* Posts by Swarthy

2412 publicly visible posts • joined 24 Jun 2009

Misconfiguration of Java web server component Jolokia puts orgs at risk

Swarthy
Coat

So....

Jolokia is peppered with security flaws. Anyone putting it in production with out hardening deserves to be the bhut of many jokes; and that chili feeling they just got is the ghost of their career, fleeing.

All right, I'm leaving. No need for the pepper spray!

Have YOU had your breakfast pint? Boffins confirm cheeky daily tipple is good for you

Swarthy
Coat

I would imagine that plants in a zero-radiation environment would grow poorly, the poor dears do need radiant light to grow, after all.

Atari accuses El Reg of professional trolling and making stuff up. Welp, here's the interview tape for you to decide...

Swarthy
Trollface

Re: One, two, three, many

Just your bog-standard base-four counting system.

I think it was originally developed by professional crocodile wrestlers.

Unbreakable smart lock devastated to discover screwdrivers exist

Swarthy

Re: Great product

"Other than that; Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?"

User spent 20 minutes trying to move mouse cursor, without success

Swarthy
Joke

Re: eeeww - gross

Board Chow!

Geoboffins baffled as Ceres is crawling with carbon organics

Swarthy
Alien

Re: Endolithic crustose lichen?

I was thinking it looked more like a false-color image of a hotel room wall bathed in black-light.

But, you know, your suggestion is much less disturbing.

Astroboffins 'sprinkle iron filings' over remnant supernova

Swarthy
Devil

Re: Not too shabby indeed

"Traffic-control-laser"
I'm okay with this as long as I'm the only person with one.
Fine, you can have the only Traffic Control Laser, so long as I can have the only Traffic Control Maser.

Aussie bloke wins right to sue Google over 'underworld' images

Swarthy
Holmes

Your are Ford Prefect, and I claim my five quid!

You have suffered without red-headed emoji for too long. That changes Tuesday

Swarthy

Re: More???

Well, animated GIFs do have a long tradition of expressing a precise meme-ing.

Kill the blockchain! It'll make you fitter in the long run, honest

Swarthy

Re: They're sharks, not shark-bait!

You got that right, chum!

It's all true – I bribed big city's IT boss with fat bathroom bungs, admits tech biz chief exec

Swarthy
Devil

Let's see....

At a $94/hour contract rate, the "Break even" point would see the employee getting paid $47/hour, $42 if you allow for a 10% overhead. That would mean the employee is bringing home ~$87K/year. In some of the more expensive parts of the country this is a decent, mid-career IT Specialists paycheck. In Detroit, this would be a Senior Level Hard-to-find Specialist who could have retired, but they keep throwing more money to keep them.

Most probably the employee was getting on the order of $22K/Year, or $10.50/hr. This would cost the employer $21/hr - $23/hr; meaning they were clearing about $70/employee/hour.

Yeah, There was nothing honest about this consulting company.

Church of England will commune with God for you via Amazon's Echo

Swarthy

Re: Oh great

No! Just a very naughty computer.

Lawyer warned FCC of Securus phone-tracking risks 10 months ago

Swarthy

Hey, I can believe hopeful. I hope the FCC will do their job, I can even hope that Pai will stop prioritizing telcos over their customers.

I don't believe that it will happen, but I can hope.

President Trump broke US Constitution with Twitter bans – judge

Swarthy
Boffin

Re: putting my dancing shoes on...

Another judge that thinks she's the POTUS (or above him).
Per the Separation of Powers, she kinda' is:
  • The Legislative Branch creates the laws
  • The Executive Branch executes(enforces) the laws
  • The Judicial Branch interprets the laws
If the interpretation of the Law is at odds with how it is executed, the execution must change to reflect the interpretation.

"Legislating from The Bench" is actually what judges are supposed to do.

Swarthy
WTF?

Re: Off with his head!

So, using this precedent media companies are going to be legally required to give air time for everybody that shouts at their TV or barges onto a stage uninvited from the audience, and newspapers will be required to publish every letter?
Yes! On top of that, allowing same-sex marriage will cause people to marry their dogs, legalizing cannabis will increase heroin overdoses, and deporting undocumented immigrants after a conviction will collapse the labor market.

*Here's the </sarc> tag for those that need it.

Boffins: Michael Jackson's tilt was a criminally smooth trick

Swarthy
WTF?

Re: WHAT!!! Annie? Really?

Oh, we are not going into a Yanny and Hardy sketch, are we?

Braking news: Tesla preps firmware fling to 'fix' Model 3's inability to stop in time

Swarthy
Coat

I think they were just padding their comment count, trying to drum up some votes.

Hitler 'is dead' declares French prof who gazed at dictator's nashers

Swarthy

Re: Ah yes but....

Have you been talking to The Boys from Brazil?

NASA fix for Curiosity rovers's damaged drill: hitting it, repeatedly

Swarthy

If, at first, you don't succeed

Use a bigger hammer

Swarthy
Boffin

Re: What an odd way of putting it!

I like "crafts'manship". Using the apostrophe to denote the dropped 'hu' from human.

Map app chaps Waze add shout-at-sat-nav support for Ford cars

Swarthy
Go

Re: Google

A comparison that I am blatantly stealing that describes Waze

  • Apple Maps: Enjoy this artisanally-crafted route ETA: 38 Minutes
  • Google Maps: Our Algorithms have Identified this best-path solution ETA: 32 Minutes
  • Waze: Drive through this dude's living room ETA: 26 Minutes

Astroboffins spy the most greedy black hole yet gobbling a Sun a day

Swarthy
Boffin

A clear case of a Rectal-Cranial Inversion.

US Congress finally emits all 3,000 Russian 'troll' Facebook ads. Let's take a look at some

Swarthy

Hypothesis C: A & B are both correct.

Zookeepers charged after Kodiak bear rides shotgun to Dairy Queen

Swarthy
Coat

Re: Sense of humor

'Tis an un-bearable shame!

Where to find dark matter? $34m says go look 2km under Canada

Swarthy
Thumb Up

Again looking for the Article Upvote button

Solely for the addition caption to the header image: "Oi! Vendor-land! Feel free to copy this design for a small-form-factor PC"

'Cause that would be a cool design for a SFF PC. - Almost as cool as the Lian Li Yacht case

Astroboffins discover the stink of eggy farts wafting from Uranus

Swarthy
Flame

Re: H2S isn't just a nasty smell

I think I vaguely remember reading about hydrogen telluride in Ignition!

"There are, after all, some chemicals that explode shatteringly, some that flame ravenously, some that corrode hellishly, some that poison sneakily, and some that stink stenchily. As far as I know, though, only liquid rocket fuels have all these delightful properties combined into one delectable whole."

Ah, no. The bit I was thinking of was discussing the use of butyl mercaptans as a rocket fuel. ...Apperantly the idea stunk.

Hello DARKNESS, my old friend. I've come to talk with you again... about a 10,000-pixel alien-hunting camera

Swarthy
Boffin

Also Noteworthy

The closer a pixel's size is to the wavelength of the light it is trying to captre, the more noise is introduced to the image. The goal of DARKNESS is to have as little noise as possible; thus they did not try to shrink the pixels in the sensor.

Swarthy
Thumb Up

DARKNESS

Now that is a world-class Backronym!

You're a govt official. You accidentally slap personal info on the web. Quick, blame a kid!

Swarthy

Re: Laws and Lessons

Had it been said that "There is little doubt if what he did was against the law." I would agree whole heartedly. There is little doubt. The kid grabbed a bunch of files made publicly available (kind of like we all do when we download software updates); there is no law against that. It's on par with "Wearing a loud shirt in a built-up area".

Net neutrality advocates freak out as lobbyists pull rug from California's draft net neutrality law

Swarthy
WTF?

I'll make you an offer

Howabout we septics keep our politics limited to the Comments Sections of articles about US politics, and in exchange everyone else can stop whining about the Bootnotes articles.

Or, alternatively, if you don't want to read about USAian politics, don't click on articles about USAian politics. If you do, and then proceed to the Comments Section, you really ought to be prepared for septics discussing politics.

On the topic of Left v. Right name calling, I agree, and wish it would stop - Not just in Comments, but in general (in person, in the "news", in the houses of government, etc.).

Congressional group asks FBI boss Wray to explain Apple lawsuit

Swarthy

Re: Likely answers

"I'm sorry Senator, I cannot recall"

'I crashed AOL for 19 hours and messed up global email for a week'

Swarthy
Happy

Re: Dig

Ah, I still remember the smell and awesome patterns they made. We used the nuked discs as coasters.

What a time to be alive: LG and Italian furniture-maker build smart sofa

Swarthy

You won't

If the bog roll is smart enough to know its fate, it will escape or self-immolate before you ever get a chance to see it.

Donkey Wrong: Arcade legend Billy Mitchell booted from record books amid MAME row

Swarthy
Boffin

They don't

Per TFA, the requirement is an Original board, not Official. It further explains, in TFA, that even differing generations of the boards can have impacts on high scores. I wouldn't have been at all surprised if the high score submission required a Serial Number of the cabinet, or the revision number of the game board.

Best thing about a smart toilet? You can take your mobile in without polluting it

Swarthy
Coat

Re: Toilets which blow hot air...

Sounds like someone is blowing smoke....

If they modify it to sanitize the hot air with UV light, could they then be said to be "pumping sunshine up your ass?"

Swarthy

Re: The cuckoo clock

I forget who it was that said it, but somebody said that Germany's two greatest achievements were convincing the world that Beethoven was German and Hitler was Austrian
I had heard it as "Austria's greatest accomplishments were convincing everyone that Mozart was Austrian, and that Hitler wasn't."

But I don't know the original source, either.

Sysadmin’s worst client was … his mother! Until his sister called for help

Swarthy
Trollface

Re: Ahhh...

I have been known to send people this link (XKCD) for how to become "computer smart"

White House: Is it OK to hijack, shoot down, or snoop on drones? Er ... asking for a friend

Swarthy
Pirate

Re: Law of unintended (but expected) consequences

Reference Maxim 29: The enemy of my enemy is my enemy's enemy. No more. No less.

They're back! 'Feds only' encryption backdoors prepped in US by Dems

Swarthy

In light of this

And other goings-on, I feel the need to ask, Does anyone know of any good Software Dev/Archetect gigs in any countries that are not sliding into a police state? Preferably where one could get by with English for the first yar or two while picking up the local tongue?

My preliminary resaerch makes me think Ireland may be a good choice, but I want to get inputs from the Commentariat to make a good descision.

Thanks in Advance.

Sysadmin shut down the wrong server, and with it all European operations

Swarthy
Stop

Re: Powerdown Kid?

"That's NOT what an I/O port is used for!"

My PC makes ‘negative energy waves’, said user, then demanded fix

Swarthy
Trollface

Re: Reverse the polarity!

Ohm my God, that's a poor pun...
And you couldn't resist that one either? It's shocking what passes for humour in thes pages.

You should all be grounded.

2001: A Space Odyssey has haunted pop culture with anxiety about rogue AIs for half a century

Swarthy
Terminator

Re: It's not the A.I. it's WHO OWNS the A.I....

Obligatory XKCD

Super Cali goes ballistic, Starbucks is on notice: Expensive milky coffee is something quite cancerous

Swarthy
Alert

Re: Remember MacDonald's Coffee?

Oh, Shit! I better cut back!

Swarthy
WTF?

Re: the judge who cried wolf?

Next Question: How does one put a Prop 65 Warning on air? 'Cause one of the most corrosive, flammable, carcinogenic, and damaging chemicals known to humanity is Oxygen.

I guess, in LA they could just carve it into the smog... but LA should have an exemption, as there isn't much O2 in the air.

Donald Trump jumps on anti-tech bandwagon, gets everything wrong

Swarthy

Re: El Reg gets it wrong again

If we are spouting off fevered theories about the death of Toys-R-Us, then I would point out that While salaries have remained stagnant for the past 10 years, inflation has been happening at about 3% per year. So each year your average wage-slave has been getting an annual 3% reduction in effective pay. (Not even counting insurance premiums and losses of benefits)

Toys-R-Us sells non-essential luxury goods (toys, in the common vernacular); historically when resources become scarce, luxuries are the first to go.

User fired IT support company for a 'typo' that was actually a real word

Swarthy

Re: Dangers of OCR and spellcheckers

Obligitory XKCD

Swarthy

Re: If I wrote spill chuckers...

"With all due respect" could also be "I believe you suffer from acute Dunning-Kruger syndrome" or "All of the respect that i feel you are due, which is none".

Swarthy

Re: "Mangers feature prominently in the Christmas story"

Of course, it doesn't hurt the UK side of things that they exported the majority of their Religious Nutters over to what would become the US.

First there were notebooks. Then tablets. And now ‘book tablets’

Swarthy
Go

Re: I wish Pratchett was still around -

I'd love to see an OOKlet with a realdragon 888 octarine core chip running Linux small gods edition.
That might not be too hard to arrange (If one has maybe a few million to fund development/production). I think this could be a Kickstarter!

First, you fork/Theme a MIPS-capable Linux distro as Small Gods Edition

Then you team up with Imagination Technologies to create a custom processing core that includes one(1) each M, I, and P class core bodged into one super-core, along with power management silicon, call it 111 Octrine.

Continue work with IT (or find another Foundry) to build a 8 Octrine super-core SoC called the realdragon. (8x111 octrine=888 octrine)

Slap the realdragon SoC and assorted gubbins into a medium-large tablet, load your Small Gods Linux on there, and call it an OOOKlet.

But be sure to never use the M-word around it, if you do, even bananas won't save you.

Corking story: Idiotic smart wine bottle idea falls over, passes out

Swarthy

Shoulda' had the promo code be LASTCALL. But, I guess the people in this company aren't the type to hang out at bars.