* Posts by DJV

2386 publicly visible posts • joined 4 Aug 2009

Healthy 32-year-old offered COVID-19 vaccine because doctors had him down as 6.2cm tall with BMI of 28,000

DJV Silver badge

I fully agree with you. I was told by a text from my GP surgery on the 12th Feb to register for my vaccination. So I phoned up and booked it for today (20th). I am 66 with no underlying health problems. A friend of mine has an uncle who is 75 and lives only about 10 miles from me (same county, though different GP) who has yet to be contacted at all!

DJV Silver badge

...and someone with a BMI of 28,000 would have made an interestingly sized crater!

Big Tech workers prefer 3 days at home, 2 in the office. We ask Reg readers: What's your home-office balance?

DJV Silver badge

Re: To be truthful

In theory I could have retired 3 days ago on my 66th birthday (the bus pass, ordered on my birthday, arrived today - yay!). Trouble* is I've been a self-employed web developer/programmer since 2005 and have worked fully from home since 2008 and people keep chucking work my way!

* for maybe an enviable level of "trouble"

Hero to Jezero: Perseverance, NASA's most advanced geologist rover, lands on Mars, beams back first pics

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Re: "If we see a hedgehog, we would know there’s current and certainly ancient life on Mars"

Either that or someone's "spiked" your drink!

But, congratulations to all those involved - a fantastic achievement! I hope that helicopter gets some great shots.

No egrets: Ardent twitchers fined for breaking lockdown after bloke spots northern mockingbird in his garden

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Re: Imagine

...but maybe they'll catch (sight of) some Co(r)vid as well - an opportunity not to be sniffed (and coughed) at!

Watch this space: Apple offers free repairs for the self-bricking Apple Watch SE and Series 5 wearables

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Hah

That there Casio comparison at the end made I chuckle a lot!

Voyager 2 receives and executes first command in 11 months as sole antenna that reaches it returns to work

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Re: why 2032 ?

Now I'm completely con-fusioned!

Nominet vows to freeze wages and prices, boost donations, and be more open. For many members, it’s too little, too late

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Re: Pigs in the trough

Please tell us from where?

This scumbag stole and traded victims' nude pics and vids after guessing their passwords, security answers

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Re: "Fish is in deeper hot water"

You've definitely come to the right plaice for that sort of wordplay!

DJV Silver badge

Re: Bring to the boil and simmer for 20 years

Yep, that looks like the scale of it!

Ever wanted to own a piece of the internet? Now you can: $1 for a whole gTLD... or $2.8m if you want a decent one

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Re: .tits

You'd probably end up in a bidding war with The Sun newspaper*.

* And when I say "newspaper" I mean that in the loosest sense in that it is made of paper and, once in a while, may have the occasional bit of proper news in it.

UK Test and Trace chief Dido Harding tries to convince MPs that £14m for canned mobile app was money well spent

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Re: Baroness Harding

Oh f*** no - even just the thought of that is enough to make anyone cack their pants!

ByteDance sues Tencent over lack of link love on its messaging services

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Yay!

Popcorn time as we watch brats screaming and throwing toys out of prams!

Momentum builds behind campaign to fire Nominet CEO, board – though success still far from certain

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Happy

Re: think GoDaddy or Fasthosts

You're no fun!

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Re: think GoDaddy or Fasthosts

I did - and I shat my pants, especially at the thought of FastHosts!

Please give ample advanced warning before using such terms in the future!

I'm now off for a much needed lie down...

How do you save an ailing sales pitch? Just burn down the client's office with their own whiteboard

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Re: Interviews

Yeah, I had a friend who thought her 110/220 switch was the computer reset button. I think I managed to rescue some photos off the hard disk for her, but not a lot else!

Nominet faces showdown with British internet industry: Extraordinary vote called to oust CEO, board members

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@nematoad

"These people are corrupt, feel themselves unaccountable and deserve to be thrown out of office as soon as possible."

Upvoted! I fully agree and that statement sounds like it could also be applied to a certain other bunch of complete bastards whose imbecilic ineptitude has resulted in over 100,000 deaths - I'm sure you can probably work out who I might be talking about...

Takes from the taxpayer, gives to the old – by squishing a bug in Thatcherite benefits system

DJV Silver badge

Were there any Dr Deaths in the list?

DJV Silver badge

I worry about them poor buggers in 9999 trying to figure out where they're going to get an extra character from for the year 10,000 problem!

Remember life on Venus? One of the telescopes had 'an undesirable side effect' that could kill off the whole idea

DJV Silver badge

How "Dare" you mention that!

Open the door, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur: Expect an ad, get a bork

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Re: I only came here for the headline

Yes, but waiting for the end credits and spotting "Dinosaur of Iffy Connectivity" was definitely worth it!

Facebook finally finds something it thinks is truly objectionable and needs to be taken offline: Apple

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Facepalm

@naive

Your post would suggest that your user name is highly appropriate - well done for choosing so, erm, wisely!

We've got some really bad news about Apple's privacy measures, Google tells iOS app devs: It'll hurt your Google ad revenue

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Re: I Believe .....

Thanks for the reminder - I had to go and look it up again: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jmWLJmbytkk

Nothing new since the microwave: Let's get those home tech inventors cooking

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robotic dishwasher fillers/emptiers would be useful

Yeah, but don't get two of them - they'd always be arguing about whose turn it was.

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Re: Smart heating system?

Don't you come 'round here peddling your extremely smart, sensible ideas!

Signed, the muddle classes.

BOFH: Are you a druid? Legally, you have to tell me if you're a druid

DJV Silver badge
Coffee/keyboard

"may as well chlorinate that particular gene pool"

See icon!

You can drive a car with your feet, you can operate a sewing machine with your feet. Same goes for computers obviously

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"the occasional overheated Apple III motherboard"

Not sure about "occasional" - overheating plagued that model! And the resulting cooling (when off) and heat cycles would then pop chips out of their sockets. Wandering chips was something that afflicted Amiga 500s as well. At least, with the Amiga, you could use the renowned fix of dropping it from about 3 feet in the air onto a soft surface like a bed! Fun days!

Judge denies Parler an injunction to force AWS to host the antisocial network for internet outcasts

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Hey, stop insulting Neanderthals!

They weren't as dumb as originally thought: https://www.newscientist.com/article/dn25499-neanderthals-may-have-been-our-intellectual-equals/

Police drone plunged 70ft into pond after operator mashed pop-up that was actually the emergency cut-out button

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Re: Touch screen emergency shut off?

Reminds me of one of my favourite Gary Larson cartoons - "Wings stay on, Wings fall off" one:

https://i.imgur.com/LR0VWP9.png

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Re: It's a simple point and click

It's a simple point and crash.

FTFY

Dratted 'housekeeping', eh? 150k+ records deleted off UK’s Police National Computer database

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Re: Vendor

Ah Fujitsu - the same lovely people whose faulty Horizon software resulted in postmasters losing their jobs and being jailed for financial crimes they didn't commit...

This chip lark is child's play: Intel gives us the lowdown on Lakefield in language of Lego

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Re: "capable of typing a comment but are not able to read"

Tahts neva me affected!

Fujitsu opens door, invites '200 to 250' staff from UK Delivery team to walk out

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Re: vacancy

I see what you did there and wish I could upvote you far, far more than just the one allowed!

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Re: It worked so well for IBM

...which then makes in customers pissed-off by the lowering of support/service standards so they take their business elsewhere resulting in lower sales, resulting in lower staff requirements, resulting in a whole new raft of redundancies, ad inifinitum (well, until the last person there turns out the light)

Flash in the pan: Raspberry Pi OS is the latest platform to carve out vulnerable tech

DJV Silver badge

Attaching a tractor-fed Epson LX-80 dot matrix impact printer was the height of luxury

My first Epson was the FX-80, which was attached to my Commdore PET 2001-8 (yes, the one with the chiclet keyboard) via an IEEE-488 to parallel interface box. Worked fine for about 3 years and then blew its internal power regulators up requiring a quite expensive repair. The FX-80 limped on for another couple of years before it got traded in for an HP DeskJet Plus - this was back in the days when HP printers were still good workhorses and not just crappy devices for marketing ink at gold bullion prices. Nowadays I wouldn't touch either Epson or HP printers having been stung by their more recent (i.e. anything post 2000) pieces of utter shite!

Gloucestershire IT pro faces court over £30k Amazon voucher theft allegations

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Re: The Cotswolds

But their stone walls are extremely pretty!

Unauthorised RAC staffer harvested customer details then sold them to accident claims management company

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When they ask you how seriously you were injured tell them something like "I was decapitated" and see how long the pause is before they continue their speil (which they will).

Two wrongs don't make a right: They make a successful project sign-off

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"crowdfunder for a book of T. Rex lyrics"

As someone whose 16th year coincided with Mr Bolan's heights of popularity, that absolutely cracked me up! Cheers for brightening up my Friday, Mr Dabbs!

Lay down your souls to the gods of rock 'n' roll: Conspiracy theorists' 5G 'vaccine' chip schematic is actually for a guitar pedal

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The schematic can be found only...

Hey, I found it! But there was a warning on it that said "Beware of the Leopard."

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double the intelligence

But double fuck all is still fuck all!

File format conversion crisis delayed attempt to challenge US presidential election result

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"still using Vtech toys for the most part"

I'd be surprised if any of them have grown out of their Etch-A-Sketches!

(I'd put a link to a certain Dilbert strip here, but I'm sure you all already know which one I mean)

I built a shed once. How hard can a data centre be?

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'And now I know what "mews" means'

Never owned a cat then! :D

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Tech angle? Lying on it while I type.

Ah, the best tech "angle" - 90 degrees from the vertical!

All I want for Christmas is cash: Welsh ATMs are unbeatable. Or unbootable. Something like that

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Answer the phone if it rings

And did it ring?

Yes, Microsoft Access was a recalcitrant beast, but the first step is to turn the computer on

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Re: Yep

Also, I bet they had no idea how long those things took to go from power up to being able to serve files if they had large disks!

'Best tech employer of the year' threatened trainee with £15k penalty fee for quitting to look after his sick mum

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Joke

Re: Training

That sounds like it was a "dead" end job!

Let the chips fall where they may: US Commerce dept whacks Middle Kingdom firm SMIC on naughty list

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Battery Staple!

Oops, sorry. Wrong conversation!

Stony-faced Google drags Android Things behind the cowshed. Two shots ring out

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Re: Comprelx mircos

Yeah, I tried those as well - never understood what they were talking about, though.

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Re: Google doesn't say much about continuity

Absolutely, and here's the proof: https://killedbygoogle.com/