* Posts by hplasm

5611 publicly visible posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Jesus walks away after 7,000lb pipe van incident

hplasm
Coat

The Internet IS a series of pipes...

There's the IT angle.

Jodie Who-ttaker? The Doctor is in

hplasm
Angel

Re: "Nurse Who"

Messy...

*ducks*

BOFH: That's right. Turn it off. Turn it on

hplasm
Thumb Up

And so-

BOFH reaches perfection!!

While USA is distracted by its President's antics, China is busy breaking another fusion record

hplasm
Joke

Re: Crazy ideas?

"They called Galileo crazy, they called Einstein crazy, but they also called Bozo the clown crazy"

So much for two-party politics. Who knew the Third candidate always gets in...

hplasm
Happy

Re: At that temp, marshmallows will melt!

Trump is pro-fusion!

By increasing the Density of the US population, soon a mass will accumulate that will collapse into a bright point of fusion energy, as seen in a recent Spiderman documentary.

Microsoft offers cloud to Baidu, gets autonomous car in return

hplasm
Facepalm

Self driving cars promised!

No more dickheads on the road! (Eventually..)

Now this. Dickhead self-driving cars.

Doh!

@AC- Homer's car will be better.

Create a user called '0day', get bonus root privs – thanks, Systemd!

hplasm
Thumb Up

Re: "Brattitude"

"I think Poettering is more of a twunt."

he's certainly a hamtoucher!

hplasm
Joke

Re: Hmmm. Lennart Poettering comes across as one of the more neurodiverse devs.

Perhaps someone could arrange a deal where Poettering meets Hans Reiser, who could be let out of jail 'just for one last job...'

hplasm
Happy

Re: "Brattitude"

"...it is not a strong enough word for this sort of f*ckwittery."

Twattitude, in this case, then.

hplasm
Devil

Re: the problem with clueless amateurs...

"Any other good ideas from the medieval era?"

The Iron Maiden - with Poettering inside it?

p.s. SystemD now has an emoji :- U-1F4A9

What do you mean it's taken?

Microsoft boasted it had rebuilt Skype 'from the ground up'. Instead, it should have buried it

hplasm
Angel

Re: Surprisingly Unlike Microsoft

"Bring back Microsoft Kin, I say!"

Kin-ell! What an idea!!

hplasm
Devil

Re: a colleague skyped me..

Evidence that Redmond is the birthplace of Intelligent Design*?

*as in utter bollox...

Windows Insiders with SD cards turn into OneDrive outsiders

hplasm
Gimp

Re: Uninstall OneDrive

" I suspect that outside the small bubble that is the Reg - they do fine for pretty much every customer."

MS user forums say the opposite.

What are you on?

hplasm
Gimp

Re: Uninstall OneDrive

" Or do you impose a crippled system on them because you hate them?"

Are you talking to Microsoft here?

Bonkers call to boycott Raspberry Pi Foundation over 'gay agenda'

hplasm
Thumb Down

Wow!

How gay does that make TV Kids favourite 'Rainbow', then?

Some people...

America's net neutrality rage hits academia

hplasm
Meh

Re: economics

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

You say that like you are on the receiving end, not the giving end; I suspect you might change your tune.

Ubuntu 'weaponised' to cure NHS of its addiction to Microsoft Windows

hplasm
Gimp

Re: Cost is the smaller concern

"Munich that Linux simply doesn't replace Windows well except for niche uses."

You call them niche uses, the world calls them those-who-are-not-narrow-minded fanbois.

hplasm
Gimp

Re: Cost is the smaller concern

"...someone else's hacked and undocumented spaghetti code"

It works for the mess that is Windows.

None more hacked, none more undocumented.

Don't panic, but Linux's Systemd can be pwned via an evil DNS query

hplasm
Mushroom

Re: Hang on, all y'all ...

"Unfortunately most anti-systemd trolls are childish and couldn't code their way out of a paper bag"

Just like the guy that wrote the thing, then?

Idiot.

hplasm
Holmes

Re: At some point in the article

I'll just leave this here:-

https://devuan.org/

You're welcome.

hplasm
Facepalm

systemd is the greatest achievement of humankind...

Since the evolution of the two-ended digestive tract.

Oh wait- that's where it came from!

Five-eyes nations want comms providers to bust crypto for them

hplasm
Happy

Re: Breaking News: Water is wet

"If only we knew the two books amanfrommars uses..."

One of them is in Martian...

Search results suddenly missing from Google? Well, BLAME CANADA!

hplasm
Angel

Re: Does this mean...

All hail the Prince of Insufficient Light!

Kaspersky Lab US staff grilled by Feds in nighttime swoop

hplasm
Big Brother

Re: Kapersky has done more to stop computer security threats...

The FBI want them to stop it- it's affecting the NSA's work.

America throws down gauntlet: Accept extra security checks or don't carry laptops on flights

hplasm
Facepalm

Re: Anon

"Just wait until the bombers discover that they have body cavities that can hold stuff."

In dogs...

FTA:- "An expansion of canine screening."

Exploding dogs? A new low.

(I know about WW2... not any better.)

Everything you need to know about the Petya, er, NotPetya nasty trashing PCs worldwide

hplasm
Happy

Re: International advertising conglomerate WPP was taken offline

condoning cyber-terrorism, are you (in a mock Yoda voice)

FTFY

hplasm
Windows

Re: Bring Back

"If you did that Otto , then malware writers *would* cater for all systems"

But not all systems are fragile, like Windows.

Blunder down under: self-driving Aussie cars still being thwarted by kangaroos

hplasm
Happy

Re: Cane toads

Pie launcher! Oh Yeah!!

hplasm
Happy

"So, if it looks further away when in the air..."

"Well, Dougal, it's like this- "

Ever wondered why the universe only has black holes in S or XXXL? No? Boffins have an answer

hplasm
Paris Hilton

It's "Dwarfs", not "Dwarves", unless you're Tolkien.

Or Disney?

Microsoft: We'll beef up security in Windows 10 Creators Edition Fall Update

hplasm
Devil

Re: Fail Edition?

"Those aren't bugs, they're features, er, opportunities, er, sales leads, er..."

Cockroaches? Pubic lice?

eww...

hplasm
Devil

Re: Creator's Edition

Unintelligent design, in the raw!

Northern Ireland bags £150m for broadband pipes in £1bn Tory bribe

hplasm
Headmaster

Re: @ Martin

Over a barrel, pork barrel politics- two sentences...

SpaceX nails two launches and barge landings in one weekend

hplasm
Happy

" Don't we need a moon defence base first patrolled by sharks?"

Don't we need a moon defence base first patrolled by women in purple wigs?

FTFY

Linus Torvalds slams 'pure garbage' from 'clowns' at Grsecurity

hplasm
Gimp

Re: Ego Overload

"As usual with him, it's a dick-measuring contest."

And one he can't win. All the biggest dicks are associated with closed source.

UK parliamentary email compromised after 'sustained and determined cyber attack'

hplasm
Coat

Re: Passwords must be

Strong and correct and battery and horsehouse...

Darkness to fall over North America from a total solar eclipse

hplasm
Flame

Re: Darkness fell over America in November

"Right tit."

I like your signature.

hplasm
Happy

Re: 'Snot fair

The US already keep us in the dark!

hplasm
Devil

Re: Darkness fell over America in November

Half the population will probably hail the Rapture.

What a disappointment for them...

Ex-NASA bod on Gwyneth Paltrow site's 'healing' stickers: 'Wow. What a load of BS'

hplasm
Happy

Re: Skin marks...

"so be careful to stick them somewhere concealable..."

:s/skin/skid/ marks...

hplasm
Coat

Re: There's nothing wrong with wearable stickers

"I get a 'brave boy' sticker each time I go to the dentist and it definitely helps!"

Get over it- you are the Dentist, after all!

hplasm
Coat

Jade eggs?

One man's Goop is another gal's Love Honey...

Latest Windows 10 Insider build pulls the trigger on crappy SMB1

hplasm
Devil

Re: "U+1F4A9 PILE OF POO"

Isn't that the new Windows logo?

Canadian sniper makes kill shot at distance of 3.5 KILOMETRES

hplasm
Coat

Re: More calculation

That's why we don't see giants in warfare any more.

TalkTalk customers complain of being unable to load Amazon website

hplasm
Happy

Re: the delivery time should not exceed 40 minutes.

'Sorry you weren't home when we tried to deliver. Your package is in the radioactive crater behind the bin.'

US Air Force resumes F-35A flights despite not knowing why pilot oxygen systems failed

hplasm
Mushroom

Re: Easy solution

Easier solution- when hypoxia strikes, eject.

After half a dozen or so of the expensive flying bricks have cratered, they will start looking into the oxygen problem.

Probably 10c worth of plastic.

Queen's speech announces laws to protect personal data

hplasm
Paris Hilton

Re: Ex-queen

"Er, no. It's a job for life."

Abication by execution, eh?

Debian 9 feels like home with security upgrades and a flaming vulpine warming your toes

hplasm
Linux

Re: Nice changes-

Already on Devuan for my latest; works like a charm!

hplasm
Unhappy

Nice changes-

Shame about the SystemD...

F-Secure's Mikko Hypponen on IoT: If it uses electricity, it will go online

hplasm
FAIL

Re: "We can't avoid the IoT revolution by refusing to play part."

Er, my router, my firewall rules...