* Posts by hplasm

5613 publicly visible posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Anti-religious campaigners smack down census Jedis

hplasm
Go

I find the lack of faith-

encouraging!

hplasm
Thumb Up

or

Hutt...

hplasm
Alien

Astral-B Heretic

Down with the Divine Order!!

hplasm
Thumb Down

Faith

Is not equal to 'Dont Care- You're just being silly."

BBC accused of coming out for porn opt-in?

hplasm
Grenade

I denounce Smith as a witch.

I demand trial by ducking stool, as is my right.

Yrs, Outraged Viewer.

That should have the same standing as her deranged rants, and a possible cure for them.

Kentucky man denies drunk driving, blames blow job

hplasm
Go

That picture-

Isn't he on The Simpsons? I'm surprised he didn't get off with the ;don't you know who I am?' defense.

Still, it doesn't say whether he did get off....before he was stopped.

Solution found for climate change: Nuclear war

hplasm
Coat

God hates

Teledildonics?

hplasm
Heart

Blastalicious kaboomability!

El Reg meets Schlock Mercenary!!

Top Stuff!

Ford punts prang-prompted auto cops-calling kit

hplasm
Gates Horns

That would be an unusual amount

of Miscrosoft cross-compatibility...

hplasm
Joke

But only

through your phone's Zune interface.... or Android using the CLI

Eurofighter Typhoon: It's EVEN WORSE than we thought

hplasm
Megaphone

What a bunch of

Armour-plated idiots; those that thought up and managed this disaster will probably be sat back with their feet up on a small boy, smoking rolled up fifty-pound notes and there is nothing we can do about it.

Grr!

Official: Booze prevents senile dementia

hplasm
Pint

See icon!

Cheers Professur Doktor Steffi!

Self-erasing flash drives destroy court evidence

hplasm
WTF?

Why not go the whole hog?

get rid of the court system altogether.

Have you a warehouse full of torches and pitchforks to shift?

Udder.

Microsoft plans June Windows 8 tablet tease?

hplasm
Coat

That smell?

It's the Dell Peju. Pe-yoooo!

Ofcom demands ISPs close 'upto' gap

hplasm
FAIL

Facts

Don't you hate the way they get in the way of a good moan?

Gamers raise millions for charity

hplasm
Megaphone

Note to Imperialist DRM supporters-

Nyah!

Told you you could make money by givig stuff away!

Kinect connect rate outstrips Sony PS3 Move

hplasm
Thumb Down

And in Monkeyworld-

Bananas outsell pumpkins.

Your point?

(The phrase 'chalk and chalky cheese' springs to mind, even though it didn't exist a minute ago.)

HBGary chief exec resigns over Anon hack

hplasm
Pirate

Night-elf Druid?

Arr Barr sounds more like a pirate to me!

Yarr!

ECJ gender ruling 'could throw insurance into turmoil'

hplasm
Unhappy

More like

"You'll pay more, and so will your wife..."

Antennagate Redux: Consumer Reports condemns Verizon iPhone 4

hplasm
Happy

Does he

have an ePhone IV?

hplasm
Jobs Horns

At least-

it would be available in white!

Anonymous hacks Westboro Baptists during live interview

hplasm
Thumb Up

By the hand

of Jeeeeebus!!

Flaw in MS anti-malware engine poses command override risk

hplasm
Coat

Enterprise Security is always a risky business.

A redshirt dies every episode...

Microsoft bricking lesson bodes badly for Elop's Brave New Nokia

hplasm
Gates Horns

Surely nobody was surprised by this?

Popcorn sales say not!

Council loses USB of patient records

hplasm
Go

Which would help

with deciding who should go due to the cuts that are expected...

Jacqui Smith 'shocked' to discover we're drowning in sea of porn

hplasm

And-

Never.Come.Back!!

O^0

/gollum

Sheep as smart as humans: Official

hplasm
Thumb Up

'Sheep Blue'

perhaps?

Passport office loses applications

hplasm
Happy

Have they checked

round at the Israeli Embassy?

Unprecedented domain seizure shutters 84,000 sites

hplasm
Thumb Up

You don't need a reason...

mmmm

hplasm
Big Brother

Political Dislexia

It seems that

"The right to bear arms to protect ourselves from an oppressive Government."

seems to be read as

"The right to bear arms to protect ourselves from a Government that is not run by us."

hplasm
Thumb Down

Didn't happen under the last one-

But then again, depends on which side has all the bear arms?

Arm the bears!

hplasm
Coat

Pitchforks?

I thought *this sort of thing* was the reason, the only reason, above all else, so help me Jeebus, for every man and his dog, to own a fucking gun.

Pitchforks.

Perhaps that is all the 'citizens' can handle now? **

Sad.

*Down with this sort of thing!

**Careful now.

I'm off, before I cause offence...

hplasm
Headmaster

No Nazis-

No Godwins'.

Obama woos Masters of the (Tech) Universe

hplasm
FAIL

The IT angle was in the participants-

Where's Your IT angle? Beck radio waves?

Sarkozy: Microsoft represents all that is great about France

hplasm
Happy

I think the term you're looking for-

Is ' Cheese-Eating Surrender Monkey-Boy'

One-third of Aussies 'are pirates'

hplasm
Pirate

Tertiary Piracy

It's where you don't buy it or watch it at all; you must still pay! Yarr!!

Steve Jobs unveils 30% subs model for ... everything

hplasm
Happy

History Today?

Is that the one that goes along the lines of-

"Professor, do you see that pile of dog poo?"

"I am aware of it."

"That's your iPad case, that is."

Gov will pay £2.25m compo to ID card suppliers

hplasm
Unhappy

Complain about it?

He should bloody pay for it; pocket change from expenses, probably.

Locking antlers with a network Nazi

hplasm
Happy

Are You a shifty Swedish Contractor?

Just have to ask...

Latest boffinry: Feeding TNT to sheep

hplasm
Happy

Be my guest-

You can try it if you like...

hplasm
Joke

They are searching for the elusive

Paddy McGinty's goat gene.

It's official: Nokia bets on Microsoft for smartphones

hplasm
Happy

How does that sound?

Like a grinding noise- or is that the user's teeth?

First reports on XM-25 Judge Dredd smartgun in A'Stan

hplasm
Headmaster

Remember though-

The Punisher was a vigilante, and the current legal wrangling over the 'Eastasia conflicts' may make the term Law-giver somewhat untenable...

Wii Countdown conundrum brands family 'SH*THEADS'

hplasm
Joke

Calling The Sun

a newspaper makes us all hypocrites!

Sony expands legal offensive to more PS3 hackers

hplasm
Troll

Xbox broken again?

Gives you some free time to troll.

Badly.

hplasm
Troll

Don't worry-

They've saved your seat by the window.

iPhone owners get walked through confessional

hplasm
Happy

Where?

iHell?

Cupertino?

Google man open sources Chrome build system

hplasm
WTF?

Your brain seems to have come loose.

Did you know?

Open source to bust up Cisco Borg collective?

hplasm
Boffin

Interesting- but...

Cisco kit is built like a brick outhouse, ina bombshelter.

'Old Servers' are not. Compare the uptime of a rackserver with a mainframe?

That's the sort of difference your'e looking at. Servers need coddling, network gear can be used as a hammer, then installed in the rack you have just straightened out.

Call me when you can do that with software.

Catalans to hunt wild boar with bows and arrows

hplasm
Unhappy

Why doesn't that

surprise me.

It's a wonder the remote contolled crossbows from Ye Olde TV show 'The Golden Shot' havn't turned up on some 'Good Ol' Huntin' ' website.

Guns have.

Gives Dudes a bad name, again.