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* Posts by Swarthy

1935 posts • joined 24 Jun 2009

Oracle? On my server? I must have been hacked! *Penny drops* Oh sh-

Swarthy
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Re: re The bad old days

JANET?! Dammit!

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Got any ecsta-sea? Boffins get octopuses high on MDMA – for science, duh

Swarthy
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Re: A rally of octopus

A wunch of Bankers?

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A flash of inspiration sees techie get dirty to fix hospital's woes

Swarthy
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Re: Slightly similar situation.

Logitech Darkfield Mice would solve that problem. Mine will even work on clean (un-scratched/un-textured) glass.

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Boss regrets pointing finger at chilled out techie who finished upgrade early

Swarthy
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Mushroom

Re: The boss owned up? Apologised, even?

A military leader doesn't want to find out that his / her people don't trust them at the time the bullets start flying all around the place..not because the troops may advance to the rear with haste, but because some of the bullets heading toward said office may originate from "friendly" weapons.

Not to mention that live grenades, minus their pins, make for lousy bedfellows.

Military troops can/will take a lot of grief, but if it gets to be too much, they tend to lodge their complaints ballistically.

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Sur-Pies! Google shocks world with sudden Android 9 Pixel push

Swarthy
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Boffin

Re: Its all in the name

Maybe it's Android v.9.86.96

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Swarthy
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The REAL challenge

Will be coming up with a proper dessert-themed "Q" word.

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Nah, it won't install: The return of the ad-blocker-blocker

Swarthy
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Re: How about ...

Return of the pop-under? I'll stick to Privacy Badger, thanks.

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Here's why AI can't make a catchier tune than the worst pop song in the charts right now

Swarthy
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Paris Hilton

Re: I'm actually surprised that it works on raw samples at all

I would be tempted to try some sort of 2D (or 3D for the extra challenge) visual representation of known music (perhaps frequencies defining hue, amplitude defining saturation, and time being converted to physical space) to train one of the visual/image "AI" machines and see if converting their generated output would do better than the audio AI.

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UK spies broke law for 15 years, but what can you do? shrugs judge

Swarthy
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Trollface

Re: GCHQ, MI5 and MI6 can fix the problem overnight ...

Just buy subpoena Facebook, then it's all legal.
If they bought Facebook, it would then be illegal for FB to collect all that they do.

So, yeah, they spooks should buy FB.

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Boffins mix AI and chemicals to create super-fast lab assistant

Swarthy
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Terminator

Re: Things I wont Work With

I also thought of that guy, and Ignition!, on reading this article. Except I thought "Hey, maybe this contraption could characterize some of the less pleasant fluorine reactions.

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Adtech-for-sex biz tells blockchain consent app firm, 'hold my beer'

Swarthy
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Coat

Re: Cheers for clarifying

More about the one-eyed bandit?

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Tech team trapped in data centre as hypoxic gas flooded in. Again

Swarthy
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Re: New version of Cluedo

Tim Curry as the BOFH, Madeline Kahn as Gina.

Or a reasonable facsimile thereof, it has been over 30 years.

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FCC caught red-handed – again – over its $225 complaint billing plan

Swarthy
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Re: Swamp

<quote>....was smoking something awfully strong.</quote>

Right, wrong hallucinogen, more likely LSD!!!

Considering the location of his support base, I'd suspect Meth.

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Drug cops stopped techie's upgrade to question him for hours. About everything

Swarthy
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Re: Pretty sure some other bloke is having a bad day...

The way I've seen Mass/Random Wizz Quizzing work is that they select a number of people to participate, and then select a number of samples at random to test. They may test each of them for a random substance, because there is no test for "everything". So OP may have been one of the non-tested samples, and wyatt's "guy" was randomly selected for the substance he got busted for.

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UK Foreign Office offers Assange a doctor if he leaves Ecuador embassy

Swarthy
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Headmaster

Health is every bit a public concern as education.
'Sokay, tho. The US is ruining its education systems as well. (preventing any improvements, actively shutting down any investigations into fraud, and doing SFA in regards to school safety)

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Misconfiguration of Java web server component Jolokia puts orgs at risk

Swarthy
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So....

Jolokia is peppered with security flaws. Anyone putting it in production with out hardening deserves to be the bhut of many jokes; and that chili feeling they just got is the ghost of their career, fleeing.

All right, I'm leaving. No need for the pepper spray!

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Have YOU had your breakfast pint? Boffins confirm cheeky daily tipple is good for you

Swarthy
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Coat

I would imagine that plants in a zero-radiation environment would grow poorly, the poor dears do need radiant light to grow, after all.

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Atari accuses El Reg of professional trolling and making stuff up. Welp, here's the interview tape for you to decide...

Swarthy
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Trollface

Re: One, two, three, many

Just your bog-standard base-four counting system.

I think it was originally developed by professional crocodile wrestlers.

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Unbreakable smart lock devastated to discover screwdrivers exist

Swarthy
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Re: Great product

"Other than that; Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?"

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User spent 20 minutes trying to move mouse cursor, without success

Swarthy
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Joke

Re: eeeww - gross

Board Chow!

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Geoboffins baffled as Ceres is crawling with carbon organics

Swarthy
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Alien

Re: Endolithic crustose lichen?

I was thinking it looked more like a false-color image of a hotel room wall bathed in black-light.

But, you know, your suggestion is much less disturbing.

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Astroboffins 'sprinkle iron filings' over remnant supernova

Swarthy
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Devil

Re: Not too shabby indeed

"Traffic-control-laser"
I'm okay with this as long as I'm the only person with one.
Fine, you can have the only Traffic Control Laser, so long as I can have the only Traffic Control Maser.

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Aussie bloke wins right to sue Google over 'underworld' images

Swarthy
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Holmes

Your are Ford Prefect, and I claim my five quid!

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You have suffered without red-headed emoji for too long. That changes Tuesday

Swarthy
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Re: More???

Well, animated GIFs do have a long tradition of expressing a precise meme-ing.

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Kill the blockchain! It'll make you fitter in the long run, honest

Swarthy
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Re: They're sharks, not shark-bait!

You got that right, chum!

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It's all true – I bribed big city's IT boss with fat bathroom bungs, admits tech biz chief exec

Swarthy
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Devil

Let's see....

At a $94/hour contract rate, the "Break even" point would see the employee getting paid $47/hour, $42 if you allow for a 10% overhead. That would mean the employee is bringing home ~$87K/year. In some of the more expensive parts of the country this is a decent, mid-career IT Specialists paycheck. In Detroit, this would be a Senior Level Hard-to-find Specialist who could have retired, but they keep throwing more money to keep them.

Most probably the employee was getting on the order of $22K/Year, or $10.50/hr. This would cost the employer $21/hr - $23/hr; meaning they were clearing about $70/employee/hour.

Yeah, There was nothing honest about this consulting company.

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Church of England will commune with God for you via Amazon's Echo

Swarthy
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Re: Oh great

No! Just a very naughty computer.

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Lawyer warned FCC of Securus phone-tracking risks 10 months ago

Swarthy
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Hey, I can believe hopeful. I hope the FCC will do their job, I can even hope that Pai will stop prioritizing telcos over their customers.

I don't believe that it will happen, but I can hope.

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President Trump broke US Constitution with Twitter bans – judge

Swarthy
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Boffin

Re: putting my dancing shoes on...

Another judge that thinks she's the POTUS (or above him).
Per the Separation of Powers, she kinda' is:
  • The Legislative Branch creates the laws
  • The Executive Branch executes(enforces) the laws
  • The Judicial Branch interprets the laws
If the interpretation of the Law is at odds with how it is executed, the execution must change to reflect the interpretation.

"Legislating from The Bench" is actually what judges are supposed to do.

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Swarthy
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WTF?

Re: Off with his head!

So, using this precedent media companies are going to be legally required to give air time for everybody that shouts at their TV or barges onto a stage uninvited from the audience, and newspapers will be required to publish every letter?
Yes! On top of that, allowing same-sex marriage will cause people to marry their dogs, legalizing cannabis will increase heroin overdoses, and deporting undocumented immigrants after a conviction will collapse the labor market.

*Here's the </sarc> tag for those that need it.

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Boffins: Michael Jackson's tilt was a criminally smooth trick

Swarthy
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WTF?

Re: WHAT!!! Annie? Really?

Oh, we are not going into a Yanny and Hardy sketch, are we?

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Braking news: Tesla preps firmware fling to 'fix' Model 3's inability to stop in time

Swarthy
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Coat

I think they were just padding their comment count, trying to drum up some votes.

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Hitler 'is dead' declares French prof who gazed at dictator's nashers

Swarthy
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Re: Ah yes but....

Have you been talking to The Boys from Brazil?

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NASA fix for Curiosity rovers's damaged drill: hitting it, repeatedly

Swarthy
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If, at first, you don't succeed

Use a bigger hammer

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Swarthy
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Boffin

Re: What an odd way of putting it!

I like "crafts'manship". Using the apostrophe to denote the dropped 'hu' from human.

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Map app chaps Waze add shout-at-sat-nav support for Ford cars

Swarthy
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Go

Re: Google

A comparison that I am blatantly stealing that describes Waze

  • Apple Maps: Enjoy this artisanally-crafted route ETA: 38 Minutes
  • Google Maps: Our Algorithms have Identified this best-path solution ETA: 32 Minutes
  • Waze: Drive through this dude's living room ETA: 26 Minutes

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Astroboffins spy the most greedy black hole yet gobbling a Sun a day

Swarthy
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Boffin

A clear case of a Rectal-Cranial Inversion.

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US Congress finally emits all 3,000 Russian 'troll' Facebook ads. Let's take a look at some

Swarthy
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Hypothesis C: A & B are both correct.

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Zookeepers charged after Kodiak bear rides shotgun to Dairy Queen

Swarthy
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Re: Sense of humor

'Tis an un-bearable shame!

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Where to find dark matter? $34m says go look 2km under Canada

Swarthy
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Thumb Up

Again looking for the Article Upvote button

Solely for the addition caption to the header image: "Oi! Vendor-land! Feel free to copy this design for a small-form-factor PC"

'Cause that would be a cool design for a SFF PC. - Almost as cool as the Lian Li Yacht case

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Astroboffins discover the stink of eggy farts wafting from Uranus

Swarthy
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Flame

Re: H2S isn't just a nasty smell

I think I vaguely remember reading about hydrogen telluride in Ignition!

"There are, after all, some chemicals that explode shatteringly, some that flame ravenously, some that corrode hellishly, some that poison sneakily, and some that stink stenchily. As far as I know, though, only liquid rocket fuels have all these delightful properties combined into one delectable whole."

Ah, no. The bit I was thinking of was discussing the use of butyl mercaptans as a rocket fuel. ...Apperantly the idea stunk.

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Hello DARKNESS, my old friend. I've come to talk with you again... about a 10,000-pixel alien-hunting camera

Swarthy
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Boffin

Also Noteworthy

The closer a pixel's size is to the wavelength of the light it is trying to captre, the more noise is introduced to the image. The goal of DARKNESS is to have as little noise as possible; thus they did not try to shrink the pixels in the sensor.

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Swarthy
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DARKNESS

Now that is a world-class Backronym!

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You're a govt official. You accidentally slap personal info on the web. Quick, blame a kid!

Swarthy
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Re: Laws and Lessons

Had it been said that "There is little doubt if what he did was against the law." I would agree whole heartedly. There is little doubt. The kid grabbed a bunch of files made publicly available (kind of like we all do when we download software updates); there is no law against that. It's on par with "Wearing a loud shirt in a built-up area".

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Net neutrality advocates freak out as lobbyists pull rug from California's draft net neutrality law

Swarthy
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WTF?

I'll make you an offer

Howabout we septics keep our politics limited to the Comments Sections of articles about US politics, and in exchange everyone else can stop whining about the Bootnotes articles.

Or, alternatively, if you don't want to read about USAian politics, don't click on articles about USAian politics. If you do, and then proceed to the Comments Section, you really ought to be prepared for septics discussing politics.

On the topic of Left v. Right name calling, I agree, and wish it would stop - Not just in Comments, but in general (in person, in the "news", in the houses of government, etc.).

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Congressional group asks FBI boss Wray to explain Apple lawsuit

Swarthy
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Re: Likely answers

"I'm sorry Senator, I cannot recall"

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'I crashed AOL for 19 hours and messed up global email for a week'

Swarthy
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Happy

Re: Dig

Ah, I still remember the smell and awesome patterns they made. We used the nuked discs as coasters.

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What a time to be alive: LG and Italian furniture-maker build smart sofa

Swarthy
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You won't

If the bog roll is smart enough to know its fate, it will escape or self-immolate before you ever get a chance to see it.

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Donkey Wrong: Arcade legend Billy Mitchell booted from record books amid MAME row

Swarthy
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Boffin

They don't

Per TFA, the requirement is an Original board, not Official. It further explains, in TFA, that even differing generations of the boards can have impacts on high scores. I wouldn't have been at all surprised if the high score submission required a Serial Number of the cabinet, or the revision number of the game board.

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Best thing about a smart toilet? You can take your mobile in without polluting it

Swarthy
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Coat

Re: Toilets which blow hot air...

Sounds like someone is blowing smoke....

If they modify it to sanitize the hot air with UV light, could they then be said to be "pumping sunshine up your ass?"

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