Re: “On-premise”?
Thank you for the clarification. Can you also enlighten us regarding the supposition of suppositories in a supported system?
Posts by Rich 11
4583 publicly visible posts • joined 8 Jul 2009
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Global Fastly outage takes down many on the wibbly web – but El Reg remains standing
UK government bows to pressure, agrees to delay NHS Digital grabbing the data of England's GP patients
Wednesday 9th June 2021 04:41 GMT
Re: 1st July, 1st September
There's probably a whole team of people employed to be on the lookout for that sort of day
I'll save them a few dozen Serco consultants costing a grand a day -- the day to make the announcement will be 30th August, for the following reasons:
1) It's a Bank Holiday.
2) Parliament isn't sitting.
3) The news will be full of complaints about this year's scheduled exam results fiasco.
Opt out while your opt-out isn't yet overridden by the next opt-out scheme.
How many remote controls do you really need? Answer: about a bowl-ful
Just what is the poop capacity of an unladen sparrow? We ask because one got into the office and left quite a mess
Big red buttons and very bad language: A primer for life in the IT world
Monday 24th May 2021 10:12 GMT
Practice, practice, practice!
He also learned "that when required I can move pretty quickly whilst also providing a running profanity-loaded commentary."
It's worth practicing for such exigencies by developing these skills separately beforehand. I'd like to say that personally I've worked very hard on improving my reaction times and developing my fast-twitch muscle fibres through many years of fencing and playing squash, but in reality I've not got much further than turning the air blue at every opportunity.
All that Lego has a purpose: Researchers find that spatial memory improves kids' mathematical powers
Ransomware victim Colonial Pipeline paid $5m to get oil pumping again, restored from backups anyway – report
Friday 14th May 2021 07:11 GMT
Re: Pretty cool though
Call me old-fashioned, but I thought the presence of armies indicated that 30% of Ukraine is currently under Russian control.
Do you by any chance think that because Rudy Giuliani didn't dig up the dirt his boss wanted on Hunter Biden, the remaining 70% of Ukraine is firmly under US control? Wasn't his boss in charge of the US at the time?
US declares emergency after ransomware shuts oil pipeline that pumps 100 million gallons a day
Monday 10th May 2021 07:24 GMT
Twat
Uncle Sam will quite happily drop JDAMs on houses for THIS shit, and frankly, it's about time the ransomware crook gang started getting their houses exploded for attacks
How many resident children would you be happy to see 'exploded' along with their houses? Should neighbours or people in the street who also get 'exploded' be seen as unfortunate collateral damage or as entirely the fault of those goddam' cyber turrists for choosing to live in a residential neighbourhood?
Crane horror Reg reader uses his severed finger to unlock Samsung Galaxy phone
So what if I pay peanuts for my home broadband? I demand you fix it NOW!
Brit MPs and campaigners come together to oppose COVID status certificates as 'divisive and discriminatory'
Thursday 29th April 2021 03:08 GMT
However no-one should be stopped from visiting a pub/restaurant/shop/etc of their choice just because they don't have the app du jour or even a piece of paper.
Sure, but the consequence is that pubs/restaurants/shops/etc will then have to continue operating social distancing restrictions until it's clear that no outbreaks are likely to take hold and that no new variants capable of taking hold are likely to be introduced into the country. Remember that this passport argument is about getting business and society back to normal before everything is back to normal epidemiologically speaking.
Thursday 29th April 2021 02:51 GMT
Re: Not "divisive and discriminatory", but essential
Then if you got the vaccine, YOU will be fine.
Incorrect. If smudge got the vaccine then smudge will PROBABLY be fine. The background level of risk affects smudge's chance of being exposed to infection; the vaccine smudge took reduces the likelihood that smudge will contract the infection if exposed and subsequently the morbidity/mortality risk if infected. Even once vaccinated, smudge therefore retains the right to be concerned about the level of vaccine take-up in the population, since this contributes heavily to the background risk.
That's the difference, CHOICE.
If you choose to act in a way that puts other people at risk (whether it's not getting vaccinated without a sound medical reason, yelling 'Fire!' in a theatre, drink-driving, or throwing punches at random strangers), it's not in the least bit surprising that you would expect some form of backlash. Even if you think you are perfectly capable of making a rational fully-informed judgement when given the choice, you know damn well that there are plenty of other people in the world who are not. The greater the risk to society as a whole, the more likely it is that society will settle on not extending the luxury of choice to everyone within that society.
George Clooney of IT: Dribbling disaster and damp disk warnings scare the life out of innocent user
Saturday 24th April 2021 07:30 GMT
Re: Am I Old?
As clock speeds rose it would have moved through dog-whistle and into bat communication.
The assumption of 18.2 clock ticks per second. Isn't it strange what useless information comes back to you after all these years?
Sometime in the mid-90s I found some old game floppies stuffed at the bottom of a packing crate, which hadn't seen the light of day for six or seven years. I had to dig through the spares cupboard at work to hook up a 5.25" drive one evening in order to copy them all to a zip drive and take that home. I was really looking forward to playing Leisure Suit Larry again, plus other old favourites, but few would work for one reason or another. Pacman in particular ran so fast that you could barely press a key before all the ghosts were on top of you.
Won't somebody please think of the children!!! UK to mount fresh assault on end-to-end encryption in Facebook
Tuesday 20th April 2021 16:54 GMT
Re: Child protection
Perhaps we should treat them like battery chickens. Feed them well for a couple of months, then once they've put on just enough weight send them off for slaughter and an unenviable destiny wrapped in polythene on the supermarket shelves. Well, maybe restaurants would outbid supermarkets to implement a better feeding regime for the choicest dishes: kid a l'orange, bhuna gosht, infant chasseur, wiener schnitzel.
God bless this mess: Study says UK's Christian beliefs had 'important' role in Brexit
Tuesday 20th April 2021 16:11 GMT
They probably get by at the moment because they haven't clouded the issue with dogma. Wait for a hundred years and a handful of schisms, then see what sort of mess they'll be in. If the Holy Carriage Drivers aren't by then in conflict with the Landroverists, and the Whalesavers aren't denouncing the Glorious Thirteenth Grousers, I'll eat my crown.
Brit authorities could legally do an FBI and scrub malware from compromised boxen without your knowledge
Tuesday 20th April 2021 07:33 GMT
Re: A 7 step program!
Simples!
The moment someone writes this as part of anything other than a joke, it raises a flag. It usually indicates that the proffered solution is more likely simplistic than simple.
For example, take no.7. Five different countries, three of them currently with right-wing governments not disposed towards market regulation and two with centre-left governments, are expected to coordinate introducing the same legislation in the face of industrial lobbying and each country's varying federal/non-devolved structures and legislatures. Not simples.
To have one floppy failure is unlucky. To have 20 implies evil magic or a very silly user
Pigeon fanciers in a flap over Brexit quarantine flock-up, seek exemption from EU laws
Thursday 15th April 2021 23:01 GMT
Re: Round trip?
It's people like you who are running Great Britain down. You have no imagination and no gumption. I bet you don't even own a Union Flag, let alone display it the right way up as a backdrop for all your video comms. Shame on you, sir, shame on you! When the Daily Mail denounces you as a traitor you'll just turn tail and run, not stand up and fight like a true-blooded Englishman.
Can't they just have them start in another part of the British Empire?
This is why we must retake Calais immediately! En avant!
NHS COVID-19 app update blocked by Apple, Google over location privacy fears
Tuesday 13th April 2021 17:56 GMT
Re: Obviously...
Of course, the government didn't want the referendum result they got - they had shot themselves in the foot.
But the simple way for the government to fix that was for the party controlling government to shuffle some bodies around and get the new set of lacklustre minds to announce that the government was now fully in agreement with the electorate and to make it clear that the footbullet incident was the ideal opportunity to replace the weak, fleshy, backward-looking foot with a brand spanking new bionic foot capable of leading the country into a bright and glorious future. Unicorns arise!
Average convicted British computer criminal is young, male, not highly skilled, researcher finds
UK government opens vaccine floodgates to over-45s, NHS website predictably falls over
Tuesday 13th April 2021 17:38 GMT
Re: over 45s - over 50s
You could spend your day speculating about baby boomers and their children, or you could just go look up the number of people who fall into each age category.
45-49: 4,402,122
50-54: 4,661,015
Quality control, Soviet style: Here's another fine message you've gotten me into
Monday 12th April 2021 11:37 GMT
Re: take care when abroad
The hotel staff have to be able to open safes easily because people are always forgetting their code, or something goes wrong with the safe. The safe's code also needs to be cleared when a room is made ready for the next guest, so don't be too surprised if the cleaners also know the reset trick.
How to ensure your tech predictions catch on in a flash? Do the mash
Sunday 11th April 2021 00:23 GMT
Re: Future Gazing
Back to charcoal.
Yes, but there's a reason why we shifted from making charcoal to digging up coal and making coke. They're going to be at a huge disadvantage in terms of the ratio of energy output for effort input.
Basically, our planet (and perhaps many others) gets perhaps one or two shots at producing an intelligent species with the opportunity to build an industrial society. If the first one fails after (or because of) exhausting its natural resources, the second one isn't going to get much of a chance unless it appears some time after a second Carboniferous era -- half a billion years in total, say. After another half-billion years the oceans will have boiled away, so that's it for surface life and all the advantages that carries.
If we had been stuck at the 17th century stage of animal power and windmills, with no fossil fuels to uncover, how likely is it that we would have found a way through the metallurgical maze to recognise and develop efficiency improvements like rare-earth magnets or solar cells, or to manufacture drills and dynamos capable of usefully tapping geothermal power?
Saturday 10th April 2021 10:56 GMT
Re: Future Gazing
I've wondered what historians and archaeologists from the future will be able to find from the 21st century.
A shit-tonne of metal. Before the industrial revolution metal was valued and used carefully, with broken implements being mended wherever possible and melted down for complete reuse otherwise. People moving in frontier lands would burn their house down just so they could retrieve all the nails from the ashes, straighten them out and use them to build their next house. The artefacts we have recovered are primarily ones which were lost or which had to be abandoned to escape war or natural disaster.
Archaeologists in the future are going to dig up landfill sites to find an incredible concentration of elemental metals: iron, steel, copper, tin, zinc and aluminium from old or broken locks, RSJs, window frames, roofing sheets, cables, ducting, pipework, frying pans, toasters, alarm clocks, tin cans, bottle tops and everything else that we chuck out. It's only in the last 25 years that we've had any reasonable degree of household recycling, and arguably the level we have is still not high enough. They'll be able to follow the development of battery technology through the decades. They'll be able to identify the point at which touchscreen displays were invented when the landfill strata starts to include distinctive slivers of titanium and rare earth compounds.
There's another thing which will likely happen within a thousand years: the archaeologists will be competing with the industrialists to dig up the landfill sites. Before long humanity will have mined out the most accessible natural deposits of useful minerals, so that if there's still a technological society in the future -- and especially if it's one trying to develop and recover after a collapse -- they may find 20th century landfill sites to be the most readily accessible source of nearly pure metals.
Side note: a society recovering from a technological collapse may struggle to make it to their industrial revolution, because there will be no coal or oil they can reach by muscle power alone. Perhaps they'll have to figure out a way to mass-produce and work iron, and to run steam engines, by burning all our plastic waste.
Feature bloat: Psychology boffins find people tend to add elements to solve a problem rather than take things away
CERN boffins zap antimatter with ultraviolet lasers in the hope of revealing the secret symmetry of the universe
Friday 9th April 2021 20:49 GMT
Re: Definitions
OK, thanks for letting me know. It makes me doubly glad that my sub-plot to smuggle out Raphael's Adoration of the Magi and replace it with a perfect copy took place right on schedule, a fortnight earlier. You've saved me the trouble of boosting its market value stratospherically.
Turns out humans are leading AI systems astray because we can't agree on labeling
Facial recog biz denies its software identified 'antifa members' among mob that stormed Capitol Hill
BOFH: Bullying? Not on my watch! (It's a Rolex)
Yes, there's nothing quite like braving the M4 into London on the eve of a bank holiday just to eject a non-bootable floppy
From Maidenhead to Morocco: In a change to the scheduled programming, we bring you The On Call of Dreams
Saturday 20th March 2021 08:14 GMT
Re: Site Installation
Two Englishmen are on a hiking holiday through Switzerland. As they're walking along a narrow, remote valley road they come to a T-junction, where they find a man standing beside a BMW looking at a map. He smiles and calls out to them, "Excusez-moi, messieurs. Connaissez-vous la route de Zurich?" They look blank, and shrug their shoulders. The man shrugs too, and says "Entschuldigen Sie, meine Herren. Kennen Sie den Weg nach Zürich?" The Englishmen don't understand a word. The man in the car looks a little frustrated, but tries again. "Mi scusi, signori. Conosci la strada per Zurigo?" Blank looks. Finally, with visible annoyance, the man tries the one other language he knows. "Anteeksi, herrat. Tiedätkö tien Zürichiin?" Absolutely no response from the Englishmen. The driver scowls at them, jumps in the BMW and drives off just picking a direction at random.
One Englishman turns to the other and says, "You know, one day I really think I ought to learn a foreign language." His mate replies, "Why? That guy knew four and it didn't do him any good!"
Biting the hand that feeds IT
