* Posts by hplasm

5611 publicly visible posts • joined 10 Jul 2009

Reg ed rattles the Red-Headed League

hplasm
FAIL

So feeling uncomfortable

makes you want to punch people in the face?

Nice.

hplasm
Happy

So she has

green leafy hair?

hplasm
Troll

Touchy,

these mutants, eh?

Sergey Brin: Only 20% of Googlers still on Windows

hplasm
Gates Horns

Half-baked-

is the released version of MS's 'dogfood'.

hplasm
Joke

Tut!

Fookin' Prawns...

hplasm
WTF?

His DNA-

has been modified?

Microsoft resuscitates 'I'm a PC' ads to fight Apple

hplasm
Terminator

She's a PC...

Sent from the future.

He's Sarah Connor...

hplasm
Joke

Hopefully, yes.

"Hi-I'm a PC"

"ISA ISA?"

*earth shattering kaboom*

fade.

hplasm
Gates Horns

"I'm a PC-"

"-and everyone wants to punch me!"

IP firm claims ownership of DVD video-menus

hplasm
Stop

Time to treat US patent trolls

Like annoying brats (used to be treated...) and ignore them.

Oh- like most of the world does.

Canadian kid uses supercomputing to cure cystic fibrosis

hplasm
Thumb Up

Nice going Mr Zhang!

How about having a look at cancer before you get too old and cynical?

Google infringes copyright by displaying and linking to news site content

hplasm
Happy

How much revenue will the Belgian press lose

When they effectively disappear from the 'net?

Or only show up on Bing. Same thing.

NASA restores Pluto to league of planets

hplasm
Thumb Up

Balls to the IAU

and also Wikipoedia (sic).

Pluto is and always shall be a dog.

And a little Planet.

Microsoft poised to make biggest ever buy – Skype

hplasm
Flame

'Zune-like UI'?

As in -'rarely seen outside the US'

Sounds about right...

Computers taught to sing using autotuning talent show

hplasm
Heart

That would be-

The BuranaBots!

hplasm
Happy

Ha!

Synthetic Reality TV....

coming to a screen near you.

Now to replace Cowell with an inanimate carbon rod.

Sony’s sorry saga snowballs

hplasm
Flame

Yeah- that will happen

When Old Nick buys a bobble hat...

<--- Fire for his homies.

Queen to get an iPad (the Queen, not a queen)

hplasm
Coat

Always wondered what Lizzie did for fun.

Now we know whatever it is, it's not flash based...

Boffins develop method of driving computers insane

hplasm
Boffin

Clinical research...

yeah, right....

(Darpa Brain Scissors please Nurse!)

Mozilla refuses US request to ban Firefox add-on

hplasm
Go

But also-

The biggest psychos. You can't 'stand up to them', you can only take them down, but they have to stay down.

Bullies, that is...

Tricky, that.

DARPA, NASA look to spawn STARSHIP enterprise

hplasm
FAIL

If that is your solution

Then you are certainly part of the problem.

Reg reader lost for words over blank HP keyboard

hplasm
Gates Horns

Typical!

Only two marked keys, and they are the most useless of all...

Apple confirms white iPhone 4 on sale tomorrow

hplasm
Coat

Ohhh yes!

sorry.

Boffins pull plug on SETI alien-seeking antenna array

hplasm
WTF?

I wonder-

what sort of thicko would downvote your post?

hplasm
Unhappy

Always cash for bullets, none for brains

When was the last time the army needed to hold a bring-and-buy sale?

Apart from buying armour of course...

Sky to show FA Cup match in 3D

hplasm
Thumb Up

Agreed-

I'd buy a hardware ad-blocker for paid-for cable/sat TV.

'Anti alpha' mirror-matter made from gold in atomsmasher

hplasm
Happy

Such a region-

sounds more hospitable than the Calvin-Klein region.

hplasm
Coat

It exists!

It's negative money- that's where the huge deficit comes from...

Engineer who sued Cisco arrested for hacking it

hplasm
Troll

Still having trouble with that CCNA, eh?

I kid, I kid....

Lasers set to replace spark plugs in car engines

hplasm
Flame

Indeed-

My point being that Diesel was cheaper than Petrol, and the cost differential made it popular. This woke the sleeping pig (qv chancellor - he who kills the goose that lays the golden eggs) who increased the tax on Diesel to match.

The increased demand then led to a price rise, making it dearer still than petrol.

Flames for the rosy glow of a warm trough...

hplasm
Happy

Diesel is only dearer than petrol

Because the taxman makes it so.

I want some of these sparkplug lasers though.... for er, my central heating, yes.

(Not the shark tank...)

iPhones secretly track 'scary amount' of your movements

hplasm
Jobs Horns

And the chance of that getting into the iApp store?

Less than 0...

RIPA to be changed to demand full consent to monitoring

hplasm
Thumb Up

Blimey!!!!!!!!!

Where am I? What have you done with The System- it's.... working!

'Fierce competition' drives Apple's iPhone 6 changes

hplasm
Happy

Good Idea-

Se how far away estate agents are, do you don't have to get too close to them.

A telescope/microscope function for the camera might be nice too...

NASA funds commercial Shuttle-replacement spaceships

hplasm
Terminator

Stranger yet-

all of the Occupants seem to be members of Kraftwerk- even the girl.

Blighty's Skylon spaceplane faces key tech test in June

hplasm
FAIL

So that's why rockets dont work...?

Eh?

hplasm
Black Helicopters

True, but....

the last person to design one got a Mossad headache...

The best sci-fi film never made: Also-rans take a bow

hplasm
Headmaster

Right title-

Wrong author. The Thing was taken from a John W Campbell story...

hplasm
Alien

Don't feed him...

he might be a gremlin. And it's past midnight...

hplasm
Coat

Much like the films

that do get made then...

hplasm
Thumb Down

Star Trek was-

and it never stopped them...

Google counterattacks MS in US.gov cloud contract row

hplasm
Thumb Up

Ooh! Handbags at 10 paces!

Popcorn!

White iPhone 4 'in production'

hplasm
Happy

Not even-

an old white one.

US Marines splurge on Brit troops' armoured pants

hplasm
Joke

Actually-

I did know that!

Microsoft reveals WinPhone 7 'Mango' details

hplasm
FAIL

How amazingly

20th Century...

Microsoft breaks own world record for IE nonsense

hplasm
Happy

This is MS...

"Excrement"

US Navy laser cannon used to set boat aflame

hplasm
Alien

USS Paul Foster?

Ha! I knew UFO was real...

US gov mulls issuing terrorist warnings on Twitter, Facebook

hplasm
Happy

More likely-

If you're not on Facebook or Twitter, you'll wonder what everyone is panicking about, shrug, and have a nice stressfree day.

NoTW offers apologies, 'regret' over phone hacks

hplasm
WTF?

Corruption fatigue.

Is it just me, or is anyone else starting to suffer from this?

It seems everybody has their hands in our pockets, their noses in our business or a blank card to do whatever the 4uk they want. And get away with it.

Bastards.

CPS: We won't prosecute over BT/Phorm secret trials

hplasm
Megaphone

Crown Prostitution Service

Bought and Paid For.