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* Posts by Rich 11

2592 posts • joined 8 Jul 2009

You: 'Alexa, open Cortana.' Alexa: 'Who?'

Rich 11
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Re: Interesting

"Alexa, tell Cortana to tell Alexa to fuck off."

Heh. I've just tried it. Alexa responds, "I'd rather not answer that."

She sounded a bit miffed.

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Rich 11
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Re: Interesting

I am curious about the train crash two computers can generate.

"Alexa, tell Cortana to tell Alexa to fuck off."

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Google bod wants cookies to crumble and be remade into something more secure

Rich 11
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Equality

Google$, Fa$cebook, Twi$tter... Happy now?

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EU wants one phone plug to rule them all. But we've got a better idea.

Rich 11
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Re: IEC

It's why the US refuses to adopt many standards and uses "American customary units".

American Customary Units include such delights as US gallons, ungrounded electrical plugs and gerrymandered electoral districts.

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Rich 11
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Re: To later

Let's have a British USB specification, which does what WE want

And while we're at it, we'll colour it passport blue. That will make everything right.

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Patch Tuesday heats up with pair of exploited zero-days squashed – plus 58 other vulns fixed

Rich 11
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Re: Incomprehensible

Can you imagine it, a bridge gets built, but then needs to be closed 18 thousand times for patches

Most bridges are designed to be single-function, mostly solid, mostly immovable objects, though, and meant to last for centuries; you can't say the same for any general-purpose OS. Bridges do receive regular maintenance to keep them fit for purpose (well, maybe not in Genoa), and are occasionally closed for things like widening, repairing the roadbed or even adding suicide nets, not to mention for carrying out repairs for damage caused by storms, floods and/or earthquakes.

That said, patching Windows does occasionally feel like painting the Forth Road Bridge. And they don't even have to repaint that every year now.

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Wasted worker wasps wanna know – oi! – who are you looking at?

Rich 11
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Anyone know how to block the production of ethanol dehydrogenase? I'd like that option when I'm on my deathbed. It sounds like more fun than slowly building up a tolerance to synthetic opioids.

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Rich 11
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Re: You're not thinking BIG enough

Yup, read that as a kid too. Didn't the free humans mount dead wasps on the roof of their truck so the Furies would think they were under control?

It was a daft idea for a book, but fun.

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Rich 11
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Re: HP Fruity Sauce

The effective solution, albeit coupled with a wasp trap was diluted HP Fruity Sauce.

No surprise there. In the West Riding they would have grown up having gravy on everything and would be sure to welcome something with a bit more of a tang.

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Rich 11
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Re: How High?

No apple trees there as far as I know though.

Easily fixed. Just sacrifice the local McPlod in a wicker man.

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Rich 11
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Re: How High?

I think I would prefer to deal with a couple or few p8ssed wasps than a bear or a moose.

Admittedly I too would be a little disturbed if a black bear sidled up to me in the pub, put its arm around my shoulder and said, "Yor my besh mate, y'are. 'Ere, 'ave shum berriesh."

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Rich 11
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Re: Wasps

If I had toys in the attic I'd burn the house down.

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Rich 11
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Because... they can fly?

If a wasp was strong enough and lucky enough to survive flying through a torrential downpour for forty days and forty nights then that's a wasp that I definitely don't want contributing to the wasp gene pool.

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Rich 11
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Asian Hornets

The helicopter gunships of the insect world.

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Rich 11
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So why didn't he leave all the little fuckers to drown when he unleashed Plan Sea?

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Google keeps tracking you even when you specifically tell it not to: Maps, Search won't take no for an answer

Rich 11
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Trust Us (c)

You can see why they dropped their 'Don't be evil' slogan, but what they conveniently forgot to do was replace it with 'Lie like a motherfucker'.

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Former NSA top hacker names the filthy four of nation-state hacking

Rich 11
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Re: Land of the Incarcerated

Hey, slave labour ain't free, you know!

https://www.cio.com/article/2417888/outsourcing/prison-labor--outsourcing-s--best-kept-secret-.html

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Rich 11
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Re: NOOOO!! Can't be true!!!

It ain't so.

There, do you feel better now?

Didn't think so. Depressing, ain't it?

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Space, the final Trump-tier: America to beam up $8bn for Space Force

Rich 11
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Re: Americans need to alter the criteria for being allowed to be president.

He was even a really successful President

He was particularly successful at not being able to recall anything on the witness stand.

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Rich 11
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Re: Flesh Gordon!

When it comes to hearing about that film the Russians made, silence is golden.

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Rich 11
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First to get probed.

We could save them the trouble and just tell them that of course he's full of shit.

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Rich 11
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Re: I don't understand why they need it

a bunch of primitives who crap behind bushes and wear towels on their heads.

Oi, do you mind! I have some very good friends in Kentucky.

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Rich 11
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Re: Excellent sub-head!

No, I think Trump has displayed both malice and stupidity to significant degrees.

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Rich 11
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Don't worry, Joe and Jane, you'll still get all the healthcare your government thinks you're worth.

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Phased out: IT architect plugs hole in clean-freak admin's wiring design

Rich 11
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Re: Huh?

Moral: test the WHOLE system, not just your part.

Well, obviously. But how often do you get approval from manglement to risk the system going down by running those tests? If you're really, really lucky the entire team ends up working on the morning of Christmas day.

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Rich 11
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Plot twist? What plot twist?

"I looked at the installation and realised the sysadmin had meticulously wired all the servers to the same phase," Oscar said.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that we all saw this coming.

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Devon County Council techies: WE KNOW IT WASN'T YOU!

Rich 11
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Re: Thanks, Labour

I don't think you can blame the council for the quality of the letter, though you can certainly blame them for the piss-poor excuse. If you look closely you'll see the contact is 'within Babcock LDP', a firm of educational consultants.

On second thoughts, you can blame the council: they outsourced the enforcement of their statutory obligations to a private company who employed someone unable to use a spell checker and took a slice of taxpayers' money as private profit. It also seems to be a private company which is owned by a chain of other Babcock limited liability partnerships, possibly culminating (the chain is too tangled for me) in a Babcock Corporate Secretaries Limited which holds interests in over 200 companies in the services, aircraft and arms sectors. Sounds like a nice little earner.

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Need a facial recognition auto-doxxx tool? Social Mapper has you covered

Rich 11
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??

by matching a photo of your face to the selfies you used on each of the account pages.

What's a selfie?

Yeah, good luck with that. I'm not in the habit of staying in frame when some self-obsessed idiot gets a camera out either.

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Brain brainiacs figure out what turns folks into El Reg journos, readers

Rich 11
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Smell my cheese!

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Rich 11
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Re: Before Snowden / Schrems / Cambridge Analytica

Economics is very different. Different enough to buy itself a pretend Nobel prize just to give itself a hearty slap on the back.

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Battle lines drawn over US mass surveillance as senators probe NSA's bonfire of phone records

Rich 11
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Re: Shame

Freedom? I can see why that would upset some people but usually the ones who want control.

I have no problem with the personal liberty aspect. It's the deregulation and small government drive that goes with it. Look at the US and the ongoing removal of environmental preservation laws, the industrial fouling of rivers, strip mining and clear felling. It's all done to maximise profit now and pays no mind to the future. If you live downstream of a mining operation and the leachate gets into your water table, there's currently little recourse and Koch and his ilk are aiming for no recourse. Want low taxes? Of course you do. Then say goodbye to any form of social safety net and fuck the sick, the elderly and the poor. Doesn't matter because it's their fault for being poor because they didn't work hard enough, right? Or never managed to save any money because two minimum-wage jobs barely provides enough to pay the rent. Nothing to do with decades of schools being run down in areas of low property value, and definitely nothing to do with race because the US is a post-racial society now, right? Just put them all to work in prisons, where they'll be paid a dollar an hour and undercut local businesses (yes, prisons no longer make licence plates and mail bags; they run call centres and win ditch-clearing contracts). I once met an idiot who thought police and fire services should only be available to those paying for a contract with a given SLA; I soon found out he wasn't the only one.

Don't get even me started on healthcare, or the acceptance of quackery or the belief that desperate ill people have the right to be ripped off and die an early death, all in the name of freedom. Your piss-poor argument that exploitation via libertarianism doesn't matter because authoritarians do it too is hardly a clarion call for acceptance, is it?

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Rich 11
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Re: Shame

The more I read about libertarianism the less I like it. The more I hear libertarians espouse their views the less I like them. Too much opportunity for exploitation of the many and the entrenchment of wealth and power in the hands of the few for my taste.

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Rich 11
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Your move

Their move would be to send round the lawyers demanding that the allegation be proven. The only people who can have people rounded up and put in prison (more specifically, in Guantanamo Bay) without due process is the CIA.

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Rich 11
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just scared to death of the NSA

Maybe they fear that the NSA's accidental data-hoovering may have exposed yet more contacts between the Trump campaign and Vlad's friends amongst the oligarchs.

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Stress, bad workplace cultures are still driving security folk to drink

Rich 11
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Re: Curiously American

A right that is deserved, not earned. Extra annual days are earned, through long service, usually, but everyone deserves the opportunity to get away from work for a while and relax or just do life stuff.

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Greybeard greebos do runner from care home to attend world's largest heavy metal fest Wacken

Rich 11
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Re: @1 hr A Non e-mouse

Whoosh!

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Rich 11
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Breaking the law.

No doubt they were picked out of the crowd by the electric eye. I imagine they'll now be screaming for vengeance.

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Click this link and you can get The Register banned in China

Rich 11
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Go and wibble elsewhere, sad little wibbler.

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Grad sends warning to manager: Be nice to our kit and it'll be nice to you

Rich 11
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Headmaster

Re: what the fuck does PC LOAD LETTER mean?

I'm going to be a pedant and remind you that the Wapping dispute was about Murdoch closing an entire printing plant with the intent of secretly bringing another one online. His heavy-handed attitude to his employees was the cause of the dispute; it was not an excuse. Negotiations had been going on for months before the strike was called.

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Rich 11
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Re: This is normal in every human endeavor.

I once worked in a large office where the lights would go off if the movement sensors decided no-one was present, and on again once someone moved into range. Being the first in on most mornings I quickly learned where the boundaries were for the various lighting zones.

One day we were due to have a trainee start, and I found this kid waiting for me at Reception at 7.30am or whatever ungodly time it was (fair enough, better early than late). As I led him through the building I asked him about his (near total lack of) experience so I could work out where best to start him off. When I opened the door onto the darkened office I joked, "Anyway, technical knowledge isn't everything. Sometimes you just have to let the machines know who's boss", and as I walked across the first boundary I held both arms out wide and clicked my fingers (the lights came on), across the second boundary (click! - lights) and into the third zone (fiat lux!). I turned round and he was just standing there, gob wide open with eyes as large as saucers.

There are days when the universe realises it just owes you one.

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Basic bigot bait: Build big black broad bots – non-white, female 'droids get all the abuse

Rich 11
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Re: Last time I checked Spain was in Europe...

It's that ugly 'one drop' attitude. If you look like you might have even the lightest of brown skin tones they leap (unconsciously or otherwise) to the conclusion that your great-great-great-great-great-grandmother must have been a depraved and immoral miscegenator.

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Rich 11
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Terminator

I can see where this will lead

They argue that those designing robots should consider abuse-avoidance mechanisms, conflict de-escalation strategies, and mediation options in the face of aggression during multi-person human-robot interactions.

Would the mediation options include a phased plasma rifle in the 40-watt range?

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Now that's a dodgy Giza: Eggheads claim Great Pyramid can focus electromagnetic waves

Rich 11
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Re: It was aliens wot did it

Many of us have known about this since at least 1973. Some of us were brought up on the late Lyall Watson's seminal Supernature, which included a chapter on how to keep a razor blade sharp by storing it overnight in a cardboard replica of the Great Pyramid.

That's the one! I picked up a secondhand copy when I was 12. I built a little cardboard pyramid and borrowed a used razor blade from my dad. I left it there for several weeks, testing the edge every day on another sheet of cardboard, and of course noticed that it just got blunter and blunter. At about the same time Uri Geller was in the news and on Blue Peter bending spoons, and I think he was the one who mentioned pyramids keeping bacon fresh. That didn't work either.

I've always been grateful to Lyall Watson for contributing to the development of my sceptical mindset (fair play, he did write well too). I refuse to thank Uri Geller for anything, though, the fucking fraudulent grifter.

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Rich 11
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Alien

It was aliens wot did it

Bloody hell. This one is going to get the alien origins nutters jumping up and down again. They'll all believe this was planned and therefore the ancient Egyptians couldn't have done it. After all, if you think about it, Lincoln Cathedral was designed to focus worshippers on the unseen altar so why wouldn't the pyramids be designed to focus radio waves on the foundations, huh? Huh? If you build your own model pyramid out of cardboard and put a piece of bacon or a razor blade at the focus it'll never rot or go blunt, right? What more proof do you need? Get your heads out of the sand, sheeple!

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Think tank calls for post-Brexit national ID cards: The kids have phones so what's the difference?

Rich 11
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Re: FFS - NO

There is no point to them.

Of course there's a point to them. They remind foreigners that they're not trusted, and they remind the rest of us that -- depending upon your political viewpoint -- either a) successive governments are happy to spend lots of money on a pointless exercise, or b) that it's only right to have a crackdown on those goddamn bogus asylum seekers who are really economic migrants and over here taking our jobs and our women.

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Rich 11
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Re: ...citing the Windrush scandal as justification.

Surely it would have just led to the earlier expulsion of lots of people?

Exactly. And in the same vein this sentence reminded me of something:

a national ID scheme would act against "ugly forms of nativism"

One of the people who stood up against the last attempt to introduce ID cards was a woman who recounted that in her childhood she came home from school one day to tell her mum that she was going round to visit a friend who'd missed school, assuming that her friend must have been taken ill. Her mum told her she couldn't, and started crying. This was in 1940 and they lived in Jersey. The Nazis had finished checking the Town Hall ID card records and early that morning rounded up all the Jews.

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The Solar System's oldest minerals reveal the Sun's violent past

Rich 11
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Re: 100 micron meteorites

You'll struggle to find much space dust at ground level.

Are you sure?

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Rich 11
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Headmaster

Unclaimed accuracy

The temperature would have been more than 1,500 degrees Celsius (2,732 Fahrenheit)

It's quite alright to say 2,700F. It's not necessary to copy everything direct from the press release or from a calculator.

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Ecuador's Prez talking to UK about Assange's six-year London Embassy stay – reports

Rich 11
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Lenin Moreno

I wonder what his mum's and dad's politics were?

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Early experiment in mass email ends with mad dash across office to unplug mail gateway

Rich 11
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Re: Net send

Microsoft's greatest triumph was Microsoft Mail. It was basically a huge set of folders sitting on a server's file share, with near-total write permissions given to all Mail users. My hands have started shaking just thinking about it, 25 years later.

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