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* Posts by Rich 11

2737 posts • joined 8 Jul 2009

F***=off, Google tells its staff: Any mention of nookie now banned from internal files, URLs

Rich 11
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Ah, that brings back fond memories of the more entertaining classes at school.

No, I didn't mean it like that! Get your mind out of the gutter.

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Rich 11
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Re: The sign of a dying company

If you've read their marketing bumph you'll know they are fluent in twatwaffle.

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Rich 11
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Re: US military services

And why doesn't your list include Space Force? You can't leave out the mighty Space Force!

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SQLite creator crucified after code of conduct warns devs to love God, and not kill, commit adultery, steal, curse...

Rich 11
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Just 10? I thought there were 613.

Amazing how many different interpretations can be made from the same few fairy tales. Thankfully no-one has ever thought them worth fighting over.

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Cops called after pair enter Canadian home and give it a good clean

Rich 11
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Re: No problem leaving the door open here in Austria ...

The dog or the smackhead burglars?

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Rich 11
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Re: Milk in Bags?

but because people were no longer being woken by the early morning clinking of glass bottles, so ended up late for work.

I was lucky when I was a kid, because my neighbour was a milkman and I was woken up at five o'clock every fucking morning as he tried to start his fucking Ford Anglia. And if it was the weekend or the summer holiday and I was trying to have a lie-in, he'd be back by eight thirty with an electric milk float jammed full of crates of noisily clanking empty bottles to have his fucking fried breakfast before clanking off back to the dairy.

Good bloke, mind.

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Rich 11
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Re: Door locks.

Ditto with the use of the back door. It was only once my parents were in their late fifties and turned paranoid ("all them immigrants in town, coming over here and working hard in our fields") that they got to locking the back door half an hour before sunset and the back gate half an hour after sunset. And then started leaving the gate locked during the day ("Betty down the road got burgled, you know" - Yeah, Mum, that was four years ago, when she was in hospital for a fortnight and the place was signalling **EMPTY** to the world 'cos her lad never bothered with the curtains when he watered the plants morning and evening, and Betty told me aaaall about it yet again just last week).

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Facebook names former Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg head of global affairs

Rich 11
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it was five years of fairly scandal free government and the country still had a health system at the end of it.

What?! I really don't think you've been paying attention.

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Rich 11
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Let me get this straight, you are saying that you stopped voting anti-Tory in your constituency and are angry that the Tory then got in? Sounds like it's your fault!

If you want to get it straight, read what I said again: it's Clegg's fault my constituency now returns a Tory. I'm angry with the Lib Dems (and I told them why), not with the smarmy git who now sits in Westminster (though I have caught him lying, but then like most politicians his lips do move).

The Lib Dems went into a coalition with the Tories, so voting Lib Dem turned out to be functionally indistinguishable from voting Tory. There's no point in repeating that action. The problem with tactical voting is that you never vote for what you want, only against what you dislike the most, and consequently no smaller party ever sees much of an increase in their vote and people then carry on voting tactically because they don't think any other party stands a chance. Sooner or later it has to stop. The Lib Dem vote collapsed in 2015 precisely because of the coalition, so they might yet learn their lesson. I have since voted for another party, even though I know they won't win, because at least it improves their chances over time. That's the only way to make a lasting difference.

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Rich 11
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Re: Boring boring boring.

You do some of your stuff and some of their stuff.

Except he failed to achieve the Lib Dems' main political intent of going into coalition: getting a meaningful vote on AV. He was outmanoeuvered by Cameron (can you imagine being outmanoeuvered by the man who thought a Brexit referendum would heal the divisions in his party?) and the referendum was held on the shittiest version of AV possible, with no-one except the Lib Dems arguing for it. Doomed to failure.

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Rich 11
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And charge employees nine grand to read a manual for themselves.

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Rich 11
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Re: RE: Forget It

And let's not forget David Cameron as Head of All That Green Crap.

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Rich 11
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If Clegg hadn't sold out for a taste of power as he did, my constituency wouldn't now be returning a f-witted Tory drone to Westminster. All the time I've lived here I've held my nose and voted Lib Dem just to keep the lower-than-vermin party out, but it became too agonising to sustain after 2010. And it seems about 2000 of my neighbours thought the same, not to mention similar numbers in another 39 constituencies.

Thanks, Nick, you useless wanker. Enjoy California. You won't recognise what remains of the UK by the time you come back.

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London flatmate (Julian Assange) sues landlord (government of Ecuador) in human rights spat

Rich 11
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He's waiting for us to all bow down and worship him. Nothing less will do.

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Rich 11
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Re: "Iron Mike Pence"

Yes I know, politically incorrect, but...yeesh

Definitely the wrong track there. After all, we know that he himself believes that he can't be left alone in a room with any woman who isn't his wife.

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Rich 11
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Joke

and I really don't think that CIA's SAD or JSOC are about to go do wetwork in the UK.

There's certainly no need for them to get their hands dirty. They could just contract it out to the Russians.

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Rich 11
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If it doesn't turn into a comedy show, I guess lawyers get to use the situation as an example of what not to do if you're looking for a simple life.

It's already being used as a teaching point on university law courses. To considerable amusement, I'm told.

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Haunted disk-drive? This story will give you the chills...

Rich 11
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Re: Actually

There's an obvious answer here

I'm surprised you missed the most obvious one: stop them all from breathing out.

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Chinese biz baron wants to shove his artificial moon where the sun doesn't shine – literally

Rich 11
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Re: The silver lining

What's a terrawatt?

It's a Terrahawk crossed with a Scots engineer, as any fule kno.

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Brace yourself, Britain: Health minister shares 'vision' for NHS 'tech revolution'

Rich 11
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Care to place a bet?

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EU aren't kidding: Sky watchdog breathes life into mad air taxi ideas

Rich 11
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Re: Helicopter emergency landing....

you plunge to fiery doom

No fiery doom if the reason for the crash was a failure to keep an eye on the fuel gauge. Still a closed-coffin funeral, though.

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Rich 11
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figure out how the human cargo will not be dropped like a stone to certain death

Simples. The AI assigns a value to each item of human cargo, based upon their mass and their level of raucous behaviour during the flight, then decides which piece (or pieces) of ballast are best propelled forcefully down through the euphemistically-named 'escape hatch' beneath each seat. Newton's Third Law ensures that the lives of the remaining cargo units are extended for a little longer, and the removal of mass also increases the chances that whatever remains of the multiply-redundant power/lift system may be sufficient to land the taxi either a) safely, or b) less fatally (no Category C will be defined or accepted).

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Leaked memo: No internet until you clean your bathroom, Ecuador told Julian Assange

Rich 11
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I think that's the idea behind "deterrence".

But at least ending up in an American prison isn't an actual death sentence. Mostly. They're certainly happy to consign people to cruel and unusual punishment though.

If it's deterrence which is the aim then something has gone badly wrong. The US has the highest incarceration rate of any country in the world yet also the highest crime rate in the OECD. Sounds like the War on Crime is about as effective as the War on Drugs.

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Which? That smart home camera? The one with the vulns? Really?

Rich 11
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Re: Some are indeed very secure,

Apologies. Can I make up for that dangerous oversight by appending "Then take off and nuke the lake from orbit"?

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Rich 11
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Re: It's all relative

Some are indeed very secure, if you unplug them, remove the batteries and bury them in concrete. And then chuck the concrete in a lake.

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What could be more embarrassing for a Russian spy: Their info splashed online – or that they drive a Lada?

Rich 11
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Not unless Russia is part of the EU

According to the analysis of our hugely experienced and big-brained foreign secretary, Mr Cunt, they're both part of the EUSSR and are out to get us anyway.

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It's over 9,000! Boffin-baffling microquasar has power that makes the LHC look like a kid's toy

Rich 11
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Alien

Depends on who is directing it and whether it's fitted with a collimator or a modulator.

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HMRC rapped as Brexit looms and customs IT release slips again

Rich 11
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Re: no surprise

You're not going to convince me the earth is round by calling me a racist

So you acknowledge that you believe the earth is flat?

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Rich 11
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Re: EU red tape bonfire

It's called shitting in a bucket with a bloody great hole in it. Lift it up and see what runs out.

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Rich 11
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Re: Scale of Challenge

In all fairness, I would say that's Theresa May's fault for issuing Article 50 before getting any sort of national agreement on what we wanted out of Brexit. HMRC was never going to get their systems sorted out in time anyway, and they've been given ridiculous deadlines and a moving target.

Then again, Farage, Gove, Johnson et al were amongst those calling for A50 to be issued ASAP, not to mention doing their level best to bugger up any attempt at agreement which didn't suit their immediate personal benefit, and sod everyone else. Fuck them. Fuck 'em, fuck 'em, fuck 'em. They've got a lot to answer for. There's a vast gulf of guilt between malice and incompetence.

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Rich 11
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Re: Don't worry. Be happy.

if UK production collapses it means we'll have to import even more than we already do

Not if we don't have the money. If prices go up and jobs become less secure, people will concentrate their spending on the essentials such as food and fuel. Replace that old fridge that's starting to sound a bit clunky? Not until it breaks, and even then you look for a cheap refurbished one to see you through another year or two. Need a new bed? No, just stick a bit of foam over the mattress for now.

It kicks off a cycle, and it can be a bugger to get out of. The less money there is going round and round in the local economy, the worse it is for everyone. If too few people are buying, people lose their jobs and even less gets bought. If a big local employer goes bust, the town suffers as the local shops sell less. This is why, during 2008 and 2009, there was discussion over whether giving every adult in the country £1000 in time-limited vouchers was a better idea than printing money to give to the banks and force them to keep it as a reserve. Increase demand so that the suppliers are kept busy, so that people get to keep their jobs and the government doesn't have to spend as much on social security (and can collect more VAT).

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UK should set its own tax on tech giants if international deal isn't reached – Chancellor

Rich 11
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Re: What kind of conservatives want to tax everything?

@codejunky:

If you truly believe that paying taxes is equivalent to having money stolen from you, then I have to ask you where do you think the funding for building roads and bridges comes from? Is the bank willing to fund you and your neighbours to build the stretch outside your row of houses? What are you going to do about the self-centred libertarian next door, who refuses to join in with the collective effort? What are you going to do about the family on the other side, whose breadwinners have just lost their jobs? And if you can get the road built, are you willing to pay a toll every time you drive on the road or walk along the pavement, to pay off that debt and all the interest? Don't you think that there might just be a better way?

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Rich 11
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Re: What kind of conservatives want to tax everything?

If America wants access to our Dutchy Original Shortbread it will bow down to our tariff demands on Facebook

Jam today and jam tomorrow. Jam manufacturers, unite and seize the future with your sticky grip!

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Rich 11
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Re: What kind of conservatives want to tax everything?

I would like someone to vote for who is in favour of lower taxes and fewer regulations.

And I would like someone to vote for who is not going to offer yet more monetary bribes, but who would restore the necessary degree of taxes which have been cut over the last three decades so that we can once again properly fund healthcare and schools and even (and I never thought I would ever say this) the police, and who will step back from kicking the economy in the bollocks by abandoning the irresolvable stupidity of Brexit.

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Civil rights group Liberty walks out on British cops' database consultation

Rich 11
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Re: And there my fellow commentards is THE brexit dividend

It's not "the politicians" who wanted Brexit in the first place.

But more than enough of them then decided to shrug their shoulders, waffle about "will of the people" (like they've ever cared before) and figure out how they could use it to advance their preferred ideology.

Please won't somebody think of the country!!!!11!!!

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Rich 11
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Re: 3 steps forward and 3 paces back

all the time I have given a dam about politics the home secretary has always been a loon

Now that's just not fair. Michael Howard wasn't a loon -- he was outright dangerous.

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AI-powered IT security seems cool – until you clock miscreants wielding it too

Rich 11
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Re: William Gibson

This is a situation recounted secondhand, so feel free to dismiss it. One of my mates was booked at short notice to provide technical advice on a cloud proposal being sold to a CTO and his cronies. He turned up to listen to the sales pitch and asked a number of pertinent questions, but had the feeling that his answers were being treated a little too lightly by the management representatives present. It was like they'd already made up their minds. Oh well, he was getting paid for the gig regardless.

On the way out he noticed that there were several glossy pamphlets scattered between the tables in the reception area outside, and he realised he'd seen some of the managers skimming them in the meeting room while waiting for the sales team to arrive. The pamphlets were extoling the financial benefits of cloud solutions. He went over to the receptionists and started chatting with them, and asked if they knew where the pamphlets had come from. It turned out that they'd all appeared the previous morning, but the receptionists couldn't remember anyone leaving them there (and certainly no-one had asked permission). My mate reached the obvious conclusion: the sales people were real sneaky bastards.

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Rich 11
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Re: William Gibson

Maybe that awareness is countered to some degree by the knowledge that a lot of the talk about AI is overblown, and that in this context machine learning can fail to produce an effective attack just as easily as it can fail to produce an effective defence.

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Rookie almost wipes customer's entire inventory – unbeknownst to sysadmin

Rich 11
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Re: .cobol

He said he had everything under control.

That's the warning sign, right there. Along with "Trust me, I know what I'm doing."

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Resident evil: Inside a UEFI rootkit used to spy on govts, made by you-know-who (hi, Russia)

Rich 11
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Re: We know you'd never present us one made by the USA or UK, so yeah

but you cannot or would not publish it due to our laws.

Comment alert! Target acquired. Activate the black helicopters.

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Attempt to clean up tech area has shocking effect on kit

Rich 11
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Re: It happened to colour TVs, too....

Extra points for fixing TV's by vacuuming the interior cob-webs and dustballs out.

And using methanol to remove the worst of the oily nicotine build-up on any surface which had been exposed to the fumes from a chip pan bubbling away for an hour or more every Saturday before the footie.

Edit: I'm glad to see I'm not alone in remembering that muck, Alan!

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Rich 11
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Re: Why is it always the cleaners?

OTOH I've seen what happens when cheaper contracted-out cleaners take over from the locally employed staff. It isn't good.

MRSA and C Diff. One of my mates contracted C Diff during a hospital stay and it came within 12 hours of eating holes in his intestines, before the antibiotic of last resort kicked in. That would not have been a nice way to go.

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Trump's axing of cyber czar role has left gaping holes in US defence

Rich 11
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Trump to Putin

"Mission accomplished."

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Bombing raids during WWII sent out shockwaves powerful enough to alter the Earth's ionosphere

Rich 11
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Approx

about 1,000 kilometers (about 621 miles)

It's OK to say "about 600 miles" rather than reach for the calculator and quote the conversion exactly.

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UKIP doubled price of condoms for sale at party conference

Rich 11
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Re: Eh?

Dont be like that. Not all remain voters are idiots

Unlike the noticeable majority of Leave voters. After all, who in their right mind leaps out of the frying pan (as Leavers describe the EU) and into the fire? Yes, the fire. You're still waiting for all your wonderful Day One free trade treaties to be signed, as promise by your magnificent-brained leaders. And especially after the German car companies had strong-armed Mrs Merkel into bending over and forcing the German government to submit to your every wish, so that you arise triumphant from the ashes of the failing European Union.

Bored now.

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Rich 11
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Re: Eh?

"For fucking idiots"

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How an over-zealous yank took down the trading floor of a US bank

Rich 11
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Re: Unplugging the keyboard = kernel panic ?

Came off in my hands guv'.

Said the actress to the bishop.

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Rich 11
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Re: DevOps?

All we need is a buzzy name and we can get waterfall development back in fashion.

TQAIASSM (t'-kwai-as-'m)

Total Quality Artificial Intelligence Administered Stateful Software Management.

I can feel the dollars rolling in already. I'll write it once I've been funded enough to retire to a distant tropical island (volcano lair optional).

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UKIP flogs latex love gloves: Because Brexit means Brexit

Rich 11
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Provide an argument for remain based on real world facts and/or data,

Sure. We retain a stable economy by remaining part of the largest free trade bloc on the planet. We retain the influence we have on the global stage as part of the EU. Given our population size and the size of our economy, we effectively share the leadership and direction of the EU with France and Germany, so we have far greater influence within the EU than nine-tenths of the members. Much of this is determined through the Council of Ministers, where you can see that in the ten years prior to 2016 decisions went our way 87% of the time (a figure which any British government would have been proud of in Westminster over that same period).

i.e. no opinions and no FUD?

Now you provide the argument for leaving, based upon real-world facts and data, without resorting to opinion and FUD.

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Rich 11
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Re: UKIP Condoms

priced at £1 each or 4 for £2

A snip at half the price.

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