* Posts by hplasm

5610 publicly visible posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Tesco Online IT meltdown: Fails to deliver thousands of grocery orders

hplasm

Fifth Elephant

No, really. You can see through walls using drones and Wi-Fi

hplasm
Coat

Indeed.

A Terahertz setup on drones would work - but drones aren't allowed in airports...

hplasm
Facepalm

Re: Penetrating RADAR

The answer is blowing in the RTFA...

Microsoft throws its weight behind Parisian AI startup factory

hplasm
Windows

Bye bye Station F...

Killed in childhood by suffocation and neglect a few months after being adopted by abusive parent.

Just wait and see.

Microsoft admits to disabling third-party antivirus code if Win 10 doesn't like it

hplasm
Thumb Up

@ Zmodem

One more push- disable Windows...

hplasm
Childcatcher

Re: '34 years of development - Windows 10 is the result'

"...no other OS compares to Windows ..." for being a toy.

Poor kids- won't somebody think of them?

hplasm
Angel

Re: "locked Internet Explorer into the operating system to make up the lost ground..

Windows 10 Creationist Edition.

What MS believe about Windows is not what everyone else believes...

NASA's Kepler space telescope finishes its original mission catalog

hplasm
Alien

Well-

It looks like any aliens we meet are likely to be much bigger than us...

Now you can 'roam like at home' within the EU, but what's the catch?

hplasm
Meh

Typical.

Roaming costs them nothing, but is a cash cow. And now the cow is gone.

Panic.

Where's the capitalist Bastard icon?

Researcher says fixes to Windows Defender's engine incomplete

hplasm
Facepalm

Re: MS & security in the same breath?

Thanks Mr Vogon- I forgot it was opposite day again!

It came from space! Two-headed flatworm stuns scientists

hplasm
Happy

Re: Yeah that's not creepy at all /s

I seem to remember this in introductory school biology textbooks.* Eeee!

Make yer own two-headed flatworm!

Gave me plenty of time to get used to the idea. Never did find any Planaria in ponds though-

bang went my future NASA job, then...

* Not in them these days? Do schools still use textbooks? Or books?

Lockheed, USAF hold breath as F-35 pilots report hypoxia

hplasm
Thumb Up

Re: "It's a "Strong and Stable" aircraft which will "Make America Great Again" "

"I claim my free teeshirts."

Both of which need to be in the Reg Shop.

Windows 10 Creators Update preview: Lovin' for Edge and pen users, nowt much else

hplasm
Gimp

Windows 10 is for you if...

..."if you take part in activities that accelerate the early-onset of dementia ..."

Microsoft Azure adds OpenBSD support. Repeat. Azure adds OpenBSD support.

hplasm
Windows

Re: Microsoft is Dying

"And the corporates are - in droves!"

The value of the 'drove' has fallen dramatically, it seems.

hplasm
Gimp

Re: Microsoft is Dying

"Year in , year out we hear the same desperate messages....."

...Upgrade to Windows 10!!

hplasm
Mushroom

Failure of containment field!

Don't let them mix!

Aieee!

Science megablast: Comets may have brought xenon to Earth

hplasm
Coat

Re: Comets? Why bloody comets?

Coz Dixons couldn't cut it, no matter how big the store was?

Donald Trumped: Comey says Prez is a liar – and admits he's a leaker

hplasm
Thumb Up

Re: Who's a liar?

"lawyer (n.) Look up lawyer at Dictionary.com"

Wait a few hours then look it up in urbandictionary...

lawyer (n) Old English ...

Gordon Ramsay's father-in-law gets six months for hacking sweary super-chef's computer

hplasm
Happy

Re: Wow

...unbelieveable!

*You are Kate Shrub and I claim my £5!

Senator blows a fuse as US spies continue lying over spying program

hplasm
Big Brother

So-

How long until the US is considered a rogue (rouge...) state?

Australia to float 'not backdoors' that behave just like backdoors to Five-Eyes meeting

hplasm
Thumb Up

"What happens if..."

Pretty much the same as now, then.

Kaspersky files antitrust suit against Microsoft

hplasm
Windows

Re: Yes, progress happens.

Remember when Windows wasn't a bloated sack of shite?

No, me neither.

Going to Mars may give you cancer, warns doc

hplasm
Alert

Re: I suspect that ...

"Probably not until politicians go boldly forth !"

We must ensure this does not happen.

Microsoft totters from time machine clutching Windows 10 Workstation

hplasm
Meh

Re: 4 Processors Chips which could be 88 cores, 6TB of RAM...

But will it run Windows- ie more than one fullscreen...

hplasm
Gimp

Re: 4 Processors Chips which could be 88 cores, 6TB of RAM...

"Microsoft have a long term plan..."

And there goes any remaining credibility to the rest of your post.

hplasm
Devil

Linux and all its variants.

Is that really what you want? Is that really what anyone wants?

Anyone with any experience of Win10 would...

Does Microsoft have what it takes to topple Google Docs?

hplasm
Gimp

Re: if I'd start a new company

"IT staff and are happy paying the little extra cash if it means they don't need to deal with geeks..."

Your IT staff should BE geeks- or you deserve to be rinsed by MS and their Toy OS.

Over and over, as usual, for every penny they can squeeze from your stupid fingers.

hplasm
Coat

Re: The world turned upside down!

Decaf Covfefe, anyone?

UK PM Theresa May's response to terror attacks 'shortsighted'

hplasm
Big Brother

Re: Trying to analyze the response is pointless

"And There Will Be Cake".

But the cake is a lie!

(It's a camera...)

The open source community is nasty and that's just the docs

hplasm
Gimp

Re: Actually one reason why I usually avoid open source.

" I don't have to wade into a kindergarten every time I need to get support for it."

With closed source, you have to pay to get into the kindergarten...

Whoops! Microsoft accidentally lets out a mobile-'bricking' OS update

hplasm
Windows

"Oh and i do not need to download any unnessesery apps..."

Like a spellchecker?

hplasm
Facepalm

Re: "We knew the risks"

"It's probably slower than when you first got due to all the useless"apps" and photos from imgur."

Aha- so that's why the MS app store is so empty; to stop winphones from getting laggy!

hplasm
Windows

Re: Interesting

"to hell with the 21st century."

The cry of a Windows fan!

UK PM May's response to London terror attack: Time to 'regulate' internet companies

hplasm
Thumb Up

+1

For cryptogoblin!

The Big Blue Chopper video that IBM might want to keep quiet

hplasm
Boffin

Re: Limo

"How do you transform a copter pilot into Fuel-Air Explosive?"

SAM?

Microsoft's cunning plan to make Bing the leading search engine: Bribery

hplasm
Meh

Three points per search

And spend them all in the MS Store. On all the apps in there...

That's five minutes done - now what?

Elon to dump Trump over climate bump

hplasm
Headmaster

Re: Climate explained (by americans, for americans)

"I'll see your xkcd and raise you a Douglas Adams'"

Eek! Scott Adams has stolen his towel!

UK surveillance law raises concerns security researchers could be 'deputised' by the state

hplasm
Big Brother

Re: I see your warrant, GCHQ,

"Warrant trumps invoice, I think you'll find."

'Sod off I don't work for nothing',trumps Warrant.

Checkmate.

hplasm
Big Brother

I see your warrant, GCHQ,

And raise you my invoice. Look at all of those zeros!

What, free? Sod off.

German robo-pastor preaches the GNU Testament

hplasm
Paris Hilton

Re: So how long before this thing

What? So where do all the dead calculators go?

Windows XP crashed too much to spread WannaCrypt

hplasm
Windows

Re: And Microsoft is more than happy to oblige (for the right payment of course).

"What would you prefer?"

Software that isn't so shitty?

India sets June 5 as the day it will join the heavy-lift rocket club

hplasm
Joke

Re: Geostationary vs. LEO

"If they said it had a lunch capability of say 4 tonnes..."

I would say it was a fat bastard!

Windows 10 love to see PC market grow again. Future iPhone to be clear. Elvis to re-appear

hplasm
Thumb Up

Re: The penguin's egg problem

This ^^^^

This very thing. And not to mention the MCSEs et al...

NHS Digital stopped short of advising against paying off WannaCrypt

hplasm
Thumb Down

Anyone-

Who starts off with "We support organisations in cyber..."

Is certainly worth listening to.

Windows is now built on Git, but Microsoft has found some bottlenecks

hplasm
Holmes

Re: GVFS sounds super dumb

"I don't know what's wrong with:

cp file file.old"

Remember what you're dealing with...

C:\>cp file file.old

'cp' is not recognized as an internal or external command,

operable program or batch file.

Media players wide open to malware fired from booby-trapped subtitles

hplasm
Coat

Re: didn't read it

All of these things should not be tard with the same brush.

How good are selfies these days? Good enough to fool Samsung Galaxy S8 biometrics

hplasm
Facepalm

Re: Three pillars of identity

"So what happens when ..."

You've probably forgotten where you left your phone already. No problem.

It's just 'Pro' now, guys: Microsoft gives Surface a subtle resurfacing

hplasm
Linux

Re: i7 16GB/1TB is £2,699 – all prices inclusive of VAT.

No rattle here- must be the fan on your Surface.

hplasm
Meh

Re: i7 16GB/1TB is £2,699 – all prices inclusive of VAT.

"I can't see any Linux-on-the-desktop soap-dodgers spaffing nearly 3 grand one of these."

Yes; these are not the suckers you are looking for.

"Doesn't Argos sell a Linux tablet for £200?"

That's much better value than this C-level merit badge.

Chinese e-tailer beats Amazon to the skies with one-ton delivery drones

hplasm
Happy

do..you...

...need..a..stamp...?