Posts by hplasm

do..you...

...need..a..stamp...?

Re: stretching effects on quantum foam? Eddy's in the Space-Time Continuum?

Less Quantum Foam- more Quantum Beer!

Re: musicians who swear by their tube amplifiers

"The Vox AC-30 is a thing of beauty ..."

SaidJimmy Page, no less.

"Seems they've learned to talk the talk, but can they learn to walk the walk?"

Not with those shot-to-bits feet...

"Holding world+dog at ransom..."

Just like a 'proper' IT megacorp...

Re: And this tackles people who cycle or walk past ...

"People who cycle or walk aren't carrying tonnes of taxable goods[1]. "

Bicycle full of mercury?

Re: Failed Creation Edition!

Not a Creationist, then?

"...perhaps is an intrinsic problem and it is simply that we don't know what it is."

Is it not bad programming?

Re: Why Office 365 isn't down much.

Ah - but isn't it down to 34something now?

Re: Contemporary Hollywood films do not pass the threshold of originality required by copyright

"I would've died of laughter seeing the Windows computer infect the alien computer..."

To be fair, it was a Mac...(Powerbook 5300 sez Goog.)

MS product placement tends to be on the less-than-Hollywood-budget productions.

But I can see where you get the connection.

Re: And all the students that get stuck with Windows S!

"...Presumably you can still install CutePDF writer"

Is it in the Store?

Which one ?

"What is it with bellends and rings?

Not going to have one near my todger, too many things that can go wrong."

Bellend or ring?

*edit* Too slow! 'Bin Audited, Evilly...

Re: "ask Bing anything uncommon" ...

" I just searched the same with Bing and got nothing of the sort."

That's what he said.

Re: @big_D -- Windows Store, oh goody!

"How stupid does someone have to be?"

So that's what the 'S' is for!

Re: It seems no one likes writing data validation code

"...protocol code should be written by an FSM writing tool. "

All hail His Spaghetti Code!

Ha!

"...keeping compatibility so one person can still use the WIN16 program they wrote to do their taxes twenty years ago, on Win10."

You'd think MS execs could afford a Quickbooks license...

Re: Blanket Laptops.....

"Did anyone else think of the saying, "stick like sh!t to a blanket" - could be some issues."

Wouldn't wipe my arse on it...

Re: The problem with linkedIn is

I thought this might happen, so when LI was gobbled up, I first deleted all info from my profile, saved it, put in a load of old bollox, saved it, deleted it, saved it, changed the password and then closed the account.

OK so far ...

Re: Why we love El Reg

Thanks El Reg!

I'm not affected by this, but I bet those that are are grateful for your help.

Re: Just give it native printer support and it will clean up

If only you could print from a Chromebook directly... oh wait- you can.

Ambigous, much.

"... as if we were not quite human. We are."

...not quite human? Siamese, if you please? Devo?

Re: How do you abort the update? @ Updraft102

"Oh, look - a new meaning for the word bless ...."

...originally perhaps ‘mark or consecrate with blood'. (Oxforddictionaries.com)

An old meaning, perhaps, but with the twist that the blood has been digested first...

Re: Re Mr. Python

"So the government is filled with Gumbys?"

Yes- oddly true, whoever gets in.

Re: Not like you'd do it yourself

You forgot this --->

Re: How did they pee?

"Did they stick their virtual dicks into virtual bottles?"

That's what they thought they were doing...

or possibly

That's not what they thought they were doing... 0-o

Re: No escape

You are in a maze of twisted little freaks staring into their phones, all alike...

Re: AWS infrastructure Boss is Ex-Car mechanic.. says it all.

"As we all know, virtualization has overhead upwards of 30%."

Only when running Oracle.

How long is the queue?

"The response from MS clearly states that they have queued it for a later fix, so not exactly dismissing the report."

Later, as in 30 years+ ?

Re: Ha Ha

"Do MS know what AI actually is?"

It's what Ali G says whilst using SQL Server, innit?

Re: In space

You should stay to the Up, except when passing on the Leght- except when manoevering Topwards, in which case yaw to the Rieft.

Down is generally bad.

Don't forget. Speed up to slow down!

Re: Well after that...

"Windows is fun"

Weirdo.

FTFY

still relies on the user opening a foriegn document though, with a shady operating system that should have been fixed or killed decades ago.

That's all.

Re: That installation dialogue in full...

[ ] The cheque's in the post.

[ ] We promise we won't shit in your mouth.Again. Until next Patch Tuesday.

FTFY