is no perceived IT generation gap: Young people really are thick

Arthur the cat
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Trollface

Re: Thickies...

This how we get people choosing stuff like "our little life is rounded with a sleep" to advertise beds

Perfect for Dr Kevorkian's Sleep-Tite™ range of beds.

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Arthur the cat
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Facepalm

Re: That takes me back

--?-- --?-- - made to make your mouth water!

Once upon a time a finger of fudge was all you needed to give a child a treat. Try that nowadays and a mob of tabloid readers will have lynched you before you can say "it's confectionery".

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Size does matter, chaps: Oversized todgers an evolutionary handicap

Arthur the cat
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Coat

Re: Cock size

Apparently the human penis is much larger than would be expected from a comparison with other primates.

I know a guy with a 12" penis, but he doesn't use it as a rule.

See icon.

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Wow, braking news: Overworked, tired ride-sharing drivers declared a public health risk

Arthur the cat
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Full time drivers doze off too

I've had full time taxi drivers pick me up from an airport and then start microsleeping while driving on the motorway before now. It doesn't matter whether it's a primary or secondary job, you simply shouldn't be driving when tired. We need cars that detect doziness and apps that check reaction times.

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Rudd-y hell, dark web! Amber alert! UK Home Sec is on the war path for stealthy cyber-crims

Arthur the cat
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Re: Lots of our money being spent

But not a word on exactly how they propose to implement this.

Undoubtedly they will attach the appropriate hash tags(*).

(*) ™ Amber Rudd.

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Fear the Reaper: Man hospitalised after eating red hot chilli pepper

Arthur the cat
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Re: Not the worst of it

... and remember if you need to use the toilet while preparing a meal with chillis then the "now wash your hands" instruction needs to be acted on first

Ditto if you need to clean a contact lens (also discovered the hard way).

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How life started on Earth: Sulfur dioxide builds up, volcanoes blow, job done – boffins

Arthur the cat
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Re: EU's metrification?

OTOH, try doing construction work using the metric system.

Easy peasy, if you think about it. Just use the metric foot of 300 mm and it can be divided 16 ways rather than the piddling 4 ways that twelve can be divided. Also 2x4 is only 2x4 when rough cut. After planing to a smooth surface it's smaller (which caught me out as a teenager) so 50x100 works.

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Arthur the cat
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Re: EU's metrification?

And don't forget thous, links, rods and leagues ...

You forgot poles and perches. It was always rods, poles and perches on the back of the book when I was young.

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Arthur the cat
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Re: Curse you, Noah Webster!

In return, USians have agreed to spell aluminium correctly :).

<pantomime>Oh no they haven't!</pantomime>

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Virgin spaceplane makes maiden rocket-powered flight

Arthur the cat
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high quality microgravity?

"This is not just microgravity, this is M&SVirgin microgravity"?

Just how does Virgin's offering differ from plain old microgravity?

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2001: A Space Odyssey has haunted pop culture with anxiety about rogue AIs for half a century

Arthur the cat
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Re: For more details....

cast it from Lucite (whatever that is …)

Poly methyl methacrylate, aka Perspex on this side of the pond.

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